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Submitted by Hustle on Friday, November 7, 2008 at 5:55 PM EST
 Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc "Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.." Today's intro line is a pretty famous quote that has dozens of variations, but the above is the one I heard growing up. It's the truth, too. Hi, haters. Welcome to yet another edition of The HIPE. We're dipping back into the "Ask Hustle" feedbag today because I need to empty it out a bit. That doesn't mean I want you folks to stop sending in your questions, though. Please continue doing so. I'm enjoying it, and you all seem to be enjoying it, as well, so let's keep it going. I think it's about that time, ladies and gentlemen. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!! What does TNA need to do to become legitimate competition for WWE? (Alvin) Find a way to get John Cena, Triple H, The Undertaker, Batista, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Stephanie McMahon all under long-term contracts with them. That would be a fine and dandy start. Sure, it would take a lot of time, effort, and money to get that accomplished, but hey, it's worth it to become legitimate competition, I would think. It may even take a lot of hallucinogens, and perhaps various death threats, to make it happen, but again.. it'd be worth it if they could move that far up the totem pole, wouldn't it? From there, they could probably try and get WWE's writing and booking teams under contract. TNA has proven that their biggest problem is the decision-making from their people in charge. The wrong people go over in matches and feuds, certain storylines make zero sense, characters have no direction more often than not, and the list goes on and on. I'm not saying that WWE's writers and bookers are perfect, or that they always make the right decisions, but they have a much better track record than their TNA counterparts. Another thing they could do is actually seem like they give a shit about their homegrown and/or younger talent. I have a column about the Main Event Mafia in the works, so I won't get too deep into this subject, but it's something that needs to be done. Yes, even if they brought in all of the names I mentioned in the first paragraph. Those guys coming in is no excuse for guys like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, etc to be treated like red-headed stepchildren. Guys like that helped make TNA the name that they are right now, so it's sad to see them forgotten for other wrestlers. Am I the only one that feels TNA is cursed with bad luck, and that even if everything I mentioned here came to fruition, it still wouldn't work? What is your favorite episode of "The Backyardigans"? (Evil Snuffaluffagus) Ha! Sorry, it's just funny that I've got a Backyardigans question to answer. Hell, I even had a few closet fans of the show come out and praise me for having the guts to admit I watch it. Come on, folks.. there's nothing to be afraid of. First of all, who gives a rat's ass what other people think about you? Second of all, it's an entertaining show. What exactly is so wrong about being entertained by a television show? Nothing. Nothing, I say. As for my favorite episode, well, there's a few of them: "Riding The Range" - Come on, it's an episode where they're rapping. How could I NOT enjoy this one? The song that shares its name with the title of the episode is one of the catchier songs the show has ever done. "Surf's Up" - An episode about surfing? One where Pablo, a penguin, wears a wetsuit when he gets in the water? Yeah, this one was a winner to me. "Race Around The World" - Why? This is why.. Dun-duh-daaaaaah! "The Legend Of The Volcano Sisters" - They did an entire Hawaii-themed episode. I was genetically predisposed to liking this episode. Huka Pele! "A Giant Problem" - Tasha steals the show in this episode as a "giant". She's cute, what do you want me to say? I don't think she gets enough spotlight on the show, to be honest. Seems like she plays a background role more often than not, which is a shame. "International Super Spy" - An hour-long episode? A parody of James Bond movies? Cyndi Lauper guest voicing one of the songs? Check, check, and check. I also like my apple juice boxes to be shaken, not stirred. Winner. "What's Bugging You?" - This one is a sentimental favorite of mine, as it was the very first episode of the show that I ever watched. Pablo is really funny as "Mr Spiffy" here, and the "What's bugging *points* you?" line always makes me smile. Tasha is really cute again in this one. "Chichen-Itza Pizza" - For them to do an entire episode where the music is in the theme of college fight songs is absolutely brilliant. Teaching your preschoolers about preschool-related things is one thing. Teaching them about college-related things is something different altogether. Do you get paid for writing your columns? (John Doe) There's a trial period for every main page columnist at LoP where they aren't getting paid at all, but once they reach the two-month mark (which isn't as bad as it seems, because with your initial deadlines, that's only four columns that you'd need to write), they begin receiving a check every two weeks. I won't bother going into in-depth financial details, but we do get paid "X" amount of dollars for writing, and then we get "bonuses" based on the amount of page views and ad clicks that our columns provide. It's not anywhere near enough to live off of, but it's a pretty decent chunk of change nonetheless. It's more than enough to have a little fun with, though, for someone like me who doesn't have to worry about things like rent and other expenses that most folks worry about. A lot of people always ask me this question, and then they talk about asking to be hired, like it's that easy. It doesn't work that way, folks. You need to sign up at LoPForums.com, if you haven't done so already, and start posting your work in the Columns Forum there. When you've shown that you can follow the rules of the CF, have a decent enough streak of solid work posted, have shown a desire to leave feedback for other people's work, and can bring something different to the table.. well, then you just might get called up to write for the main page. A good word from me doesn't hurt, either. Whoops. Did I just say that? Umm.. forget you just read that. Move along. Basically, get to writing, and don't give it up (unless you're terrible at it). Some people get called up quickly, and some people get called up after a long journey, while some people never get called up at all. Don't think it's a guarantee that you'll be getting anything. This is supposed to be about having fun, so just focus on having fun with your writing, and you'll be just fine. Some people think this is their audition to write for the New York Times or something. They think that their readers won't be able to tell if and when they aren't writing for fun. Trust me, folks.. it comes across in your writing. If you could have any job in the wrestling business, other than an actual wrestler, what would it be? (John Doe) Damn.. that's something I don't think about very often. I salute you for asking this question. They'd all be pretty fun jobs if you really stop and think about it. Being a Manager would mean that you could still get time in front of a camera, and you'd still get to cut some promos, as well. Being a Commentator of some sort would be fun, as long as you were allowed to let your real personality come through and not be straightjacketed due to the higher-ups or TV censors, etc. Being a Writer/Booker would be fun, because really, how many of us have ever let our imaginations run wild over what could/should happen with this wrestler, or where a particular storyline should go? Honestly, though, I think my personality would be best-suited for a Commentator's role. I'm not saying I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the wrestling world or anything, but I do speak with enthusiasm, so being robotic and monotone wouldn't be a problem. My voice is plenty loud and plenty clear, so that works well for me. I'd probably work better for something like RoH, PWG, CHIKARA, etc, because I like to be silly and humorous most of the time. Vince McMahon would probably try to have me killed if I brought my humor to an episode of Raw, Smackdown, or ECW. I'd also like to think that my "OH MY GOD!" would sound a lot more natural than Joey Styles' version. Do not get it twisted, though, folks.. I really enjoy what it is I'm doing now. Getting to write about wrestling, and to do it with no real censor at all, is great. I have a lot of opinions, and this lets me get those opinions out and heard by a lot of people. I can't go wrong with that. Are you a fan of MMA at all? (Keivon) I used to always follow MMA on the internet, but I couldn't truly call myself any sort of a "fan" because I wasn't ordering their pay-per-views or attending any of their events. The very first "Ultimate Fighter" show changed that for me, because I started watching it, and I really began following up on things and learning more about the fighters in the MMA world. I still wasn't watching any of the UFC PPVs, though, unless I knew someone who was ordering them and I could watch it at their place. Brock Lesnar's arrival in UFC, Gina Carano & Kimbo Slice in EliteXC, as well as the current season of "The Ultimate Fighter", have upped my interest in the sport. Sure, EliteXC is now out of business, but Kimbo was enough of a "show" that I couldn't help but pay attention to his fights. A lot of people complain that he isn't the best technical fighter out there, but I don't care. I'm watching him to see him knock someone the fuck out, not to amaze me with how many holds he knows. Gina Carano is so insanely hot that I'd almost.. almost.. not care if she wasn't a good fighter, as well, but that isn't the case. She's been outclassing every woman she has faced to this point. While I don't think this season's TUF has been overly spectacular or anything, I just have more time to actually sit and watch the episodes, so I find myself getting caught up in things right now. I've already mentioned Junie Browning, who has been a troublemaker, to say the least, but he's shown some serious skills when he's been in the ring. Phillipe Nover impressed the hell out of me on this past week's episode, absolutely mowing through Dave Kaplan. Vinny Magalhaes has some amazing Jiu-Jitsu, and if he can improve on his stand-up game, he'll be a dominant force. Next week's episode is one I'm really looking forward to for the Kyle Kingsbury/Krzysztof Soszynski fight. Those were two of my favorites going in, so watching them fight each other should be fun. I also must say that the Frank Mir/Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira fight that will come at the end of this season is going to be fun. Brock Lesnar's thus far brief UFC career has been a treat to watch, in my opinion. His debut fight against Frank Mir blew people away because of how dominant and agressive he was. His aggression ended up costing him the fight, though, as he fell victim to a kneebar submission, but he still opened eyes all over the MMA world. He still had his doubters when he stepped into The Octagon to face Heath Herring. He then went on to break Herring's orbital bone seconds into the fight and proceeded to toy with him for the rest of the fight, posing and playing to the crowd on multiple occasions. Next up for Brock is a fight with UFC legend Randy Couture at UFC 91 on November 15th. It's being called "The Biggest Fight In UFC History", and while I can't exactly speak on that, I can say that there hasn't been an MMA fight, period, that has gotten me as excited as this one has. It's going to be a war, and honestly, I'm going against the grain by saying that I think Brock wins the fight. Either way, I'll be happy as long as it's a good fight, as this will be the first UFC PPV that I actually purchase myself. The NBA season is now underway, so who are your picks for the NBA Finals and eventual NBA Champion? (Ballin!) Alright, Jim Jones, it goes like this.. as a Lakers fan, I'd feel dirty if I picked a team other than the Lakers to represent the Western Conference in the NBA Finals. They're the deepest team in the entire league, easily, with 10-11 guys that will be contributing on a nightly basis. They're so deep that they can afford to have a player like Lamar Odom coming off the bench, which just isn't fair. Andrew Bynum will make an extremely dangerous team even more dangerous, and considering the fact that the Lakers ripped through the Western Conference without him last season, that's frightening for every other team in the West. Sure, teams like New Orleans, Utah, Houston, and Phoenix, among others, are contenders, but they don't pack the top-to-bottom punch that the Lakers do. It's a little more complicated in the Eastern Conference. Boston won it all last season, and they have to be right at the top of anybody's list for this season, but we'll have to see how hungry Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, & company stay now that they've been to the top of the mountain. Repeating as champion is much more difficult than becoming a champion, of course. Teams like Orlando, Cleveland, and Toronto all get a mention in this conversation, as well. I think they're all a part short of being a legit contender, though. Detroit is an interesting pick now that they've acquired Allen Iverson. They were off to a good start this season without him, but he can only help them with his ability to score in several different ways, and he was still a better assist man than Chauncey Billups was, despite his shoot-first stereotype. I can't really go ahead and pick Detroit just yet, however. I'd need to wait and see how well they do with A.I. first, as he hasn't even suited up for them yet. This leaves just one team.. Miami. A healthy Dwyane Wade, Shawn Marion getting a full year with the team, an improving Udonis Haslem, a rookie sensation in Michael Beasley, and a surprising rookie star in Mario Chalmers make them my pick to come out of the East. As the year goes on, I'd expect their rookies to do nothing but improve, which obviously makes the team better as a whole. Lakers VS Heat. Kobe VS D-Wade. Yeah, I can definitely dig that. It would be exciting on all levels, and it would be a high-profile matchup, which benefits the league itself. Even as I think about this without any real bias or homerism, it would be hard for me to pick against the Lakers here, should these teams meet in the NBA Finals. I think the Lakers would just be too tough inside for Miami, and it would be the complete opposite of last year's Celtics/Lakers Finals, with the Lakers being bullied in the low-post all series long (without Andrew Bynum, of course). Go Lakers. What was it like to be there in attendance for Ric Flair's retirement match? (John Doe) I don't even know if I could come up with the right words to do that feeling any justice, but I'll certainly try my best to paint the picture for you. Everywhere you went while you were on the Citrus Bowl grounds, all you'd hear was "WHOOOO!" from people. In the parking lot, in the field next to the stadium where the Fan Axxess was being held, in the concession lines, in the restrooms, in the seated crowd itself.. literally, everywhere you went.. "WHOOOO!".. and it went on all day long. From early that morning, the people were ready for history, in one way or another. During Ric's pre-match promo, the crowd hype went to an entirely new level. We knew it was coming, and coming soon. When the match finally did take place, people went crazy during Ric's entrance. The people in the surrounding sections of where I was sitting didn't really know how to react when Shawn Michaels made his entrance. It was more of a respectful applause than anything else. There were other sections giving HBK his usual face response, though. He definitely wasn't the crowd favorite in that one, though, and he wasn't even close to being so. About halfway into the match, there was an even stronger electricity in the air. It was amazing. People went from expecting Ric to lose the match and end his career that night, to legitimately thinking he would be escaping with a victory. When we all looked up at the big screens for the "I'm sorry, I love you" moment, you could almost HEAR the tears start to flow in that stadium. It felt like having your heart literally tugged on. People were absolutely bawling. It transcended wrestling at that point, and it almost became like having to say goodbye to a family member. It's almost a shame to even have to compare it to that, but it's the truth. A lot of people probably spent more time with Ric Flair growing up than they did with their own parents. To see him walk away was really like a family member having to walk away. All in all, it's a memory that I'll never forget, and I was truly honored to be there that night. That was worth the $270 ticket price all by itself, if you ask me, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the only WrestleMania 24 attendee to tell you that. Do you take ECW seriously? Why or why not? (Matt) Well, I don't think the brand is on the same level as Raw or Smackdown, if that's what you're asking. I don't see how anyone could take them seriously on that level, but I do watch the show every week, and I enjoy getting to watch guys who could very well be the future of the business. On that level, I definitely take ECW seriously. They've got people like Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, Finlay, and Mark Henry, who are all favorites of mine for various reasons. My only problem with ECW is that they don't exactly have the largest roster in the wrestling business. By "largest", I mean the most number of wrestlers, not the size of the wrestlers. They only have what seems to be a half-dozen or so people that make regular appearances, and with the blurring of the brand lines these days, some of those wrestlers are appearing on other shows just as often. I realize that ECW's show is only an hour-long, and therefore, having 50 people on the roster wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, but as good as the matches can be, it's pretty much the same people wrestling each other every week. That needs to be fixed somehow. While we're on the subject of ECW, can people please stop complaining about how this ECW is nothing like the "old" ECW? I don't understand why that's even still a concern to some people. The intention was never to completely replicate Paul Heyman's "baby", so I don't see why people were expecting it to. Then they complain about the lack of "hardcore" wrestling on the current ECW show. If it isn't the same product, why would you expect the same wrestling? Most of the guys on the original ECW used "hardcore" wrestling to become famous because that was the only thing they could do remotely well. The guys on the current ECW roster can actually wrestle, for the most part, and even people like Mark Henry who aren't the best technical wizards around have their own lane to getting over, without having to use garbage cans, kendo sticks, Nintendos, and cheese graters. Writer's Note: On the front page of LoP, some of you may have noticed that only my most recent edition of the HIPE is posted. It's not that the others are gone, it's just to make sure the other columnists get their shine, as well. Do not worry, loyal readers. The rest of the HIPE columns, as well as all of my main page HIPRN columns, are located at the following (just click the link, of course): My Columns Believe The HIPE. It's real. We've rocked and rolled through double-digit editions here, folks. Of course, you need to check back tomorrow.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. as we continue on our trek towards triple digits. Ha. Until then, from one of the biggest Blood neighborhoods in the entire state of Hawaii, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa. "I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meeting quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda.." Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com 
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