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1 Hulk Hogan “Real American” defeated 4 Triple H “Time to Play the Game” (18 votes to 8 votes) Leonard: REAL AMERICAN – As I’ve said many times, there is no doubt that this is the quintessential professional wrestling theme song. Though if recognition were the only factor of a good theme song we wouldn’t even be having this “conversation.” This, as wrestling themes should be, is a case of the star making the theme so memorable and well-known. The Rick Derringer original, while catchy, does leave a lot to be desired aesthetically. It’s a very stereotypical “arena rock”-type song, and it’s relatively simple backgrounds and singing aren’t very flashy. But it cannot be denied that this could get a crowd pumped up, and that it fit the Hulkamania character quite soundly. TIME TO PLAY THE GAME – Motorhead isn’t my favorite group, by far, but I can’t help to think that Jim Johnston’s collaborations with the group have been quite stellar. The genre of this theme is not so different, except it’s definitely a rock style with much more edge. It also cannot be disputed that the thematic material here is not much more complex. However, it is a theme that pushes forward and drives much more. Its structure is a bit more unpredictable—rather than the typical “verse-chorus” structure of “Real American,” Triple H’s theme utilizes a bridge much more frequently than the average rock song in my opinion. Both of these themes are very popular (as evident by placement in the Final Four) and have redeeming qualities. One cannot deny “Real American” in its sheer recognizability (it’s very possible that word was made up just now…). CMV1: When this tournament began, I had Hogan’s theme pegged to win the tournament or at least make the finals. I don’t think it’s much of a surprise that it has quite easily mowed through the majority of its opposition in the last few months. It was the definition of an era to me. As a kid growing up watching the larger than life WWF after seeing the NWA style while living in North Carolina, “Real American” and the Hulkster did exactly what they were intended to do – capture my imagination and make me glue my eyes to WWF programming. There’s not a time that I hear “Real American” that I don’t get goose bumps and I credit Hogan’s nostalgic run at the beginning of 2002 as the thing that bridged the gap for me between my early days as a fan and my adult fanaticism that has stuck with me for the last 8 years and counting. I don’t vote in this competition unless there is a tie, but if I get a chance to vote…I’m going “Real American” all the way. Voter Comments “This was a hard pick, but I go with Hogan because of the songs historical significance, the fact Real American is still being used in other media sources like Eastbound and Down, Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and Beavis and Butt Head. It also transcended wrestling. Ask anyone to ID the two songs and I’d bet 10 bucks that the majority will get Real American over Time to Play the Game. Again, there is nothing that can beat a Real American.” – Macho King “Real American is the theme songs of all theme songs. To think they were going to give that to Windham and Rotunda, Derringer you should have buried yourself and stayed buried.” – LWO4Life “Real American is epic for what it meant, but Triple H's theme is something you can really rock out to. I would never listen to Real American for the song itself.” – Mizfan “This was a tough choice. Real American is my all time favorite theme simply for nostalgia...but as an overall song HHH's theme is probably better. They both have very distinctive crowd-popping opening guitar chords and suit the wrestler PERFECTLY. The audience knows whats coming in the first 3 seconds of each song. However i took into account the part each theme played for the wrestler and 'Real American' is simply too iconic to be defeated here and has a right to be in the final.” – G-Star 15 Million Dollar Man defeated 11 Stone Cold Steve Austin “Glass Shatter” (16-10) CMV1: Absolutely shocking, in my opinion, but I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised given that MDM has been upsetting themes of more popular wrestlers for the last four rounds. I thought for sure that it would be Austin vs. Hogan in the finals, but alas I was again proven incorrect thanks to the theme of Ted Dibiase’s Million Dollar Man character. I cannot deny its greatness, but it has knocked out some truly iconic themes. Gone is the opportunity to get Hogan vs. Austin in some way, shape, or form. In its place will be two classic late 80’s themes. Leonard: MILLION DOLLAR MAN – I’ve made it very clear throughout the tournament that I love the campy quality that this theme brings. It’s from the late ‘80’s though, so that aspect isn’t incredibly surprising. Ted Dibiase does a great job singing/rapping/saying his theme song as well. Not many wrestlers have sung their own theme, so the fact that he did so is another feather in his cap, for sure (maybe not the biggest, but it has to be one). One thing that I’ve never mentioned, though, is how compositionally dull the theme is…I like the chorus girls singing “Money, Money, Money, Money, Moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.” The basic chordal structure is great, too. But it seems like that more variation could have been put in the backgrounds. I’ll be the first one to understand that those things aren’t the real bread and butter of the song, but it would have still added quite a bit. GLASS SHATTER – Much like “Real American,” Stone Cold Steve Austin’s theme defines an entire era. The compositional structure is simple (there are only two sections), yet still always manages to drive forward. Also, when talking about themes, there are very few that have opening sounds that so quickly trigger the crowd. Along with “WOOO!,” a opening high pitched guitar chord, and Hell’s Bells, the shattering glass that begins Stone Cold’s theme is one of those openings. Sure, the Million Dollar Man’s laugh is pretty recognizable, but not quite so as the glass shattering. If it were me making the decision here (and it’s certainly not), I would give the nod to Steve Austin’s music, resulting in a clash of the top music of the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Era and the Attitude Era. Voter Comments “Not a hard pick for me. Austin's music was a generic beat that was on repeat, while Million Dollar Man, sung his song, had words, included his laugh and is more or less the arch type for the majority of wrestling themes. We are voting for the theme not the wrestler and if it wasn’t for Stone Cold, his theme would have ended up being lost in the generic attitude theme cesspool.” – MachoKing “Steve Austin defined the Attitude Era. It's hard not to vote for the Million Dollar Man, BUT when you heard the glass, that was your ass. It was the perfect mix of noise to define Steve Austin's character.” – LWO4Life “Very tough pick. I love DiBiase's evil laugh, but Austin's song sounds like a war machine in motion. It's a driving wall of hardcore cacophony that would get me head banging even if I had never heard of Austin, whereas if I heard DiBiase's without having seen wrestling I'd be like wtf.” – Mizfan “Perfect way to get Ted DiBiase over. If you were a kid growing up in the 80's, this song made you boo, cuz you knew some jerk was going to flaunt his money over everyone. I REALLY want DiBiase to win the whole thing. If, for nothing else, so he can win a title by beating Hulk Hogan.” – Y2Jrj “This was an easier choice. I love Million Dollar Man's music but very rarely does a wrestling song get me physically pumped up like Austins does. Like Hogans song..the Glass Shattering is just as iconic and a fitting final awaits in Hogan vs Austin. A match for the ages. On another note..i think The Doc is wrong to discount Austins theme as being generic. If anything i found Ultimate Warriors theme WAY more generic-er (if thats a word lol). Theres more passion in Austins theme and the chundering guitar chords sound far better than Warrior's weaker sound. I guess i like heavier music and Austins is just that (as noted above i have Ausint theme on my i-pod when i go for a run cause it just pumps me up!) But each to their own! Great tournament.” – G-Star 1 Hulk Hogan (18 votes – WINNER) Vs. 15 Million Dollar Man (14 votes) CMV1: Well, to paraphrase the man with the top seeded theme in this tournament, if you'd have told me that three months after starting this project that we’d end up with Hulk Hogan vs. Ted Dibiase in the finals, I’d have called you a liar, Mean Gene. The rise of the MDM theme has been shocking to me. My esteemed colleague with all the musical knowledge, Leonard, had it ranked very high when we started, but I didn’t even have it ranked in my top 20. It wasn’t even on my radar as a realistic possibility to be around when we got down to the final 16, 8, 4, and especially not 2. Yet, that has been the thing that has made this tournament exciting. The unexpected run of the 15th seed in the tournament has kept things interesting. Again, I don’t have a vote, but Hogan should win this by a mile, in my opinion. I don’t care if it wasn’t written for him or if he didn’t sing it himself or if he’s currently ruining TNA Wrestling… “Real American” is the greatest entrance theme in the history of the great sport of pro-wrestling. Even though I preferred others to him as a kid, there will always be that 6-year old kid in me that wants to say his prayers, do his training, and take his vitamins because “Real American” triggers a whole host of memories. That’s what Hogan’s theme is about for a lot of us that grew up during that era. When we hear it, it’s not just “Oh, that’s Hulk Hogan’s theme.” It’s more than that… Leonard: I would love to give my nod to the sentimental favorite here. Again, the campiness of Ted Dibiase’s theme makes it such a fun piece of music. The background singers are great too. However, when I looked through previous notes on the pieces throughout this tournament, I always managed to compare something to Hulk Hogan’s “Real American.” Truthfully, besides the superior compositional quality (if you can believe it…) of Hogan’s theme and the wide-reaching span of that music, the fact that theme music discussion always comes back to this piece says all one needs to know. Maybe if this final were against Austin’s original theme, Ric Flair’s theme, or the original Undertaker’s theme (my personal number one seed), the decision for me would be a bit tougher. I’m not sure if the decision could be any easier, actually (…well, unless it was against Austin’s “Disturbed” theme…HA!). Of course, this isn’t to sell Dibiase’s theme short. Or any of the themes, for that matter. We started with some of the most stellar pieces of theme music in WWE history, and somehow whittled that down to one superior piece of professional wrestling music. It was incredibly fun for me to just write about wrestling and music again, and to see the many surprises along the way. Thanks to the readers and voters for putting in your two cents, and thanks to Dr. Chad for having me along. Keep listening! Voter’s Comments “Real American is the greatest, most iconic, and recognizable wrestling theme of all-time. If that song doesn't win this whole thing not only will it be a travesty of justice but a complete joke. I like DiBiase and I loved his theme, but there is no way that it is better than Real American.” – Lunchbox1981 “When a song was reviewed in the early 90's by Bevis and Butthead, then you know it's the greatest song in wrestling history. And just because I posted earlier, if you hate Hulk Hogan and don't want to vote for his theme, then do it for Kenny Powers!!!” – LWO4Life “I got paid by the Million Dollar Man to vote for him because everybody's gotta price and lucky for him I'm cheap...” – D_South216 “I have to go with Dibiase. It's not a favoritism with the wrestlers, because honestly I dislike both of them as wrestlers, but I think his just fit him better and I found the song more entertaining. Whenever I heard it hit I knew I was going to get something different. Mostly in how he embarrassed the people he uses to prove the point of his music. That being said, I'm no different” – Wrong Turn “Dibiase's theme is great, but Hulk Hogan Real American wins this hands down. For people saying that the theme would never be winning if it wasn't for Hogan.... duh. But it's not voting for the wrestler, it's voting for how perfect the theme suits the wrestler. Hogan's theme was about what Hogan was, the ultimate American, the quintessential good guy who always did the right thing, stood up for everyone (how many times did he run down to save faces from heel beat-downs?), and was always the one who fought against the big bad guys who stood for evil (especially against those from 'evil' other countries, Volkoff of the Soviets, Slaughter of Iraq, Sheik of Iran)... it was the ultimate theme suited perfectly the ultimate hero, and it needs to win.” – Ironslave “HOGAN! Anyone that is voting against the Hogan theme is voting because they do not like Hogan. Yep, bold claim, but there is no universe, or world, that this Real American is not the greatest wrestling theme of all time. It is easy to make a heel theme, but to make a 30 year old, well 26 year old wrestling theme still relevant today is unquestionable, un-doubtable, unbelievable, and unprecedented. On every level that you judge this theme on and compare it to Million Dollar Man’s, Hogan wins in all categories with a blow out in key areas. Pop factor, continued use, continued relevance, the fact it defines a wrestling theme. You look up wrestling theme and Hogan's theme is pictured. It has transcended time and space and has become imbedded in pop culture history. When someone buried a time capsule in 1988, Hulk Hogan's theme song was in it (id include his cartoon too). From MTV, to Beavis and Butthead, to King of the Hill, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Eastbound and Down, I am a Real American fights for the rights of every theme song, I am a Real American fights for what’s right and could very well be considered a American theme song in 300 years. Just imagine people singing that song at the start of every sporting event brother. So in a nut shell, I vote for Hulk Hogan’s theme.” – MachoKing “I vote real American it is the better song and fit what hogan stood for at the time......... but best theme song ever was bad street u.s.a for the freebirds........ and with theme songs its hard to separate the song from the wrestler hogan was the real american and every body did have a price for the million dollar man if you didnt like hogan you wouldnt have liked his theme song” - Manson Closing Acknowledgements I want to thank Leonard for helping me with this project. When I got my main page call up a few months ago, I thought of collaborations that I could do with some of my favorite writers in the Columns Forum. Leo’s pieces about music were always a great read, thus came the idea for this tournament. I consider this to be Leo’s column more than mine. He is the one with the insight and he was the driving force behind making this more than just a standard tournament. Of course, we also have to thank the voters and those of you that gave us feedback. Here’s hoping that everyone enjoyed this. From over 90 themes that were nominated to the eventual winner, “Real American,” I certainly enjoyed sitting back and mediating. THANK YOU!
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