WWF Classics Airdate: 10.25.01 (UK only)

Hello to you all and welcome to yet another instalment of WWF Classics. It's been a while since the last report, so let's get right down to business.

The show opens as Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us all to the show, joined shortly by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, who is escorted to his announcing position by two WWF federettes. Heenan then attempts to introduce them, but Monsoon cuts him off as the opening video rolls. Oh yes, and Heenan still has a neckbrace on.

On today's show will be Macho Man Randy Savage, Greg Valentine will take on Raymond Rougeau, The Cam-Am Connection will be in action, as will the reigning tag team champions, the Hart Foundation. But of course, the match will be non-title, to make the show even less bearable.

Match #1
Macho Man Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. Dave Stoudemire
The ring announcer has a special announcement to make, or so he would have us believe. He introduces a man who was first at Wrestlemania I, and then appeared at Wrestlemania II. That man is Mr. T, who is making a surprise appearance - what a treat! Nobody knows why he is here, but they sure are glad to see him. He enters the ring and poses for the crowd, before going face-to-face with Savage. Macho then turns his back on T, who attempts to regain his attention. The referee then makes him leave, much to the delight of myself. The bell rings and Savage is clearly upset, as he forgets to take his designer sunglasses off. He sends Stoudemire into the corner right away, before delivering a big bodyslam. He then goes to the top rope and delivers the flying elbow, using simply his foot for the simple victory. Nobody seemed to know why Mr. T was the there, and from what i saw, nobody even cared.
Winner - Macho Man Randy Savage via pinfall, at 00:35

Greg DeGeorge is backstage with The Junkyard Dog, who made a triumphant return a few weeks ago. It's quite tricky deciphering what exactly he's saying, but you get the impression that he was helped by the man above to get his life cleared up.

Match #2
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs. Raymond Rougeau
Each superstar is accompanied by their tag team partner, who go by the names of Dino Bravo and Jacques Rougeau respectively. Valentine attacks Rougeau from behind to start the match, and delivers a scoopslam. We go to pre-recorded comments from Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, who wants to get hold of Valentine's "greasy locks". Raymond is fighting back in the meantime, but Valentine knocks him back down and delivers a headbutt to the lower abdomen. He then grapevines the leg and drops on it, before looking for the figure four leglock. Before he can apply it though, he gets booted off into the turnbuckle, as Raymond takes advantage. He whips Valentine into the corner, but Greg managed to escape before any further action could be taken. He then goes to the top rope but is caught by Raymond, who slams him half way across the ring. He the gives a bodyslam and gets a two-count, followed by a piledriver. It's reversed into a sunset flip, and Raymond gets another two-count. Valentine whips Raymond, but Bravo clips his leg from the outside of the ring, and of course the referee was completely unaware of this. This allows Valentine to finally apply the figure four, but Jacques comes in to break it up. He back bodydrops Bravo first though, before the bell rings to bring an end to this chaos. After the bell, all four brawl, before the decision is announced.
Winners - No Contest (Double DQ), at 03:12

Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage with Hercules, who has chains wrapped around his neck. If only they were slightly tighter. Hercules is a member of the Heenan Family, and he proceeds to say that Bobby Heenan is the smartest manager in professional wrestling today. He also thinks that he is in the best shape of his life (himself, not Heenan), and Ken Patera is going to pay for what he did to Heenan. His eventual aim is to become the world champion, so Hulk Hogan should watch out.

The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase is shown in a car, with big bucks at hand. He believes that everyone is jealous of him, and that money is not the root of all evil, prior to contrary belief. He says that he can buy anything he wants, including love - but i won't go there. We zoom around to see the driver of this vehicle, and it's Virgil, who takes care of all of life's little problems. DiBiase gets a paper cut on his finger (thanks to fingering through his money), so they drive to a medical facility. The doctor is busy though, and the receptionist obviously doesn't know who she is talking to. Virgil slips the office lady several $100 bills, who finally agrees to find a doctor. Everyone has a price for the Million Dollar Man - but she certainly appears to be a cheap slut.

Match #3
The Cam-Am Connection vs. Terry Gibbs & Jimmy Jack Funk
Zenk starts out with Terry (not Funk), and gets knocked down by Gibbs, before Zenk delivers an armdrag. He then delivers several hiptosses, before tagging in Martel. Martel winds up Gibbs' arm, before tagging Zenk back in. Zenk then delivers a high cross body and makes a cover, but scores only a two-count as Funk breaks up the pinfall. Martel re-enters the fray as all four men go at it, but Zenk is tossed over the top rope. They double team Martel, but he gets the better of the exchange, as Zenk gets back in, after which they deliver a devastating double drop-kick to Funk. The Cam-Am jump around the ring like the insane, and Martel hooks in an abdominal stretch on Gibbs. Funk sneaks in behind the referee's back and the Cam-Am are on the receiving end of some brutal punishment, as are the fans. Needless to say, Zenk gets the hot-tag to Martel, who goes bananas. The Cam-Am double-team Gibbs, as Martel hoists Gibbs up, allowing Zenk to deliver a dropkick from the top turnbuckle for the inevitable pinfall victory.
Winners - The Cam-Am Connection via pinfall, at 03:47

Mean Gene Okerlund is now backstage with Danny Davis, the ex-referee, who was barred for his bias. Jack Tunney fired him, but Davis thinks that he did him a favour, because he has had more success as a wrestler. Guys such as Tito Santana, Koko B. Ware and George Steele have gone up against him, but all were defeated by Dangerous Danny, thanks to his treacherous ways.

The WWF ice cream bars are once again advertised, before we get an exclusive video package of George "The Animal" Steele actually visiting the ice cream bar factory itself! At least he's a fair way away from the arena this wee. Chocolate cookies and ice creams are shown, as George nods his approval. He's standing there in his white coat and mask incidentally, looking like the biggest fool of all time, proclaiming the bars are "Good". I don't deserve this, surely.

Match #4
King Harley Race, Hercules & Paul Orndorff (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jobbers
Before Race & Hercules' partner is announced, Bobby takes the microphone, and introduces the third man. He wants the entire wrestling world to take notice, so weighing in at 252lbs, from Tampa, Florida, their partner is Paul Orndorff (aka "Mr. Wonderful"). He wasn't well received by the crowd on hand, but you can't be surprised. Johnny V. joins Monsoon in the commentary position meanwhile, for those wondering. The opponents are not announced, probably doing them a favour. Hercules starts out for Heenan's side, using his strength to beat down the guy in red trunks. He lifts him up in a fireman's carry position, before tagging in Race. He powerslams the individual and has the chance for the cover, but lifts him up after only two. He lifts him up and delivers a suplex, before tagging in Mr. Wonderful, who to be fair, does get good heel heat. He throws the guy into his corner allowing him to make a tag, but to no avail as he is clotheslined down immediately. Wonderful delivers a punishing piledriver, and scores the pinfall with ease. My word, Heenan is happy.
Winners - King Harley Race, Hercules & Paul Orndorff via pinfall, at 02:12

Greg DeGeorge is backstage, and welcomes in the star of the A-Team, that being Mr. T, who says that it is always a pleasure to be in the WWF. They've been looking for a guy who can maintain control, and he believes that he is the man to take care of business, and he is the man for the job. He's being chopping down trees even, so you can't argue with this real man's man.

Match #5
Outlaw Ron Bass vs. Frankie Laine
Bass begins by whipping Laine with his bullwhip, but it is reprimanded by the official. Pre-recorded comments of Bass hear him say that the whip is used to make him remembered. The whip is named "Betsy", in case you did not know. Bass throws him Laine out of the ring, brings him back in, and goes in for the kill. He executes some knees to the face, before being on the receiving end of a back bodydrop. He chokes Laine out on the ropes, before raking the eyes. He whips Laine to the ropes and delivers an elbow, before nailing a variation of the pedigree used currently by Triple H, but without hooking the arms. Impressive nonetheless.
Winner - Outlaw Ron Bass via pinfall, at 02:35

Butch Reed and Slick are backstage, and are disrespecting Superstar Billy Graham - the audacity! They insult his posture, his mental prowess, his injury, to name just a few. He says that it is he who is the real deal, and guys like Graham are second rate. Next week he will see Billy Graham and look at his washed-up physique.

Match #6 (from WWF Superstars)
The Hart Foundation (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Killer Bees
The match is joined in progress, and although the Hart Foundation are the tag team champions at this point in time, it is in fact a non-title match. Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura and Bruno Sammartino are in the commentary booth, and we join in as Jim Neidhart gets rolled up by Jim Brunzell for a two-count. Danny Davis is ringside as well, and is telling Hebner how to control the match. Bret Hart is tagged in, and begins to take advantage for their team. He whips Brunzell to the rope and delivers a kick to the midsection. They make frequent tags to keep Brunzell in the Harts corner, and Bret makes a cover, albeit a sloppy one, and gets a two-count. Brunzell runs to the ropes but is tripped by Danny Davis, who is then escorted away from ringside by several policeman. Back in the ring, Blair is in the ring illegally, and cleans house on both members of the Foundation. He whips Bret to the ropes but is reversed, he leaps over for the sunset flip, and Blair gets the upset victory, even though the count was particularly fast. The fans are on their feet, seemingly in complete shock.
Winners - The Killer Bees via pinfall, at 04:05 (not shown in entirety)

Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage with Billy Jack Haynes, who will be opening up a gymnasium in his home city of Oregon in the near future. To keep himself in great shape, by working out for 90 minutes a day, 6 days a week. Uponm hearing this then, it's no wonder he's doing this interview. Okerlund recalls his match at Wrestlemania III against Hercules, which Haynes lost presumably, as he is upset about it. He wants a rematch, and compliments President Jack Tunney on his tremendous matchmaking abilities, in a less than subtle manner i might add.

That's it for this week, but next week we have Ken Patera, Killer Khan, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, and there will be more news on Ted DiBiase. Also, The British Bulldogs will be in action. Until then, take care of yourselves, and note that WWF Classics will be back to it's regular position on Monday next week.