Posted in: Doctor's Orders
Doctor's Orders: The Road to WrestleMania Countdown (#207 - #232)
By The Doc
Jan 3, 2015 - 9:59:23 AM



Welcome back to the Road to WrestleMania 31. Hundreds of men and women have performed on the grandest stage over the course of its rich history. For the next few months, we will celebrate them all…from worst to best. As we get closer to the Top 200, I thought I'd be more specific about the criterion. This was certainly not a WrestleMania Era-type exercise in analytics. Instead, it was a hodgepodge of numerous statistics that I set out to be a purely enjoyable rewind through Mania lore. I wrote this series in a coffee shop once a month since last April reviewing my Master List of all eligible participants. Wrestlers and personalities were ranked by number of appearances, quality of appearances, memorability of appearances, title wins, title matches, pre-match hype in some cases, match quality, and the like. No one factor, particularly at this stage of the rankings, was more important than another.

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Snowman is a genius



QUESTION OF THE DAY (6): What do you feel was the worst booked WrestleMania of all-time, both in terms of build-up and execution on the night of?


232. (Tie) Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel
230. (Tie) Maryse and Gail Kim
228. Dory Funk
227. Sapphire
226. Perry Saturn
225. The Texas Tornado
224. Pierre
223. Maven
222. Chuck Palumbo
221. The Mean Street Posse
220. (Tie) Wade Barrett and Big E
218. Zack Ryder
217. Paul Roma
216. Mabel / Viscera
215. The Blu Brothers / Skull and 8-Ball
214. Dean Malenko
213. Terri Runnels
212. Brother Love
211. Chris Masters
210. Akebono
209. Christy Hemme
208. Shannon Moore
207. (Tie) Alicia Fox and Natalya


Day 6: What Are You Doing Here, Dean?


218. Zack Ryder



Woo Woo Woo, you knew that Ryder hadn’t done diddly squat in his WrestleMania career, but appear in the forgettable battle between General Managers in 2012 and the WrestleMania XXX Battle Royal. All the while, he still managed to be sitting here on Day 6 of the Countdown because those two modest honors still give him a better resume than those of a lot of other wrestlers. I’m serious, bro! I suppose we shouldn’t forget that he also took some offense from Undertaker in the main-event at WrestleMania XXIV in an attempt to help Edge’s bid at retaining the World Heavyweight Championship. I still think that Ryder can be a good utility guy. He’s very athletic.

217. Paul Roma



The most significant accomplishment in Roma’s career was being perhaps the least famous wrestler to ever be included in The Four Horsemen. If you ask Ric Flair, he’d likely tell you that Roma had as much business styling and profiling with the prolific group as my gym socks. Roma, at WrestleMania, did two things of note. First, he was a member of The Power and Glory tag team that gave “The Show of Shows” its first taste of The Road Warriors/Legion of Doom. Prior to that, he was one of the final four participants in the WrestleMania IV Battle Royal. Frankly, Roma could very well be viewed as the 1980s version of the “Create-a-Wrestler” prototype – well built, tanned, average looks, and average skills.

216. Mabel / Viscera



When Mabel came to the WWE in the early to mid-1990s, he was sort of like the last dinosaur as the prehistoric era was coming to an end. He was a mammoth wrestler during a period where the business was moving away from guys of his size. Consequently, it allowed him to make a considerable impact. He won the 1995 King of the Ring tournament and main-evented Summerslam that year in the highlight of his career. At WrestleMania, he was involved in just two occurrences, the first a victory but ultimately unsuccessful bid to win the Tag Team Championships as one half of Men on a Mission and the second a reasonably successful Hardcore Championship Battle Royal appearance in 2000 that saw him briefly capture the tainted gold.

215. The Blu Brothers / Skull and 8-Ball



Remember these guys? Their inauspicious careers in WWE began with a silly name and a manager that would be quite familiar to the modern audience – Uncle Zebekiah, now known as the smooth talking Zeb Colter. They lost to Lex Luger and British Bulldog in the opening match at WrestleMania XI before quickly falling into obscurity. Later in the 1990s, they resurfaced as biker gang members, Skull and 8-Ball of Crush’s Disciples of Apocalypse. It was their victory over such historically relevant stars that earned them their place on this list. Their DOA appearance in Mania XIV’s Tag Team Battle Royal was quite forgettable, as they were one of the first teams eliminated.

214. Dean Malenko



Malenko was a fantastic wrestler who thrived in both WCW and ECW before coming to WWE alongside Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, and Perry Saturn as The Radicalz in early 2000. They made their presence known and Malenko offered his share of in-ring expertise to begin his WWE stint. Unfortunately, he was reaching the end of his career. He temporarily revitalized the WWE Light Heavyweight Championship division, but he did very little in WWE, overall. His lone Mania appearance, though, was memorable for its era because of the impact that his group had on WCW. When he and his fellow Radicalz joined WWE, it crippled the competition. Great wrestling had been one of the few things keeping interest in WCW afloat. The Radicalz competed at Mania 2000 to give Dean his only match at “The Showcase.” A year later, he helped Guerrero win the European Championship.

213. Terri Runnels



I’m not going to lie…Terri left an impression on a young Doc. WrestleMania 13 was the first live broadcast of Mania that I had watched since Mania IX. When she accompanied Goldust to the ring for his matches, I was always enthralled. I was a young teenager back then, so you can guess what drew me to her. I developed an attachment. At Mania 13, she was thrust into the strong arms of the beastly Chyna, who tossed her around like a rag doll in one of those moments that stands out most to me when I think about the 8th Wonder of the World. That was my fondest memory of Terri’s career. Her actual top accolade was “wrestling” The Kat at Mania 2000. Because both were so inclined to show off their assets, it was a major undercard happening.

212. Brother Love



My mother would get quite a kick out of this if she was reading it, as she found Brother Love’s signature catchphrase, “I LOVVVVVVE YUUUUUU” to be pretty amusing and still occasionally mocks it to this day (though I wonder if she’s forgotten why she references it). Managers and personalities, of course, qualify for the list if they’ve competed in a match. In Brother Love’s case, he earns his stripes from being a participant in the Gimmick Battle Royal at Mania X-Seven. That being stated, he also had a prominent role at Mania V, when he impersonated Roddy Piper in what eventually became a segment featuring the Hot Scot. For just being so memorable alone, I vaulted him ahead of other worthy candidates.

211. Chris Masters



“The Masterpiece” is similar to Wade Barrett in that he benefits greatly from the fact that his accomplishments stand out to me due to their occurring in my adult life, when I seem to have best retained the data on each roster member as a column writer about WWE programming. Masters, if I recall correctly, was hyped similar to how Rusev was last year – he did not debut until after Mania, but his vignettes made it clear that he was going to be a force to be reckoned with in the post-Mania season. A year later, he was in the opening match at the very first WrestleMania that I ever attended in person. Alongside Carlito, he unsuccessfully challenged Kane and Big Show for the Tag Team Championships. Steroids literally derailed his career.

210. Akebono



I’m sure that some of you are wondering how a one-time Mania participant who competed in arguably the worst Mania match of all-time could wind up this high on the list. Here’s the reason: international PPV buys were becoming a more important piece of the WWE’s financial puzzle with each passing year by 2005. Akebono was brought in for the sole purpose of attempting to create a buzz overseas…and it worked. International buys were a key cog in Mania 21 being one of the most financially successful of the first 21 Manias. Yes, his match with Show was atrocious and the antithesis of aesthetically pleasing, but it served its purpose…as did Akebono.

209. Christy Hemme



On the same WrestleMania, Christy challenged for the Women’s Championship and was serviceable enough to be carried by the vastly superior Trish Stratus. For several years in a row, Mania prominently featured a Playboy cover girl from WWE. Hemme was the second of the lot. Though she was a rookie, she seemed to have the drive at the time. She parlayed posing nude into a respectable performance at “The Show of Shows” during the golden age of women’s wrestling in WWE – no small feat, frankly. She did well enough that the trend of Playboy models competing at Manias continued for another couple of years. I’m not sure if we should thank her or boo her out of the figurative building.

208. Shannon Moore



The little M-F’er – the Mattitude Follower – made it onto the list at a reasonably high position. Good for him. I liked Shannon Moore. He was talented, albeit a little unconventional. At Mania XIX, he was an outstanding bit player in a high octane opening contest for the Cruiserweight Championship between Rey Mysterio and the greatest incarnation of Matt Hardy that there ever was. I once named my LOP handle, “Chad Matthews, Version 1” in tribute to the elder Hardy’s character work in 2002/2003. It was Hardy’s mid-card excellence, combined with Moore’s role thoroughly entertaining sidekick schtick, which led me to ranking Shannon this highly. Moore also competed in the Cruiserweight Open a year later at Mania XX.

207. (Tie) Alicia Fox and Natalya



Honestly, it has been difficult to rank many of the females. Alicia, for instance, has been a non-factor in her Mania career, but the numbers game has worked in her favor. If you are choosing between a person who had one or two Mania appearances that left a minimal (if any) impression and a person who had three Mania appearances that left an equal impression, you’ve got to go with the person with more appearances, right? That’s Fox to a “T.” She hasn’t done anything but compete in a ten Diva tag match, the Fatal Fourteen-way last year, and the Mania 25 Battle Royal. But that’s three appearances. Natalya has made an equal number of appearances, replacing the ten Diva match at Mania XXVI with her secondary role in the Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon situation at the same event.


Day 5: Limited Appearances and Limited Impact, but Oh So Much Fun to Review


232. (Tie) Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel



Recent years in WWE have seen many a promising upstart make a splash on TV and show potential for upward mobility, only to come crashing down hard. Of the young talents who fall into that category, Justin Gabriel is one that I honestly thought had it knocked when he reached his peak. His high flying skills and 450 splash were so well highlighted during his run with The Nexus. He was presented as a dangerous entity – one of the most dangerous of the original group. When he left the Nexus to join Wade Barrett’s short-lived Corre, he began a downward slope that has never ended. He was in an 8-man tag with The Corre in 2011’s Mania 27 and in Mania 30’s Battle Royal, but the South African import has achieved very little since 2010. Health Slater has had more success on TV, but no more than Gabriel at WrestleMania. He’s about where I expected him to be.

230. (Tie) Maryse and Gail Kim



Despite being one of the most beautiful women, in my opinion, to have ever been involved in WWE, Maryse never could find her footing with any kind of consistency. That’s probably for the best. She is far too attractive to put her body at risk as a pro wrestler for longer than she did. Gail Kim, despite being one of the most talented in-ring performing Divas to ever step foot in a WWE squared circle, could never find her footing either. Both were involved in the same two matches at Mania – their only appearances. The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania “Miss WrestleMania” Battle Royal and the ten-woman tag at WrestleMania XXVI were the extent of their respective Mania contributions.

228. Dory Funk



Let’s be honest…much like the Mania Countdown that I did back in 2012 that ranked every match in WrestleMania history, this current Countdown will feature a ton of variability on the list for the first several days. There are so many talents that have competed at WrestleMania and the ones that have had less success are a smorgasbord of underachievers, never achievers, wrong place at the wrong timers, and the like. Dory Funk is one of the most famous names in wrestling history. He was a former NWA Champion and a WWE Hall of Famer. He had just one appearance at Mania, combining with his brother, Terry, for a before-its-time tag match that featured a table spot long before such things became even remotely commonplace. Yet, Dory could just as easily have been listed on Day 2 as Day 5.

227. Sapphire



Oh, that Sweet Sapphire! Ain’t nobody ever been in this business like that Sweet Sapphire! Imagine Dusty Rhodes saying that in 1990 and tell me you don’t laugh out loud. Sweet Sapphire clocks in at #237 because she was one half of one of the marquee matches at WrestleMania VI, teaming with The American Dream for a mixed tag bout against Macho Man and Sensational Sherri. In reality, she was no wrestler at all. She was just a fan. She was not marketable in the least, but her presence alongside Rhodes fit the general theme of poking fun at Dusty that seemed to amuse Vince McMahon back in those days.

226. Perry Saturn



God Bless Perry Saturn. I was a fan of his work in WCW, when he was the central figure opposite Raven in the storyline that disbanded The Flock. He had some really good matches in 1998. When he debuted in WWE with The Radicalz (Benoit, Guerrero, and Malenko), he was in very good company. Unfortunately, he never clicked. He eventually got saddled with the Moppy gimmick (he carried around a mop as his girlfriend – cheers to that era!). His Mania resume included a Mania 2000 six man tag victory and an assist in Eddie winning the European title from Test at Mania X-Seven.

225. The Texas Tornado



Here lies yet another Hall of Famer who never did much in WWE and, sadly, here lies yet another deceased wrestler on the list. Kerry Von Erich was an NWA World Heavyweight Champion and one of the top babyfaces of the 1980s. His look and his pedigree were virtually unmatched when he came through the ranks in Dallas, Texas, where his dad ran World Class Championship Wrestling. WWE was just a different beast back then. They were taking over. Developing someone else’s homegrown talent was very low on the priority list once they got their ball rolling. By the time Von Erich became The Texas Tornado – looking like a poor man’s Ultimate Warrior – the WWE machine was well-oiled and had little need to take the time grooming a troubled young man like Kerry. A relative squash of Dino Brave at Mania VII was the extent of his Mania resume. He gets a little boost from his post-humus HOF induction.

224. Pierre



Once asked to name the most underrated match of the 1990s, one of the first matches that came to mind was the bout between Bret Hart and Jean Pierre Lafitte at In Your House in September 1995. That was quite a match involving one of the all-time greats and a guy about as memorable as my left shoe. Pierre is one of those guys that I kept seeing on the “Master List” (of all of Mania’s grapplers) and deciding not to put down, yet. Well, he’s been skipped long enough. He was a member of the Quebecers when they entered WrestleMania X as the WWE Tag Team Champions (and retained). Holding a prestigious title (though the tag belts were beginning their decline during that era) into and through a WrestleMania is one of those little details that helps rank and file the less successful.

223. Maven



Speaking of holding a title equating to a boost up the list, that is exactly the reason why Maven’s Hardcore Championship defense – then loss and then win – at WrestleMania X-8 put the original Tough Enough winner in his current position. I liked Maven, personally. Once upon a time, I took a lot of flak from LOP Forum regulars when I joined in 2002 championing his efforts. I had developed a connection with Maven through the MTV reality show and wanted to see him succeed. You could say that I had “Maven blinders.” He remains the only superstar in WWE history to walk into Mania with a championship, retain the championship, lose the championship, and regain (and leave with) the championship all in the same night.

222. Chuck Palumbo



Billy and Chuck were an…interesting…duo in the WWE. It’s amazing to see how much the times have changed since 2002. Back then, the homosexual community was still scratching and clawing its way into mainstream acceptance. The WWE had a few stereotypes during that period to capitalize on what I can best describe to those of you who were too young to understand how it was in those days as the “gay controversy.” Rico was a good example – the gay stylist portrayed by the former Las Vegas cop who was originally the manager for Billy and Chuck. For much of 2002, the WWE prominently featured such stereotypical “gay men” on TV, culminating in the infamous “wedding” on Smackdown in September 2002. As for Mania, Palumbo and Billy Gunn retained the Tag Team Championships at Mania X-8 that year.

221. The Mean Street Posse



Shane McMahon’s “childhood friends” (two of them actually were) helped him retain the European Championship at WrestleMania XV, antagonizing X-Pac in the build-up and sitting at ringside to further their group advantage at the big event. I commend them for, much like Shane, being good enough at their jobs that they contributed to the most successful era in sports entertainment history. They weren’t overly memorable, but they had a shelf life of longer than one year, which is more than some of the folks on this list can say. They also competed in the Hardcore Championship Battle Royal at WrestleMania 2000, each of them individually winning the title, briefly, during the confusing match concept.

220. (Tie) Wade Barrett and Big E



It almost seems funny to be writing about Barrett this early after realizing that his lone involvement to an actual WrestleMania card has been a 90-second appearance in a lightning quick turd of a match at WrestleMania XXVII when he was the leader of The Corre. He has benefitted from present time consciousness, however. I can readily recall that Barrett was doing quite well right around the time of Mania XXX in his Bad News gimmick, contributing to the memory of the Hall of Fame ceremony with one of his “glass is half empty” promos, and that he had an advertised match for WrestleMania 29 defending his Intercontinental Championship against The Miz, only for the bout to be bumped to the pre-show. I remember those things, unlike potentially similar things offered up by his peers who have not been relevant for 20 years. So, I guess that’s some good news. I put Big E on a similar plane. He has had two appearances at Mania, but neither was as high profile of Barrett’s. Dolph Ziggler and AJ were the focal points at Mania 29, with Big E merely a bit player against Team Hell No at Mania 29. He was also in last year’s Battle Royal.