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Submitted by XanMan on Wednesday, December 24, 2008 at 7:26 AM EST
 "He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Santa Claus is coming to town." Well, I'm no Charlie Haas so impersonations aren't really my bag, but as long as I've already started what I hope to be an annual tradition, why not shoot for a couple more, starting with playing the role of Xanta Claus and deciding who's been naughty and nice, so we can see who deserves a Christmas present and who needs a little punishment. For the purposes of this column, though, I'm not concerned with whether a wrestler is a good or bad guy either in real life or in the world of wrestling, just whether or not he had a good year and made the most of his talents or not. Oh, and I won't be giving any gifts to the female wrestlers because the place for women in wrestling is outside the ring, not in it. I know that sounds sexist, but I'm not trying to be. There is a smattering of women out there who can wrestle, but until a major organization takes women's wrestling seriously, I'm not about to. So let's just make a summary judgment of all female wrestlers as naughty and use our imagination for how they can best put that trait to use, shall we? Let's start our list-marking with the team I(and probably you) have previously been referring to as "Priceless," now led by Randy Orton and apparently called "Legacy," because these are three(four?, five?) guys who appear unwilling to wait their turn in line for anything. It's impossible at this point to make any kind of grade on Manu, as he's barely wrestled on television. He's been decent on the mic, so far, and he has a good look, but the few times I've seen him in-ring he's looked a little sloppy. That may or may not be due to inactivity and without a larger base of data to draw from there's no way to know. Before Night of Champions I thought Cody Rhodes was horrible but, as so often happens, his heel turn has worked wonders. The WWE--like real life nowadays--has become a "right now" world, and it can be difficult to be accepting when a guy is learning on the job the way Rhodes has been. He's definitely getting better in the ring, though, perfecting his timing and pulling out a unique move or two. He needs to develop a finisher, but he's still primarily a tag wrestler, so that can come with time. He's really started to shine when it comes to promos and I think his overall improvement has earned him the gift of a tag title run as tag team leader. Not as leader of the entire stable, of course, that mantle belongs to one Randy Orton, who is the third official member of Legacy and is almost as hard to quantify this year as Manu. This isn't because we have too little information, but because we nearly have too much and some of it is contradictory. During the first four months of the year Orton was WWE Champion, defeating such men as both current champions--Jeff Hardy and John Cena--and Triple H. After losing his title, he was injured at Night of Champions and either reaggravated the injury crashing a motorcycle or faked doing so. Since his return, he has made trouble for, competed with, and now befriended the former Priceless--or at least most of them--but he's also suffered pinfall losses to CM Punk,Chris Jericho, and Batista. In other words, he's not exactly setting the world on fire the way he was before he won the WWE Title last year. Some of this could easily be put down simply as the usual comedown from a long championship, but one would think you'd still want your former champ to look strong, even after return from an injury, and Orton just hasn't looked that. He's basically been owned by both Batista and Punk, with sneak victories over each of them. Yes, that's the usual way for a heel to be in the WWE world, but it just seems like all the momentum Orton had built up has been erased by his DQ loss to Cena, subsequent defeats at the hands of Triple H, the injury, and now jobbing upon his return. In an up and down year, I'm inclined to give Orton a punishment, but what kind? Well, the Priceless stablemate of Rhodes and Manu was punted in the head by The Viper, and should return to action once he's done filming The Marine 2. But, how does Dibiase return? Does he make nice with his former teammates all understanding of their reasons for joining The Legend Killer and his new merry band of multi-generation superstars? It's certainly possible; after all, his supposed bestest friends eventually came around to Orton's way of thinking, but you know what? I rather hope not. While physically Dibiase looks almost like a carbon copy of Orton, he didn't seem very charismatic or comfortable on the mic yet, so I think the best thing for him might be to return and seek revenge against legacy culminating in a victory over Orton; that's Orton's punishment and also Dibiase's present for excelling so quickly--after all, he won the tag straps in his debut match and is considered the future of the company. No time like the present. Wow, what a pun that was. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!" It wasn't too long ago that I was in the habit of referring to the current ECW Champion and the current WWE Champion as "The Hardly Boys." Not a Santino-equivalent intentional mispronunciation of their names, perhaps, but one that seemed rather apt, as they both hardly seemed to go anywhere. This has been a banner year for the brothers, though, despite Matt being out the first three months of the year with an injury and Jeff missing two due to his suspension after failing the Wellness test. I think Matt is very well suited to be ECW Champion, as I just don't see him ever rising above that or the U.S./I-C Title level; the path seems too blocked, so as a present to him, how about one of those "Lifetime Achivement Award" type of runs with one of the big belts--you know, the kind Chris Benoit,Eddy Guerrero, and RVD got. I don't expect that to happen this year, but what if--just what if--Jeff gets the present I'd wish for him, which is a more-than-transitional title run and holds the belt through Wrestlemania, and then the two have a falling out of some kind and Matt ends up beating Jeff for the strap only to lose it a short time later back to him or to Edge or someone? Wouldn't that be something special? "Special" is certainly the way to sum up the year of CM Punk in the WWE. He started the year as ECW Champion, won Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, cashed it in on June 30, was not pinned to lose his championship nor in the subsequent rematch, and won the tag team titles with Kofi Kingston on October 27 before losing them the night before Armageddon, at which he became the #1 Contender for William Regal's Intercontinental Title. He's certainly on the shortlist of contender's for Wrestler of the Year, and thus, deserves a present, and what should that be? How about an outstanding feud with Regal over--and an extended run with--the Intercontinental Title. This year was undoubtedly a little too soon for Punk to be World Champion, but he is still quite over with the crowd, and being Intercontinental Champion sounds about right. Sucks that it comes at the expense of one of my favorites, but what can you do? Oh yeah--you can reward William Regal for his 2008 with an advancement to the main event scene. He's got the credentials for it, he's certainly earned it, and he's another guy very deserving of a "Lifetime Achievement Award" type of title reign. The World Title really is wasted being around Cena's waist. You know what else seems like a waste? The way Kane's been handled since...about forever, as I mentioned a few weeks ago. I don't think that I have to say what I think his present should be, as I wrote about it in the same column, and I can't think of a more fitting reward for being misused forever and jobbing to Rey fucking Mysterio with such professionalism and grace. John Morrison and The Miz have been entertaining me like crazy lately, including their hilarious abuse of the Cornfed Colossus, Festus. All three of those guys deserve presents; Miz and Morrison can retain their tag titles for the entire year of 2009, and as a present to myself, they can completely destroy Cryme Tyme while they're at it. As for Festus? If he wants that freaky looking ditz, Maria, he's more than welcome to her as far as your captain is concerned. She might even learn something from the big fella. Jesse? He's a glorified shepherd, let him get his own tail; there should be plenty of sheep around. Santino Marella has entertained the hell out of everybody on RAW, whether it be without or without Beth Phoenix, so I think he should be allowed to unretire the European Title and hold it for 65 weeks. Why not? It's just collecting dust anyway. It occurs to me that I haven't handed out many punishments, but maybe that's because it seems like most of the roster of the WWE has lived up to what I see its potential as, and those that haven't have been punished accordingly. Maybe I could punish Degenerate's lover, HBK, for not having the desire to be champion again by having him be made a paid slave to somebody rich like JBL or something, but that would be too fantastic. Rey Mysterio deserves to be punished for being an all-around irritating waste of television time, but my boy Sean took care of that a few weeks back. I guess I'd give him an injury that would get him off my screen again for quite awhile. As I've said before in this column, I have to tickets to Mania Silver, and I've absolutely no interest in Cena vs. Batista II. This has got me thinking long and hard about how to avoid it, and it's really simple. Batista deserves to be punished for being in the running for Superstar of the Year above Randy Orton who actually had a title reign that lasted more than 8 days. My punishment for this and for the possibility I'd have to see this crap match live, is an injury to DAVE that lasts until tax day. I'd love to give Chris Jericho a present deserving of his year, but the WWE would only take it away and give it to Batista or Cena anyway, so what's the point? This will conclude the WWE portion of our program. "Oh you better watch out, better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why!" Nigel McGuinness is a terrific wrestler and since the fans turned on him after he became ROH World Champion--a la John Cena in the WWE--he has evolved into an excellent heel and still managed to have a series of great matches. As I said in last week's Star, McGuinness has become a modern day version of the prime Nature Boy. He has truly been magnificent in 2008, but what do you get the man who has everything? Mic skills, size, speed, technical ability, and the ROH World Championship are all in his possession. In fact, he has now surpassed Bryan Danielson to become the second longest reigning champion in ROH history, behind only the 21-month reign of Samoa Joe, which means his run is likely soon coming to an end and probably at the hands of Danielson. Once it does, what I propose is that Nigel be allowed to unretire the Pure Championsip. He's really the guy who made it into what it eventually became and his new style would be a perfect fit for a Pure division heel. Sometimes the Ring of Honor midcard seems a little barren without another championship, and the NWA Title being there is likely temporary. If I'm wrong about that--and I hope I am--I'd like to bequeath at least 1/3 of the months of 2009 to an NWA Title reign by one Kevin Steen. By any measure, Steen had a remarkable year, though I'm not sure he quite fits his nickname, "Mr. Wrestling." I'm not trying to be disparaging; the guy's my size and build and can do amazing things that I'll never be able to do. I love and admire the man, but the fact is there are several guys in the promotion that are much better wrestlers than him. He's more of a power/spot hybrid type and fantastic at what he does. Steen started the year vowing that he would win ROH gold in 2008, and after several close losses: two screwjobs against McGuinness, a loss in the finals of a tournament to crown new tag champs, and another loss to Nigel, it looked like his promise would be broken, but he and his partner, El Generico, defeated The Age of the Fall on September 19 for the tag straps. Thus, he deserves a solo title run. If it's not the NWA one, maybe he could have a run with the Full Impact Pro Title. I really don't see him as ROH World Championship material; at least not yet. You know who is ROH World Championship material, though? Austin Aries, who I believe is the second best wrestler in the world, and could very possibly be my favorite guy to watch, but you know what? He hasn't really had that kind of a year, and seems farther away from the World Title than he's ever been. He's been involved in an intense personal rivalry with Jimmy Jacobs that has been awesome to watch, and he's had shots at both the ROH World Title against Nigel and the ROH Tag Titles(with sometime tag partner Bryan Danielson,) but this year hasn't really been about championships for Aries, as much as it's been about trying to destroy Jimmy Jacobs and his Age of the Fall to pay them back as best he can for the rape of Lacey. I understand that even the best wrestlers can't always be in the hunt for the World Championship, but it's almost painful to see his old stablemate, Roderick Strong, or the young Erick Stevens hold the FIP World Title, while Austin barely gets a sniff at Nigel. That isn't to say he hasn't been in huge matches, of course. He and Daniels' title match against AOTF closed out Respect Is Earned II and his Vendetta II match against Jacobs is probably my overall 2008 Match of the Year, but something certainly seems to be missing from Aries' game this year, and I think an appropriate punishment would be for him to put over huge my final ROH listmaker. Tyler Black is almost the forgotten man of the Age of The Fall, which is understandable given the circumstances, but also rather sad, since he appears to be the all-around best of them, and definitely has the most upside. With Jimmy Jacobs' rape of former AOTF member, and then-Aries' girlfriend--Lacey leading to a brutal feud between the two, the AOTF's destruction of the Briscoe Brothers after Jacob's damaged Mark's wrist with a spike, the joining of Delirious, and the desertion of the immensely brutal, yet tremendously popular Necro Butcher, Black kind of got lost in the shuffle. But, despite that, Mr. Black had a tremendous breakout year. He defeated three other men--Claudio Castagnoli, current FIP World Champion Go Shiozaki, and Delirious--at Take No Prisoners on March 16, 2008 to win the right to challenge Nigel McGuinness the same night for the ROH World Title and gave him a hell of a match. Then, at Up For Grabs on June 6, he pinned El Generico in the finals of a tag title tournament; the next night he pinned Bryan Danielson to retain them. He and Jacobs ended up losing the straps to Generico and Steen, as mentioned above, but it's still been a killer year for Mr. Black, and I think next could be even better. He deserves to go over Aries in a solo career making feud, and then to upend who I believe will be the new ROH Champ, Bryan Danielson. Black's the wave of the future: catch it! "Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is coming to town!" It's no secret that I have a huge problem with what's been happening in TNA the last several months. While theoretically an angle having former world champions banding together trying to maintain their place against the young up and comers should be good, compelling television, it can be very difficult to book correctly, as Davey Boy said in a column a couple of weeks ago. In my opinion, TNA has gone about it just about the worst way possible, and one of the biggest problems has been the portrayal of Sting both before and during this angle. I know Sting isn't part of the booking committee, and he has no say as to who they decide to put the belt on, but he does have a say in how he portrays his own character, and he's done a terrible fucking job of it. His horrible attempt--if you can call it that--of playing a heel has given this angle almost no chance to succeed in what it's supposed to do, which is get the crowd behind the young talent as they attempt to--and eventually do--usurp the Main Event Mafia for control of Total Nonstop Action. Instead, Sting's decision to hang and bang with the monster heels, yet still slap hands and try to gain crowd approval has created a divide in which the fans wonder who they're supposed to cheer for. This selfish dickhead needs the ultimate punishment for a wrestler--reitrement with no possibility of return to the ring. Fuck Sting. Almost as surprising as the usually very giving Steve Borden's refusal to play his role correctly is the emergence of Beer Money, Inc. as one of the best tag teams in the world. When they put these guys together, I'm certain it was because they didn't know what else to do with them. Despite Booker T's best attempts to put him over, the Million Dollar Man-like character of Robert Roode was pretty much ignored by the TNA fans. It didn't matter that he completely mistreated the gorgeous Tracy Brooks, either, as what has in the past been almost a guarantee of huge heel heat got him absolutely no traction with the crowds. Meanwhile, James Storm had a high profile feud with Rhyno and was also the beer drinking champion of the world in what was a pretty awesome little gimmick, but still never got very far as a single's wrestler ever since my favorite tag team of all time, America's Most Wanted broke up. The man I believed to be a future world champion, "Wildcat" Chris Harris lost faith with the organization, joined WWE as an out-of-shape Braden Walker, and is now out there accepting independent bookings, while his partner has now found a new championship partner in crime, and together they have been hugely entertaining heels. I think the most appropriate gift for them would be to hold the tag straps longer than any team ever, which they're less than two months away from accomplishing. On the other hand, the Murder City Machine Guns haven't accomplished much of anything during their tenure in Total Nonstop Action. Though they're currently getting a bit of a push as reluctant members of the group opposing the Main Event Mafia, called TNA Frontline, for the most part they've languished during their time in the organization. Sure, they were featured prominently as Jay Lethal's tag team partners when the X-Division was on the line as they feuded with Team 3D and Johnny Divine, but soon after they started being omitted from Impact! broadcasts and TNA Pay Per Views, and when they were included they were always jobbers to lesser teams, as they appeared to be in the doghouse. Now, as I said, they've been given a bit more attention, and it's even possible that they are on a collision course in the finals of the X-Division Title Tournament. I don't see that these guys have actually done anything wrong, but it's impossible to not be disappointed in the year they've had and with their treatment in TNA, so what I suggest is this: if neither of them ends up winning the tournament and they don't get a high-profile feud against Beer Money--and eventually the tag straps--they should receive the gift of being punished with a release from TNA and a new contract with an organization that shows nothing but appreciation for their talents: Ring of Honor. The final house we'll be visiting tonight belongs to one man, but two characters. It seemed very strange to me last year when Christopher Daniels ended up holding the briefcase that cost him to lose his job after the Feast or Fired match, especially since his Triple X partner, Low Ki--surprise, surprise, as I roll my eyes(2 points)--requested and was granted his release from the organization. Soon after, though, he returned as the masked superstar, Curry Man, got over almost immediately with the crowd and formed a successful tag team with Stone Cold Shark Boy. He was entertaining as hell, and eventually he, Shark Boy, and Super Eric would form the TNA version of The Justice League of America (no, I'm not kidding) called The Prince Justice Brotherhood. In recent months, though, Super Eric has disappeared in favor of a more serious Eric Young contending(somehow) for the X Title and Shark Boy has been off of television, so there's really been nothing for Curry Man to do; enter the second Feast or Fired match, where he "won" a pink slip. So, here's hoping that Daniels' reward for portraying a fun, entertaining character that at times was one of the best parts of TNA in 2008 returns as himself, and if he does he should at the very least get a healthy run as X Champ. Either that, or maybe The Fallen Angel will return as yet a new character. I guess I could loan him Xanta Claus. Long days, pleasant nights {Author's Note: The above quotes in teal are, obviously, from the classic Christmas song "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." Also, I "gave" Batista his injury days before the news came out about his actual injury until June; this column was actually completed a week ago.} Points of Light These are the shining examples of stellar work posted in the LoP Columns Forum over the last 7 days: The Kaos Engine VII by Skaos Some Strangeness in the Proportion VI: A Column Not About Jeff Hardy by Søren Just Business #23 - Play the Game! Must We? by ManWithThePlan Blood Chronicles I-IX: Peer by Bloodline You can send any comments by email to me at XanManX@hotmail.com with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line or you can click here to leave feedback if you're a member of The Lop Forums. The Northern Star will rise again, until then... Be Well
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