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Submitted by XanMan on Saturday, December 6, 2008 at 8:25 AM EST
 With XanMan and aisce This week, Sheepster fills in for aisce, and Skittlez, in turn, fills in for Sheepster. You got all that? Good. With all that out of the way, I can say... Hello boys and girls, and welcome to ETA. Today, Sheep and I discuss the misadventures of Plaxico, OJ, and Edge and debate what the match of the year really is, but... We start with John Cena, who made his triumphant return and defeated my boy for the World Heavyweight Title. Sheepster, you're the master of optimism. Tell me why I shouldn't hate this as much as I do. Well, we can start with the advantage of Triple H being busy with Edge on Smackdown. That gives Jericho much more of a chance to hang around in the Raw main event. As a result, you get treated to hours of fun watching Jericho chase the title. And if WWE didn't mind giving Jericho a second run with the title, there's nothing stopping them from giving him a third. Or a fourth. He's still got time to have one more run with the title before handing it back to Cena, ready for Wrestlemania. And more title reigns just make Jericho more awesome, right? Of course, that doesn't change the fact that Cena is still champion. But hey. Kids love him. And with Christmas coming up, sales will be going through the roof. That can only help WWE in these uncertain times of economic downturn. Did I ease your hate sufficiently? No, because I've still seen Cena shrug off everything Jericho did to him and turn a freaking small package into the F-U and then completely destroy Jericho the next night, and then one week later see the WWE portray Jericho's only chance against Cena as having to have help, since Cena's real name is, of course, Clark Kent. It's been a long time since I've liked Cena as champion, but I already like this reign more than any of his others. This is just disgusting. I hate when a wrestling angle leaves me praying for a red sun. I don't want this to turn into a complete bitchfest, but another thing I hate is when two guys hold the tag titles, yet don't come down as a tagteam. Do you see Kofi and Punk as a permanent team or just one that's thrown together for a couple of months while creative tries to remember that there are You couldn't have drained my optimism any quicker. Of course they're not a permanent team. Quite frankly, I don't know what's going on with them. Have they even defended them yet? I agree with you. I do love a good tag team, so it saddens me to see the titles being treated like this. And all it would take to fix is one or two people to keep an eye on the tag team division and report back to the rest of the writers. Give them six wrestlers to build around and leave them alone. Hey presto, you have a flourishing tag team division. But no. Every time they get something going, one of the wrestlers does something silly like get injured or fired, and they decide to give the tag team titles to the fan favourites du jour. How long do you reckon until Primo Colon breaks his arm trying to open a jar of pickles? Jalapenos would probably be more likely, but I hate speculating on when someone's going to get injured--even though being a fan who is attending Mania Silver, I'm really hoping for either Batista or Cena to suffer soon so I don't have to. I hated how quickly the Colons won the tag straps, but at least they somewhat make sense because 1) Carlito never took off the ground as a single's star 2) It gives Primo some exposure and the fans a chance to get used to him and 3) It put a 3rd team on Smackdown. I really don't understand the point of having Miz and Morrison being part of ECW when there's no tag titles there and lately they've been on all three shows. Give them a home base on either Smackdown or RAW, please. Does anyone really want to see Jesse and Festus in the running for the straps, much less actually holding them? Do you think Punk and Kofi will face each other in the finals of the #1 contender's tournament and end up breaking up over it, thus causing the titles to be scrapped like the CW one was last year? Scrapping the titles? Interesting. I don't think they'll do it though. Do you remember the depths they plumbed with the Cruiserweight title before they finally killed it? These are the titles that go back to the 70s. They have a long way to go yet. We need a couple of dancing circus bears to win them first. [How awesome would that be??] I absolutely agree about facing each other in the final though. They were both entered at opposite ends of the tournament. Of course they'll end up facing each other. If Morrison were reaching the final, the Miz would've gone through to keep it interesting. And in fact, if CM Punk were going to win, he'd have beaten someone better than Snitsky. But now you've got Kofi beating the monstrosity of Kane, then going on to beat the implausibly-loved Rey Mysterio, before finally taking out his tag team partner. I'd put money on Kofi winning it. Or am I being too logical here? Who's your money on? You're not being your usual logical self, actually. Why would it be Kofi? Punk and Regal have had almost no interaction since Regal cost him the Lumberjack Match against Randy Orton. Sure, Punk Go To Slept him at Survivor Series, but they can't just keep having Punk get cheated out of victories and titles without getting some real measure of revenge, can they? Besides, if Punk gets the shot and wins the title he'll be the first person to have won the World Heavyweight, World Tag, and Intercontinental Titles in a 6 month span. We all know how much the WWE likes to see history made. I suppose that does make a tad more sense. I'd rather just have Regal keep the belt though. And if Punk wins, we know that it's curtains for Regal. Meanwhile, the nominations for the fantastically named Slammy Awards have just been announced by WWE. They only have 2 categories, unless you count the laughably redundant Diva of the Year award. Superstar of the Year is filled with the obvious names. The more contentious issue is with the always debatable Match of the Year award. The 2008 Royal Rumble Match, Ric Flair taking on Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 24, the Money in the Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania 24 and Undertaker facing Edge in a Hell in a Cell Match at SummerSlam. These are our 4 contenders. Are there other matches that could've been nominated? Is it a shame that we have to reach back to January and March to find plausible MOTY candidates? What does this say about the last 6 months? The truth is that it's been a very bad year for wrestling. Flair vs. Michaels wasn't really the classic it's made out to be, the Royal Rumble was ruined by the return of Cena, the MITB had its moments, but wasn't as good as the others from memory. I loved the Triple Threat match at Mania, the Edge/Taker match, and two of the three Championship Scramble matches. There were a couple of good matches featuring Evan Bourne against Morrison, as well, if memory serves, but really this was a storyline year. If I could, I'd stack the Jericho/Michaels matches together and give them the MOTY. If I had to pick just one of those, I'd take the unsanctioned one, but if I had to pick just one MOTY, it would have to be Edge/Taker. How about you? Saying that it has been a "storyline year" is a kind way of putting it. But in such a storyline-driven year, I'm shocked that one of the best storylines didn't get a look in. You shouldn't need to band all the Jericho/Michaels matches together. WWE have overlooked the fact that those two guys put on MOTY candidates every single month. I wouldn't have picked the unsanctioned match though. What was it about that match that made you choose it? I'd have picked the No Mercy Ladder match. That was stunning. It had everything. Jericho even lost a tooth! That'd be my pick. But since we're limited to those 4 matches, I'll go along with you. Edge and Taker in Hell in a Cell. You're right, Jericho and Michaels had lots of great matches together, and any one of them could have been Match of the Year in a lot of years, but I would still take Edge/Taker from Hell in a Cell over any of them, because it was a fittingly brutal ending to an incredible feud that to me actually redefined what a Hell in a Cell match is, and despite everything Edge has done since New Year's Revolution '06, it was his defeat to 'Taker at SummerSlam that was his starmaking moment for me. I may be in the minority there, but that's how I feel. I was incredibly tired when I watched the ladder match between Michaels and Jericho, so I may not be judging it fairly, but it didn't stand above other ladder matches to me. The brilliance of the unsanctioned match was that it was "The Sopranos" or "The Shield" of professional wrestling matches. You know what you're watching is excellent, but it's also a desperate, depraved, and cruel roller coaster, so the decent part of you is telling you to turn it off, but you're compelled to keep watching to see what happens. That match made me feel more than any match I can remember since Benoit made Triple H tap at 'Mania XX. And saying that, I guess I have to put it above Taker/Edge, though I think I could watch the HIAC far more often. Yeuch. I don't understand your reasons for liking it. The match made no sense to me at any point, other than the moment it was made. After months of vicious feuding, we got ourselves an unsanctioned match because Shawn Michaels didn't want to be held accountable for his actions, or something. It kinda made sense to me then. But as soon as Unforgiven rolled around, I started getting confused. Alright, it's an unsanctioned match... so why do they parade it around in front of everyone? Why are they profiting off of it by allowing them to start in a WWE ring? Why do they even have a referee there? Nothing about this match says "unsanctioned" to me. Of course, none of this should preclude it from being a Match of the Year. But when you get into it, it's just a beating. Jericho beats up Michaels for the first half before Michaels comes back and beats up Jericho in the second half. And what was with that ending?!? It's an unsanctioned match! What jurisdiction does the referee have to stop it?! I just sat there in disbelief. What did that accomplish? Shawn Michaels got his redemption. Fine. I was just left with a bitter taste in my mouth. For me, the ladder match was far more exciting. Lots of wrestling and psychology and I really didn't know who was going to win. That makes it a great match in my book. I wasn't even sure that Jericho was going to win on his final climb. I don't know how better to explain it to you. You probably like CSI better than The Shield, too. We different peeps, Sheeps.(2 points) In another major swerve, Edge won the WWE Title from Triple H at Survivor Series. What do you think of all the curveballs we've been thrown this year? I love them. Especially when they involve Edge. But are they really curveballs, though? I think it's just that they don't have anything left in the tank. They've thrown everything else at us. No doubt they'd have thrown some of the same old stuff at us, but certain injuries prevented them from doing it. I'm not too surprised that Edge took the belt away from Triple H. If he'd have done it cleanly, in a one-on-one situation, then I'd have been shocked. But it was a triple threat match with interference to boot. Triple H doesn't look any weaker and Edge looks like he lucked into the title. That's what he does. The ultimate opportunist. The only curveball here was that he won it in his first match back. I mean, who wins a World Title in their very first match back after an injury? Oh yeah... that Cena guy. Pfft. Curveball. I would say Cena appearing in the Rumble, Edge showing up on RAW to get punked(pun intended) out of the World Title, Jericho stealing Punk's spot and winning his title at Unforgiven, and Edge's return to championship status after stealing Hardy's shot can all be considered curveballs. What else would you call them? Personally, I like the unpredictable nature it brings, but think they've used the gimmick a little too often, lately. It also seems like a pretty weak way to end a very strong run by Triple H, but at least it keeps him as a face for at least a little while longer, and I think he's done a very good job in that role, both as champion and challenger. 5 Good... Television shows I wish had longer seasons... 1. Brotherhood--This show just keeps getting better, and it's almost criminal that we only get 10 hours per year of it. Being from the UK, I have been left somewhat televisually challenged. Wikipedia tells me that it's an Irish Sopranos set a little further up the coast. If that's the case, I agree with you. 2. True Blood--Maybe it only takes 12 hours to tell the tale in the book, but there's no law that says you can't throw extra storylines in. Wikipedia tells me that this is Buffy the Vampire Slayer set in Louisiana. Yuck. It does star Anna Paquin though. Hmm. This one could go either way. 3. Battlestar Galactica--This reimagining is nearing the end of its stellar run, but just think how much more passionate we loyal viewers would have been if we hadn't had to wait so long to watch a show that's been in the can for nearly a year. Wikipedia tells me that this is sci-fi. Sorry, Xan. I'm a Trekker. Always have been, always will be. 4. The Sopranos--Yes, it's no longer on television, but dammit, there were so many breaks that they could easily have used the time they were writing to actually film and air some fucking episodes. Dear god, I love this show. I wish it was still going strong. I 'acquired' the very first episode after the show stopped on TV, just to see what it was all about. 1 month later, I had watched all 6 seasons. 5. Robot Chicken--I can't get enough of that claymation hilarity! Wikipedia tells me that David Hasselhoff, Hulk Hogan, Dustin Diamond and Gene Simmons have all lent their voices to the show. I'm just imagining a show with all 4 of them in at once. It's not working. Toss Up! Which will happen first: Jeff Hardy being fired or Jeff Hardy becoming WWE Champion? Ouch. That's a tough one to start with. He's got previous experience at being fired. Lots of previous experience. But then again, he's now being pushed up to the higher levels. He's had title shots. He hasn't won those shots, but just being given them is usually a sign of greater things down the road. But then again, he's a buffoon. And if they only trust the normal Hardy with the ECW title, why would they trust inferior Hardy with the big one? Meh. He'll be fired first. What's best for Edge: Crazy hobo beard or clean shaven? I prefer scruffy Edge, despite my boy thinking he looks too much like Triple H that way. There's just something about his wild eyes, with the wild beard that make him look like an insane heel, the way he was supposed to be going into SummerSlam. Maybe he's back to the cold, calculating dude that dominated Smackdown for a year and a half, but I'd really hate to think that was the case. Hopefully his shaving is just a superficial change. Once SummerSlam 2008 rolls around, who will be the longest reigning Ring of Honor World Champion: Samoa Joe or Nigel McGuinness? I apologise. I know as much about ROH as I do about Belgian carpentry. I watched a live show once though. Nigel McGuinness was there, and he was awesome. He's also British. Let's go with him. Blind patriotism FTW. Come on, Nige! More improbable World Champion at this point: Shawn Michaels or the Undertaker? That's pretty obvious, isn't it? Despite the fact that Shawn Michaels nearly won the strap from Jericho in their ladder match, he's not really been in title contention all year, whereas Taker actually was World Heavyweight Champion at one point and is continually among the top contenders for the strap on Smackdown. As much as I'd like to see HBK get at least one last run as champ, he doesn't appear to be interested in such, while I see no reason for Taker not to get one more before his career ends. SkitZ the Shady Statistician "You're no help," he told the lime. This was unfair. It was only a lime; there was nothing special about it at all. It was doing the best it could."--Neil Gaiman Lime is an exquisite color by the way. And it's funny you should mention one Mark William Calaway (born March 24, 1965) as I've realized he is exactly two months and two weeks older than my father. Actually, that has nothing to do with anything. Please accept my sincerest apologies. Or better yet, I'll send you a surprise in the mail with no return address. Enjoy... Anyways, with all the talk about recent World Title changes and such, I figured I'd bring up an interesting stat that may not shock many but will surely disgust most. >>> The Undertaker has won 6 World Championships during his 18 year career with WWE. >>> Triple H has won TWICE as many World Titles in HALF as many years. Like I said, it makes sense but aren't those numbers sickening? Triple H's creative control backstage has been well-documented but so has the legacy of The Deadman. While Undertaker's gimmick has proven to be successful without constantly being in title contention, the fact he spent so much time feuding with the subpar big men of the mid 90's while The Game collected WWE Titles like Pokemon cards is a travesty. And although H enjoyed a handful of short title reigns during the Attitude Era, it isn't like Taker reigned supreme and represented a symbol of pure dominance. I mean Jesus... simply one of Triple H's championship reigns is nearly longer than all of Taker's World Title stints combined! See for yourself... >>> Triple H's seventh World Title reign lasted 9 months and 6 days (December 15, 2002 - September 21, 2003). >>> All six of Undertaker's World Title reigns add up to 11 months and 2 days. Oh it gets worse. Believe me... we're all familiar with the Evolution stable and its purpose. Assembled carefully to represent the past, present and future of professional wrestling, Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista and Randy Orton ran amok all over RAW for months and months. While The Game got to be the leader of the pack and the Nature Boy brought the nostalgia factor, the main goal was to groom Orton and Batista for the next level so they could one day carry the company on their own. The Legend Killer and The Animal have since ventured out and have both evolved into two of the WWE's biggest and most popular superstars. But I must question exactly how they are supposed to match up to their predecessors in the long term. Yes Batista is arguably the most intense individual of the group. Orton is easily the most physically gifted of the bunch. But credibility and hardware wise? Now THAT's a different story. >>> Randy Orton + Batista = 7 World Championship reigns >>> Ric Flair + Triple H = 28 World Championship reigns >>> If my math is correct, Orton and Batista have accumulated only 1/4 the amount of World Titles that H and the Nature Boy have. And I seriously doubt either the Legend Killer or the Animal will be wrestling into their 60's. Bats will be lucky to make it to 45 with the dangerous level of illegal supplements running through his arteries. Not only are The Game and Flair man whores but they've got to be the biggest title whores north of the Hulkster's neighborhood. Poor Randy... Triple H never seems to give him a damn break. First, Hunter stole the World Title from him just four weeks after Orton had his passing of the torch moment at SummerSlam 2004. Around three years later, H would put over Orton in the main event at No Mercy 2007; ending The Game's title reign at a measly two and a half hours. But of course, this came after Hunter defeated Orton at the start of the show just 22 minutes after the Legend Killer was awarded the title! Which officially gave Orton the shortest WWE Championship reign in company history. The bullying would continue however. Just when Orton appeared to dispell the majority of his haters during a tremendous WWE Title run which he dubbed as 'The Age of Orton', Triple H squashed his momentum by taking the title in a fatal four way elimination match also involving Cena and JBL at Backlash earlier this year. The Game's twelfth World Title reign had kicked off and you'd think he was satisfied by that point, right? WRONG! With Orton's stock in the company rising rapidly, H knew he had to do something drastic and he did just that at One Night Stand. During a last man standing bout for the gold, The Game took his calculated risk and countered an RKO attempt by hurdling Orton over the top rope. And you know how that ended.... >>> Triple H - RKO + top rope clearance + height - ability to fly + velocity - cat like landing + premeditation = Broken Collarbone Flair WAS the dirtiest player in the game. That title now belongs to Hunter (obviously by my calculations). It's time to play the game, huh? No thanks. I'd rather not given your track record and poor sportsmanship. Everyone always wonders whether Triple H will ultimately pass Flair's record 17 World Titles. Well don't let his friendship with the Nature Boy or Hunter's kiss ass induction speech at the 2008 Hall of Fame ceremony fool you. He's in it for himself first and foremost. I leave you all on this note (or rather this statistic)... >>> Years of steroids + wealthy relatives - virtual weaknesses + locker room leverage - crappy booking + freedom of promo = 18 World Titles for Triple H Big Finish Your Patriots are currently one game back of the Jets for the AFC East crown. Are they going to make a surge and claim it? No. If we win all 4 remaining games, the Jets only need 3 to tie it. Then they'd own us on tie-breakers. We have two consecutive easy games (if only they weren't consecutively on the west coast), followed by a resurgent Arizona and a tough division game in Buffalo. There's no way we win all 4. We're dropping 2 of them. I'd guess Arizona and Buffalo. Roll on, 2009. OJ Simpson just received a 15+ year jail sentence. Is it karma, fate, coincidence, or sheer stupidity on OJ's part? Absolute karma, baby! The bastard used up all his moolah getting the jury to acquit him of a double homicide I'm certain he was guilty of, so the big "K" came back to bite him in the ass righteously. Getting back to the Patriots, I heard an interesting question about their quarterback situation: Should they let Matt Cassell go as a free agent knowing that Tom Brady is no guarantee to be ready to start the 2009-2010 season or should they trade Brady and get back two #1 picks for him? They can't franchise Cassell, because they'd have to pay him $16 million for next year and he'd be making twice as much as Brady. Tom Brady is only 31 years old. I'm sitting here watching a 40 year old less-than-Brady-level quarterback leading a division rival to the playoffs. If Tom Brady gets traded in the next 5 years, I will kill people. I was first onto the Cassel bandwagon, and if he wants to re-sign with us, that's fantastic. But if Cassel wants more money than Brady, he can leave. If Brady isn't back, we've got a decent rookie QB who's champing at the bit. There's only 2 and a half weeks until Christmas. What is XanMan hoping to find in his stocking this year? The only two things I really want for Christmas are a Sony Cybershot DSC H-9 digital camera and the Edge: A Decade of Decadence DVD. Next year I may ask for an Amazon Kindle, though. I'm a big-time reader, and those things look frickin' sweet. Have you ever gone clubbing with a weapon in your pants? Absolutely. I need somewhere to hold my club while I'm struggling to catch the baby seal. You wouldn't! If you'd like to send feedback to XanMan Click Here If you'd like to send feedback to Sheepster Click Here To email feedback to both of us or to send topics you'd like us to cover next time Click Here or if you're a member, in the LOPForums. If you want to leave feedback for Skittlez, you might want to sit down and contemplate what happened to lead you astray. That's all we've got. We'll try to do better next time.
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