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LAIMAN'S LINKS Marissa's Blog Support In Laiman's Terms on Patreon Marissa’s podcast Inciting Incident Facebook Page DaWrestlingGuy.com Twitter - @RisMcCool Email - [email protected] Order The PC Lie Order False Start: The new novel by Marissa Or at http://www.wyrmwoodpublishing.com/books/ Also, my third published work is out, so check it out! Order: Silent Dreams IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #297 - Twenty Years Apologies for not doing a Tuesday column on Smackdown, and no it wasn't a protest against Jinder Mahal celebrating a world title win. Well, not entirely. But in watching yet another WhatCulture WWE video with my morning cereal, I couldn't help but start reflecting on the fact that it's coming up on 20 years since I got into pro wrestling. Which, by proxy, means it's coming up on 20 years since Kane debuted and immediately became my favorite wrestler. Yes, my first wrestling show was Badd Blood '97. With that, and my 300th column on the horizon, I thought it would be fun to think of 20 great wrestling memories from over my time as a fan. As the product leaves me more often than not confused, I'd like to find some positivity in writing this column, even if it's rose-colored nostalgia at its best. Please do feel free to share some of your favorites in the comments as well. 1. Climb the Ladder, Kid! Make Yourself Famous! I often refer to this match as the one that made me completely forget that wrestling wasn't real. Not to mention, that Taker wasn't booked in a triple threat on PPV a few days later. Jim Ross forever cemented himself in my memory with his genuine passion of telling the story of a young kid going up against a giant badass that wanted to wipe the floor with him, and for the most part, he did. But so many times, Jeff got so unbelievably close that me, my sister, and probably many others, lost ourselves in the moment and were just... fans. Those moments are so rare anymore, and I really miss them. 2. Thumbs Down! It was a snowy evening in State College, PA, and I recently found the picture I took immediately after Batista powerbombed Triple H through the table that revealed even the lower bowl was mostly empty. You never would've known it from the crowd reaction when so many of us at the time got what we'd been begging for... Batista to pull the switch on Triple H, launching his face run that led him to world championships and being Dax eventually. Say what you want about Big Dave, but the thumbs up turning downward stands out in my mind as if a million people were in the Bryce Jordan Center with us. I was in the sixth row in the lower bowl, right at ring level, and I'll never forget it. 3. Now the Winner of Super Indy VI! I've made no secret about my friendship and admiration for "Sweet and Sour" Larry Sweeney, both as a person and a performer. In the promotion of the International Wrestling Cartel, they held (or maybe still hold, I have no idea), a King of the Ring-like one-day event called the Super Indy, and it's bigger than the world title is in that promotion. The finals saw Larry Sweeney, fresh off a face turn that nobody really saw coming, getting the surprise pin over young hotshot Shiima Xion. It's actually on camera if you watch the match; you can see me (overcompensating desperately to try not to be feminine), Chris, and our whole row of friends leap into the air in joy when the pinfall was counted. The IWC camera guys had us stand in the background as he delivered his victory promo, and of all the memories we had with him, this one was one of the sweetest from watching someone we loved wrestle in person. I still miss the guy so much, even six years later. Never forget to let those who matter to you know that they do. 4. Danny Doring Goes Off-Script and Gets Over Afterward Back before I even knew what indy wrestling was, I attended a show in Red Lion, PA with my friend Chris. I didn't know anything about ECW at the time, but there was a guy on the card named Danny Doring. I've told this story before, and Doring himself actually emailed me about it once upon a time, but even though he was a heel that night, he ended up with the biggest pop of the evening. At ringside, someone pelted him with a water bottle, and he got back in the ring and broke kayfabe by expressing his passion for the wrestling business and how he did not deserve to be treated like that. It transcended the show and wrestling itself by allowing someone with such clear and present passion to assert how much the business meant to him, and nobody in that arena wasn't captivated by it. 5. He's Walking Right Into the Mouth of Hell! When I was in junior high school, I was not allowed to stay up past ten. This created a problem for someone like me who wanted to see RAW every night because at that point, everyone in school was talking about it. It's the only time wrestling was so ubiquitous in my life, to the point that when I discovered what Smackdown spoilers were, I was the coolest kid in 8th grade for telling people what was going to happen that night. But, as previously stated, I was a tremendous Kane fan, and everyone knew it. I wore my Kane shirts weekly, and I always identified so strongly with someone who felt like they had to hide under a mask. Can't imagine why that was... Anyway, in one of the most memorable matches of the Attitude Era, DX and the Radicalz took on The Rock, Cactus Jack, and Too Cool with Rikishi. It was a melee, it was insanity, and when the Factgime won, they laid a beatdown on all the faces. Then, the lights went out, and Paul Bearer walked out to one of the biggest pops I can ever remember hearing on TV. Following him was a new-look Kane, who walked right into the ring with eight-plus people in it, and destroyed anything that moved. I still pull up that clip on YouTube to relive it, even though I didn't witness it live. As previously stated, I wasn't allowed to stay up, so I put in a tape to get the second hour of RAW, back when that was something worth seeing. The tape cut off right as the lights went out, and I remember wondering for days if it had been Kane. Nobody told me. Only in the replay next week on RAW did I see it, and become immensely grateful for the moments libraries many WWE fans have posted over the years on YouTube. To me, Kane always had the best surprise returns, but this was the best of the best of them. 6. The Invasion... Before Things Went Bad While most people try to forget that the Invasion ever existed, it's hard to forget the potential it had to be amazing, even with so many stars missing. Ingrained in my memory are both Bradshaw and Taker addressing the locker room about the serious threat and the necessity to fight for their lives and careers. The way it felt like such a big deal for the first few weeks just makes many of us lament how it turned out, and the atmosphere for that Invasion PPV was surreal. Oh, what could've been. "There ain't no shame in going out there and getting your ass kicked," I remember Taker saying specifically. It was a human moment for the Deadman, who so often relied on his zombie state and dramatic sit-ups to drive the emotion forward. I kind of liked the atmosphere of the stars having some kind of hierarchy and respect for one another. Who knew that was pretty accurate of the actual backstage locker room hierarchy, right? 7. YES! Wrestlemania XXX is bittersweet at best for me, as it signaled the last time I would ever see my last girlfriend before I got married to Aiden, and the moment of awesome was somewhat contrasted with the shock of the Undertaker losing the WrestleMania streak. But this is one that hindsight has been kind to, and it had as much to do with Daniel Bryan's special moment, that we now realize was going to be very short-lived, as it did with Connor the Crusher. If you don't know who that is, you haven't been brought to tears by a small child with the biggest heart you've ever seen, and I'll save you the details lest I remind you of that. Point is, in retrospect, knowing that Bryan's career wouldn't last much longer, and knowing that he had that moment in front of Connor, it's aged better because of the unfortunate circumstances surrounding it and their immediate aftermath. 8. "Suck It! Remember how I was saying that for a short time, wrestling was THE thing in my school? Well we had field day in school, don't know how many of you had that close to the end of the year, where our grade divided into its teams. Our school was so huge that it was divided into color divisions: RB, GO, and AT (red and blue, green and orange, and aqua and teal.) AT was split among RB and GO for field day, because who needed a triple threat match with no disqualifications for field day? Singles match, standard rules applied. I was in RB all three years, but one in particular I remember due to its wrestling connection. Team RB was awaiting their arch-nemesis on the bleachers in the gym, and when GO made their entrance, the ENTIRE TEAM started standing up and chanting "Suck It!" Suck It!" Suck It!" As a perpetual societal outcast in school, it was nice to feel a part of something instead of being on the outside looking in. Those moments were rare for me in those years. 9. Phenomenal When I was 20, I got my first gig for a wrestling show: driving one of them back to the airport afterward. Because of this, we got to hang out in the locker room for most of the show, and in this locker room were AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Chris Sabin, the latter with whom we spent a drive to Baltimore getting to know. Seeing AJ Styles in person was a huge deal, as at the time, he was the go-to icon for anyone who was sick of WWE forcefeeding John Cena to everyone. Daniels was outgoing and sarcastic, Sabin was chill and mellow, but Styles was just so... stoic and polite. At least until my friend asked to take a picture of him putting on oil, which would've gotten his camera broken had he done it. Body oil is serious business. 10. And here is your winner! I only won two matches as a wrestler, and that's two more than I deserved to win. This one in particular was pretty much a "thank you for showing up every month, not getting paid, and working your ass off" reward more than it was the sign of good things to actually come. I had a singles match against a new kid named Jimmy, who ended up becoming a champion of IWC and a guest-spot Rosebud when that was a thing. But this time, we had a quick match that we practiced fourteen times in front of the entire roster, with SJK (Corey Graves) helping us construct the match move by move, and by ring psychology. By the time we had the actual match in the ring for the show, we'd gone over it so many times that it was second nature to us both. I hit the finisher I'd developed by messing around with him during ring time the previous month, got the pinfall the only time in my career, and had my hand raised. As I walked to the back, four of my friends/stablemates came out from the back to congratulate and hug me. It was a moment where I was supposed to remain cold and emotionless, and instead held back the tears for what those friends meant to me. 11. Real American In the 2000s, if you didn't want to drop a few Jacksons on a Pay-Per-View, you could give yourself gutrot and a neckache by going to Hooters and watching there for free while dealing with undercooked chicken wings and a staff who hated you more than anything. The only one that truly stands out in retrospect for me was WrestleMania XXI, where everyone in the place was there to watch, standing room only even. Eugene was getting beaten up by Hassan, and I know I've referred to this many times over the years, but when "Real American" hit and Hulk Hogan came out, everyone forgot where they were and what they were watching and erupted in a pop that reminded us that we could all just be fans seeing the good guy come to avenge someone again. Being in a live wrestling crowd has its perks, but when a restaurant gets so caught up that they react as if they were there, it's nearly as awesome. Rare, but awesome nonetheless. Hogan's return at that WrestleMania elicited such a reaction from the internet snarks that we almost forgot we were supposed to hate him for a little while. Also see: Cena's surprise return at the Royal Rumble a few years later. 12. Man, it seems like he really doesn't want to be here The first WWE wrestler I ever met was Al Snow, who was headlining a show in the same building as the aforementioned Doring story, though for the love of me, I can't remember the promotion name or what year it was. All I know is that we got our pictures and autographs with Al, and he looked as if he wanted to be literally anywhere else. I felt bad about it, like we'd bothered him, and for a while after that, I didn't approach any wrestlers at all when I saw them because I didn't want them to be annoyed with me. Likely, he was either just having a bad night, or he realized he had to work in Red Lion, PA, which looking back on it, would depress the shit out of anyone. 13. Who is that coming out while we're zoomed in on Roman's face? After a hiatus from wrestling, minus the YouTube clips I've talked about, I was wanting to get back into column-writing here on LOP, and the Royal Rumble 2016 was my first show in months. Though it took until after WrestleMania to officially get activated, due to some miscommunications, I tuned into the Rumble hoping to be fresh-minded and completely non-cynical. Though I was for a majority of the show, when I saw the guy who I'd hung out with and be super serious about his body oil ten years prior come out with his classic pose in the Royal Rumble, I absolutely lost my shit. AJ Styles was in the fucking WWE? Holy shit! It never wore off. Now that Joe, Gargano, and some of those other guys I hung around a lot are there, it gives a different reflection dynamic to watching the current product. It's so cool that the guys I watched in the Court Time Sports Center are now literally main-eventing Monday Night RAW. 14. Can you please give us some water? In 2006, I attended a SuperShow in Philadelphia with my sister-in-law Becky. She wasn't my sister-in-law then, but I always called her my sister, and now she is legally my sister-in-law. Funny how life can foreshadow things like that sometimes. We got there super early, lest we be left out in getting to our seats and listening to an hour of "woo!" from the crowd circulate like the wave. This was Philly in July though, and standing out in the sun was absolutely brutal that day. We ended up walking to the first nearby restaurant we could find and begging the staff to let us use the bathroom and to get some ice water. It was the last time I truly got to hang out with my sister before she moved to North Carolina, and it was a weekend trip we'd never forget. I barely remember what happened at the shows, except for Batista returning to punch Mark Henry right in the fuck, and Edge winning the WWE title from RVD and Cena in a triple threat, but how often are memories more about who you were with than what happened while you were there? This is a classic example. 15. Hey guys, Virgil is here It was a training session early in my time as a rookie wannabe wrestler, and Honky Tonk Man had brought Virgil to the show with him. We were practicing arm drags, and Virgil got in the ring and told us a twenty-minute story about wrestling in New Orleans. By the time he was done, the training session was over, and most of us were wondering what had just happened. I've never piled on Virgil as many on the internet have, but that was a strange experience for anyone. It was also the worst ring I'd ever wrestled in, as I got bruised simply by practicing a flip bump a few times. The "padding" between the plywood and the apron looked like it was borrowed from someone's garage insulation, and to say it wasn't evenly spread was to call Smackdown's booking decisions recently "questionable." But still, a former WWE wrestler got in the ring and told us rookies stories, so that counts for something... right? 16. The Deadman creates living memories Some will remember this as my coming out column, or the one that made them hate me depending on your stance, but if you recall, there was more to that column than me coming out publicly in the last content forum left on my list. Five months later, I have no regrets, and 99 percent of the time, nobody here bothers me about it, though a few like to comment on my blog here and there. But if you don't remember what the column was really about, a friend of mine was doing the best to live out the bucket list of her late husband, who had passed away from cancer a few months earlier. I took them to RAW because that was on the list, and so was getting to see the Undertaker, but none of us were expecting that. That is, until Lesnar and Goldberg were in the ring, and the lights went out, and there he stood. Now, that wasn't only one of his likely last appearances as the Undertaker, but the screams and delight I heard beside me will live on far longer than any negative consequences I've had about coming out as I truly am. Tabitha telling me that it was one of the greatest moments in her life, especially because of the context, far outweighs anything negative anyone could possibly say to me. I'll always have that, long after I've moved on from wrestling itself. 17. Is that Mick Foley with a shaved head? In eighth grade, my roommate Brian and I went to HersheyPark twice in three days. Once on a Saturday to see Mick Foley give a live Q&A, and on Monday with our class for a "leaving middle school" field trip. Having read Foley is Good, I now have heard the story from his side, as he shaved his head after that appearance, but we found out shortly thereafter because we ended up on bumper cars with him and... I assume Dewey. We didn't bother him, partially because of that anxiety I had from meeting Al that I mentioned, but we still can say that we went on bumper cars with Mick Foley. That gives that crash sound in his entrance music a whole new meaning. 18. But the emails... One of the best things about writing for this site is the people I've gotten to meet over the years. Some I've gone to baseball games with, some have written me letters and sent me gifts, but some of the best interactions have taken place in my inbox. Particularly after my column entitled "Don't Quit" a few years back, the people who have attributed such positive things to me bitching about pretendy fun time wrestling while making pop culture references, it's humbling as much as it is confusing. I have my detractors and people who like to troll me about various things, but it's so neat to know that you've reached out to someone over the internet who you've never met or possibly even spoken to. Above the emails from fans and people who would become friends are the ones who reached out about very personal things that I'll never tell anyone. It's the strongest driving force for me to always at least try to get columns out on time, because I don't want to not be there if certain people are counting on that for a return to consistency or an escape from what they're dealing with in life. I can relate, as wrestling was always my escape in my unstable childhood, but it doesn't take away from what it means to me. This job has afforded me some of the best and most emotional moments of my life, and I've come out of it with friends and contacts I'd have never made otherwise. Sometimes as I've said, even the wrestlers themselves send me messages, and even after hanging out with a bunch of them for a while in my 20s, I never stop being a mark when one of them talks to me directly. It reminds me of the feeling that wrestling was once able to give me when it was just something to look forward to in order to forget about life for a while (cue Billy Joel harmonica.) That's why I write this column. That's why I write about wrestling, even though it means a fraction of what it once did to me. It means something to a few select people out there beyond sharing in sarcastic misery about the direction certain storylines take; it matters on a personal level. And even if they were the only ones who read it, I'd still try to get columns out for them. 19. Tito knows who I am?! The first time I learned what a wrestling column was, it was the Wrath of Tito in the late 90s. Until then, I didn't know people went on the internet to talk about wrestling, and here was this guy live blogging about it! I remember he would say "duuuuuude" any time RVD was involved, or "Lemme Holla at Ya, Playa!" whenever Teddy Long was on. Tito was a weekly must-read for me, and still is. The difference now is that he and I have collaborated several times on columns, and we also had a long conversation once he put the pieces together about my name change. Over Twitter that night, the guy I'd read while aspiring to do something similar over a decade prior was standing up for me and showing support in a way that I'd never expected anyone to do. Some of you dog on him, but he will always mean a lot to me. Or, if you hate me, blame Tito, because without him, this column probably wouldn't exist! See, something for everyone. 20. I can't wait to see what happens next! This is probably what I miss about wrestling in my youth more than anything: Wanting to see where things go beyond morbid curiosity. Wrestling as its best can be unpredictable, captivating, enthralling, and escapist entertainment at its finest. At its worse, it can be a chore, annoyance, and frustrating, but it's something that still binds all of us into a patchwork quilt of fandom, and every single one of you has an individual story of how and why, just as I do. Some of my favorite stories as a wrestling columnist are when people simply share why they got into wrestling, because in order to do that, you've established not only a common interest in wrestling, but an empathetic voice that others feel they can tell about their lives. While that sounds like a repeat of 18, it's really not. I know that missing the days where "climb the ladder, kid! Make yourself famous!" was something that made me forget about everything else that was going on and entirely captured my interest and imagination, for someone else it could be as recent as seeing Sami Zayn wrestle in person or the Hardyz returning at WrestleMania to momentarily spark their childhood nostalgia. Wrestling is so unique in its ability to give something for everyone, and as many people as there are watching are how many different stories of how they came to it, stuck with it, expressed their interest, and shared it with others. I know few wrestling fans who see it as a solitary experience. It's getting to hang out with your friends, your family taking you to an event, living a dream of your late husband, relating to someone while you're deployed overseas, finding that silly YouTube show an extension of a personality that you already know, or sending a letter to an inbox of someone to whom you've never spoken and telling them that they too are both a wrestling fan and an LGBT person, and that it really meant a lot to them to read that. Shit, unless you're here to hateread, which is entirely your right I do not deny, something about something I've said at some point has made us connected through the art and business of professional wrestling, and we would've never had that contact without both professional wrestling and this venue to which I can release my thoughts to thousands of people who come back every week to read what I have to say about it. Even if it was only five or ten, it's still amazing to me that we have that in common, and that you want to read what I have to say about it. I can't think of many other entertainment venues that are that interactive and relatable. I will always love wrestling for its ability to bring us together like that, regardless of how long I write this column. In a short while, I'll post my 300th piece, and while that's probably less than a quarter of the amount that someone like Tito, DaveyBoy, or Hustle posted when I was just a reader, I still get to be in the same space that they did, and I think that's super fucking neat. Thanks everyone. I hope you enjoy your weekend, and I'll see you on Monday. This week, from May 31st to June 3rd, I'll be in Salt Lake City, June 4th I'm giving a speech at an event in Allentown, and now, July 7th through the 9th, I'll be in Seattle and Oregon respectively. On June 7th, I will officially at least partially live in St. Paul, Minnesota, and I have an upcoming event in Flint, Michigan, dates TBD. Plus, my 100th episode of Inciting Incident is on July 14th, and if you want to come hang out and meet former NFL star Chris Kluwe as well as some amazing podcasters and people, be sure to check it out here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1221281897948394/ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-inciting-incident-podcasts-100th-episode-live-tickets-31754100369 Always feel free to reach out to me, whether it be through email or friending me on Facebook. I try to respond to everything I can, unless it's trolling or general unnecessary douchebaggery, but those are the extreme minority of contacts. Thank you, all of you, for what you've meant to me in the six years I've been writing here, as well as my twenty years of being a wrestling fan. See you for RAW.
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