Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #308 - Thoughts on SD Live - 7-25-17
By Marissa Laiman
Jul 25, 2017 - 11:00:00 PM

Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017




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My newest novel, Voice in the Dark, with contributions from Dan Arel, Noah Lugeons, Matthew O'Neil, Karen Garst, Melina Barratt, and Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, is available for pre-order and will be released on July 14, 2017. A percentage of the proceeds go to Wolves Den in Flint to help the water protectors there.








IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #308 - Thoughts on SD Live - 7-25-17

1. Starting off with Kevin Owens bragging that it's his turn at US Title Hot Potato, we get the typical heel denying that rematch clauses can be used unless they're convenient.

2, AJ comes out to respectfully disagree, and KO calls his music stupid. Now Kevin, that's taking it way too far!

3. They're interrupted by the "anyone else" of KO's proclamation, and it's Y2J, BABAY! I love how Jericho can use things that made him a heel and suddenly make them face-friendly because he's doing them at Kevin and not the crowd.

4. AJ ends up making the List for cutting in line. JBL, it's great to have you back, Jericho.

5. Shane comes out and makes it a triple threat title match for tonight. Cause sure, why not make that a Summerslam match? JBLdammit, that'd make too much sense.

6. Next, we have Shinsuke and Corbin, making the previous non-clean ending match two days ago obsolete. Sometimes I wish we'd return to four PPV events, since they clearly have no intention of booking toward so many of them. Fine, have a title match tonight, because why would you want to feature a match of those proportions on a show you want people to pay to see? That's just silly!

7. Shinsuke ends up getting a huge clean win over Baron Corbin, which I would say is much more needed for Nakamura than Corbin at this point in his career. Good match, and nice of them to show us the in-between. They won't give us the main event that way. No, that'd make sense. I bet we get an Aiden English match cutaway though. Ratings.

8. Naomi gets an interview about Natalya showing her no respect, and we're getting a version of the Spinner Belt argument for the reasons of honor and respect and such. Oh, and Carmella exists.

9. Tamina's music sounds like she should be stopping kids who don't have a full medallion to trade in from Olmec. Damn Silver Snakes and their crafty appropriated heirlooms!

10. We've got four of the five people from the match that was based on the rematch from the two MITB matches, all of which have happened in the last month. Tell me why matches get stale quickly again?

11. Someone's getting a "you can't wrestle" chant. Lana I assume?

12. The more Charlotte embraces her Flair background, the better I think. She gets the win over Lana, remaining strong in the division, and keeping something going on that isn't with the title.

13. Oh good, at least Jinder will be facing someone else for the title. I'm sure that'll make this reign better.

14. No, no, NO! Don't make me relive this shitstorm!

15. So the Indian guy auditioning for the role of narrator in the WWE production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show demands to know things, and his stepping around is robotic and unnatural, so par for the course.

16. Oh, John Cena, there's a surprise. I suppose it has been too long, and now that he gets another foreign opponent, he can continue with this weird Marine-era super patriotism thing.

17. Why was Jinder talking to the side of the ground when talking about Cena? And I'm already on Cena's side for telling him to stop moving his mouth. He offers congratulations instead of the smack talk, but at least he's out of super serial defend the flag mode... so far.

18. Who interrupts Cena's exit, but Daniel Bryan? Oh please tell me this is something better than matchmaking! I just got freaking goosebumps for a minute...

19. He's in flannel, so I doubt it means what I wish it would. No, it means that this week, superstars can't make their own matches. For fuck's sake, they're gonna give Cena/Nakamura away too?! Why even have PPVs? Those two have to fight to face Jinder fucking Mahal? I have mixed feelings about this.

20. The GM is on the phone, and KO is not thrilled, but still won't interrupt the conversation. That's nice of him.

21. Okay, who is Aiden English Curt Hawkinsing for this week? That Mike guy, so No Vacancy and their Battle of the Bands-winning team are going over the opera singer who walks on painted tape, since it tells him where he's going and where to throw his cape.

22. Ohai Tye, welcome back! Nice to know you're still around. Hadn't seen you in a while.

23. Team Face wins, though it was nice to see Aiden English get a match that wasn't a Curt Hawkins jobber showcase. Zayn and Tye are both really fun to watch, and I look forward to seeing them advance into something that can maximize their ridiculously over reactions.

24. New Day's intro starts, but they get assaulted by the Usos, so that'll probably be the Summerslam tag team title match. Given that was one of the only parts of Sunday that I didn't loathe, I'm okay with this.

25. I know that New Day was recovering, but hearing New Day chants while Shinsuke spoke was a bit unintentionally hilarious. I also know people have problems with Shinsuke's promos, but I rather enjoy them. He's got so much charisma, it's ridiculous.

26. I wonder if such a big deal match will have a countdown to Shooter reminding us just how important that is. Because, you know, guide buttons don't exist. Better kill some time by having a commercial break between entrances and the match. But whatever you do, don't let us see the match through the commercial break. We anticipate it more that way.

27. There's an Emoji movie. Clearly I just don't get it anymore...

28. It's really good to have Jericho back. I said it before, but they've made the US title a bigger deal than the WWE title. I guess that happens when you hot-shot a two-win jobber to the main event and have him give everyone verbal melatonin, and then take recent world champions and make them feud over the US title. Go figure.

29. I don't even have much to say, this is just a fantastic match. I'm enjoying the hell out of it. Just wish it was on Summerslam instead of a random Smackdown episode.

30. Wow, the crowd is INTO this match! Except for some dude who feels the need to yak on his phone while standing up. Styles tosses KO away and pins Jericho, so now the title's back to him. So the point of this hot potato title exchange is...?

31. KO starts his best Christian-WM18 impression, and grabs the mic while trying to do his best super totes angry yo face.

32. Wait, KO can invoke his rematch clause whenever he wants, but others couldn't? Within the same show? How about some rules consistency, please? Can we at least pretend it's anything more than a plot contrivance?

33. Anyway, one of the better episodes of Smackdown as of late. That's saying something, especially after the Dumpster Fire that was Battleground.


HAM OF THE NIGHT

Gotta give it to Jericho for using the "quiet!" taunt in a new way.

2012 - Daniel Bryan
2013 - Paul Heyman
2016 - Chris Jericho
1-2-17 - Kevin Owens
1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher
1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels
1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose
1-16-17 - Sami Zayn
1-17-17 - John Cena
1-23-17 - Xavier Woods
1-24-17 - James Ellsworth
1-30-17 - Mick Foley
1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-6-17 - Goldberg
2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-13-17 - Chris Jericho
2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss
2-20-17 - Lana
2-21-17 - Maryse
2-27-17 - Mick Foley
2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt
3-13-17 - Paul Heyman
3-14-17 - AJ Styles
3-20-17 - Austin Aries
3-21-17 - Mizcena
3-27-17 - Big Cass
3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena
4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists
4-2-17 - The Undertaker
4-3-17 - Chris Jericho
4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-10-17 - Braun Strowman
4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-17-17 - Samoa Joe
4-18-17 - Nobody
4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss
4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler
5-8-17 - The Miz
5-9-17 - The Usos
5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill
5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze
5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt
5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley
5-30-17 - Fashion Files
6-5-17 - The Miz
6-26-17 - Paul Heyman
6-27-17 - The Ascension
7-3-17 - TROOF
7-10-17 - Paul Heyman
7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus
7-18-17 - Randy Orton
7-24-17 - Kurt Angle
7-25-17- Chris Jericho

Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved. For media or inquiries, please contact [email protected].