|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Hustle on Saturday, November 8, 2008 at 7:03 PM EST
 Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc "Not sayin I'm the best, but til they find somethin better, I am here.. no fear.. write me a letter.." Today's intro line is brought to you by Cupid Valentino.. Ice Cold.. Possum Aloysius Jenkins.. Dookie.. Johnny Vulture.. Chamelio Salamander.. Mr Three Stacks himself, Andre 3000. Ladies and gentlemen (as well as you hoes and scallywags), welcome to The HIPE. Today is going to be a shorter version of my original columns, where I speak on multiple topics instead of just one solid topic. Why? Hell, why not? I do it because I can. That's just how I roll. Speaking of rolling, I think it's about that time to roll on. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!! I did this for Raw, so I figure I'll also give my quick thoughts and opinions after watching last night's episode of Smackdown. Again, this won't be a full rundown of the show, but just what I felt needed to be said about various things. I'll probably end up doing this for Raw and Smackdown every week, as I actually watch them more religiously than either ECW or Impact. Anyway, here goes..  - Watching MVP have his VIP Lounge interrupted is only the latest in a long string of things that is essentially adding up to his complete and total burial. I know some people are saying that it's leading to something, but how much of a push can you possibly give the guy after having him lose 900 matches in a row, get punked out in segment after segment, and get owned on the mic at every possible turn? It just doesn't make any sense to me. He's far too talented to be wasted like this. It just makes me shake my head every single time. I just about have to fast forward through his matches and segments now because I know the outcome right away. - As I mentioned to someone on AIM last night, The Great Khali's "Kiss Cam" segments are serving a purpose. Just like any segments involving Hornswoggle are aimed towards a certain demographic and aren't for everyone, these Khali segments are geared towards the female audience. He's actually becoming more and more over with the live female audience each time they have him kissing people. The IWC may not enjoy the segments, but the IWC also represents such a small percentage of the WWE audience that it really doesn't matter what we think in the grand scheme of things. That's why Paul London was just released and isn't a multiple-time WWE Champion. That's why Khali is even still around in the first place. Various folks in the IWC think they're more important than they really are, and they feel that "our" opinion should be the end all be all. I'm glad that I understand the big picture. I "know my role", as a famous wrestler once said. - Thank goodness Aries Spears retained his US Title against Uncle Tom. Seriously, folks, it would be a damn shame to see Shelton Benjamin's push come to an end because of someone as ridiculously overrated as R-Truth. Somebody tell Mr Killings that he doesn't need to expose the business with all of his pointless flips and twists that only appear to hurt him more than they hurt his opponent. While you're at it, tell him to stop embarrassing his race and get a better entrance. I really don't like that guy. Really, really don't like him. I can't wait until he gets squashed by John Cena for all of that jibba jabba he said about Cena while he was in TNA. - Michelle McCool (get rid of the bangs, my dear) slowly continues hinting at a rather pointless heel turn. Hearing Eve ask her for advice reminded me of the backstage rumor that had McCool trying to teach Natalya how to work a match properly. You know.. Natalya.. the woman who has had professional wrestling in her family since before she was even born. The woman who began her training in the infamous "Hart Family Dungeon". Yeah, that woman. It's really good to know that she was taking wrestling tips from someone who was in a Diva Search competition a few years ago, and who has been wrestling for less time than just about every Diva on the roster. To any of you women out there who are trying to get into the wrestling business, you should take a tip from Michelle McCool. Sleep with The Undertaker, and you'll be absolutely set in your career, even if you don't really deserve it. Is it bad that I want Maria to become the new Divas Champion? - Not that it affects his in-ring work in the slighest, but isn't it obvious at this point that John Morrison prefers men? What? I know I'm not the only one who can see that. Just because I'm the only one bold enough to say it in front of an audience, that doesn't mean I'm alone in thinking that way. Again, it doesn't make him a better or a worse wrestler. I'm just pointing things out and calling them as I see them. He just isn't hiding it very well, that's all. That shit he does where he puts the bling on his abs? That's just brutal. How Triple H didn't burst into a fit of laughter when Morrison showed him the bling, I'll never know. He couldn't even do the "Ravishing" Rick Rude gyrations correctly, and it just came across as a strange way of hitting on the WWE Champion. Just.. creepy. - Angry Jeff Hardy's mic skills are actually worse than Regular Jeff Hardy's mic skills. That's kinda scary. When he's just speaking normally, he sounds robotic and a bit uncomfortable on the mic, but when he's angry and he gets in his "RAWR~! I'M EXTREeEeEeEeEeEeEeMeEeEeEe~!" mode, it just sounds like he's being forced to say things against his will. Jeff, if you really want to blow people's minds, try and relax the next time you get a shot on the mic. It'll go a long way. It's not like you're brand new to this. Come on now. - Alright, now everyone knows Brie Bella has a twin sister that has been helping her since her debut. Hooray. Now, can we possibly find a way to get the sisters not to call their spots so visibly? It was like watching a training session on Dancing With The Stars. "One, two, three, NOW".. and then double facebusters. It was just really.. bad. I hear they're both pretty decent wrestlers, so perhaps it's just nerves, or perhaps it was just an off night. Here's hoping for an improvement next week then, I guess. - Why is it that Jeff Hardy can hit John Morrison, The Miz, Vladimir Kozlov, and The Undertaker with a chair as he's going crazy, but he doesn't hit Triple H? What was the point of Triple H hitting The Miz with a Pedigree after Jeff snapped and had walked up the ramp with steel chair in hand? It's almost as if the company wants to protect Trips somehow. Hmm.. All in all, it was a decent episode of Smackdown. I did enjoy the HHH/Jeff VS MorriMiz match, and the Taker/Kozlov match was fun while it lasted. I even enjoyed the fact that Vickie Guerrero was able to continue getting good heel heat, even without having to be over-the-top. She showed more of a natural personality this week, which was nice. Now, if they could just figure out a way to give MVP some heat back, and then stop protecting Triple H like he has anything to be worried about, they'll be right back on track. Sting. Kurt Angle. Booker T. Kevin Nash. Scott Steiner.  Together, these men form the Main Event Mafia in TNA. Although they're a brand new faction, they've already gone on to wreak havoc and have caused a whole lot of damage. For those of you who don't watch TNA (which means just about all of you), these guys (and Queen Sharmell) got together as "legends" who have been feeling "disrespected" by the younger wrestlers in TNA. They feel that the younger wrestlers haven't had to pay the dues that previous generations of wrestlers have had to deal with. They're basically a combination of the Four Horsemen and the nWo. Horsemen because of the stylish suits they wear, and the fact that they talk about all the best that life has to offer (and has offered them on a repeated basis). nWo because they've been dominant in their very short time together, coming together to take out those who stand in their way, even when the odds are already unfairly on their side. In theory, this is a decent idea, albeit one that has been beaten half to death in wrestling history. I've never really had a problem with factions in wrestling, as even the silly ones provide ways to get people TV time that may not otherwise be able to get it. I do, however, have a few problems with the Main Event Mafia storyline and how it has been handled to this point. Surprise, surprise.. I have a beef with the TNA writers over how they're doing something. Shocking, I know. It's just frustrating when TNA takes what could/should/would be a good idea, and then they fuck it up from jump street, and it spirals out of control after that. It's one thing when they have a stupid idea and make it even worse, but it's times like this that make it hard to keep watching TNA and half-heartedly hoping they'll become legit competition for Vince McMahon & company. Anyway, on to the problems I have with this whole thing.. First and foremost, before they even get a chance to wrestle, why are Sting and Kevin Nash acting like faces, while Booker T, Kurt Angle, and Scott Steiner act like heels? Shouldn't the group.. oh, I don't know.. actually act like a group? With Sting, it's especially strange, because he almost seems to be possessed by his face paint. When he's "Steve Borden", in the suit and shades, he's prickish and almost.. almost.. on his way to being a decent heel. However, when he dons the face paint and becomes "Sting", he begins playing to the crowd. Of course, when he does this, the TNA sheep cheer for him. Kevin Nash seems to be reliving his nWo days, where he could do and say anything he wanted, even if it was getting cheered, because he had all of that backstage "stroke" and nobody could really tell him (and the other members of the nWo) otherwise. That isn't good, because the more of a face response he gets, the more he'll play to the crowds, and the vicious cycle will spin out of control. Sting's excuse may just be that he's been a face since the day after Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and therefore he may have it set in his old age that he's a face. That, or he's a complete egomaniac. It's your call, really. I'll leave that one up to you. Another problem I have with this storyline so far is the people that are opposing the MEM. Sure, there's Samoa Joe. Sure, there's AJ Styles. That's fine and dandy, but they're going into "war" with people like Eric Young, Consequences Creed, and Jay Lethal? Seriously? Look, I like Jay Lethal. I think he's extremely talented and has a bright future ahead of him in the wrestling business, but right now, up against guys like Sting, Angle, Booker, and the like? Yikes. Creed is in an even worse situation, because really, other than the silly gimmick and the afro, what the hell do the fans know about him, anyway? I'm not even going to get started on Eric Young, who has been a joke since his debut. With the recent addition of Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin to the "Midcard Mafia", there's some promise, but I worry that this will be yet another half-assed attempt at pushing the Guns. What this is doing is showcasing the general problem that people have had with TNA for the past few years.. they push the hell out of the older, more "established" talent, while they completely abandon their own "homegrown" talent. They've spent so much time making the members of the MEM look good, and their own stars look so second-rate in comparison. I'm not saying to make Consequences Creed look like the second-coming of Eddie Guerrero or anything, but this is ridiculous. Raise your hand if you could watch Creed pin Kurt Angle TODAY and not have your jaw hit the floor? Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. My final problem with this is a simple question: Who is this storyline going to benefit in the long run? You have faces being booed and heels being cheered, while also having faces being cheered and heels being booed. You have legit main event guys (hence the MEM name) facing off against two main event guys and a group of midcarders (at best). You have Samoa Joe, who has now been involved in a feud with every single member of the MEM already. On one hand, you're going to make your main event talent look really weak if they lose to midcard talent that probably doesn't even belong in the same ring as they do. On the other hand, if your main event talent goes on to steamroll through their opposition like they should, at face value, it leaves them with nothing to do and nobody to face off against afterwards. Do they end up splitting and feuding with each other? If so, wouldn't that shit on TNA's homegrown talent even further, taking up multiple main event feuds and not leaving room for the Joes and AJs of the company to feud with anybody other than people like Cute Kip and that Rhaka Khan dude? TNA appears to have booked their way into a corner with this storyline. If it were up to me, people like Christian Cage, Homicide, Hernandez, or Rhino would need to align themselves with Joe and AJ, just to balance things out a bit. I've read some people saying that Christopher Daniels should drop the Curry Man gimmick, return as "The Fallen Angel" again, and join up with Joe and AJ, but in the essence of the storyline, it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. Daniels will be turning 37 next month, so he's much more "old school" than "new school", even though he does have more of a "new school" wrestling style. Again, though, the company has booked themselves into a bit of a corner, because there's nobody else that really would help out the "younger" side of this storyline. For the most part, it would just end up being more midcarders that nobody would see as legit competition. Perhaps they could sign the recently released Chuck Palumbo and/or Paul London? Pardon me.. I have to giggle a bit at the mere thought of those two helping change the tide of this entire battle. Thankfully, this is still mega-early into the storyline, so there's plenty of time for things to change and for the usual storyline twists and turns to take place. I just fail to see how this is going to end anything less than bad for TNA, as a whole, its fans, and the morale of its younger wrestlers. I hope I'm wrong on that. I really do. Regardless of what it may come across as from time to time, I really do want TNA to be successful, just because it helps up the game of everyone else around them. Stop letting me down, TNA. Jeff Jarrett, I know you're reading this right now.. get at me. You and I have some things to discuss. I think I might be able to help you out a bit. Writer's Note: This is going to be the exact same Writer's Note that I posted yesterday, but I need to make sure everyone gets a chance to see it. I'll probably end up posting this for the next several days, at the very least. On the front page of LoP, some of you may have noticed that only my most recent edition of the HIPE is posted. It's not that the others are gone, it's just to make sure the other columnists get their shine, as well. Do not worry, loyal readers. The rest of the HIPE columns, as well as all of my main page HIPRN columns, are located at the following (just click the link, of course): Click Here For The HIPE & HIPRN Archives What Hustle Is Listening To Right Now: "Swagga Jackas" by Chepo, "Day N Nite" by Kid Cudi, "Body Bags" by Cassidy & Cory Gunz, "Life In Marvelous Times" by Mos Def, and "Last Of A Dying Breed" by Ludacris & Lil Wayne And, with that, we come to the end of another ride, with ya boy, Hustle, at the wheel. Believe The HIPE. It's real. I still really appreciate all the kind words and shows of support that you folks are giving me as I get down with the get down on this daily column game. I'm going to be honest here.. I really didn't expect it to be so well-received. Sure, some people with absolutely nothing better to do with their lives like to sit around and complain, but really, I take pride that I mean that much to people that they feel the need to sit and talk about me, especially when I'm not even around. Hi, haters. I'll be back tomorrow.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. with something to get you riled up again, I'm sure. Until then, from 15 feet away from a washing machine, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa. "I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meeting quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda.." Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com 
|
|