Posted in: Mr. Tito
MR. TITO STRIKES BACK - Who Will Win the 2013 Royal Rumble?
By Mr. Tito
Jan 6, 2013 - 11:20:32 PM

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The "Excellence in Column Writing" is upon you here at LordsofPain.net / WrestlingHeadlines.com. It is I, your humble host Mr. Tito, who is excited to be watching wrestling in January. No matter what year, you knew that even the worst that the WWE has to offer can at least put on a good Royal Rumble show. To me, nothing beats the excitement of the 30 man Royal Rumble match. The countdown and then the excitement of the entrance music... And then, the "sense of urgency" because the winner of the Rumble gets a shot at a World Title at the biggest show of them all, Wrestlemania. Sure, the stupid Elimination Chamber Pay Per View has stolen some thunder, but that Chamber match sucks compared to the Rumble match.

It will be no different this year. Even if you have gripes as a longtime fan about the WWE Creative Team, you can at least have some anticipation about that Rumble match. Aside from WHO wins the Rumble, what can Creative ruin? At the end of the day, the match is still a 30 man over-the-top match with a countdown to each wrestler joining the match. Until that is changed (although I enjoyed it when it increased to 40 wrestlers), the Royal Rumble is guaranteed to always entertain. From Royal Rumble to Wrestlemania, this is the BEST time of the year to be a WWE wrestling fan because after this time period, the WWE gets lazy. The modern day WWF puts all of their eggs in the Wrestlemania basket and that show pays for lots of things during the year. For instance, the WWE can afford to go cheap on the other Pay Per Views because Wrestlemania brings in so much...

The GRAND PRIZE of the Rumble match winner drives up anticipation months before the Royal Rumble occurs. I've been asked repeatedly who will win the 2013 Royal Rumble match as many fans are trying to forecast the Wrestlemania 29 card. And as they ask me "WHO SHOULD WIN", I give them the same answer every time:

If I were booking, JOHN CENA would win the 2013 Royal Rumble match.

Why? Because the WWE needs to MAXIMIZE revenues on the Rock vs. John Cena II match, presumably for the WWE Title (assuming Rock does in fact beat CM Punk at Royal Rumble in a singles match), by having John Cena earn a credible title shot and with plenty of months to hype. Yeah yeah, Cena would win it through the Elimination Chamber piece of shit match.... But if John Cena wins the 2013 Rumble, the WWE will have a FULL 2 months to hype the show. Better yet, the Monday Night RAW after the Royal Rumble would be HUGE. To have the Rock celebrate his WWE Title win and have John Cena, the new #1 contender from the Rumble match, get in his face... Television gold! WWE would have a month and a half to hype it if John Cena wins the Elimination Chamber match on February 17th... But you WANT that post-Rumble RAW confrontation to get the ball rolling.

Sure, that plays into the fact that "John Cena wins everything"... Well, then how about the rest of the WWE roster step it up and get to his level? CM Punk is the only one on that roster worthy as being close to Cena as a legitimate drawing WWE Superstar. Until someone can rise up and overcome the God-awful WWE Creative booking, the WWE will kept John Cena strong. The WWE has it already set in stone that John Cena is beating the Rock at Wrestlemania 29 to win the WWE Title... So deal with it. John Cena draws the merchandise and puts butts in the Houseshow seats. If you don't "get it" yet, then please go study the WWE's 10-Q or 10-K financial reports and dare to consider what happens if John Cena were to leave. John Cena winning Royal Rumble 2013 perfectly sets up Rock vs. Cena II, again, assuming that Rock wins.

BUT... Who else could win the Royal Rumble, other than John Cena?

For one, if CM Punk vs. the Rock is NOT the Main Event, then maybe CM Punk could enter the Rumble match and get the World Title shot. I highly doubt that scenario would happen as business has bee down over the past year and I wouldn't doubt that WWE officials (or McMahons) are scapegoating CM Punk for the downturn in business on the RAW brand, notably the ratings (under 3.0 consistently during the NFL football season). If he Punk wins a title shot, I would be betting he'll move to the Smackdown roster to cash in (I predicted he'd go to the Smackdown brand at some point in 2013 for my Predictions Column). But after the 1 year+ title reign, WWE officials (McMahons) are looking at numbers closely and aren't seeing much of a growth in business. Granted, CM Punk barely main evented major events as WWE Champion...

Reportedly, Triple H is once again pushing HARD for Sheamus to win the Royal Rumble. Sheamus has become a good friend of Triple H, as anyone willing to listen to Triple H on weightlifting gets in good with the Game. Ask Batista, who was Triple H's lifting buddy during the mid-2000's. Triple H is obsessed with bodybuilding and when he's able to instruct another person how to sculpt their body, he gets off on it and presents favorable booking in return. Sheamus has been shoved down our throats because of this despite him not being that over as World Heavyweight Champion. Before Wrestlemania 28, the Smackdown television show was above 2.0 regularly on SyFy Channel. After Wrestlemania 28, once Sheamus won the title, consistently under 2.0. He's NOT a drawing main eventer despite being pushed as such. The 2012 Royal Rumble saw Triple H repeatedly trying to push Sheamus to be the Rumble match winner, possibly keeping Chris Jericho from winning the Rumble.

So who should win the rumble? Well, let's break this down Top 10 style...

Mr. Tito's Top 10 Royal Rumble Winner Possibilities (BESIDES John Cena)

#10 - The Undertaker - If CM Punk retains against the Rock before the Rumble match, then the Undertaker's entrance into the Rumble becomes a possibility. After all, the WWE has talked about CM Punk vs. the Undertaker for Wrestlemania 29. CM Punk remaining champion and Undertaker becoming #1 contender via Rumble match puts the match together...

#9 - Shield member. I figure that the trio will be working in unison for the event. I wouldn't doubt that the WWE might consider putting one of the members over, possibly Dean Ambrose, as a means to threaten causing chaos with the title shot at Wrestlemania. They might win it and attempt to give it to CM Punk... Vince McMahon would say "no" to that gesture and then make BOTH Elimination Chamber matches as Wrestlemania #1 contender determinants.

#8 - Brock Lesar - Outside chance that he uses one of his remaining contractual dates to enter the Royal Rumble and win it. Highly unlikely, as the Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar match appears to be set in stone... But if A.D.D. Vince McMahon starts discussing changes in his Wrestlemania plans again, don't doubt that we could see Brock vs. Rock vs. John Cena. I find this to be highly unlikely, as John Cena already took care of business with Brock Lesnar....

#7 - The Miz - I don't understand the booking of the Miz for the past year. Reportedly, the WWE officials are upset that the progress of Miz's face turn. But, with all of Miz's warts and trips to the doghouse, he still gets favorable booking. I've always had the sense that fellow wrestlers dislike him because he's a suck-up to WWE management...

#6 - Alberto Del Rio - The WWE gave him the 2011 Royal Rumble victory, if you recall... But this time, Del Rio is a face. I wouldn't doubt that the WWE is willing to give Del Rio the "Rumble Bump" with the arrogance thinking that the 2011 victory didn't work because Del Rio was a heel. Right...

#5 - Dolph Ziggler - An interesting booking decision could be having Ziggler become obsessed with winning a World Title at Wrestlemania. If he retains the Money in the Bank and also wins the Royal Rumble, he could boast that he's "guaranteed himself" to win a World Title at Wrestlemania 29. In other words, he could use the Royal Rumble title shot to get the Wrestlemania 29 World Title match for Smackdown, but threaten that he'll cash in the Money in the Bank briefcase that night as well if he loses. At least this is what I'd book if Ziggler is the chosen one....

#4 - Ryback - Only because the WWE is quite high on Ryback and would be willing to use the Royal Rumble to elevate him further, even if the booking doesn't make sense. Why? He'll have to go after the Smackdown title... Hmmmm, I did hear rumors that the WWE wanted Big Show vs. Ryback. But the WWE wants him on RAW, right?

#3 - The Rock - Everybody expects the Rock to defeat CM Punk at Royal Rumble 2013. If Rock vs. CM Punk occurs BEFORE the Rumble match, LOOKOUT, especially if CM Punk somehow defeats the Rock. If Rock loses before the Rumble match, he's quite the surefire pick to win the Rumble. I figure that the WWE might actually run CM Punk vs. John Cena on the RAW following the Royal Rumble to have John Cena win the WWE Title to set up Wrestlemania. Just saying, IF Rock vs. CM Punk is NOT the main event and if CM Punk retains, Rock will be a Royal Rumble entrant.

#2 - Sheamus - Triple H's workout buddy. No matter how much it's indicated that Sheamus, at this stage in his career, is not a significant draw... Triple H is crazy HIGH on him, especially when Sheamus says "yes" to any bodybuilding recommendations that Triple H has. I'm willing to bet that Sheamus can quote any passage in Triple H's Bodybuilding Book to ensure the continuation of the strong pushes by Triple H.

#1 - Randy Orton - In my opinion, the Royal Rumble winner should be a NAME wrestler. That, and I believe that the Smackdown brand needs a "pop" with a bigger name from that roster winning the Rumble and then getting featured at Wrestlemania. I could easily envision Dolph Ziggler cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase to become champion and then give us Orton vs. Ziggler for a GREAT Wrestlemania match-up possibility. Randy Orton did have the Wellness Program suspension... But he appears to have turned that around and he remains a WWE legacy guy with his dad, Cowboy Bob Orton. and along with John Cena, a member of the developmental "Class of 2002" that remains on the roster.

WINNER = RANDY ORTON

Just chill till the next episode...

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