*The McMahon Busters clear the arena, and the strange music stops playing from the PDC a few days back. Suddenly, a green slime ball floats into the ring and claps his hands.*

The green goo pile screams "My name is... SLIMER SHANER!!

*Cough* Excuse me. I've gone insane. I must take a moment and bitch about Kurt Angle, and then I'll get to a TLK Special, which idea I stole from my friend Wiggey who happens to be on hiatus...

Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that I was whining about senseless heel turns by the WWF, like they did with William Regal. Well, if you remember that match, where Regal turned, he allowed Kurt Angle to lose the WWF Title to Steve Austin.

"Good God almighty!" screamed Jim Ross, as William belted Angle in the head with... well, a belt.

Think back to the last, lets say, 4 months. What was the feud that was (supposed to be) the BIG ratings grabber? Well, my friends, it was Austin vs. Angle. I remember Austin throwing Kurt Angle's Olympic gold medals off a bridge, like Al Capone and a thug wearing cement shoes. Also, last month, part of the big storyline was Angle vs. Rob Van Dam. Austin and Angle are both in the Alliance.

Then, last week, I can remember Rhyno and Angle fighting in a great match on RAW, with Rhyno goring the inards out of Angle several times. Just days ago, on Smackdown! (!!!!) Kurt Angle whooped Christian, making him scream with agony from the ankle lock.

Good lord, do I really need to continue this? I sure don't believe so, as you can see how obvious *wink wink* it was the Kurt Angle would turn against the WWF and join the Alliance. It's not like he's been battling the Alliance leader for months, smashed the owner through glass, stole a wrestler's U.S. Title, was screwed out of the WWF Title, and just days ago made another wrestler tap out to the ankle lock.

Not only that, how in the hell is Kurt Angle going to be a heel in a time like this? Our great United States is under attack, we are at war! I don't think people will want to cheer someone sporting red, white, and blue, unless he becomes badass and starts hanging out with Tiger Ali Singh.

Aha! Lightbulb -- bring in Tiger Ali Singh, turban and all, and have him join the Alliance. That would REALLY stir the pot. It would be like the old Hogan/Slaughter days during the Gulf War. Might as well have D'Lo Brown and Chaz come back in their Afgahnish attire, too.

Okay, as soon as the topic goes from Kurt Angle to Chaz, you know it is time to quit. Now, it's time for something that made Wiggey, or GOD, bloom as a columnist. I present to you...

Gifts to Wrestlers