"The immortality of my fame is the measure of others torture."--Gza
"Breaker, Breaker"

Oh hell yeah. Welcome to the fourth edition of "The Unspoken Word." For
today's column, I'm going to copy and paste another guy's column and make a
lame insult after every paragraph. Just kidding, only worthless
bottomfeeding losers do that, like Tight Ass from
wrestlingsitenoonesheardof.com. I do appreciate the free promotion, but I
wish parents would keep a better eye on their children. But I
digress....there's a lot of stuff that needs to be covered, so let's get
this thing started... Here's how this issue is broken down:

A--Rant of the Week
B--Here's A Thought
C--King of the Ring Predictions
D--The Wrestling Minute

RANT OF THE WEEK:

Stalking the Invasion

Surprise, surprise, surprise. The identity of Sara's Stalker has finally
been revealed, and I think its safe to say NOBODY saw it coming. I think
it's a fantastic idea. What better way to bring DDP into the WWF? By
interfering in a Test match? Please. The only problem is that DDP may
suffer some "Jericho Syndrome."

Je*ri*cho Syn*drome n : When a popular wrestler who
previously competed in a rival federation is brought in to a new federation
to play a heel; the crowd becomes confused, blurring their appreciation of
the wrestler with his actions in an angle.

That's right, when DDP revealed himself as the stalker, the crowd POPPED.
Wow, if I would have known voyeurism was so appreciated I would have been
camping outside girls' bedroom windows with binoculars and Kleenexes a long
time ago. ANYWAY...I'm looking forward to seeing how this angle plays out
in the future. It's going to be very interesting to see if there is any
chemistry between DDP and Undertaker in the ring and the ever popular
backstage segments. I'm hoping this will provide the spark to Undertaker's
career he so desperately needs, and also feeds DDP a winning angle for which
DDP to develop his new persona.

Only one problem...the WWF is pushing WCW as an ultra-face federation.
The announcers said that DDP is from WCW, and this is not what the WWF
needs. A large majority of the WWF fans hated WCW with a passion prior to
the signing. Now, with the federation folded and firmly under Vince's
grasp, the WWF is pushing hard to make WCW appealing. DDP is an obvious WCW
Superstar, and he comitted heinous actions against one of the WWF's top
faces, The Undertaker. The WWF needs to quickly play out an angle in which
Shane fires Page from WCW, only for him to sign with the WWF, and fast. If
this is not done, the entire buildup to WCW as a face federation is going to
be completely lost. The stalker angle is easily the number two angle on WWF
television, and DDP's HEEL debut in this angle is higher in the card than
any other WCW wrestler's FACE run in. It's damn important for the WWF to
turn DDP against WCW fast.

Speaking of the WCW Invasion.....its becoming mad confusing. I mean, ever
if there IS a 8 man WCW vs. WWF match at the Invasion PPV, will it even
matter? What are they going to be fighting over? Will it be four select
WCW face wrestlers against four WWF heel wrestlers? The top four ACTIVE WWF
heels are Stone Cold, Kurt Angle, William Regal, and...god, I don't
know...Rhyno? Big Show? Steven Richards? And who are the WCW four going
to be? Lance Storm, Hugh Morris, Booker T and...DDP?

On paper, a WCW Invasion looks great. Readers think:
Goldberg/Sting/Booker T/Storm vs. Austin/Rock/HHH/Taker, but that just isn't
going to be the case. The writing on this WCW Invasion has to be done very
delicately in order to maintain the balance between heels and faces within
each seperate federation. I'm not trying to shit on the idea of an
Invasion, I'm just trying to point out that the idea isn't as gravy as it
seems. WWF will have choose the perfect players from each federation to
make it work and increase those damn ratings everybody likes to talk so much
about. The midcard cannot suffer as a result of the invasion, or else more
will be lost than will be gained.

HERE'S A THOUGHT:

If Perry Saturn knew his catchphrase would be "You're Welcome" before
signing to the WWF, would he have signed at all?

KING OF THE RING PREDICTIONS:

Last pay per view, I was 60% accurate with my predictions. My goal is to
beat it, and its really the only goal I have in life anymore.

Since I do my column on Wednesday, and the WWF is the master of
procastinative booking, there will undoubtedly be more matches than what I
list. So...incase Kane defends his title, I predict he will win, ok?

Kurt Angle vs Christian (KOR Semifinal)
Winner: Kurt Angle
--I really can't see Christian going over our Olympic hero. After all, out
of the three remaining finalists, he is the least deserving of going over
Kurt. Also, I believe the logical move for an Edge and Christian breakup
would be for Edge to turn face and for Christian to turn heel. This plan
would be shattered with a Christian win over Angle.

Rhyno vs. Edge (KOR Semifinal)
Winner: Edge
--Edge will win for three reasons. One, he has seniority over the WWF
rookie Rhyno (I said WWF rookie, not wrestling rookie). Second, Edge has
always been hyped by WWF personel and retired wrestlers as "the next big
star." Third, he just totally reeks of awesomeness. (Sorry, I had to do
it.)

KOR Final: Kurt Angle vs. Edge
Winner and new King of the Ring: Edge
--I strongly feel that this is the point at which Edge will be pushed hard
as a face or heel singles competitor (hopefully a face). Kurt Angle has
virtually every fan convinced that he will win this year's King of the Ring
a second time, but I disagree. The KOR tournament is generally used to give
the most deserving midcarder a titanic push. (Angle, HHH, SCSA). Kurt
Angle has been pushed to the moon and he's over. Who has ever heard of a
wrestler who was WWF World Champion earlier in the year win a KOR?! I
haven't. If Angle won, it would totally defeat the purpose of the
tournament. I think the WWF was planning to have Edge win all along, and
throw Angle in to confuse everybody. Edge will win, and that my friends, is
true.

Kurt Angle vs. Shane McMahon (Street Fight)
Winner: Kurt Angle
--This is extremely tough to call. My reasoning is that the WWF is going to
spark a WCW Invasion with this match. In the past, storylines were at their
most interesting when the heel has a win over the face and the face is
playing catch-up. I think Kurt will win and brag about it, while Shane
comes out with his troops, and so forth.

Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit (World Title
Match):
Winner and new WWF World Champion: Chris Benoit
It's hard to bet against Austin...it really is. However, after reading how
Smackdown ends, I'm inclined to bet against him. I think it will cause
friction between Austin and McMahon, teasing a return to the Stone Cold of
old, but not giving one....that might make for intersting television. Also,
due to the low ratings and uncanny resemblance to how WCW faired after their
peak, I think the WWF will take their own advice: Push the younger talent.
Chris Jericho is my favorite WWF wrestler--I'll say that right now. From
mic skills to entrance theme to charisma to his in ring work, I'm a fan.
However....Y2J might very well turn heel soon. Chris Benoit is just
beginning to reap the benefits of his face turn. Also, Benoit is damn near
flawless in the ring, and does whatever management says without question.
Need I mention his INSANE spots on that classic RAW Cage Match? I think the
time has finally come for a new World Champion, and that World Champion will
be the Rabid Wolverine.

THE WRESTLING MINUTE:
This is my version of David Spade's Hollywood Minute, except I mock
wrestling news.

--Does anyone else find it ridiculous that TSN airs crowd shots during tame
violence on RAW? I mean, what's more offensive to the viewer, a Stone Cold
Stunner on Molly that does not hurt her in real life, or shots of drunks in
the crowd with "Smokin Since 420" signs?

--Apparently UPN is far from pleased in regardance to Smackdown's low
ratings. Shows I can think of other than Smackdown on UPN: None.
Lighten up, UPN.

--Scott Steiner is currently suffering from an injury and is expected to be
out of action for some time. When his injury has healed, he is slated to
return to action WAITING OUT HIS TIME WARNER CONTRACT.

--Kevin Nash is thinking about selling a movie that takes you behind the
scenes and exposes the business. I think that is an excellent idea, but I
liked it better the first time when it was called BEYOND THE MAT. I think
if Kevin Nash really wants to make money he should sell his charisma--nah he
already did that five years ago.

And that's the last word....or as Big Show used to say...."THALRRSTWRRD!
*coughs out marbles*" Hope you enjoyed the column. I appreciate feedback
and TRY to respond to every email. Later...I'm out like the popularity of
zubas.

---Chad Shadow
"I have a column and you don't, so suck on that."
Chad's Link of the Week: http://www.randomwrestling.org