Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #325 - Thoughts on SD Live - 10-3-17
By Marissa Laiman
Oct 3, 2017 - 10:00:00 PM

Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017




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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #324 - Thoughts on SD Live - 10-3-17

1. Shinsuke's entrance never gets old. As a huge entrance mark, it's definitely one of my favorite parts of professional wrestling as a whole.

2. "A lot of people think that he's crossed the line." Yeah, it's funny how saying incredibly racist shit can do that.

3. Sticks and stones? Really? Come on, they could've given you a better line than that.

4. We've got our first interruption already, and it sounds like someone's old-school television got stuck halfway between changing channels. The Singh Brothers come out to do their best Club Sandwich impression, short of calling Shinsuke a NERD!

5. Jinder attacks from behind after being introduced, and it's called a "well-laid out plan." Shinsuke gets the better of him, and then he takes out the Singh Brothers, one of whom botches getting thrown out of the ring. It becomes three-on-one like a lot of segments seem to have recently.

6. It's a go-home show, so we've gotta press hard on a "face-to-face." As if none of their previous encounters had done so. Not quite a censored holy-shit chant, but it's close.

7. Speaking of annoyance, James Ellsworth is on the show. Better remind us how Natalya is also on an E! Total show too. It's not painful enough to have one.

8. What the hell? They got rid of Becky Lynch's pyro? You bastards!

9. Ellsworth's still a pet, and he's even got a t-shirt or it. That's a thing that happened.

10. I'm trying to watch the match, but how am I supposed to focus with Ihop talking about Latte-flavored pancakes? They definitely have to have pumpkin spice-flavored at that rate too. Oh, but with REAL pumpkin. Well that's different.

11. Go Twins! If they beat the Yankees, there'll be at least one Indians playoff game here in Minneapolis, and I'll be there. That'd be easier than traveling to Cleveland.

12. Wow, Charlotte's in the title match and Becky Lynch is the face in peril. Can't believe that turn of events! Nice kickout into the hot tag though.

13. Natalya being able to wrap those long legs into a Sharpshooter is rather impressive. Charlotte taps to it regardless, so the heel team wins after shenanigans. Charlotte must have the worst televised show record ever.

14. The Usos will read the New Day... their rights? See? That's better than face-to-face for the 2342344654th time. At least it's something different, even though I don't know what it is.

15. Video package recap of the Shane/KO feud.

16. Bobby Roode is next live, so he's about to face someone he's going to win against. But at least we'll have some Glorious-ness!

17. Man, that Mike Kanellis angle ended quickly. He's about to be the victim of the Hallelujah entrance that Sandow dreamed of one day headlining with. It's a shame no one's told Mike that his haircut is so 1998 that it doesn't even realize it's 2017.

18. In the words of disappointed women everywhere... "wow, that ended quickly."

19. Dolph comes out, surprisingly as himself, to talk shit after the match. Oh no wait, he's working on an entrance and he goes for... Somewhere between Big Poppa Pump and Right to Censor? No, how's he gonna dress this time?

20. I guess he ran out of costumes because he comes out with a freaking drum. What the hell am I watching?

21. Now that everyone in the crowd is hearing high-pitched humming from an airhorn in the mic, Bobby continues to stare at the two-weeks-running HAM.

22. Bobby finally gets back on the mic to laugh about Dolph's entrance, which admittedly had a great closing line about someone being all entrance. He then decides to give everyone a little Val Venis with a Mr. Kennedy spotlight. Why not? That was fun.

23. Time for the cheap Network shill! As if it wasn't terrible commercial enough, they have a "but wait, there's more!" to put the icing on the terrible, terrible cake.

24. JBLdammit Twins, really? Can't even hold a three-run lead for an inning? Can you manage to not lose to the Yankees for once in your miserable lives?

25. Are they just adding random quotes to the beginning of everyone's music? I mean, sometimes it makes sense, like with the Miz's. But the Usos? Wow, that makes Roman Reigns's push feel less forced.

26. I'm really impressed with their character change. I can remember how stale their gimmick was after a long time. Their joint promo feels almost like a bit, which is a great counter to the bright and weird work of the New Day. Finishing each other's sentences, it's rather adorable really.

27. Smackdown's in the same arena? Doesn't look like Smackdown drew much better. In fact, those roving spotlights from the New Day's entrance are finding some empty low level seats too. Stay the course! Don't change anything!

28. Ordinarily the New Day comes out to tell some jokes, but I think they're gonna be super serial. Super, super serial. New underwear serial. Wow.

29. Big E turns up the HAM, bringing it to a truly serious level, proving that they can, in fact, turn on the serious switch. Good, that makes it much different from most of their long tag title run.

30. Oh good, more Jinder Mahal... Said no one ever. He's here to guide us through recap hour. He should audition for Audible in the insomniac section.

31. I almost expected him to refer to himself as the W... W... E... World... Heavy... Weight... Champion! I might've forgiven him for a few seconds if he'd done that.

32. Goodie, Tye's about to lose to Baron Corbin, because why shouldn't someone over with the crowd lose out to someone vacant and apathetic? Fun!

33. So much sliding in and out of the ring, surely the end to this vicious circle will take us to commercial break. It does!

34. At least Tye is an NXT call-up who is sort of involved in a feud. That's better than a lot of call-ups in the last couple years.

35. Holy shit, Dillinger with the upset win! He Hurricane-Rock'd him right out of the match! What a pleasant surprise, and a much-needed win for Tye!

36. AJ gets to gloat a little bit too, and he plays up the Shortcut King thing too. Nice little spot to follow up on it too.

37. Randy Orton vs. Aiden English again? All right, I'm listening...

38. Rusev bringing the HAM himself. He had his Super Sweet 16 RUINED!

39. Who knew one half of the Vaudevillains would end up in a feud with Randy Orton?

40. Randy Orton wins with a stalling RKO, I think I'd call it. No shock, and Rusev just watched disappointed. He's then super subtle about how he may sneak in, but Orton does the snake thing to turn around and face him. Okay, that was cool.

41. A week after Sami warned KO just what he was getting into, now Sami is backstage to warn Shane what he's walking into. Sami sounds like the dejected best friend, and Shane pretty much tells him to fuck off. All right then.

42. Some guy right in camera view was SUPER excited to see Shane McMahon. I wish I could be that happy about ANYTHING.

43. KO doesn't show up at first call from Shane, which will lead him to talk more shit before getting interrupted.

44. A disembodied KO finally responds to Shane's trash talk, and he comes out from the same spot that the Miztourage did their Shield impression. Is this just a thing now?

45. "Nobody calls me yellow, McFly!"

46. Shane's gonna follow him out there. It's a trap! Don't do it, Shane! You have so much to live for!

47. Oh wow, he attacked him from behind, there's a surprise! We're gonna have a merch table battle, aren't we? We sure are, and they've got security keeping people from them and everything! How convenient! KO gently places Shane through several t-shirts, and then does his best to avoid high-fiving little kids.

48. Time to Shield entrance again while a dude in the Rock jersey does the RVD taunt. Kay.

49. KO's delivering some dramatics that end with a threat to throw him off the cell. Can't have a Shane O Mac match without one of those. And speaking of him, here he comes.

50. If KO doesn't like being proven wrong, he should pull a Fonzie and forget his ability to say it.

51. Someone twerked at Shane as he walked down. The shit people do to get on television.

52. The fight with KO and Shane gets started again, and Shane gets back in the fight. Regardless of how many feuds he has, the crowd is ridiculously excited for them time and time again. I mean, it gets a "this is awesome!" chant... for some reason...

53. This is what a go-home show should be doing... Making you want to tune into the PPV instead of killing time and counting down until the show happens. This has been a pretty fun show, everything considered. But KO isn't done, even though Shane keeps fighting back. KO brings it old school, and by old school I mean like three weeks, and he does the vicious headbutt. The refs are calling him off like there won't be a HiAC match if he doesn't stop, but surprisingly, they'll do much worse to each other in a few days, so it's kinda strange.

54. Good show. Hell in a Cell should be interesting, if nothing else.

HAM OF THE NIGHT

I think I'll go with Rusev this time, for his displeasure at having his birthday ruined.

2012 - Daniel Bryan
2013 - Paul Heyman
2016 - Chris Jericho
1-2-17 - Kevin Owens
1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher
1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels
1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose
1-16-17 - Sami Zayn
1-17-17 - John Cena
1-23-17 - Xavier Woods
1-24-17 - James Ellsworth
1-30-17 - Mick Foley
1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-6-17 - Goldberg
2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-13-17 - Chris Jericho
2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss
2-20-17 - Lana
2-21-17 - Maryse
2-27-17 - Mick Foley
2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt
3-13-17 - Paul Heyman
3-14-17 - AJ Styles
3-20-17 - Austin Aries
3-21-17 - Mizcena
3-27-17 - Big Cass
3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena
4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists
4-2-17 - The Undertaker
4-3-17 - Chris Jericho
4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-10-17 - Braun Strowman
4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-17-17 - Samoa Joe
4-18-17 - Nobody
4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss
4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler
5-8-17 - The Miz
5-9-17 - The Usos
5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill
5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze
5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt
5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley
5-30-17 - Fashion Files
6-5-17 - The Miz
6-26-17 - Paul Heyman
6-27-17 - The Ascension
7-3-17 - TROOF
7-10-17 - Paul Heyman
7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus
7-18-17 - Randy Orton
7-24-17 - Kurt Angle
7-25-17- Chris Jericho
7-31-17 - Bray Wyatt
8-7-17 - Paul Heyman
8-8-17 - Arn Anderson
8-14-17 - Big Cass
8-15-17 - Breezango
8-28-17 - John Cena
9-4-17 - Braun Strowman
9-11-17 - The Miz
9-18-17 - Neville
9-19-17 - Dolph Ziggler
9-24-17 - Paul Heyman
9-25-17 - Alexa Bliss
9-26-17 - Dolph Ziggler
10-2-17 - The Miz
10-3-17 - Rusev

Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.