Posted in: Raw WWE Monday Night RAW Results 5/9/11
By Marc Middleton
May 9, 2011 - 8:41:44 PM
We are live from Knoxville, Tennessee and your announcers are Michael ‘The Lane Kiffin of WWE’ Cole, Josh ‘The Bruce Pearl of the WWE’ Mathews and Jerry ‘The Pat Summit of the WWE’ Lawler.
The show starts with Alberto Del Rio making his way to the ring as Ricardo Rodriguez introduces him.
Del Rio introduces himself but we know who he is already. Alberto says that it is his destiny to be the World Champion but it was stolen by the retired Edge. He says that destiny can be delayed, but it cannot be stopped. Alberto wonders why we wasted so much time last week with the Rock. It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto Del Rio. The WWE Champion is John Cena, but we know that there is no one better than him. Alberto says that he should be the number one contender.
Rey Mysterio’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. Rey tells Alberto that he is no more worthy to have a title match than him. They both got drafted to Raw and he is going to tell Alberto what he has said before. It isn’t Alberto’s destiny to be champion, it is his destiny to be the personal ring announcer of Ricardo Rodriguez. In order to determine the number one contender, he is challenging Alberto to a match tonight.
Alberto tells Rey to listen to him like the little Chihuahua that he is. If he has to beat Rey for the thousandth time . . .
We hear Awesome first and Miz comes to the ring followed his personal young boy, Alex Riley.
Miz throws out a few reallys. He says that Teddy Long’s incompetence on Smackdown led to things, but draft or no draft, this is still his show. The WWE Championship is still his title. If not for the incompetence of his assistant last week, he would still be WWE Champion.
Alberto says that Miz had his chance and he didn’t get the job done. He tells Miz that he goes to the back of the line.
Miz says that he got the job done and he pinned John Cena. Last week, he was announced the WWE Champion. Then the prejudiced referee reversed the decision. Miz says that he didn’t know what Alex Riley was going to do. Miz says that he used the belt before Cena could. Miz demands a legitimate rematch and then he tells Alberto and Rey that they can fight in a Taco Bell parking lot. Miz says that he is the only person who should be facing John Cena.
R Truth comes out to the ring without wanting to know ‘What’s Up’. Truth says that we can’t get along and since everyone is spitting a bit of hate, he wants to spit a little hate of his own. Truth says that he hates hospital food. He says that it is as dry as a desert, it smells bad, and it tastes bad. He says you never get it when you really want. Truth says that John Morrison is eating a lot of hospital food now because of what happened last week. We go to the video tape.
Truth is proud of what he did and says that Morrison had to have surgery and he says that it is on WWE.com if you don’t believe him. Truth sends a shout out to John Morrison. P.S. hospital food gives you constipation.
Truth says that he has no problem making sure that everyone in the ring is hooked up to the same IV. He says that they can share the same bedpan too. It doesn’t matter if you’re some pretty boy from L.A. and he calls Miz ‘Kermit’. It doesn’t matter if you are some super hero wannabe from San Diego and he calls Rey ‘bottle nose’. It doesn’t matter if you’re some pompous Mexican fence jumper and he calls Del Rio ‘liver lips’.
When an angry black man is talking, everyone needs to shut it up. Truth says that he is not going to wait around like he did over the last ten years. The only person who is going to face John Cena is him and that is the TRUTH.
We get an Instantly Annoying Message and Michael Cole gets to grace us with his reading comprehension skills. Cole quotes and says that despite all of the compelling arguments, only three deserve it. There will be a Triple Threat match to see who faces John Cena at Over The Limit.
Miz is right that he deserves a rematch so he is in. Alberto Del Rio is the crown jewel of the WWE Draft so he is in too. As for the third competitor . . .
By virtue of his victory last week, the third competitor is Rey Mysterio.
Truth is not happy with the announcement and he wants to know why it happened to him again. Truth says that he is better than everyone, especially Rey.
Rey tells Truth that for once, he is agreeing with the General Manager. Truth should not be in the match and that’s What’s Up and that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Truth leaves the ring, but is this the last time we see Truth tonight?
Miz tells Alberto and Rey that it doesn’t matter what they accomplished or did not accomplish on Smackdown. They need to learn that on Raw, they are day laborers, chump change, and bench warmers because the star of this show and the next WWE Champion is . . .
Ricardo jumps in and says ‘Alberto Del Rio’ and Alberto laughs. Alex Riley attacks Del Rio but Rodriguez takes care of Riley. Miz goes after Rodriguez and then Del Rio and Miz battle to the floor. Rey with a plancha onto Del Rio to the floor.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Kharma attacking Maryse last week while saving Kelly for later.
Match Number One: Nikki and Brie Bella versus Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly
Kelly and Brie start things off and Kelly with a clean break. Nikki distracts Kelly and Brie attacks her from behind. Nikki tags in and Brie with a drop kick followed by one from Nikki for a near fall. Nikki with a forearm to the back and Kelly with a head scissors to Nikki. Kelly spanks Nikki and then she sends Brie to the floor.
Kelly with a handspring back elbow to Nikki followed by a bulldog. Brie tries to pull Nikki to the floor and Eve with a drop kick to Brie. Kelly with an inside cradle for the three count.
Winners: Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres
After the match, Kharma’s music plays and she is on her way to the ring while Eve and Kelly stay in the ring.
The Bellas try to hide from Kharma as she makes her way to the ring.
The Bellas run to the back while Eve and Kelly stand in the ring, well Kelly has backed herself into a corner and then she leaves the ring.
Eve charges at Kharma and Kharma knocks Eve to the mat. Kharma leaves the ring and Kelly runs away. Kharma stares at Kelly and then looks back into the ring. Kharma picks up Eve and hits her with the Implant Buster.
Kane is walking in the back and Big Show joins him as we walk into commercial.
We are back and Did You Know that WWE has a lot of Facebook fans?
We see highlights from last week when Mason Ryan took Kane down with an uranage. Then we see Ryan giving Big Show a spear.
Match Number Two: Mason Ryan with CM Punk versus Kane with Big Show
Kane with a waist lock but Ryan gets out of the hold. Kane with a kick and uppercut. Ryan with an Irish whip but Kane with punches to Ryan and the referee warns Kane. Ryan with a clothesline that takes Kane down. Ryan chokes Kane in the ropes and then he gets Kane up and he hits the Oklahoma Stampede but he can only get a near fall.
Ryan misses a clothesline and Kane with an uppercut and a drop kick to the knees and then to the head for a near fall. Kane with a kick when Ryan misses a shoulder in the corner. Punk hits Kane in the leg but Kane is able to kick Ryan. Punk gets knocked out by Show. The other members of Nexus come to the ring but Kane and Show take care of McGillicutty and Otunga like they are members of the Corre. Kane and Show with a double choke slam to Ryan.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Vickie Guerrero interrupts Santino’s music to introduce the greatest superstar in the WWE.
Match Number Three: Santino Marella versus Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero
Dolph pushes Santino away and he punches Santino followed by kicks and more punches. Dolph with a fireman’s carry and then he hits a leaping elbow drop and then he kicks Santino in the head. Ziggler holds Santino by the head but Santino with a punch and hip toss. Time for the cobra but Ziggler with a drop kick while Santino wasn’t looking. Ziggler with the Zig Zag for the three count.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
We go to commercial.
We are back with the return of the Smackdown Rebound (Byte This is next) of Christian’s title reign ending at the hands of Randall Keith Orton.
Josh says that he thought it was unfair for Christian to have to defend his title so soon. Lawler says that we shouldn’t blame Teddy Long.
R Truth is walking out of the building while listening to something on his headphones.
Scott Stanford wants to talk to him. Truth says that it is a conspiracy. Truth says that he is getting letters from parents to go back to dancing and singing ‘what’s up’. Truth says that he isn’t being taken seriously because the fans aren’t taking him seriously. Truth tells Del Rio, Miz, and Mysterio will get theirs in due time.
Truth wants Scott to say ‘what’s up’ and Truth stares a hole through Scott as he leaves.
Zack Ryder fist pumps with John Cena and then Cena walks away.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a look back at last week’s Raw when Miz defeated John Cena only to have the referee reverse the decision.
Miz is pacing and Riley tells Miz that he thought he was doing the right thing. He had it set up perfectly and he did it for Miz. Riley says that he didn’t realize that Miz had the title in his hand when he raised it.
Miz asks Riley how stupid he gets. He told Riley what to do and he hugs him and then raises his hand with the title belt.
Riley apologizes and Miz calls him an amoeba. Miz thinks about it and he calls Riley a troglodyte. Then he says that Riley has the brain of an orangutan. Miz wonders why he allows Riley in his presence.
Riley says that he is going to make it up to him and Miz wants to know how. Riley tells him to watch him.
Riley is walking in the back and he is looking for someone or something, but he keeps walking and walking and walking and walking.
Riley makes his way into the arena and the fans show their appreciation. Riley says that he doesn’t care what everyone thinks about him. The only person in his life that he cares about is the Miz. He says that he is going to prove it to the Miz because he is challenging John Cena to a match.
Riley tells Cena that he is in the ring. Since he is the Miz’s poor little apprentice, he can’t do Cena any harm. Riley throws the mic up the ramp and then John Cena’s music plays.
Match Number Four: John Cena versus Alex Riley in a Non Title Match
Cena with a waist lock and take down. They lock up and Cena with a snap mare to Riley. Riley tries for a kick but Cena blocks it and then he hip tosses Riley. Cena misses a charge into the corner and he hits a clothesline and gets a near fall. Riley gets another near fall. Riley works on the arm and hits a belly-to-back suplex for a near fall. Riley with a reverse chin lock. Cena powers out of the hold but Riley with a kick.
Cena with the two flying shoulder tackles followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb and the Legendary sequence ends with the Five Knuckle Shuffle and an Attitude Adjustment. Cena sees Miz on the ramp walking to the ring. Cena gets Riley up for another Attitude Adjustment. Cena applies the STF and Riley taps.
Winner: John Cena
Cena takes his time to release the hold and then he poses for Miz.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for Michael Cole to increase the sales of ear plugs. Cole says that after beating Jerry Lawler twice, he cannot get any higher. After much deliberation, Cole says that he is going to announce his retirement from in ring competition. Cole says that he knows he is retiring as the only undefeated superstar. Cole says that he wants to be known as a dual announcer and in ring competitor when he is inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Lawler comes into the ring and Cole reminds us that the stipulation from earlier in the year still stands.
Lawler says that rule did not apply to the Rock last week. Lawler decides that to get the fans out of their coma, he wants to show everyone what happened last week between Michael Cole and The Rock.
Lawler tells Cole that it was very entertaining. He says that if the day ever came where Michael Cole was ever inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, life as we know it would cease to exist. Lawler suggests that if Cole could defeat him again, Lawler says that he would personally induct Cole into the Hall of Fame and give him his Hall of Fame ring.
Cole says no after bringing up the ring a few times.
Cole returns to his sequin mine and Cole says that Lawler had to steal his spotlight again. Cole wonders what it is about people from Tennessee being sore losers. Cole brings up Al Gore who lost to George Bush and he is still complaining about it. Cole suggests that people in Tennessee will not acknowledge that Elvis died on the toilet. Cole says that Lawler won’t acknowledge that he lost to him twice. Cole says that he made that decision yesterday on Mother’s Day. He talks about how he spent Mother’s Day with his mom and they watched Wrestlemania on the DVD player and they watched over and over the night that he dissected Lawler in the ring. He says that there is nothing better to do on Mother’s Day than to spend it with your mother. Cole asks Lawler what he did on Mother’s Day. Cole says that he is insensitive because it slipped his mind that Lawler’s mother passed away in February.
Lawler goes to the Sequin Mine but Swagger stops Lawler and sends him into the ring post.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a Be A Star video package.
Match Number Five: Jack Swagger versus Kofi Kingston for the United States Title
They lock up and Kofi with a waist lock but Swagger backs Kofi into the corner and he goes for the ankle but Kofi rolls through. Kofi misses on Trouble in Paradise. Swagger with a side head lock take down but Kofi with a head scissors. Swagger escapes and Kofi with another waist lock but Swagger with a standing switch. Kofi tries for a standing switch but Swagger with a knee. Kofi with a flying forearm followed by a drop kick and Swagger goes to the floor.
Kofi tries for a pescado but Swagger returns to the ring. Swagger with a kick and then he knocks Kofi off the apron and we go to commercial.
We are back and Swagger has Kofi’s arms locked and Swagger with a forearm to the back. Swagger runs Kofi into the turnbuckles and then he puts Kofi on the turnbuckles. Kofi kicks Swagger but Swagger with a knee to the midsection. Swagger tries for the Swagger Bomb but he lands on Kofi’s knees. Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise when Swagger moves out of the way. Kofi goes up top and hits a cross body for a near fall.
Kofi kicks Swagger in the head but Swagger sends Kofi over the top rope but Kofi holds on and tries to sends Swagger to the floor. Swagger puts Kofi in the ankle lock while Kofi was in the ropes. Swagger sends Kofi’s knee into the mat. Kofi kicks Swagger away and then he connects with an elbow. Kofi sets for a tornado DDT but Swagger counters and Kofi lands on his ankle. Swagger stands on the ankle while kicking Kofi.
Jerry Lawler comes out and Kofi with Trouble in Paradise for the three count.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
After the match, Lawler sends Swagger into the crowd as he tries to enter Cole cubby hole. Lawler throws a chair into the box and then he grabs Cole’s tie and pulls Cole into the wall a few dozen times.
Swagger checks on Cole and he tells Lawler that he did it. Swagger says that Lawler is going to be fired for touching him.
Lawler says that he didn’t touch Cole, he touched his tie.
Swagger says that Lawler a first ballot Hall of Famer because Cole accepts.
Cole wonders what just happened as he walks to the back with Jack Swagger.
We go to footage from the Santa Barbara Film Festival for That’s What I Am, which featured Randy Orton.
Match Number Six: Alberto Del Rio versus Miz versus Rey Mysterio in a Number One Contender Match
Miz goes after Rey but Rey moves. Rey kicks Del Rio and Miz. Miz hits Rey from behind. Rey kicks Del Rio and then Miz sends Rey over his head and Rey kicks Del Rio. Alberto and Miz go into the ropes but Del Rio with a clothesline. Del Rio sends Rey to the floor and Miz with a rollup for a near fall. Miz avoids the cross arm breaker. Del Rio tries for a rollup but Miz holds on to the ropes.
Rey with a sunset flip on Del Rio but Miz breaks up the cover. Miz sends Del Rio into the ring post and Miz gets a near fall on Rey. Miz with an Irish whip and then he sets for the Awesome Clothesline and the force sends Del Rio to the floor. Miz gets a near fall on Rey. Miz with a snap mare and cravate on Rey but Rey with kicks to Miz. Rey with a drop toe hold and Miz falls into the ropes. Del Rio trips Rey and then he kicks Rey in the midsection. Rey tries for a head scissors but Del Rio sends Rey to the floor. Miz tries for the Skull Crushing Finale but Del Rio with a rollup for a near fall. Miz counters a cross arm breaker attempt with a rollup. Miz and Del Rio with clotheslines at the same time and they are down in the ring while Rey is down on the floor.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Del Rio with a rear chin lock on Rey but he takes time to kick Miz off the apron and back to the floor. Rey punches Del Rio in the ribs but Del Rio punches Rey. Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a near fall. Del Rio goes to the floor and he sends Miz into the ring post.
Del Rio returns to the ring and he kicks Rey in the head and gets a near fall. Del Rio with a reverse chin lock on Del Rio. Rey with an elbow to Del Rio but Del Rio with a kick to Rey’s leg followed by a punch. Miz pulls down the ropes and Del Rio goes over the top rope to the floor. Miz with a sunset flip but you don’t give Rey a sunset flip and Rey rolls through and kicks Miz in the head. Rey with a leg drop and he gets a near fall.
Miz backs into the corner and he sends Rey into the turnbuckles. Miz kicks Rey followed by an Irish whip. Miz thinks about the Awesome clothesline but Rey moves out of the way. Del Rio pulls Miz to the floor. Rey with a flip dive onto Del Rio and all three men are down on the floor.
Rey kicks Del Rio and sends him back into the ring. Rey with a baseball slide to Miz. Rey goes up top for a seated splash and he connects. Rey with a springboard cross body for a near fall on Del Rio.
Del Rio pushes Rey into the ropes but Rey with a head scissors and Del Rio is down. Miz goes up top while Del Rio and Rey fight in the ring. Del Rio is sent into the turnbuckles and Miz is crotched. Rey with a rollup for a near fall.
Rey punches Miz on the turnbuckles and Rey hits a super rana but Del Rio with a single arm breaker. Del Rio smiles at Rey and then he puts Rey in the cross arm breaker. Rey tries to get out of the hold. Miz misses a boot but Del Rio with a rollup on Miz for a near fall. Miz with a DDT for a near fall on Del Rio.
Rey kicks Miz out of the ring and Alex Riley limps to ringside. Riley checks on Miz while Del Rio sets for a power bomb on Rey. Rey counters and sends Del Rio into Riley. Rey hits the 619 and then he kicks Miz off the apron. Rey with the dive but Riley pulls Del Rio out of the ring. Miz with a rollup for the three count on Mysterio.
Miz has Riley hold up his hand in victory while Rey cannot believe that he came so close to winning.
John Cena’s music plays and he comes out to announce the stipulation for his match with Miz at Over the Limit.
Cena congratulates Miz and he says that he is doing the same thing he did the night after Wrestlemania. All Miz did was have excuses when he lost. Cena says that there will be no excuses because there will be no disqualifications. There will also be no count outs. There will be no submissions. There will be no pinfalls. Cena tells Miz that if he wants to win the title back, he will have to make Cena say two words . . . I Quit.
Meanwhile, back in the ring, R Truth attacks Cena and hits What’s Up on Rey.