Posted in: Impact TNA iMPACT Wrestling Results 09/08/11
Sep 8, 2011 - 11:31:29 PM
Report by Stuart Carapola & PWInsider.com
They kick off the show with a video package of various TNA wrestlers talking about Jeff Hardy's "demons" which, by the way, he got sentenced on earlier tonight, then another short video of the neverending, twisting and turning conflict involving Immortal, Ken Anderson, and Sting, and then we're off to the arena as Anderson makes his way to the ring. He says he made a deal with the devils, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, and tells the fans to boo him. They comply, but he says he's on the outside of Immortal looking in thanks to Bully Ray, and if they thought he was annoying before, he's going to be a royal pain in their asses now because he's coming after Kurt Angle tonight. Everybody forgot that he never cashed in his rematch and he's going to do that tonight, but he knows Immortal are going to interfere so he's got Sting to watch his back. Weren't they just feuding like a month or two ago? I honestly can't keep any of this straight anymore. Sting comes out and says he's wielding the power of the Network, who have given him the ability to call the shots tonight because he's going to be the guest referee for tonight's Angle-Anderson match.
Tonight, JEFF HARDY RETURNS...and a bunch of other stuff!!!
Let's head to the ring for our first match...
Devon & The Pope vs The British Invasion
This match is to determine Mexican America's challengers at No Surrender, and the British Invasion are already in the ring during Pope & Devon's entrance, which should tell you pretty much what's going to happen. Pope beats up Magnus and takes a shot at Williams, but Magnus takes the opening to boot him in the face and tag out to Williams. Williams works him over and then Magnus tags in and takes his head off with a clotheslines for 2. A top rope elbowdrop from Magnus gets 2, but Magnus misses a big boot and lays Williams out, allowing Pope to make the tag to Devon. Devon cleans house on both men and hitsa powerslam on Williams for 2, then Pope clotheslines Magnus to the floor and Devon hits a spinebuster on Williams for the win.
Winners: The Pope & Devon
Kurt Angle is backstage saying he'll believe Jeff Hardy's back when he sees it, then someone I believe is named Eddie Alvarez comes in to talk about his upcoming fight in Atlantic City. Kurt's really happy to see him, and they walk out together.
We're down to the final four in the Bound For Glory Series, and we'll see Bobby Roode (42 points) taking on Gunner (42 points) and Bully Ray (49 points) takes on James Storm (30 points) this weekend at No Surrender. But we'll get a preview of that match right now, as we go to the ring where all four participants are in the ring. Bubba takes the mic and kicks Jeremy Borash out of the ring, and says that he is a tag team god and is qualified to say that Beer Money will go down in history as one of the greatest tag teams not just in TNA, but all over the world. Bubba knows they both want to win the series and go on to win the title, but they won't admit it to each other because tag teams never look at each other and wonder how successful they could be by themselves. Hawk, Animal, Rick, Scott, and even he did it. He says Gunner will do whatever it takes to win the series and go on to win the World Title, but neither of them will do what's right for each other because wrestlers are selfish and neither will turn down the women and money. He's Bully Ray, he's from New York City, and he's the next World Champion.
Roode takes the microphone and says Bubba's right that Beer Money will go down as one of the greatest teams of all time, but he and Storm have their eyes set on becoming the World Champion because it's been both their dream since day one just like everyone in the back. Only one man can walk out of No Surrender as the challenger for the World Title, and he guarantees that whether it's Storm or himself, they'll both be there to share in the celebration because no matter what, nobody will ever come between them and nobody will ever kill Beer Money. Storm says he's sorry about their damn luck, and we'll see these guys face off in a four way match later tonight. Great promo!
Back to the ring...
TV Title Match: Eric Young vs Robbie E
Hopefully this will be painless. Robbie works Eric over until Eric fires up, pulls his pants down, and connects with a flying clothesline and a top rope elbowdrop for 2. Eric f'n SPIKES Robbie with a piledriver, and now is able to cover for 3.
Winner: Eric Young
Eric is celebrating when Rob Terry comes out of the back and attacks him, then gives him the Last Ride.
Rob Van Dam finds Jerry Lynn in the back and is angry that Lynn screwed him, and Lynn said he did it because it's always been about him and the phones are always ringing for him, and he only gets called to wrestle RVD because they know it'll be a good match. He had to get a job at a warehouse while RVD was being brought in here, and Hogan and Bischoff finally smartened him up. He knows he's better than RVD, to which RVD responds by laying him out and walking off.
Velvet Sky and Mickie James are backstage and Velvet congratulates Mickie on regaining the Knockouts Title and wonders what it would feel like around her waist, but before they can get too deep into that conversation, Karen Jarrett comes in for an inspection. She says it's like a pig sty back there and can't believe Mickie has her dog with her, and she says she made a Mickie-Winter rematch for No Surrender, and tells Velvet to lay off the cupcakes because her ass is getting too fat.
Jeff Hardy is backstage! And he's...WALKING!
Time for main event #1...
World Title Match: Kurt Angle vs Ken Anderson
As stated earlier, Sting is the special enforcer referee for this match. They feel each other out until Anderson comes off the ropes with a back elbow and then fires in with right hands to Angle. Anderson with a spinning neckbreaker for 2 and then rams Angle hard into the corner for another 2. Anderson charges Angle in the corner and Angle gets the boot up, then charges out and nails Anderson with a clothesline. Angle only gets a 1 off of that, but tries to wear Anderson down with a rear chinlock. Anderson fires elbows into the midsection of Angle, but Angle with a knee to the midsection and then goes back to that chinlock. They wipe each other out with a double clothesline, but get back to their feet and go toe to toe. Anderson wipes the champion out with a clothesline, but walks right into a bearhug and Angle pops him over his head into a release suplex. Anderson comes right back by scooping Angle into a fireman's carry and hit a Finlay Roll for 2, then he goes for the Mic Check but Angle escapes and hits one German suplex after another and covers for 2. Angle pulls the straps down and goes to the anklelock, but Anderson rolls through into a cradle for 2, then hits the Mic Check out of nowhere, but Angle manages to kick out at 2. Sting looks concerned at ringside as Anderson pulls Angle back to his feet, but Angle "accidentally" pokes the referee in the eye, then low blows Anderson and hits an Angle Slam. The referee goes to count, but Sting pulls him out of the ring to tell him what Angle did. Angle goes to the ropes to yell at Sting, but turns around and Anderson hits the Mic Check. Anderson goes for the cover, but Gunner runs in and nails him at 2 and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner by DQ: Ken Anderson
Okay, raise your hand if you didn't see that finish coming a mile away! Yeah, didn't think you would. All of Immortal, including hogan, comes down to the ring and they leave Anderson and Sting laying as Angle holds the title belt high.
We come back from commercial to rewatch what we just saw, then we go to the Immortal locker room where they apparently want to throw a party because they just perpetrated a beatdown. Bischoff kicks them all out because he can't hear what the person he's talking to on the phone is saying. They leave, and Bischoff acts angry at what he's hearing, so he probably wishes he hadn't kicked everyone out. Oh well, back to the ring.
Mickie James & Velvet Sky vs Winter & Angelina Love
Velvet and Winter start, but Velvet tags out before making contact and Mickie comes in, so Winter tags out to Angelina. Angelina tosses her across the ring by the hair, but charges into Mickie's elbow and Mickie hits her headscissors out of the corner and a clothesline. She goes after Winter on the apron, and Angelina nails her from behind and then holds her so Velvet can come off the ropes with a diving dropkick for 2. Angelina gives her former BFF a chinbreaker and then tags out to Winter, but Velvet catches her with a monkey flip and then gets a flying headscissors. Angelina trips Velvet from the floor and then chokes her in the corner while Winter puts the boots to her. Winter with a Northern Lights suplex for 2, but Velvet hits a weird thing I don't know what it was and makes the tag to Mickie. Mickie off the top with the flying crotch to Winter's face, then unloads with clotheslines and a neckbreaker for 2. Angelina goes after Mickie, but Velvet wipes her out with a spear while Winter blows the red mist in Mickie's eyes and gets the win.
Winners: Winter & Angelina Love
I came up with all kinds of witty ways to describe the finish of that match for the headline, but none of them were really printable so I decided against it. But it's the thought that counts.
Austin Aries comes out and says that he's the #1 contender and Eric Bischoff's favorite X Division wrestler. Brian Kendrick may be all about love and harmony, but Kendrick doesn't practice what he preaches when he comes out to sneak attack Aries for taking his spot. Aries invites him out to the ring, and Kendrick comes out in a suit with his hair tied back and carrying a briefcase. Kendrick says he's out here enunciating and dressing for success like Aries, and success means that whoever dies with the most toys wins. He's received all kids of compliments today for cleaning up well and even wearing shoes. Kendrick asks the fans if they like this Brian Kendrick, and the fans boo, so he says that's fine because he can't stand the outfit and the materialistic world it represents. He's shed desire, and the god voice inside him is stronger than anything in existence. Aries says he doesn't know how many voices he's got in his head, but he wants that belt Kendrick just threw on the mat without any respect. Kendrick says it's just a material possession, and Aries responds by saying he's a fake, a phony, a fraud, and afraid. Kendrick says he's a peace loving man, then suckerpunches Aries again and sends him heading for the hills.
Hulk Hogan comes into the office backstage carrying on like such a moron that he makes John Cena look like Dan Severn, but Eric Bischoff is sitting on the couch looking unhappy because he just got a call from the Network and the title match this weekend is now a three way with Angle, Sting, and Anderson. Hogan says he can't do it and he's had enough with the Network because he's in control and he runs the company and this is not going to happen. Hogan's acting is so bad by this point that you almost can't help but laugh at his performances.
Jeff Hardy is still backstage, and he's...STILL WALKING! Well, that's a good sign this late in the show.
Mike and Taz run down the card for this weekend's PPV, and then we're off to the ring for our second main event!
Bully Ray vs James Storm vs Robert Roode vs Gunner
The bell rings and Samoa Joe comes marching down the ramp, no doubt meaning to do some damage, but Matt Morgan runs out and attacks him and they brawl around ringside as a four way melee breaks out in the ring with Beer Money each pairing off with a member of Immortal. They all take turns laying each other out with clotheslines, then Beer Money lay both of Immortal out with double clotheslines. They have a brief staredown before Bubba attacks them, and Gunner covers Roode for 2 only for Bubba to yell at him that he's supposed to win this match. Storm with a crossbody on Bubba for 2 and a running neckbreaker for 2 on Gunner. Roode with a Blockbuster to Bubba and a spinebuster to Gunner for 2. Roode dumps Bubba to the floor and Roode and Storm have another staredown before going after Gunner and hitting a double vertical suplex. They do BEER...MONEY! and turn around to Bubba laying them both out with a double clothesline and the Bubba Bomb on Roode, but Gunner suddenly dashes across the ring and hits a kneestrike to the face of Bubba and covers for the win.
Gunner backs up the ramp looking very pleased with himself as Bubba collects himself off the mat.
Jeff Hardy is STILL backstage, and he's STILL W-A-L-K-I-N-G! And next, he'll use his walking skills to come out to the ring and talk, too!
Jeff Hardy comes out to the ring looking really embarrassed about something and thanks the fans for the reaction. He thanks the Network for letting him come out and says that he was pathetic and messed up the last time he was out there, and he let everybody down. He let himself down for not being the main eventer he knew he is, and the doubt when he walked into the building was overwhelming because he felt hated. Everyone in the back has every right to be mad at him, and he can't change what happened at Victory Road, but he can admit that he hit rock bottom that night. He stops for a long moment before continuing to say that he can't expect everyone to give him another chance, but all he can do is ask to give him one more shot. The fans chant "one more shot" as Hardy continues and says that all he can do is ask. He drops the mic and climbs out of the ring as teh fans chant "one more shot" again as we fade to black.