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Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017 LAIMAN'S LINKS Marissa's Website Marissa's Blog Marissa’s podcast Twitter - @RisMcCool Email - [email protected] All my books and bookings are available at RisMcCool.com IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #320 - Thoughts on SD Live - 9-19-17 1. Well after finding out that Kevin Owens had enough of Vince McMahon liking big sweaty men, I just had to find out what happened next! 2. Kudos to 72-year-old Vince McMahon for still taking bumps. That's pretty badass. That's gotta be a lot of pressure on KO though... hitting moves on your senior citizen boss who embarrasses people publicly for almost injuring someone else. 3. The angle was garbage, but Shane's music hitting reminds me of when Shane came out to attack Kane after he tombstoned Linda. That kind of intensity is something you beg pro wrestling for. 4. Was that Corey Graves I heard? Is he doing both shows now? 5. Shane is really upset that his father gotten beaten down, considering he had to jump off a cage at the Undertaker by his own making. 6. Speaking of striking down with great vengeance, roll credits. But this, according to the commentators, is the most intense thing they've ever seen in Hell in a Cell. Um, Mick Foley, line 2? 7. That graphic of the hands either holding up the ring or trying to get into it is fucking badass. Bonus HAM to that graphic designer. 8. Randy Orton is in action next, so yeah, someone's losing to an RKO. 9. Ohai, Smackdown Live's Curt Hawkins. Summoning his inner Richard Cheese, he gets a few seconds to mock that entrance theme. Here's the question though; will this match last longer than Rusev's? At least it won't be an RKO during a commercial like a previous interaction of these two. 10. What happened to JBL? Did I miss something? 11. Aiden English is making one hell of an impression! Backdropping Orton on the table? Impressive! 12. Was he singing his way back from the commercial break? That's ridiculously HAMmy, I love it. 13. The counter-RKO was a lot more impressive when it was a counter to an actual move. At this point it's as overdone as the superplex. Regardless, Aiden English got put over huge here. Glad to see him moving up in the quality matches ranks. 14. Rusev's still around, apparently. How does he have any credibility left at this point? It's like finding out that someone's facing Club Sandwich. 15. Don't worry, Rusev. The last major time a star got insulted with a ridiculously short match at a major show, the YES! Movement started. I know he said he's going to rip the fangs out of his mouth, but I thought he said "rip the fans out of his mouth." 16. After a distraction from Aiden English, Rusev wins with a superkick. All right then. 17. Hey guys, if you're going to talk about breaking news, perhaps you shouldn't have your scripts clearly visible. Just a note. 18. Jinder Mahal is still champion. 19. Rusev doesn't know what elated means, but he continues celebrating like Christian during his tantrum phase. That was... strange. 20. Apparently the Singh Brothers are huge Ricardo Rodriguez fans. We also have two straight segments with being "conquering heroes" of their respective (listed) home countries. 21. "You cannot deny that Jinder is a worthy WWE champion." Like Stairway in a guitar store: DENIED! 22. I'm gonna pretend this isn't incredibly uncomfortable. It's not going well. 23. A "That's Too Far!" chant breaks out. That's a new one. 24. Shinsuke responds with fake laughter, and keeps it brief. If only Jinder could learn that trick. 25. Now we've got ourselves some AJ Styles, to learn that you, in fact, are not up to finding any of the quantity of the none. Dare I say, some of the none. However, it's time to learn that no. You are not up for any of the some. None whatsoever. 26. AJ gets a little "soak in the chants" moment, and well deserved at that. AJ reminds KO that he's a good guy now, so he can chastise someone for attacking a McMahon. 27. AJ cuts a promo about Corbin being the Shortcut King, and Baron has another new entrance theme and Titan Tron video. At least he's finally learning not to stand and shift his weight so much. 28. Corbin in with the cheap shot, but suddenly someone comes out to make an attack on Corbin. Ohai Tye! Corbin's selling the leg something fierce. He's waving the ref off so it's not likely a thing, but we might get to see the calf crusher be effective for a change. Speaking of which, there it is. Another hiccup match bites the dust. Good thing they advertised that title match as a big deal... 29. Now we've got Charlotte returning to talk about Ric. But first, Corbin is hopping along backstage. That definitely seems like a great time to approach someone about how they feel. 30. It's a very sweet sentiment of making every moment count, until int's interrupted by... ::groan:: Natalya. 31. Gee, is the woman under the sheet going to be herself? Oh wow, it totally is. Who saw that coming? 32. Charlotte decides to challenge her for the championship, and Becky Lynch's music hits about two seconds later. 33. And Naomi's turn. What is this, the opening promo of RAW? It's a Hustle-style clusterfuck! 34. Before Naomi can, Tamina, you're the next guest on the Price is Right. And so is Lana! We're gonna have another multi-woman match, aren't we? 35. Apparently Natalya isn't a crazy cat lady, but she is Squints, cause she's gonna be the champ FOR-EVVVV-ERRR! 36. Hey Daniel Bryan, are you about to make a thing happen again? Only four, eh? Let me guess, winner faces Natalya at Hell in a Cell? Of course she does. 37. The Hype Bros get a match against the New Day, which if nothing else, at least it's not New Day vs Usos again. Hot potato tag title in motion. 38. The Midnight Hour? Is that a Billy Idol reference? Probably not. But it's what immediately came to mind, so I said it anyway. Don't judge me. 39. Who told Tom and Corey to wear the same outfit? 40. Oh cool, a Broski Boot. This match will be over in 60 seconds or less. Kofi ended up going lower back to knee. That couldn't have been fun. And there it is, New Day wins. 41. Recap hour. 42. Live via satellite but totally obviously on a WWE set, how quaint. Hi KO. 43. He apologizes, I'm sure no bait and switch is coming whatsoever. It's like flooding the school because you saw a giant rabbit: he made me do it! 44. Meanwhile, Mojo is tired of losing. Makes you wonder why he formed a tag team with a guy who lost literally all the time. They're gonna have to do something DRASTIC! Well could beat up the boss, but that's taken. 45. I've heard about Zigglesworth and his Charlie Haas impersonator contest. I'm disappointed I missed the WARRIOR one. 46. Next up is Triple H's entrance, so he can relive traumatic memories of his Spirit Squad days. "Can I run NXT now?" HAM of the Night, right there. Wow. 47. They're chanting for CM Punk. Let's see if that's next on the list of shade thrown! Nope, it's HBK, complete with the letter reveal and everything. They're really putting effort into these. I'm sorry I've missed these, this alone is worth watching Smackdown! Ooh, a losing smile reference too! 48. Now it's the DX entrance! He really is reliving 2006 all over again, isn't he? Will he do the crotch chop, or is that not PG? 49. This crowd really wants to see DZ Punk. Saying two words for ya doesn't have quite the response it used to. The times, they are a-changin'. At least he said "couldn't care less" instead of "could care less." Thank you for that, Dolphykins. What's next week on Master Z's Theater? 50. Network shill, that's what. Make sure to use the exact same script too! That makes it feel authentic! 51. Is it gonna be the obvious answer like Jordan winning on Monday night? Let's find out! 52. Naomi comes out in her amazing technicolor dreamcoat with Delirious's mask as a headpiece. 53. Just gets started, but we better make sure we go to commercial as quick as possible. Wouldn't wanna miss someone sniffing a shirt again. 54. Better make sure Natalya is watching though. 55. Charlotte with a double moonsault. That was freaking awesome! 56. Everyone's ending up in some sort of twisted submission pretzel. Tamina has to ruin all the fun. Dammit Tamina! 57. Lana interferes and gets kicked right in the fuck. Tamina kicks Naomi. Charlotte kicks Tamina and wins. No surprise there, but still a damn fun match. Quick, quick! Cut to Natalya not reacting but staring intently! 58. It was... a show. Not quite like RAW in long and boring, but up until that, not a lot happening. I mean, two matches ended in less than a minute. That being said, it's still difficult to overcome Smackdown feeling like the "other" show. I don't know what it'll take to get it back to where it was last summer. HAM OF THE NIGHT Dolph Ziggler, of course. Can I run NXT?! 2012 - Daniel Bryan 2013 - Paul Heyman 2016 - Chris Jericho 1-2-17 - Kevin Owens 1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher 1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels 1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose 1-16-17 - Sami Zayn 1-17-17 - John Cena 1-23-17 - Xavier Woods 1-24-17 - James Ellsworth 1-30-17 - Mick Foley 1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan 2-6-17 - Goldberg 2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan 2-13-17 - Chris Jericho 2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss 2-20-17 - Lana 2-21-17 - Maryse 2-27-17 - Mick Foley 2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt 3-13-17 - Paul Heyman 3-14-17 - AJ Styles 3-20-17 - Austin Aries 3-21-17 - Mizcena 3-27-17 - Big Cass 3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena 4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists 4-2-17 - The Undertaker 4-3-17 - Chris Jericho 4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura 4-10-17 - Braun Strowman 4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura 4-17-17 - Samoa Joe 4-18-17 - Nobody 4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss 4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler 5-8-17 - The Miz 5-9-17 - The Usos 5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill 5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze 5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt 5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley 5-30-17 - Fashion Files 6-5-17 - The Miz 6-26-17 - Paul Heyman 6-27-17 - The Ascension 7-3-17 - TROOF 7-10-17 - Paul Heyman 7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus 7-18-17 - Randy Orton 7-24-17 - Kurt Angle 7-25-17- Chris Jericho 7-31-17 - Bray Wyatt 8-7-17 - Paul Heyman 8-8-17 - Arn Anderson 8-14-17 - Big Cass 8-15-17 - Breezango 8-28-17 - John Cena 9-4-17 - Braun Strowman 9-11-17 - The Miz 9-18-17 - Neville 9-19-17 - Dolph Ziggler Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. 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