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Submitted by Wiggey on Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 1:07 PM EST
Hello everyone! Refusing to Job is back! Like a healthy shot to the groin. Guess what? RTJ is late, I know. Just a busy week. Hey, I'm going to bitch and complain about my life for a little while, so if you don't want to read it, ignore this. *Wiggey bitches about personal problems, life, work, and other stuff* Glad I got that off my chest! Column wise, I have InVasion predictions, like every other internet wrestling columnist, BUT! I have a nice little twist to 'em. I also got some info on Blitzkrieg, and some other caca. So, strap on your Hulk Hogan absorbent undergarments, and let the mayhem begin! Hm, where to start? First off, I would just like to say what Steph said to Freddy Blassie was just wrong! What the hell. All I read was, "Well, Freddy said was fine with him". Oh please, just because it was fine with him, doesn't make it right. I found it VERY rude, and disrespectful. I'm sure that made Freddy's day! "Hey, I'm going to die soon! Why don't we put over some heels with it?! Hooray! If this is my last appearance on WWF T.V, this is how I want it to end!" Ya, right. That was just wrong. The other big news story that broke, is the WWF is going to lay off around 20-30 wrestlers. What a shame. I'm sure a lot of these wrestlers would have time to wrestle, and get over, if there wasn't a half an hour promo to start each show, just to get Vince McMahon or ANY McMahon for that matter, over. I don't mind the promo's now and then, but EVERY week. Ugh. But, I have to be negative. The InVasion is going great, now. Before, the InVasion started out slow, but it's going pretty good, at the current time. The only thing I'm scared, is if Vince doesn't like the ratings, and totally bails the InVasion. If team WCW/ECW win this Sunday, I don't know how they are going to carry on the InVasion storyline. I smell a turn on the team WWF side! I heard Smackdown!(!!!!) was an awesome show. I'm really getting pissed. If anyone knows a way to get UPN on direct T.V, e-mail me. Or, should I just send an e-mail to Direct T.V and bitch? The WWF is interested in Scott Steiner! Yes! I don't care what anyone says, Scott Steiner in the WWF would make great T.V. The guy has always seemed like more of a WWF wrestler to me. With this current look, wrestling style, etc. Would I ever mark out if Scott showed up at InVasion. Speaking of InVasion, I'm actually going to order it! The first PPV I've gotten since Wrestlemania X-7. It better be good. I also read on LoP, that Our Lady Peace is going to record Chris Benoit's new theme. That's great and all, but why are the WWF whoring out to all these bands people know about? OLP, Marilyn Manson, LIMP BIZKIT?!? Ugh, get some newer bands up there. I don't want to listen to Limp Bizkit! Limp is pathetic. I mean, Slayer and The Union Underground are going to be on it, that'll kick ass, but I wish the WWF would give more info out on the CD. I'm really interested in it, sounds like it'll be pretty good..excluding Limp Bizkit. If the WWF gets Crazy Town and Linkin' Park on it, I think I might go crazy. Last week, I asked you readers if you had any info on Blitzkrieg, a former WCW star. Man, that guy was awesome. I got a lot of responses, along with my biggest hit column to date, so thanks for everyone who read it. Some of the explanations I got were.. I got a few saying, he's still wrestling! Yeup, he's wrestling in Japan. Maybe? I got some saying he still wrestles as one of the Yung Dragons. One e-mail said he's retired, but he lives in South Carolina, and was going to wrestle at a recent card, but didn't. A few said he's wrestling in Mexico. Another e-mail said he's retired, and living as a computer programmer. Either way you look at it, you can tell it's still up in the air. Note - This was done in AIM RefusingToJob: Like I said, I'd have a little surprise for my invasion predictions. Well, everyone..welcome ShaneOmacK from the Phat Pharm! RefusingToJob: *ShaneOmacK's theme plays, and a tumbleweed blows by, ala DDP* TLKShaneOmacK: You bet, this is ShaneOmacK here, Pharm groomed and ready for Invasion on the only column that is half as good as TLK, RTJ! RefusingToJob: Alrite, lets get to it. Our first match is Earl Hebner v.s Nick Patrick. Which will be a battle of the refs. TLKShaneOmacK: Ugh, booked for entertainment purposes hopefully, what a mess it has the potential to be. RefusingToJob: Ya, but the question is, who's going to ref the match? TLKShaneOmacK: This match sort of pisses in my throat, but I'm guessing it won't even really be a match, just a little brawl. RefusingToJob: I see a DQ finish, how 'bout you? TLKShaneOmacK: Yeah, something corny is going to happen in it, unless Hebner hits his quick spear to get the agony over. DQ finish. RefusingToJob: Ya, moving on, it's the battle of the former ECW elite, Tazz v.s Tajiri. TLKShaneOmacK: Oh, are those ECW hard-on's as stiff as ever. RefusingToJob: I suppose so. All the ECW marks were blowing their loads when they heard about this match. TLKShaneOmacK: I think Taz(z) and Tajiri were in the main event of the first ever ECW on TNN, which I have no clue who won. I want to know why Tazz even started picking on Tajiri in the first place? RefusingToJob: I think Tazz might go back to his old ECW ways, and just suplex the shit out of Tajiri. Tajiri isn't that tall, so he can sell the suplex's good. RefusingToJob: It's hard to pick a winner in this, but I'm going with Tajiri. TLKShaneOmacK: Yeah, I bet Tajiri will unleash his new move, the Green Piss. Don't ask for an explanation. I'll go with Tazz, just to piss you off. RefusingToJob: Ya? Well, piss off asswhore. TLKShaneOmacK: Watch it, sex gremlin. RefusingToJob: Oh? Go suck on some Hogan nipples. The next match is X-Pac v.s Billy "Please push me" Kidman. TLKShaneOmacK: This match has sure been hyped, it has gotten more TV time than a McMahon could dream of. RefusingToJob: Ya, there seemed to be too many promo's for it. TLKShaneOmacK: Uh huh, I'm thinking Syxx Pac will have to take this one, since Kidman is so oily and greasy looking for my liking. RefusingToJob: Hm, I'm sure the crowd will boo X-Pac, because he's just SOOOO over as a heel. With the push X-Pac is getting, I think X-Pac will win this. TLKShaneOmacK: Plus, X-Pac is funbutton buddies with HHH, whose finisher Kidman does backwards. RefusingToJob: The next match could be one of the more solid matches on the whole card. It will be Edge & Christian v.s Mike Awesome & Lance Storm TLKShaneOmacK: Woohoo! Team Awesomeness vs. The Team with Awesome RefusingToJob: Ya, you're buddy this one. TLKShaneOmacK: Lance Storm is 'da shit. I'm going to go against the flow of urine here and pick so we can get a little Impact Player action. RefusingToJob: Hm, I'll have to disagree with you. I think Edge & Christian will win this one, how? Who the hell cares? But, I think they'll win. TLKShaneOmacK: Oh, yes, Russel Crowe and Mike Awesome, last weeks featured Look-a-likes on TLK. Who will be the next look-a-likes on Thursday? Nobody knows but me! Oh the suspense! RefusingToJob: Ya, whore out your column some more. TLKShaneOmacK: I plan on it. RefusingToJob: The next match is a clash of styles, which don't mix that well. It'll be APA v.s Chuck Palumbo & Sean O'Haire. RefusingToJob: From what I've seen and heard, these guys can't put on a good match if they wanted to. RefusingToJob: They just can't work a good match, like Regal and Jericho. TLKShaneOmacK: I, personally, don't see any way in hell Palumbo & O'Haire can pull off the upset, unless Meat and Jindrak get involved, if they are even a team still. TLKShaneOmacK: Hey, the Duchess match was good... RefusingToJob: True, but, I'm going against the grain. I think something will happen and Chuck Palumbo & Sean O'Haire will win, plus, just to piss you off. TLKShaneOmacK: Going against the grain or against the flow of urine, as I like to say. Guess what, I'm picking Palumbo and O'Haire too! Booyah! RefusingToJob: The next match is the one EVERYONE is looking forward to - Hardcore Championship: Rob Van Dam v.s Jeff Hardy TLKShaneOmacK: The Whole F'n Show vs. the Kool Aid Haired flippin' suicide machine. TLKShaneOmacK: I have a feeling this will be a true hardcore match, not this Crash Holly trashcan lid type of shit. RefusingToJob: Mr. Monday night v.s Mr. I'm always injuried RefusingToJob: Hopefully RefusingToJob: You better not talk about Crash Holly. RefusingToJob: He isn't a jobber. TLKShaneOmacK: But he works through his injuries, so give the guy his props. I see lots of high spots, some higher spots, some ladders, some chairs, some more high spots. RefusingToJob: Plus, he'll rant about you. TLKShaneOmacK: He's entertaining! RefusingToJob: Some more high spots? You mean RVD high spots? TLKShaneOmacK: But, this RVD/Hardy match will probably be TLC style.. which sort of reminds me of TLK, a great column on the Phat Pharm! Check it out! *cheap pop* RefusingToJob: *RVD takes a bong hit before his match with Jeff Hardy* TLKShaneOmacK: Who knows more about HIGH spots than RVD? RefusingToJob: I have no clue RefusingToJob: I'm going to say Mr. RVD wins this match up, hopefully to further the RVD v.s Jeff Hardy feud. TLKShaneOmacK: I'm going to stick a tube down that, simply because new guys always get whipped in their first few matches to "pay their dues." I'm going with Jeff "I get Wiggey" HARDy. RefusingToJob: You are a sick fuck, aren't you? TLKShaneOmacK: Haha, move along, assmidget slut. RefusingToJob: Ok, shit bag. TLKShaneOmacK: *cough* Flair tits *cough* RefusingToJob: The next match, well..not really a match, is the Bra and Panties "match". It's Trish "I"m not flat chested" Stratus & Lita v.s Stacy Keibler & Torrie "I saw Mr. McMahon's flabby boobs" Wilson. TLKShaneOmacK: Does Jerry Lawler know what he's missing? The guy would probably have an aneurysm in this match! RefusingToJob: He probably would. TLKShaneOmacK: Hmm.. maybe Chyna will come out before this, cut one of her remarkable and dazzling promos, and the one who wins this match gets the Women's Title? RefusingToJob: I'm not sure. RefusingToJob: Maybe Chyna will finally admit she's *it?* a man? RefusingToJob: Or, maybe she can tell us a story, so we can pity her some more? TLKShaneOmacK: Or maybe we'll see the return of the beloved RTC with Steven Richards censoring all of the bouncing flesh! Who knows? TLKShaneOmacK: Maybe she'll carve off more of her chin and sell it on street corners for a buck a pound? RefusingToJob: Who knows? I bet it won't be long before she's on eBay, along with Road Dogg, having people bid to meet them. TLKShaneOmacK: Or... maybe Dawn Marie and Francine will show up and kick some ass or show some ass!? OOOH THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS! RefusingToJob: Yes, they are. RefusingToJob: But, I see Trish and Lita winning it. TLKShaneOmacK: She's got a new website up, bodybyjoanie.com, and rumor has it that it's got her 4 easy steps to full penile removal. TLKShaneOmacK: Hm, I see Trish "the dish" and Lita on top in this match, and also on top of me. RefusingToJob: You wish RefusingToJob: I think Chyna is more suited to be on top of you RefusingToJob: Or giving it to you in the ass. TLKShaneOmacK: Haha, just back off and I won't tell anyone about the baggy under your bed containing Chyna's actual penis she had removed. RefusingToJob: Ok, last match. The Inaugural Brawl. Team WWF - Austin "I'm suddenly a face", Angle, Kane, Taker, and Chris Jericho V.S Team WCW/ECW - Booker T, DDP, The Dudleyz, and Rhyno TLKShaneOmacK: Lets break it down TLK style (TLK stand for Tables, Ladders, and Keyboards, a column on the Phat Pharm, ditch this stupid column and read TLK NOW!) TLKShaneOmacK: Is this match just one pinfall or elimination style? RefusingToJob: Hey now! Go whore your column on eBay like Road Dogg. RefusingToJob: ..I'm not sure. RefusingToJob: The WWF is full of details. TLKShaneOmacK: Oh, well, you must have done lots of research before doing this. RefusingToJob: Oh ya..about..2 seconds, let me go check their shitty site and see. TLKShaneOmacK: Well, I see Undertaker kicking Page's ass, Rhyno goring Kane's KFC ass into his Issaac Yankem dentist chair... RefusingToJob: It doesn't say RefusingToJob: Maybe Austin will stomp a mud hole into G.I Bro's ass? TLKShaneOmacK: Angle will do something cool, and cry tears of joy. The Dudleyz will hit their "move formerly known as the wassup drop" as well as a 3D on Y2J. RefusingToJob: Well, if I could get serious for a moment. I think Vince will probably drop the whole InVasioin angle, unless if someone turns on team WWF. TLKShaneOmacK: Booker will get one big move in on Austin, perhaps a ghetto kick followed by.. Mark Madden, you do the honors.. SSSPINEROOOOOOONIIIIIIII!!!!!!! RefusingToJob: Vince wasn't happy the ratings didn't shoot up to 4395748943 so, he's probably pretty pissed. RefusingToJob: So, if no one turns, the whole idea will be dropped. TLKShaneOmacK: Which I was about to get to. The only way this match will be worth the while is if someone turns or some big name WCW star shows up to bust ass. RefusingToJob: Which would be a shame. RefusingToJob: Ya, that's the only way this is going to continue. TLKShaneOmacK: Yeah. Someone will turn, or someone will return. RefusingToJob: Maybe Scott Steiner will show up? TLKShaneOmacK: Crowd: Rocky, Rocky, Rocky. Shane: SHUT THE FUCK UP! RefusingToJob: How damn cool would that be? RefusingToJob: Oh yes, I'm sure The Rock would turn on team WWF. TLKShaneOmacK: That would be great, lead a posse of freaks to the ring with his lead pipe. RefusingToJob: Considering he's never been in WCW or ECW. TLKShaneOmacK: He has, you just don't remember it. He was in ECW under the alias of Big Sal. RefusingToJob: I think you have Big Show's, Big Sal in your ass lately. TLKShaneOmacK: Also in WCW under the gimmick Ralphus.k TLKShaneOmacK: Wiggey, I'll tell them about the time you speared that giant penis and then stuck your hand down into his head. RefusingToJob: Ok, Mr. Hughes TLKShaneOmacK: Now, unlike Wiggey, I'm not picking my ass, I'm picking team WCW/ECW. RefusingToJob: Ya? Well, go and eat out Viscera's ass hole. RefusingToJob: Yes, I'm going with team WCW/ECW and someone turning on team WWF. TLKShaneOmacK: Dude, I was kidding when I told you to widen it to the size of a cereal bowl. RefusingToJob: If Vince gives the storyline time, I'm sure the ratings will go up. TLKShaneOmacK: Yes. But, how would he drop the angle? Fire all the WCW guys and pretend it didn't happen? RefusingToJob: Ugh, well, that's it for InVasion predictions. If you'd like to read ShaneOmacK's shitty column go to href="http://www.mrtito.lordsofpain.net/phatpharm"> here and readom some shit on the Pharm. TLKShaneOmacK: Wait! RefusingToJob: As for you ShaneoMack, go back on the street and whore your self some more. TLKShaneOmacK: Lets go over our picks first. RefusingToJob: No, go to hell! TLKShaneOmacK: Hang on man, my corner isn't busy for a few more hours. RefusingToJob: Fine TLKShaneOmacK: I took DQ on the Ref match, Tazz, Xpac, Team Canada, APA, Jeff Hardy, Lita and Trish, and Team ECW/WCW. TLKShaneOmacK: Now, waiting for you to tally up your licks.. I mean picks. RefusingToJob: Ya? Well, I took the DQ in the Ref match, Tajiri, X-pac, Edge and Christian, Palumbo & O'Haire, RVD Lita and Trish, and Team WCW/ECW. RefusingToJob: I'd like to thank ShaneOmacK for doing the Invasion predictions with me. TLKShaneOmacK: Haha, man you suck. Anyway, I guess that about wraps it up like you wrapped up naked Mideon in plastic wrap. TLKShaneOmacK: I'd like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to whore myself to the RTJ readers. I have a feeling little teenage boys, the kind you are into, will be IMing me left and right saying "whats up shitty butt." RefusingToJob: Yeup, if you'd like to e-mail ShaneOmacK, it's href="mailto:Shaneomack@lordsofpain.net"> tell him how much his column sucks, and how much mine rules. Read his column href="http://www.mrtito.lordsofpain.net/phatpharm"> here and if this gets enough feedback, maybe we'll do this again? RefusingToJob: alrite, Mr. Shitty Butt, that you got from me. RefusingToJob: Ho bag TLKShaneOmacK: That isn't enough from me, shit pants. RefusingToJob: Go to your corner, and whore your self. RefusingToJob: Well, I have to go take a shit, so plug your column or something TLKShaneOmacK: Tables and Ladders and Keyboards, OH MY! TLKShaneOmacK: Read it, as on Monday I have a kick-ass column lined up, that bitches will be calling "a good read" for years to come. Plus, on Monday the TLK Archive will return! Muahahaha! I can't stop my insanity! TLKShaneOmacK: *ShaneOmacK ditches this shitbag column to go read some old TLK, because it's that damn good* Well, when I got back from taking a dump, ShaneOmacK was gone. So, if you'd like, go read his column, he plugged it enough for you to find a link. Ah, another Week, another band! Today's Band is another Band that is requested a helluva lot. Very heavy, very talented, and well..just kick ass! I give you this week's Band of the Week... Yes, Vision of Disorder. Former RoadRunner band, now a TVT one. These guys are great. Great blend of melody and heavy music. Front man Tim Williams can actually sing, something rare in the hardcore scene. Good guitar work, also makes this band great. Drumming is top notch. They got a new CD coming out, "From Bliss to Devastation" I'm hoping to pick it up. For now, you can download some tracks. :) I suggest: Element, What you are, Suffer, Southbound Check out their offical site at - http://www.vod.com. Well, another column in the books! Lots of humor this week. Next week, I got a good column instore too. Took me a while to think of a good topic, but I got one. So, stay tuned. If you want to e-mail me, it's href="mailto:Wiggey@lordsofpain.net"> Wiggey@lordsofpain.net I reply to all e-mail. Also, I'm sorry I wasn't on AIM much. Me and ShaneOmacK didn't really get all situated to do the InVasion predictions for a while. But, I'll be on it more. If you ever see me on AIM, give me a ring. Also, if you have a band, and want some exposure, I could always think about your Band for Band of the Week. But, I'll need at least a few MP3's, and if you are willing to send a CD to me, that's even more helpful. Either way, I'll catch you guys next week. Later. ~Wiggey Ruling with a Green Iron Fist
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