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Submitted by Hustle on Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 6:41 AM EST
 Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc "If I was you, frankly I'd be embarrassed.. you carry no weight.. words hold no merit.." The "King Of The South", T.I., delivers this week's intro line. It's pretty fitting, too, for this column, as I know the haters will be coming out this week, but they get nothing from me. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the column that puts on for its city.. Hustle Is Posting Right Now. If this is HIPRN, then that would make me the columnist that feels like there's still niggaz that owe him checks, as well as bitches that still owe him sex.. it's ya boy, Hustle, back in the building once again. Here we are at Volume 23, folks, which means it's time to Mike Jordan 'em. There's no sense in the dillying and dallying anymore. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!! This week's column will be Part 1 of a 2-Part series, but with a bit of a twist. You see, I recently had a conversation with fellow LoP main page columnist (and a man with a rather unhealthy obsession with "fruity" things), SkittleZ, and we decided to collaborate (sort of) on a subject that, no matter how often it gets brought up, still gets plenty of attention, from both sides of the discussion. This person's fans support him to the very end, and his haters hate like pro wrestling has never seen before. Yeah.. you guessed it.. John Cena. In this column, I'll be taking a look at the Top 10 moments of John Cena's career up to this point. Moments that made his fans mark out. Matches that got them standing and cheering. In 4-5 days time, my (un)worthy opponent, SkittleZ, will deliver his anti-Cena Top 10, with the 10 moments that Cena haters have enjoyed the most. Fuck his list, though. This is where it's at. Hell, I'm even going to throw a bit of a curveball at SkittleZ right off Jump Street.. allow me to present to each and every one of you.. the John Cena Top 11! Take THAT, Skitz! Probably wouldn't be the first time you've heard that, I'm sure. Onward! This is where the push to the top really began for John. For those who don't remember, or who weren't watching at the time, he was a solid midcard face whose popularity was growing at a rapid rate. At the time, Big Show was the United States Champion, and he was in the middle of a nice dominant reign (not that there are many other types of reigns for someone of his size). It was only a matter of time before the "Doctor Of Thuganomics" held championship gold, but people had to wonder if he'd be able to do so by beating someone standing about a full foot taller than him, and weighing nearly twice as much as he did. The match itself wasn't anything special.. it was the opening match of the show, and it clocked in at barely over 9 minutes long, but the ending of the match was a memorable visual. To see Show lifted up onto John's shoulders for an FU was jaw-dropping, to say the least. The fans at Madison Square Garden that night didn't quite know how to react upon seeing it, but when Show came crashing down to the mat and was pinned for the loss, the fans knew that the Era Of Cena was just beginning. They may not have been able to predict the heights that the Era would reach, but they still knew it was coming nonetheless. Check the match out here. For various reasons, this match gets overlooked a lot. I guess I can't really blame people for having this match, and this entire storyline, slip their minds, but they're missing out here. Let me paint the picture for you folks.. Jesus (as in Hey-Soos, you bastards) was the bodyguard for Carlito, back when Carlito's full wrestling name was Carlito Caribbean Cool. Carlito was feuding with John Cena at the time, and the company had a storyline made where Cena got stabbed at a nightclub, and the person who did it was Jesus. In actuality, John was taking time off to film "The Marine", but the storyline further helped both Carlito and Jesus get over as heels. When this match was booked, I didn't quite know what to expect. Obviously, I was a fan of John Cena, but I didn't know a lot about his opponent's work at the time. I just hoped the match wouldn't completely suck. What I got was an awesome street fight. What I got was a stiff ass-kicking of a Street Fight. What I got is what you'd expect from a match between a guy who was (kayfabe) stabbed by another guy, one that happened to be his opponent in that match. It was brutal. I give Aaron Aguilera (aka Jesus) a lot of credit for that match and getting massacred the way he did. There was more action between Cena and Carlito (the main players in the feud), but this match was easily the highlight of that entire storyline. Check out Part 1 of the match here. Check out Part 2 of the match here. I'll be honest with you folks here.. the inclusion of this match has nothing to do with the match itself, although it was a fun little match (one that I did think ended too quickly, however). No, this match makes the cut because I was in attendance at WrestleMania this year, and it was the very first time that I got to see my favorite wrestler live and in person. Words simply cannot express to you folks how awesome of an experience that is. If you haven't checked out a WWE show in person, I suggest you do so, even if it isn't WrestleMania. It doesn't even have to be a televised event.. go have fun at a house show if you need to. Perhaps you could even join me and other LoP members at the 2nd Annual LoPForums.com WrestleMania Weekend Wrestling (W)Extravaganza, live from Houston during the week of WrestleMania 25. Hit me up for the details if you don't already know the scoop. Check out a music video highlight package of the match here. Some people may think this is a strange choice for me to add, what with Cena losing the match and all, but it's what he DIDN'T do during this match that made me include it on the list. Wrestling hadn't seen such a hostile crowd response towards one wrestler in years, and it could be argued that it had never seen such a response. It was almost as one-sided as this Hustle VS SkittleZ battle is, as that fruity bastard doesn't stand a chance against me in this argument. In the face of such hostility, though, Cena kept his composure, and at times actually seemed to be feeding off of the hatred and the venom being tossed in his direction. Not bad for a guy who wrestles as a face, I'd say. Check out a music video highlight package of the match here. The proverbial deck was stacked against John here. Edge was the WWE Champion. The event was being held in Edge's hometown of Toronto. The match was Edge's speciality, and a match he had never lost before.. a Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match. As a bit of a related-yet-unrelated news, I absolutely love the emotion that Edge showed during the pre-match introductions. He has stated in numerous interviews that his boyhood dream was to be home in Toronto as the World Champion, and when he was announced as the WWE Champion FROM Toronto, and the crowd went crazy for their home product, the tears welled up in his eyes. It was a nice reminder that, although these guys are larger-than-life on TV, the bottom line is that they're still human beings with real emotions. Anyway, back to the match.. these guys were in the middle of a great feud that some have called the best rivalry that pro wrestling had seen in years. It would be difficult to argue with that, really, as it was the best rivalry I'd seen since the days of Rock/Austin. To be honest, I don't think we've seen the end of these two feuding with each other, but we'll have to wait and see on that. While this match itself may not have had the total amount of high spots that the previous TLC matches had, it was still exciting and had plenty of action to go around, including a spot where Cena legitimately choked Edge out with the STFU as Edge was sandwiched between a ladder. Edge passed out, and it would be a few minutes before he completely regained consciousness and knew where he was. At the end, once he had grabbed the WWE Title and won the match, Cena looked relieved to have gotten to the end and made it out alive. Check out a music video highlight package of the match here. At the time, John Cena was, arguably, the biggest face in the entire company, and he was tearing things up on Smackdown. With Raw being looked at as WWE's "A" show, it was only natural for the guy to eventually get a shot in front of the live cameras. With this event, he got that chance, and he hasn't looked back since. I remember watching this episode, and even though I knew the guy deserved a shot on Raw, I had zero expectations of the WWE Champion switching brands like that. As soon as his music hit, my friend and I just looked at each other in shock. "OH SHIT" was the only thing that we could say as John walked down to join Chris Jericho on "The Highlight Reel". Speaking of that, the look on Jericho's face when Cena's music hit is priceless (no, not Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes). Don't mind the stuff with Christian & Tyson Tomko at the end of the clip. Sure, it was nice to see Christian get a push to hang with the "big dogs", but in the end, the feud went absolutely nowhere. Christian probably went on to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door or something like that, because he hasn't been with the company for a couple of years now. Check out "The Highlight Reel" here. This match is the reason that the 07 Rumble DVD is still a part of my regular viewing rotation. The previously undefeated "Samoan Bulldozer" went into this feud on a huge roll. Being undefeated will do that for you, I guess. At the pay-per-view event before the Rumble, New Year's Revolution, the undefeated streak ended on a quick roll-up, but it was only to set up this match. Umaga's manager, Armando Alejandro Estrada, somehow was able to choose the stipulation for the Cena/Umaga rematch. Choosing a Last Man Standing Match looked like a wise move, as a "lucky" roll-up wouldn't be able to finish the match off. The match was physical, as would be expected from a match where you're supposed to beat your opponent so badly that they're unable to answer a 10-count. There were a bunch of innovative spots in this match, which is something I wasn't really expecting, even as a fan of Cena's. From the spot with Umaga trying to run across all of the announce tables to splash Cena, to the STFU chokeout using the top rope and turnbuckle that Estrada had pulled loose, there were things that I hadn't seen in a wrestling match before, which is always fun. Check out a music video highlight package of the match here. As mentioned by the announcers during any time these men faced each other, they're almost like polar opposites, which makes for an intriguing storyline. JBL, on one hand, is the filthy-rich cocky "old-school" guy that feels everything should be given to him on a platter, while Cena is the "blue-collar" guy that works hard for every single thing he gets. Like the Cena/Show match I already mentioned, this match is more here for what it meant for Cena's career, rather than how great of a match it was. Don't get me wrong, though, as it was a nice brawl, but it wasn't the best match on the card, that's for sure, and it wasn't even the best match they would have against each other. It was Cena's very first WWE Title victory, after a couple years of trying and falling ever-so-close. I've always enjoyed Cena's initial reaction when he's handed the title belt after the match.. biting it, as if to check if it was real. Damn right it's real, John. Damn right. Check out a music video highlight package of the match here. One of the more interesting crowd participations of all-time took place in this match. It was Rock/Hogan-esque in that Cena, technically the face in the matchup, was getting huge heel heat, while Triple H was playing the heel and getting loud face pops. When the crowd is as into a match as the Chicago crowd was for this match on that particular night, it gets the viewers at home just that much more amped up. It was almost like a party atmosphere in the arena that night, as the fans rarely sat in their seats for the entire thing, it seemed. People love to hate on Cena, and that's fine. I understand liking certain wrestlers and not liking others. That's cool and all, but the people that don't understand why Cena is in the position he's in are out of their fucking minds. He's able to get an entire arena going crazy, whether it's to root him on or to boo him out of the building. It's all about reaction in wrestling. It's about these wrestlers going out there and trying to make us, the fans, care enough to "participate" in the match. John Cena does that each and every time he wrestles. The list of people currently on the WWE roster that can also claim that is VERY small. Check out a music video highlight package of the match here. When you're a fan of a wrestler, you just enjoy seeing them on your TV screen. It doesn't matter if they're actually wrestling in a match, cutting a promo somewhere, or making an appearance to interrupt someone else's match/promo. As long as you see them, you're happy. This moment took that to an entirely new level for me. For me, this was THE definition of a "mark out moment". People say that they sometimes get into wrestling when they watch it on TV from the comfort of their own homes. They'll yell at the TV when a heel does something dastardly, or they'll cheer when one of their favorites is on. When John Cena's music hit, signaling him as the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble this year, I went absolutely crazy. I forgot about smarkdom.. I forgot about rumors, spoilers, and "breaking news".. I transformed into something that a lot of us forgot how to be a long time ago, and that is simply.. a fan. Cena's return was kept under wraps so well, and therefore was so shocking, that even the amazingly smarky New York crowd lost themselves in the moment for a while. When his music hit, the roof nearly blew off of MSG. After a while of marking out, though, a lot of the fans remembered that they don't like Cena, and that's when they began booing him and acting "normally". When you can make New Yorkers forget about smarkiness for a few moments, you're connecting with fans on a whole new level. Damnit, watching the return still gives me chills to this day. Check out the return here. Thank you to the following for helping me create ideas for this column: - SkittleZ - Fandom - "Hi Hater (Remix)" by Maino, T.I., Swizz Beatz, Jadakiss, & Fabolous Thank you to the following for helping me get through this column: - Asher Roth's "The Greenhouse Effect Volume 1" mixtape - Royce Da 5'9's "The Bar Exam 2" mixtape - Murs' "Murs For President" album Writer's Note: As usual in columns like this, I need to take the time to let everyone know that this is my own personal favorite 10 moments, and the list isn't based off of any sort of complex criteria. Some of you out there will have different choices, I'm sure, and that's fine. In fact, feel free to share them with me, if you wish. Just save the anti-Cena ones for SkittleZ, as he'll actually give a rat's ass about them. He may even try to hit on you and ask you for naked pictures of yourself, so be prepared for it, guys. Writer's Note Part Deux: To my fellow main page writer and one of my best friends, Pnk.. keep your head up, alright? I'm there for you anytime. You know that already, but it doesn't hurt to hear it again. I know that, personally. Don't forget.. the money hammock is on its way, so you'd best be prepared for it. Get at me. And there you have it, world. Yet another HIPRN banger is in the books. As with anytime I even MENTION John Cena, I'm sure the real interesting feedback will roll out for this column. I'm ready for it, though, so bring it on. We're fast approaching the 25th edition of Hustle Is Posting Right Now, which amazes me. I never thought I'd make it this far, but hot diggity, here I am. Before #25 can drop, though, #24 needs to smack that ass, so be here next week.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. for that one. Until then, holla at me, nah'mean? Be easy, folks. From WAY out West, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa. "Life can change ya directions, even when you ain't planned it.. all you can do is handle it.. worst thing you can do is panic.. use it to your advantage.. avoid insanity.. manage to conquer every obstacle.. make impossible possible.. even when winning's illogical, losing's still far from optional.." Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com 
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