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Submitted by Vince Migliore on Wednesday, August 1, 2001 at 8:09 PM EST
 Hello everyone and welcome to the second edition of Reaching For The Ropes here on Lordsofpain. Last week I got a lot of positive feedback from you readers and I'm glad you liked it. I want to say thank you to all the people who sent in their opinions and thoughts. If your opinion differs from mine that's cool as long as you send me an intelligent letter sharing your side of an argument. A few immature people who don't know how to express their opinions without insults and swearing also emailed me. Please don't waste your time if your going to be an ass. I got a lot of Yankees suck emails as well. Sorry people born and lived half my life in NY gotta root for the hometeam. I got a lot planned for this weeks column cause it's been an eventful week in wrestling. So here is what it's gonna look like today. Table Of Contents I - Short Comments on Debatable Issues A - The Rock is back B - Lawler is Kat-less C - Heyman is back! II - Keeping An Eye Open III - Main Topic - The new time slot IV - Question Of The Week V - DVD Review - FMW - The Legend Dawns VI - My Wrestling Wish List VII - Closing Comments Short Comments On Debatable Issues The Rock is back I don't think a comeback was hyped as much as this one was. I really didn't expect that they would announce the Rock's comeback,and he'd just do a run-in one day,but with dwindling ratings this was the best thing to do. A 7.2 for 10 minutes of anticipation of the Rock's decision is just crazy. I'm glad they built the suspense throughout the show so it would keep people glued to their seats wondering when the Rock was going to come back and whose side he would be on. I would have much rather had him be like Sting was during the NWO/WCW angle. I'm not too sure if they would have been able to pull it off,but I guess it's just better for people to know that the Rock is on the same side as the WWF. I just hope that they don't let him wrestle until the PPV. Make people want to buy the PPV,and hype it as the Rocks big return match. If they have in wrestle any time before then they are giving away something big for free. McMahon probably want's to sustain the high ratings,and will have the Rock wrestle before the PPV,but I think it's a mistake. Anyway it's a good thing the Rock is back because he just adds something to the show that noone else can. Lawler is Kat-Less Jerry Lawler announced on his website earlier today that the relationship between he and Stacey Carter is over. "All he really said was The girl I loved more than anything in the world has left me." He mentioned how there were rumors about a big fight and stuff like that and Lawler just said "...but none of them are totally true" This has to be hard for Lawler to cope with. He had to have loved her to quit his job for her. I don't know the full story so I can't criticize,but I wouldn't be surprised if Lawler makes a return to the WWF. It may not be for a while until he can get over this,but I'm sure it will happen because Carter was the main reason for his quitting. Heyman is back From talking about one color analyst to now talking about another. This Monday Paul Heyman made his return to the color commentary position on RAW. Telling you that I'm glad would be an understatement. Heyman can get over a match more than anyone (with exception to JR) because he is writing the things that are going on. Him and JR add so much emotion into the matches they call it makes them that much better. The chemistry between Ross and Heyman isn't great but it's not terrible either. Noone will have the same type of chemistry as Lawler and JR,but it's still good. Michael Cole has gotten better since he first started doing commentary but I'm sorry he still sucks. He doesn't have that skill of being able to call a match by using emotions. Storyline wise it makes sense for Heyman to come back because they 1/2 the announcers to be WWF and the other 1/2 the "Alliance" I just hope it stays like this for a while and they dont go changing it again. Keeping An Eye Open Keep an eye open for these things in wrestling this week 1. If the Rock wrestles 2. If WWF and DirectTv reach a deal 3. Can the ratings stay up 4. Wrestlemania 18 location to be finalized 5. Who gets kicked off of Tough Enough (Chris is my vote) 6. SummerSlam matches to be announced 7. If Stephanie's breasts continue to get even larger 8. The tag team division to start and heat up 9. Word on the new timeslot Main Topic - The new Timeslot Late last week the information that TNN had cleared a new timeslot for WWF programming had been leaked. The timeslot is going to be for Saturday night 10-12 p.m. EST. Now everyone knows that the original plan of the WWF's for WCW was to have it be on it's own and have it's own timeslot. This way the WWF could rebuild the WCW brand and a year down the line an Invasion angle would mean so much more. Due to many circumstances this never happened and WCW was brought in to Invade right away. It looks like with this angle drawing more interest the WWF may go back into this direction very soon. I'm not saying that this timeslot is for just WCW/ECW but I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out this way. The downside to all of this is the fact that it adds another 2 hours of wrestling product out there for us to watch. With the wrestling industry weaker than it has been in years having more hours of wrestling to watch a week would not be the best of ideas. What other plans of action could there be? They have already tried to make half the show WCW and half the show WWF and that failed miserably. Remember Arn Anderson doing color? The idea was even brough up for WCW to take over RAW and from now on RAW was going to be a WCW only show. I'm not too sure how great that would have worked out,but that is still something left to try. Maybe WCW takes over RAW so Vince buys another timeslot for his show. Of course it could go the other way and Shane buys a timeslot for his show. All in all I really don't see any good in a new timeslot. Maybe if this was two years ago,and this WCW had all the same stars (Goldberg,Sting,Flair,etc..) but it's not and they don't so if giving WCW/ECW it's own timeslot is the direction their heading then I say NAY Question Of The Week This weeks question is How do you think the new timeslot will be used? Of course WWF will probably release a statement and we will all find out tomorrow but still respond anyway. Send all responses to NYYanks24@mediaone.net and please leave your name so I know who to put wrote it. Last week I asked "Who would you have turned heel at Invasion and Why?" I got lots of good responses but I can only fit a few so here it goes. Drew Spann writes "Jericho... Period. After the build up of the defection it would be amazing to have seen it come true. Austin has been turning too often to tell, or to care. To make it worse I doubt that Austin will ever be seen as a full heel, getting nothing but boos... Jericho on the other hand is a falling stock. He is just wasting time between ideas right now. He could cut killer promos and destroy fans in moments... anyone that has seen Jericho in WCW has seen that he can turn out even the deadest crowds. It would give a new view on him, make his character deeper, allow him to pull off new moves, and more time to shine. Again the defection idea from king of the ring would have made the perfect set up. Josh wrote "I say that Stone Cold was the right man for the job. I mean no other WWF superstar would have generated as much heat for the jump as Stone Cold did unless of course it were say...The Rock, but he wasn't around then so Austin was a good choice and the right choice. I just hope this angle continues to go good and nothing gets screwed up like we've seen angles get messed up in the past..." MHJ wrote "In your column, you asked readers : "Who would you have had the WWF turn heel at Invasion and why?". I would say Kane. This may seems weird at first, but just think about it for while. Kane is nothing more than the young brother of the Undertaker in the eyes of many fans and he will never have a decent push if he doesn't get rid of this. So why not turning him down a sell-out for ECW/WCW and making him a huge heel?? This way a line would have been drawn between Taker and Kane, the Big Red Machine would have been more than just the little Taker number 2 and we could have seen his potential fully." DVD Review As some of you may know I reviewed Sports Entertainment DVD's on the Phat Pharm. My column here on LOP will be no different because I am going to review one today as well. Before I start let me explain why I'm reviewing Sports Entertainment DVD's. The first reason I do it is because there aren't any columns out there that do it to begin with. Sports Entertainment DVD's always have extra stuff on them that you can't see if you watch the VHS version. What kind of extra stuff you might be asking? Well how bout extra matches,bios,video montages,promos,etc. The second reason I do it is because I have fun doing it. If you have a problem with me reviewing these DVD's then put it on your tough shit list and don't read em. I'm not just going to review wrestling DVD's I will also review some UFC and Pride DVD's as well. Oh yeah if you might see some pictures that I took directly off my tv. I know the quality is crap and that is because I'm using my free Digital Camera with crappy resolution. I dont have the hookup for my good digital camera to take screenshots but soon I will. Anyway let's get to the review. FMW: The Legend Dawns For those who aren't familiar with FMW it stands for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling. It's pretty violent and they are known for doing crazy crazy stuff. The DVD starts off with a little introduction with all the wrestlers that you will be seeing on the FMW DVD's. Pretty poor production thus far. Then we are introduced to our hosts Johnny Watanabe and Eric Geller. These two have to be the worst at calling matches ever in the history of wrestling. I'm not exaggerating when I say this either. It's hard to describe how bad these two are through words so you'd have to watch the DVD to understand. Sub Miss Vs Bad Nurse Unlike the Women's wrestling here in North America the women in Japan are brutal to each other. There is none of this hair pulling, slapping, and of course there are no Bra & Panties matches. This was a decent women's match with a few stiff moves. Bad Nurse won with a german suplex. To tell you the truth I'd rather watch a good ol' WWF Bra & Panties match. Lame story behind the match For some reason that I haven't determined yet Watanabe and Geller have to make up some really piss poor story of why the two people in the ring are fighting or they just make a lame gimmick for the wrestler. It takes them about 75% of the match to tell because they are making it up as they go. Seriously these stories are terrible. The Lame story behind this match was that Bad Nurse stole another female wrestler named Mother-In-Law's bra. A fight ensues between the two all the way to a sushi restaurant. Then the police show up and they both get arrested. The match was supposed to be Bad Nurse Vs Mother In Law but Sub Miss wanted to defend the honor of Mother In Law so she begged to be the replacement. And you thought WCW had bad storylines. Hito & Super Leather Vs Ricky Fuji & CPA (Horace Hogan) Before the match starts we are shown some really bad promos from both teams. For those of you who have never seen any FMW Leatherface is a wrestler who's gimmick is based off of Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. During this promo he just waves his chainsaw into the camera and yells…….very nice. Then we get to good ol' CPA Horace Hogan. You can't help but laugh at how dumb Horace Hogan looks and sounds in this promo. Seriously it's worth at least renting this DVD just to get a good laugh at Horace's expense. To my surprise a pretty well worked match. Of course no FMW match would be complete without outside the ring shenanigans. Weak chair shots, ddt's on metal, and of course the breaking of oak tables that are about an inch thick. Very cool looking inverted tombstone by Hito in this match. It ends when Fuji makes Hito tap out from a reverse arm bar or as the great commentators said "a submission hold" Nothing really memorable at all but like I said the match was worked well.  Here is a picture of Leatherface and his chainsaw. Lame story behind the match Ugghhhhh I don't even want to type it because it's so damn terrible. I'm going to try and make it as short and painless as possible. Evidently CPA Horace Hogan was laundering money for the mob without knowing it and had to go to jail. In jail he met up with none other than Ricky Fuji and taught him how to speak English. Then after he got out of jail the mob sent their number 1 hit man out to kill CPA. Who is the Number 1 hit man you might ask? Leatherface of course whose mask is made out of the flesh of FBI agents. No seriously you thought WCW had bad storylines? The Shark Vs Nagume Kudo This Kudo impressed the hell out of me in this match. Lots of quick reversals and wrestled a real athletic style. One spot that was memorable was the springboard frankensteiner off the ropes by Kudo. This was very well performed and I've never seen it done while walking the ropes. After a million poorly executed run-ins Kudo gets the win with a german suplex. I guess those girls really like the german suplex. After the match Sub-Miss runs in with a barbwire kendo stick only to get a green mist in the eyes. Lame story behind the match Apparently the Shark lived on an island since World War II under secret Japanese military training. The island was so remote she didn't know the war ended and has been training ever since. She ate a special herb to keep her young all this time. Then one day a real estate developer came to the island and she found out the war was over. She now is wrestling FMW to get people respect and Kudo is her next "victim". Niyama & Hayabusa Vs Mike "Gladiator" Awesome & Ooya More great promos before the match to get me pumped to see it. I just love reading subtitles!! Mike Awesome basically yells the whole time while the rest just talk smack. The craziness begins when Awesome and Hayabusa get in the ring together. Awesome almost kills him with an overhead belly to bell suplex. Ooya and Haybusa tumble a bit and Hayabusa gets Ooya in a very nice looking STF. Hayabusa slips trying to do a moonsault to the outside of the ring and 75% of his body just smacks the ground. I had heard a lot about Hayabusa before watching this and I'm not really impressed at all. He has skill don't get me wrong, but he is not anything great. He misses his high-flying moves half the time. Hayabusa and Niyama get the win after a hurricanrada to Awesome. What's greater than the match is the after match promo. Mike Awesome gives us another quotable quote when he says "Hayabusa I'm gonna beat your god damned brains in. I'm sick of your shit and your gonna die" Lame story behind the match Mike Awesome is a marine…….nuff said Matsonaga Vs Mr.Pogo - Death Match Oh My God did I just watch this match? Seriously this has to be one of the most brutal matches I've ever seen. Lot's of barbwire in this match. Wrapped around fists, around baseball bats, and on pieces of wood. Then Mr.Pogo brings on a friggin blade that is about a foot long. He takes this blade and sticks it in Matsonaga's head. Then he scraped the knife back and forth over his forehead. You can actually see the blade about ½ inch stuck in the guy's head. Now Mr.Pogo takes a blowtorch and heats up his knives and goes back to sticking the blade into Matsonaga's head. Oh wait Mr.Pogo isn't done. He pours lighter fluid all over Matsonaga, takes some of the fluid in his mouth, and then blows a huge fireball onto Matsonaga setting him on fire. Keep in mind he only has one layer of clothing on and none of that special gel. Mr.Pogo wins and I may throw up. They show Matsonaga in the back after this match with the skin on his back all burned up. Lame story behind the match Mr.Pogo used to be a great chef. Used to be of course until his plane crashed into the Andes Mountains. A huge fan of Mr.Pogo's TV show just so happened to be a devil worshiper. This devil worshiper makes a potion to bring Mr.Pogo back to life. The only side effect from the potion was that it made Mr.Pogo a bad bad man. They actually gave no reason for the two to fight, but I just thought I'd share this little story with you. W*ING Kaneumura Vs Tanaka Since the first time I saw Tanaka in ECW I've been a fan of his. This match was actually pretty good, but it was very short. Apparently this was the finals for some tournament that they held, but of course the commentators won't give any insight on it. Tanaka was selling a leg injury he suffered in an earlier match I'm guessing. Tanaka gets the win after a sitout powerbomb. Lame story behind the match Evidently Kaneumura was a circus clown. He loved children and loved being a clown. Then one day he woke up and his face was all broken out and red from his clown face paint. It turns out he was allergic to the face paint and had to give up his career as a clown. Now to get out all of his aggressions he came to FMW. CPA Horace Hogan & Mr.Pogo Vs Super Leather & Matsunaga Casket Death Match The tone of this match was set when the first thing they show is a casket sitting in the middle of the ring. Within the first minute of this match Horace Hogan gets busted open. What gets me the most is he didn't do anything to get busted open. He threw a table at Leatherface and the next thing I know he's busted open…..strange. The great Mr.Pogo blade is back in this match and he does the usual and slices open Matsunaga's forehead. After a powerbomb into the casket by CPA to Matsunaga the close the lid on the cardboard box….errr I mean casket and the ref counts to ten. The winners CPA & Mr. Pogo. After the match Mr.Pogo nails the "casket" shut and covers it in lighter fluid. Thank goodness W*ING Kaneumura comes out and makes the save. Lame story behind the match I've covered all these guys already I believe Mike Awesome Vs Hayabusa There was a bit of ring psychology in this match with Hayabusa working on Awesome's arm and Awesome working on Hayabusa's neck. Unfortunately I don't think Awesome working on Hayabusa's neck was intentional. He messed up two powerbombs, one german suplex, and one overhead belly to belly suplex. I'm surprised Hayabusa isn't dead after this match. Actually I'm surprised Hayabusa isn't dead after this botched move.  He was trying to do a shooting star press and it didn't quite work out. I have no idea how he got back up after that but he did. I've never seen a neck bend quite like that and by all rights he should be paralyzed. Awesome gets the win with an Awesome Bomb off the top rope. Lame story behind the match I already mentioned about Gladiator being a Marine, but this feud is an actual feud. It seems it's a long running one off the premise that the two guys just don't like each other. You see you don't need lame gimmicked storylines when you can just use the classic I hate you story. THE EXTRAS **Bonus Match** Tanaka Vs Koji Nakagawa Let me say that Tanaka does some picture perfect dropkicks, and they never miss. Some good groundwork in this match with nice reversals by both men. This match looked like it left both men exhausted because it was constant action with no showboating. The thing I like a lot about Tanaka is that his matches are pretty much all different. Sure he has a few moves that he always uses like his roaring elbow and diamond dust, but for the most part he is very unique in his matches. Tanaka gets the win with the roaring elbow. What was great about his match was the fact that it was all in Japanese and I didn't have to listen to those two idiots try and call a match. History of FMW A very nice text explaining how FMW got started and what it is all about. It even has a timeline of important events in FMW history. A good feature for those who know very little about FMW like myself. Gallery It has a picture of some of the starts in FMW. When you hit enter on each persons picture it displays a brief biography Hayabusa Feature A nice little montage of a bunch of Hayabusa high spots. It even shows what he looks like without his mask. Let me say it's a good think he wears the damn thing cause the guy is damn ugly. The narration of this 5-minute feature is in Japanese so I don't know what is being said Snake Sister Skits After some of the matches the two dumbass announcers go to a little FMW set with two girls. They basically teach how to do moves but very poorly. The first move that is shown is the wrist lock…….good god it is horrible. . The second is a boston crab that looks like crap. Seriously why did they have to put these on the DVD? Trailers Buy the DVD for these alone! What are they you might ask? Tokyopop,the makers of this DVD, have other project coming out on DVD that they want us to spend out hard earned money on. You don't understand how terrible these things are. I don't know what you call below B movie but these are it. Let's just say one movie is about alien penis monsters that attack a school so the girls defend themselves with mops. Yes……mops. Great for a laugh I must say The Final Verdict I like Japanese wrestling but I hate garbage wrestling. FMW is a mixture of the two, but there is more garbage wrestling than anything else. When you take a foot long blade and carve open a guys head then there is something wrong. More than half of the wrestlers there have huge mounds on their head where the scar tissue just keeps building up, and it's gross. The commentary is horrid. I've already mentioned, but they don't know the names of moves and half the time they aren't even calling the match. The history of FMW and the bonus match are some good extra's for the DVD,but the rest of the extras are just pointless. I have to come up with a better rating scale because mine just sucks. I use the Excellent,Great,Good,Fair,Poor scale. Please help me come up with something better. Anyway for this DVD I'm giving it a Fair. There are two good matches on it and there is a lot of comedy on the DVD as well. A lot of this comedy comes from the really bad promos, but it's comedy nonetheless. The production on this DVD is very poor as well. Give it a rental if you have nothing to do for a few hours, but DON'T BUY IT!! MY Wrestling Wish List Here is my list of things I wish happen soon in wrestling 1. We get a singles match for the main event at SummerSlam 2. WWF signs more ECW WCW guys 3. Ratings stay up 4. Rock doesnt wrestle till SummerSlam 5. Austin fully recovers soon 6. Tag Team Title scene get's hot once again 7. X-Pac get's lost in the woods never to be heard from again 8. Josh doesn't get kicked off Tough Enough 9. HBK returns soon ================================= Well another column in the books and I hope you all liked it. Send your comments,questions,and suggestions to NYYanks24@mediaone.netand I'll be sure to get back to you. Also I have a request to all you people that are good with Photoshop. I'm not terrible at it but I'm just lazy it would be nice to have a few logos for the weeks that I don't feel like making em. So if you would like to make me one that would be cool and I'll give you full credit. Until next week Lets go Yankees!!!!
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