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Submitted by Jaymz on Friday, December 28, 2001 at 4:52 PM EST
 Welcome back to the column that is the reason for the season, Dead Bodies Everywhere! Consider this a late Christmas present, and if you don't celebrate Christmas, that's okay, you can still read it. I hope you're all enjoying your time off as much as I am. I've effectively wasted my time by working and playing video games, and of course watching wrestling. What's on tap for today? How about the usual "just wing it" style you've come to know and love? Great. So once again we'll be forced to deal with Kevin Nash, yay! Only this time we don't have to put with any "Hey yo's" from his drunken shadow Scott Hall. It's his own damn fault, I guess he's S.O.L., and you know what that means. But back to Nash, what do you really need from him anyway? You've already got Test. Not to mention that a whole lot of other wrestlers in the WWF can do exactly what Kevin Nash brings to the table: A Big Boot, and a Power Bomb. It's really needless to bring him in. Why not give somebody from the midcard the same push that Nash will recieve? I guess he'll help spike the ratings a little bit, but don't you think a fresh face on the top tier can do that too? Yeah, and probably higher. Hell, while you're at it, why not give somebody else Big Bossman's push? He's slower than the Undertaker! That fucker's had his time in the sun a very long time ago. Wooo, he's from Cobb County, Georgia, you're gonna serve haarrrd tiiime! Yeah, so? If you want the guy around so bad, give him a job backstage as a beer bitch or something. There's just no need for him to be on television anymore. Isn't there a federation for WWF rejects? What's it called? The WWA? Come on Bossman, Brian Christopher is there, and Savage is coming back in Febuary, so it HAS to be cool, right? Oooh yeeeaaahh, dig it? Don't get me wrong, I think the WWA is good for the money. But on the surface, isn't it really the XFL of wrestling? Instead of buying up all the NFL and CFL rejects, you buy up the WWF rejects. Whether you're a thief (Juvi), a drunk (Buff), or a druggie (Brian Christopher), the WWA welcomes you! Actually on second thought, the WWA is a better deal than the XFL...it won't cost the owner millions of dollars. Here's a topic I haven't really covered; Rob Van Dam. I guess you can consider RVD a fresh face on the top tier, but I don't expect him to win the big one just yet. Patience cockhopper, his day will come. Oh well, look at it this way; at least he got rid of the Hardcore belt so he can compete for a real title. Yeah, I'm an RVD mark, what can I say? I guess the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young need money to buy medication this month. Isn't that the only time they come on WWF television? Yeah, as much as I hate the Geritol Wrestling Federation, Mae is always good for a few laughs and some skin. Not to mention, she's pretty hot too. Man I'd love to see her and Stacey Kiebler go at it in a huge pool of mud. That would make me buy the PPV easily! January 7th, the bitch is back. I'm not talking about Triple H. I'm hyped for Triple H's return, but does he really have to bring back his bitch too? I'm watching Smackdown, as I usually do when I write this, and I just saw her whore herself once again on television. Damn, we only got about a month break from her whining. Well, as usual, another short and sweet column has gone by. I just realized that this is the last column I'll write for 2001. Looking back, 2001 was an OK year for wrestling I guess. Hopefully this break that the writers and wrestlers get will recharge them for some really fun angles next year. Thanks once again for reading, it's been a pleasure writing. If you have any questions or comments, the e-mail address is at the top and bottom of the post. So until next time, enjoy the New Year and don't play in traffic. Koltershock: Featuring Porn Star Rejects! What the hell are you waiting for? Jaysus
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