Tables, Ladders, and Keyboards Submitted by Shane Defy on Wednesday, October 24, 2001 at 6:28 PM EST
If you came here looking for Tables, Ladders, and Keyboards, then I'm sorry, but you won't get it. Instead, you'll get Tables, Ladders, and Keyboards. Wait, they are the same thing. Silly me. Welcome to the fourth edition of TLK on LOP! *dances*
Before we get into things, I want to introduce a brand new feature to my weekly routine. I've whipped up the first ever TLK comic strip for everyone, and I hope you check it out. Click here to check it out! It is just a happy little comic that will hopefully make you chuckle to yourself. If you are wondering why I have it linked instead of just on the column, it is because the WWF gets pissy when you use their pictures on sites. By me not putting it on LOP, it saves us some trouble. Don't blame us for the inconvenience, blame the WWF.
Well, well, well, what a RAW we saw on Monday. I don't feel that it was too bad, but it didn't really keep my attention. For the last few months it seems like watching these shows has been more of a chore than something for fun. But, I still watch it, anyhow. I don't watch Pay Per Views anymore, because it seemed every time I would watch one, it would be a stinker. Whenever I didn't watch, it would be great.
Show Me Mercy
Instead of watching No Mercy on Sunday, I decided to mingle with a bunch of other wrestling fans-- inside an AOL chatroom called "WWF No Mercy."
Oh, what a fatal mistake.
I've been to these little rooms before during Pay Per View events, to get play by play commentary, and it was okay. I think the reason it was okay was because I would block every person in the chat room except for the play by play writer, so that all I would get were updates. This time around, I didn't block anyone. I let the wrestling internet communities brightest individuals speak their piece. I would have rather took a nap on a freeway.
On an average, in the 2 hours I spent there, that around 100 different people asked "So, like, what matches are there on this and who won?"
If you think that didn't get annoying, then you sit there and listen to the other people in the chat, with their exotic fonts and wild colors, explaining the results so far. To sum it up, it looks a little something like this: "ok 1st test won n torri won an then hardyZ won they r so cute oh ya so did UT hes old i hate him"
Oh, are we having fun yet?
Then, there are those who love to just whore our their wonderful Angelfire/Geocities wrestling site, because they are that desperate for hits. Every few minutes someone would post the name to their site, their address, and say something smart like "HOGAN TO RUN IN ON MAIN EVENT TONIGHT!" and "GOLDBERG CAUGHT WITH TRISH BACKSTAGE! PHOTOS HERE!" Usually, there would be a few dozen asterisks spread in those too, but I left them out to keep you in a stable mental state.
The next kind of people I ran into were those who love spreading lies to get a reaction. Someone would come into the play by play room, find out what match was on, and make things up. "Edge trips and falls! The crowd is laughing!" and "Oh, here comes Vince! He just hit RVD with the chair!" and "Torrie's shirt came off! PUPPIES!"
Wow, such mature citizens.
Finally, there are the extreme marks. After the main event, someone actually said this, and it's a direct quote: "Austin wins, worst ppv eva." You Austin mark, how can you say that show was the worst EVER? Have you seen every single WWF PPV of all time? I doubt it, you are just a big Austin mark, and you were pissed. I found that there are a host of RVD marks out there. When Austin won, I'd had sworn the Viking Hall had been blown up. "OMG, Vince is holding RVD down!" Oh, cry about it. He's in the damn main event, while his partner who debuted at the same time, Tommy Dreamer, has had about 2 matches on RAW. He's in the damn main event, just because he's over. I'm an RVD fan too, but don't bitch, or I'll give you a stiff kick and make you bleed like he's done to so many.
I learned this: Everyone knows everything about wrestling. Everyone could book a show better than what they watch, no matter what happens. Everyone's favorite wrestler is the BEST, and everyone else "sux."
Honestly, there is proof that most wrestling fans are stubborn, idiotic assholes. No, this isn't part of my heel turn from last week, that was a joke. But, I'm a bit pissed since the WWF has been down lately, and I don't blame them. I wonder if Vince McMahon knows what type of morons watch his product. To those people who I haven't described, I'm sorry, as I'm sure you've witnessed the WWF fan hooliganism before. Otherwise, to those wrestling idiots of the world, just keep your mouth shut. It is people like you who ruin things for the others.
Also, God bless Calvin for doing such great Match-by-Match results, right here on LOP. I'll never go anywhere else, ever.
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Congratulations to my friend Brian, for defeating one of the towns' chess masters. After a five year absence, Brian came out fresh and made the chess master his bitch. Checkmate! Woo!
The Coalitions! - Just go there. It will be fun. Home of The Wrestling Coalition and The Game Coalition. The two worst sites in the history of the world.
