|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Hustle on Wednesday, November 5, 2008 at 7:01 PM EST
 Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc "Yes we can." Today's intro line is from a slightly different world than my usual lines come from. I usually dip into hip-hop for this, but today, a line from a song just didn't feel important enough. It's an important day in this country. It's the beginning of a new era, one that is offering change, progress, and hope. President-elect Obama's Grant Park rally speech was absolutely amazing, and I'll be the first to admit that it made me very emotional at times. I got swept up in the moment, without question, but I've spoken with supporters of John McCain who have admitted that the speech was one of the best they've ever heard. Congratulations to Mr Obama, his family, his supporters, and to anyone who felt this country needed a different direction. After that "speech" of my own.. welcome to the HIPE, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the one typing this thing out, so that would make me your party host for the day.. ya boy, Hustle.. in.. the.. building. I hope everyone's having a great today, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Let's get this on and poppin, cause I think it's about that time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!! It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was howling through the trees, and the frequent flashes of lightning cast an ominous glow over everything. I knew that this was going to be an extremely difficult thing for me to do. I've been through a lot of things in my life, and I've lived through some wild and crazy experiences, so there wasn't much that I could admit legitimately scared me. This, however, scared me half to death. I had heard so many different things about this place, both from people who had been there themselves, as well as those who had just heard the horror stories. My stomach was in knots. I just couldn't put it off any longer, though. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and paid this place a visit. The RoHWrestling.com message board. I still get chills up and down my spine when I think about it. The stories I'd heard about this place were absolutely endles. The worst marks on the planet reside there. The total number of women these guys have dated in their lives was somewhere between "zero" and "zero". If most of them jumped up in the air, they'd get stuck. You know, the usual stuff. I'm usually not one to buy into stories like that, but hearing them so many times from so many people.. well.. where there's smoke, there's fire, as the saying goes. Once I got to the site, I took a few seconds to see the different sections, just to gauge what I was up against. The very first thing I saw was someone offering to host numerous RoHbots in his hotel room for a big get-together before this year's WrestleMania weekend shows. There's just something creepy about a middle-aged man wanting numerous college-aged men to share a hotel room with him. It would be one thing if it was a last-minute offer to people who had problems with finding their own lodging, but it was something that was planned far in advance, and he was offering it with no questions asked. The Roofie Coladas may have been flowing freely that weekend. I should've known, right then and there, what I was up against, but I had to continue checking the site. I found some actual wrestling conversation, which is what I was there for in the first place. Before this, I had heard all the stories about RoH fans being "elitist", but, to that point, I hadn't witnessed any of that for myself. I clicked on a thread and ended up seeing someone post about how Jimmy Jacobs was the best promo man in the history of wrestling because he didn't have "the system" holding him back by writing things for him or suggesting things he should say. Now, don't get me wrong, because I really like Jimmy Jacobs' promo work, but to call him the best ever? Really? Of course, that wasn't enough for me. No, I had to continue on. I had already come this far, so I figured I might as well check out the rest of the horror. Shots at WWE? Check. Shots at TNA? Check. Mentioning the most obscure wrestler possible at every chance they get? Check. Getting mad at people who have an opposing opinion? Check. Using more "insider" termanology than should be allowed? Check. This was more frightening than any scene in movie history, that's for sure. I couldn't take it any longer. I had to leave. Call me all the names you want, but I just didn't have it in me to continue dealing with the terror that I was witnessing. At the same time, though, I needed to do further research on the phenomenon, so I figured watching RoH DVDs would do the trick. I'd watched numerous RoH DVDs before then, but it was always for the wrestling itself, not to take notes on the fans, so it would be like watching something for the first time. I randomly selected a DVD and popped it in. Almost instantly, I noticed that RoH fans have absolutely no rhythm whatsoever. The fans in the front rows enjoy banging on the guardrails to the entrance music of the various wrestlers, but they can't keep on beat. They try and they try.. Lord knows they try.. but they just can't seem to do it. Doesn't matter if it's a slower song or a faster song. Doesn't matter if it's a rock song or a rap song. They simply cannot do it. What's even worse is that they don't appear to realize how off they are. They just bang away like some sort of rogue porn star. As someone who had rhythm come to him naturally, I was baffled. It was something that I wasn't prepared for. I was a fool, apparently, for thinking that everyone had some sort of rhythm. I felt like my world was coming down all around me. The next thing I noticed was some sort of a strange problem with over-aggression. Throughout the entrances of various heel (or just anyone they don't like, in general) wrestlers, fans would hurl more curse words than your run-of-the-mill Tourette's sufferer. These goofy-looking, scrawny, sad-sack, geeks were suddenly being possessed by the soul of Bruce Lee or something, because they yelling things at pro wrestlers that would get them killed if they yelled them at me. For those of you who have never watched an RoH DVD, or have never attended one of their shows in person, picture this guy:  Now picture him trying to verbally lay the smack down on people like this:    Alright, perhaps that last picture doesn't quite fit with the other ones, but the fact of the matter is that it's still ridiculous that these goofballs purposely "bow up" to wrestlers, especially those on the indy scene, where things aren't quite as "fake" as most people think wrestling is. I give a lot of these wrestlers credit for keeping their composure and not reenacting the "Malice At The Palace" where they run into the crowd and start mollywhopping people left and right. You know, come to think of it, I think the company could make a lot of money on DVD sales if their wrestlers went after some of these fools in the crowd. I know people who don't even like wrestling that would buy DVDs to see that. I continued on, and I got to witness something that is rare and historic on many levels. When a female valet came out (or even a female wrestler, for that matter), I got to see these nerds have an interaction with a woman who isn't a member of their family, a classmate, or a co-worker for the very first time in their lives. I was intrigued to see how they would react. The women of RoH aren't all top-notch in the looks department or anything, but they're out of the league that would be out of the league to these schmucks. Would they be hit on? Would they be whistled at? I turned the volume on my TV up a bit so I could get the full experience of it all, and I heard some things that made me think I was losing my mind. "Slut!" "You're a crack-whore! *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap*" First of all, why would that be the way you'd respond when a woman is in your vicinity? Then, I looked around the crowd a bit more, and I noticed that it was nothing but guys, for the most part. So, let's see here.. it's a bunch of guys that enjoy hanging out with other guys, but then get extremely angry whenever women come around? Hmm.. I think you folks could begin to draw your own conclusions there. Second of all, had any of these people actually ever seen a "crackwhore" in their lives, or was it just something they were chanting to be "cool"? Because of my past, I know what a crackwhore looks like, smells like, talks like, and acts like.. and the women of RoH were far, far, far away from those types of women. I just couldn't understand why these guys were acting as if these women had commited some evil crime against their families or something. It wasn't anything I was used to seeing, that's for sure. When I was a virgin, a lot of girls made me nervous, and I'd get shy around them. I've seen a lot of other virgins that acted the same way around people of the opposite sex, and that's anyone of the opposite sex, not just the better looking ones. It brings me right back to those conclusions I mentioned earlier. Hmm.. maybe.. just maybe. The "typical" RoH fan didn't make any sense to me. At all. None. They acted out in ways that I couldn't even dream of acting out in, and they only seemed to get worse with time. What the hell did they have to be so angry about? Why were they such tactless individuals? I then had the following exchange which shed some light on the situation: "There are gonna be some angry RoHbots after this column." - me "Are there any other kind? Let's face it, life has dealt most of them an appalling hand, and it is hard to blame them for being resentful about it." - LoPForums.com poster/former LoP main page solo columnist ("aisce In Your Hole")/current LoP main page collaborator ("Excuse The Aggravation" with XanMan), aisce Some people are born with some sort of a physical handicap, and they're mad at society because of it. Some people are short and develop a "Napoleon Complex" because of it. Some of these RoHbots were given something much worse than any sort of physical handicap, and they really were lashing out because of it. aisce is a wise man. It still doesn't make them right for acting the way they do, but at least some of it was starting to be understood a bit more. Look, I love Ring Of Honor myself, but I take pride in the fact that I try not to be a "typical" anything. Hell, being a RoH fan and still openly being a John Cena fan just about proves that, doesn't it? I sit back and look at the stereotype that RoHbots have been given, and I'm proud that I'm not classed in with them. Besides, I don't even know how to make a Roofie Colada. Writer's Note: Once again, this has nothing to do with my love for Ring Of Honor, or for my enjoyment of their product. For those of you who have paid any attention, you know that, not only am I a RoH fan, but they're my #1 promotion out there right now. However, something needed to be said about the company's RoHbot fanbase. If there's any one single thing that is preventing the company from becoming any bigger, it might just be a large percentage of these clowns that post at RoH's official message board. Yes, you love Ring Of Honor. I understand that. That's great. That's just wonderful. However, you guys are so blinded that you're failing to see just how stupid you come across as from time to time. You need to learn that your opinion, no matter how much you try to push it, doesn't equal fact, and that other people aren't wrong simply because they disagree with you. You also need to learn not to get so worked up at every show. Just chill out. It's only pro wrestling, people. There's no need to get so hostile all the time. You'll never lose your virginities by acting that way. Believe The HIPE. It's real. Another edition is in the books. This week has flown by for me. I appreciate all the support, motivation, and kind words that everyone has been giving me, either on AIM, MySpace, or through e-mail. I'm just glad that people don't unanimously hate my work, and especially now that I've switched to daily writing. Check back tomorrow.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. for the next installment of the HIPE. Until then, from the 42nd most populated state in the country, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa. "I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meeting quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda.." Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com 
|
|