|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Hustle on Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 12:28 PM EST
 Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc "The way I see it, if I was wack like you, I'd be mad at me.. the way I hold it down, you'd swear my name was Gravity.." Def Jef brings us today's intro line, and to make it even funnier, the line comes from Shaquille O'Neal's debut single, "(I Know I Got) Skillz", which, despite the punchline-worthy person rapping on it, has a beat that is straight crack. I recommend it to any of you that have bass-heavy sound systems, because it's bumps hard. Welcome back to The HIPE, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the Snowman, servin the fiends.. yes, Hustle's back in the building.. I got everybody hostage, I took over the building. You know, I think it's about that time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!! As I mentioned yesterday, Smackdown aired here a bit too late for me to feel comfortable with watching it and recapping it without falling asleep in my chair, and therefore not posting anything. People would be e-mailing me like crazy, wondering what the hell happened to me. I can't do that to my readers. Alright, let's get to the recap so we can move on to other things:  - Damn, an opening tag match featuring three black guys (and R-Truth, as well). That's almost unheard of in Vince McMahon's tenure. The match was below-average, but it was all about being historic here, folks. - Think Triple H had to sleep on the couch by himself after the backstage promo he cut with Eve Torres? The promo itself wasn't terrible or anything, but Triple H may be going through some sort of mid-life crisis, as he continuously forgets to act his age these days. If he puts his hair into a ponytail tomorrow at Survivor Series, it might be time to start the panic process. - Triple H beats Jeff Hardy approximately 1571 times in a row, with each match ending after at least one Pedigree. When Jeff finally gets to end the losing streak, though, it's on a flukey roll-up? Seriously? Would it really have been so bad for Trips to lose the match after being hit by a Swanton or something? Hell, even if the Swanton was the fourth one Jeff hit during the match, it still would've done more for his character and his push than a roll-up victory. - MVP loses again? Check. MVP gets laid out again after losing? Check. *sad* The expiration date for the freshness of this storyline was sometime in early October. Time to throw it out already, WWE, because it's making people sick. - The Undertaker cuts the only promo he knows how to cut as "The Deadman". Blah blah final resting place blah blah pay for your sins blah blah casket blah blah eternal damnation blah blah take your soul blah blah listen to my voice change as I switch up my "evil" levels blah blah burn in hell blah blah I wish that I wasn't "dead" all over blah blah. Either they need to bring Jim Mitchell in to do the talking for Taker, or they need to just have him go back to being silent again, because he's awful. Absolutely awful. All in all, this was a really bad episode of Smackdown, but most people would expect that out of the final show leading into a pay-per-view. Even the Triple H/Jeff Hardy match seemed like they were just going through the motions at times, which is a disappointment, as I'm usually entertained when they face each other. Smackdown, as a whole, just hasn't been hitting on all cylinders for a while, with the same matches taking place, the same segments going on, and the same people getting shine. Raw and ECW are both more entertaining, at the moment. Hopefully, Smackdown can get it together, post-Survivor Series, because they have a lot of potential to be a solid show. I didn't want to do this originally, because it just hasn't been something I've usually done in the past, but enough of you have asked me to give my predictions for Survivor Series that I figured I might as well do it. Yes, today is going to be one big column, consisting of multiple mini-columns. I feel I'm entitled to one of those every now and then, especially when there's not a whole lot going on in the wrestling world, and I just did an MMA column yesterday. Before I'm still rambling on when the show actually starts, let's get to it.. Team Raw VS Team Smackdown - Divas Elimination Match For those unaware, WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix captains Team Raw, with Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, & Jillian as her teammates. WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool leads Team Smackdown into battle, with Maria, Maryse, Natalya, & Victoria joining her. Personally, I'm looking forward to this match, and not only because ten of the best looking women around will be in the match. No, I'm excited because, on top of looking good, most of these women can actually go in the ring. Even the "worst" ones in the match (Maria & Candice) aren't completely terrible, and have spent a lot of time in improving their craft since they first started wrestling. This won't be your typical WWE multi-Diva match, and there's even an outside chance that this match gets 15-20 minutes to work with. The main thing to look for, of course, is whether or not the women can put aside personal differences in order to bond together for the good of their brands. Beth Phoenix and Mickie James have had one of the better women's feuds in recent years, and the Michelle McCool/Maryse feud lasted for months on Smackdown. You can almost guarantee that there will be some sort of dissension during the match, and it'll probably happen on both sides. I think Smackdown's side has the better chance of breaking down, personally. Not only are they 60% heel (while Team Raw is 60% face), but Maryse plays such a great "bitch" character, that I think she'll stir some shit up, based on her past history with McCool. I do think Smackdown needs this victory more than Raw does. As much as I've enjoyed the work of Beth Phoenix since she became champion, she won't be hurt too much if she doesn't come out on top here. The same can't be said about Michelle McCool, though. The credibility of her title reign has been called into play by numerous people with any sort of an opinion on the internet (myself included), and if she can't lead her team to victory, it makes her reign look even more lame-duck than it already does. Because of that, not only will Team Smackdown win this match, but McCool will be the sole survivor, and she'll probably beat Jillian, Candice, & Beth herself in the process. Winners: Team Smackdown (Michelle McCool as the sole survivor) Team HBK VS Team JBL - Elimination Match Shawn Michaels enters this match with Rey Mysterio, The Great Khali, & Cryme Tyme backing him up. JBL has Kane, MVP, The Miz & John Morrison on his squad. There are some serious feuds coming together in this match. It seems as if Mysterio & Kane have been feuding all year long, and the Cryme Tyme/MorriMiz feud is another one that has been going on for a while now. Shawn Michaels & JBL have just started feuding, but it's been a really heated one so far. I think I'm going to move on without getting too far into the Khali/MVP feud, out of concern for my own sanity. Because the HBK/JBL feud is in its early stages, it definitely won't be ending in this match. Look for both men being involved right up to the end, but I see JBL's side coming out victorious here. I'm thinking that something along the lines of Michaels & Mysterio being left on one side, with JBL, Kane, & MorriMiz being on the other side. Rey gets the pin on Kane, but is then immediately put out by JBL. That would leave us with Michaels taking on JBL, Miz, & Morrison all by himself, and he'll put on a great fight, like he always does, but he'll come up short here. He'll probably get the pin on either Miz or Morrison, and may even pin them both, but he won't make the miraculous comeback. He still gets to come out looking strong, though (not that he really needs it). Winners: Team JBL (JBL & John Morrison as the survivors) Team Batista VS Team Orton - Elimination Match In one of the more interesting matchups of the night, Batista leads ECW Champion Matt Hardy, R-Truth, and World Tag Team Champions CM Punk & Kofi Kingston into battle. On the other side of the ring, Randy Orton captains Cody Rhodes, United States Champion Shelton Benjamin, Mark Henry, & Intercontinental Champion William Regal. That's a lot of champions involved in the same match. This match, more than the other Survivor Series-style matches, has the possibility of going in the most different directions. It wouldn't be a huge shock to see any of these ten men involved at the end of the match. I'm not saying that I expect Cody Rhodes to single-handedly beat Team Batista and end up as the sole survivor or anything, but just that it wouldn't be a huge shock if, say, Orton & Rhodes won the match, or if Matt Hardy & R-Truth won it for their side. The most interesting thing to look for here is how Batista & Orton do. Orton because he's still working his way back into the full swing of things, and Batista because of my assumptions on why he dropped the World Title back to Chris Jericho (which I went over in v22 of The HIPE). I'm looking for Batista to come out victorious here, putting himself right back into the World Title picture, no matter what happens in the World Title match later in the night. Orton, of course, will be back there eventually, but he still has business to handle with CM Punk, and I think that'll last until Armageddon or so. After making the predictions I made in v22, I almost have to pick Batista here, don't I? Winners: Team Batista (Batista as the sole survivor) The Undertaker VS Big Show - Casket Match For me, this is the least-anticipated match on the entire card, and it's not even really all that close. Nothing about this match, this feud, or the people involved interest me right now. That's really not a good thing for WWE, as this is one of their biggest (literally and figuratively) feuds going today. Big Show has made Taker look bad on multiple occasions in this feud so far, and it's because of that reason that I'm picking Taker to come out victorious in this match. I've read some interesting predictions about this match, but I don't think any of them will be happening, at least not today. Some people think the Umaga/Taker feud will begin as Umaga attacks Taker after the match. Some people think Edge makes his return to cost Taker the match, coming out of the casket when Taker goes in to put Show inside of it. I've even seen some people predict that Christian makes his WWE return here, either alone or with Edge, to attack Taker. Again, I don't think any of those scenarios play out today, even though I've been going on record and calling the Taker/Umaga feud all year long. Instead, Taker wins here, places Show inside of a XXL-sized casket, and then goes on to Smackdown, where I predict Umaga makes his return, either this week or next week. I'd say that's vague enough for me to cover a few bases. Winner: The Undertaker Triple H VS Jeff Hardy VS Vladimir Kozlov - WWE Title Match I simply can't say this enough.. I'm really enjoying the transformations in Jeff Hardy's character in recent weeks. It's a character tweak that he's been in dire need of for a while now, and it still allows him to remain a face because he continues to be the underdog. The "dark" twists have just been brilliantly done, though. My initial thoughts about Kozlov and his rise towards the top of Smackdown have cooled a bit. I still think he's got a bright future ahead of him, especially if he continues to improve and can get someone as his mouthpiece. However, he appears to be nothing more than a side story to the HHH/Jeff feud, and perhaps that's for the best right now. He's legit enough to remain a tough hurdle to clear, without actually having to win anything right now, and he helps make whoever beats him look better. Right now, I can only see one of two endings to this match: 1. Jeff Hardy wins and becomes the new WWE Champion. 2. Triple H eeks out another victory, and Jeff snaps afterwards, wearing the champion out with a chair or something. I don't mean just hitting him once and then bailing. I'm talking about mollywhopping him, drawing blood, etc. Basically, the placement of this match on the card will determine what happens, in my opinion. If this is the night's main event, look for Jeff to win and cause the snooch of every teenage girl in attendance to get moist. However, if this isn't the main event, look for Triple H to win and Jeff to man up afterwards. I'll say this right now.. I don't think this match gets the main event nod. Sorry, Jeff fans. He'll earn himself a final one-on-one match with Triple H, though, by attacking him after this match. Only, this time, it'll be Triple H demanding the match, insteading of Jeff having to basically beg to get a shot. Winner: Triple H Chris Jericho VS John Cena - World Title Match Ho. Ly. Shit. To say that I'm eagerly anticipating John Cena's return to the company would be an understatement that rivals any epic understatement that has ever been made throughout the course of history. Raw just isn't the same without him, and the declining ratings numbers in his absence are proof of that. If nothing else, this is a good business move to have him back, regardless of what certain people would like to think. This is all a bit anti-climactic, because those who did read HIPEv22 already know what my prediction for this match is, and where I think it goes from there, but just to humor myself a bit, I'll go over it again, but with a Cliffs Notes version.. Batista is upset about the direction of his character, and complains about it.. to soothe his ego, the company gives him the World Title.. the company then announces John Cena gets the title shot at Survivor Series.. Batista's ego kicks in again, and he refuses to do the J-O-B at the P-P-V.. because of his "early retirement" talk, the company wants to make Batista happy, so they strike a deal with him.. he drops the title back to Chris Jericho, who then drops the title to Cena, and Big Dave gets to win the title back from Cena. To me, that scenario makes sense on all fronts. Batista gets what he wants (not having to job to Cena), and he gets an extra title reign out of it, getting to beat Cena again in doing so. Jericho's character is already one that wins and loses by the skin of his teeth (that's a strange saying, by the way), anyway, so this does nothing to hurt him, unless Cena squashes him in two minutes. Cena is back, and would probably win and lose against anybody they tell him to, as long as he can continue doing what it is he loves. Win/win/win all around. Because of my assumptions, though, I have no choice but to go with Cena as the winner here. Sure, it'll piss the haters off, but as I've gone over before.. haters hate.. it's all they know in life. If they're going to hate no matter the outcome, Cena might as well get the belt back, and then move on to the rematch with Batista that people have been waiting for since September. Winner: John Cena Being one of the bigger events of the year, I'm looking forward to watching this show later today, and not just because my boy Cena is back. Watching the traditional Survivor Series matches is always fun for me, as it reminds me of watching this event when I was a kid. With a total of six matches on the show, five of which I'm really looking forward to for one reason or another, I'm expecting a good viewing experience. *BREAKING NEWS* As I was typing this out, word came out that Jeff Hardy was found unconscious at his hotel in Boston, and was then taken to a local hospital. Since then, it is being reported that this is a possible work on WWE's part, and for Jeff's sake, I certainly hope so, because he's putting on some of the best work of his career. This makes things very interesting leading into the show, however. If this wasn't a work, I would imagine that he'd be out of the title match tonight, and if it involves what people think it might be involving, he can kiss his WWE career goodbye, as well. If this is a work, though, he could still miss the event, in a ridiculously cheap bait-and-switch. It could be revealed that Vladimir Kozlov "injured" him, blah blah blah, giving Kozlov the one-on-one match with Triple H, and Jeff can face the winner either on Smackdown this week, or at Armageddon when he returns from his "injuries". At the same time, he could still wrestle tonight, and this could just be a way of adding to his underdog status. Stay tuned to the LoP main page for updates. *BREAKING NEWS PART DEUX* Word has also come out that Edge was seen arriving at the airport in Boston last night, which would indicate that he's either returning tonight, or sometime on TV this week. Fuck, this might throw off my predictions from earlier. Heh. Honestly, I think they'll save his return for TV, if for no other reason than it'll take some of the steam away from John Cena's big return. Again, stay tuned for updates. Click Here For The HIPE & HIPRN Archives, in case you'd like to go back and read any of my 50 or so Main Page columns What Hustle Is Listening To Right Now: "Return To The Basics" by Tassho Pierce aka Emirc, Evidence, & DJ Babu.. "Room Service" by Tassho Pierce aka Emirc & DJ Q-Bert.. "Big Screen" by GLC & Kanye West.. "See Clearly" by Killah Priest & Chief Kamachi.. "So Damn Tuff" by Heltah Skeltah, Buckshot, & Ruste Juxx Writer's Note: DaveyBoy, if you're reading this, I have a challenge for you. Looks like you have defeated SkittleZ in your yearly PPV Prediction Contest. Congratulations on that. However, with word coming out that SkittleZ is moving on to face LoPForums member Mavsman in the 2009 version of the contest, that appears to leave you without an opponent for the year. Enter: Hustle. If you're game, how about you and I face each other next year? You pick the starting date and all of that jibberyjoo, since you're the reigning champion. Deal? That takes care of yet another one, folks. HIPEv25 is now wrapped, packaged, and ready to be shipped out. Believe The HIPE. It's real. It's 7:30am, I've pulled yet another all-nighter, and now I need to make some breakfast, so I'm ready to get the fuck out of here. I'll be back tomorrow.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. with another edition of The HIPE 25, as well as my thoughts on Survivor Series. Be there, or be square. Until then, from a place where the sun hasn't come out in almost 72 hours, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa. "I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meeting quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda.." "See, that's the difference between you and I.. you get money, and you get crazy.. I get crazy, and I get money.." Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com 
|
|