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Submitted by XanMan on Friday, September 26, 2008 at 6:37 AM EST
 With XanMan and aisce Hello boys and girls, and welcome to ETA. Today, The Brian Kendrick, Hulk Hogan to TNA?, and Shane O' Mac, but... We start with Shawn Michaels. The Heartbreak Kid is taking on Chris Jericho at No Mercy in a ladder match for the World Heavyweight Championship; is this wise considering the triceps injury he is reportedly suffering? Assuming that the injury is genuine, this is a terrible idea. I suppose they have boxed themselves into a corner with the 'no holds barred' match that proceeded it: anything other that a risky gimmick encounter would seem like a watering-down of the feud. Either this will exacerbate Michaels' injury horribly, or the match itself will suffer from his obvious inability to use the ladder effectively. Of course, they could always pretend HBK has developed a sudden case of vertigo (as they did with Regal and Taylor, I think), but that would be rubbish. As things stand, I expect this match to be a major disappointment. Wait . . . can something still be a disappointment if you are expecting it? Clearly not, but it would still be a disappointment to the millions expecting a classic confrontation, of which, I admit I am one. Taking the injury as a given, I think it's a terrible idea for Michaels to be participating in this match. I'm sure they'll do everything they can to make it safe for him, but there are no guarantees in any match; much less one that involves the types of high spots normally associated with matches in which ladders are involved. As Davey stated in his latest, Michaels can still have many more years left, but this would seem to put that in doubt. On the other hand, Shawn Michaels: World Champ would not suck. Shawn Michaels:healthy World Champ would not suck. Shawn Michaels: lame duck champ who needs to be protected in every match certainly would. It's not as if he is the type of wrestler who can go on a run of easy squashes anyway: everything has to be a battle for someone of his size. It's more likely that the ladder match will lead to some time off for HBK and a new feud for the title. As Orton and Punk are busy with each other, that should make Batista very happy. That seems to be the way things are going after Monday's RAW main event, unless they are manoeuvring Lance Cade into the spotlight, of course. After all, it was he who got the pin . . Let's hope that was an aberration, though. Unless he's playing HB Cade, Lance should be on our televisions as little as possible, and certainly not in the main event. He pinning Shawn Michaels is travestageous. Sometimes I make my own words when appropriate. Any neologisms to describe your feelings when Shane McMahon returns to our TV screens? I must admit, I am rather fond of the guy myself. He's very entertaining on the mic, and is a far better wrestler than he ever has to be. Enjoyerrific? Giddynormous? Stupendiferous? I will never forget the Smackdown when Shane peformed a corkscrew 450 on one of the Mean Street Posse, when he had that great promo regarding his turn against The Big Show, his feud against Kane, or being live in the crowd at SummerSlam during that diving elbow from the top turnbuckle to the table. Bottom line is that the guy is a first class performer for short bursts of time, and any time he gets on my screen is welcome in my book. In fact, he can have Cade's time. You really don't like young Lancelot, do you? Personally, I think that he has everything it takes to be the next JBL, as far as the wrestling side of things is concerned anyway. Take that as you wish. Meanwhile, the incipient Orton-Punk feud is set to revolve around one of these 'you can't touch me, and I can't touch you' stipulations, of which the WWE is so fond. Are two of the company's rising young stars going to be hidebound by this oft-told and predictable storyline, or will we be rewarded with a slow-burning, intense confrontation of epic proportions? As far as Cade goes, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, but I feel sure Trevor Murdoch would have fit that role better, as you know, and at least part of my disdain for Cade is the fact I hate their decision to keep the one over the other. So, unless Cade does something truly spectacular, I'm going to go right on hating him, if it's all the same to you. To answer your second question, it's certainly not the route in which I would have gone, but I do think it can work. After all, young Orton does have sort of a working relationship with Priceless, which means that as he kind of asserts a more active leadership role with them, there will be physicality between Orton's agents and Punk. Kind of like when Michaels feuded with the other members of Evolution before he got to Triple H, except on a smaller scale. BTW, they really don't do this that often, do they? Perhaps my memory for awkward storylines is too keen for my own good. If they never used this particular device again, it would be too soon. I know Punk is revered by RoH fans for his heel mic work, but he has shown little sign of such ability in the WWE (and, no, that is not a reason to turn him, you can't have the whole roster appearing in cocky heel mode); whilst Orton is only average in that department. It's possible that they could make something of it, but on the whole I'd rather see them in the ring rather than just needling each other for the next few weeks. I'd love to seethat also, but Orton still isn't cleared to wrestle, right? And given his fragile nature--I think this is the 4th time he's been on the disabled list--it's probably warranted to find some storyline reason to keep him from getting physically involved while he's not able to get physically involved. What is your take on The Brian Kendrick? I have to say that I find the gimmick rather tiresome. I know that many can't contain their shrill delight at the appealing underdog being infused with cocky bad-ass-ness (the number one choice of gimmick for the bad-ass [I]manqué[/I] teenage male), but I find it a rather lame and obvious instance of casting against type for the sake of it. It's about as amusing as giving Big Show a gimmick where everyone referred to him as 'Tiny', or portraying Snitsky as irresistible to women. Remember how great Kane was as a dentist with bad teeth? Yep, it's a joke of that quality all over again. I don't think it's meant to be funny. I see it more as the way Shawn Michaels was in his early days as a heel, with Ezekiel being the new Big Daddy Cool. Casting against type for the sake of it, I agree, can be annoying, but no more so than "random lightweight face jobber." Given the lack of a cruiserweight title, the balance on Smackdown, and that Spanky is finally getting some single's attention from the WWF, I'm all for it. And, I think I would be even if he wasn't so damn entertaining. The last time I can remember them doing anything similar was 3 or 4 years ago when Spike was CW Champ and bossing his brothers around, and that seemed to work quite well until they pulled the plug. I could see this gimmick getting TBK into the upper midcard(hell, he's already "The Longest Reigning champion in Championship Scramble history) and I don't think that would have happened to "just any old" Brian Kendrick, even with the shift that we spoke about last episode. The whole Spike Dudley gimmick was an extended joke too wasn't it? Kendrick does seem popular, but I'm afraid his appeal has yet to impress itself upon me. I could have seen Paul London in that role, Spanky though? I'll pass. 5 Good . . . Wrestlers that should lead TNA's "New Blood" 1. Samoa Joe--Obvious, of course, but as the champ and the best overall wrestler in the promotion(as well as already feuding with Sting) he's a solid choice. The obvious choice is sometimes the correct one. Joe has the stature (in every sense) to be leading this faction. 'Solid choice' . . . nice. 2. AJ Styles--Capable of being the best wrestler in the promotion, and he already has history with Cage, Sting, and Angle. Styles is a terrific wrestler, but very weak on the mic. For that reason, I don't think I'd buy him as leader. Joe is no great talker either, but he does have the sheer physical presence at least (am I guilty of using a euphemism this time?). 3. and 4. The Murder City Machine Guns--Whatever doghouse they've put themselves in needs to be chopped down. These guys are the future of tag team wrestling, and deserve to be part of this major storyline. You can't have a tag team as co-leaders. Not unless you wanted it to lead to an eventual break-up. And that is not what we want in this case, not at all. I think that they would need to be let out of the doghouse before it is chopped down, or the results could be unfortunate. 5. Kaz--Or whatever his new name is going to be. He's a phenomenal talent, and they keep pushing him up to a certain point, only to have him crash back down. They should use this angle to have him finally break through. Kaz pretty much exemplifies the central issue with this storyline. The New Blood will have all the best wrestling talent, but their rivals will have all the charisma and promo skills. Poor Kaz is a little too anonymous to be the leader of anything much, in my opinion. It's too big a stretch to make him the key figure in such an important angle. Take That Action In a bit of a *SPOILER*, The Messiah of the Backbreaker was unable to wrest--a word that is used far too often in sports that have nothing to do with wrestling--the ROH World Title from your boy, Nigel McGuiness and Bryan Danielson became the #1 contender by winning a 3-Way Dance. So, I'm going to set the odds at 7-2 against Dragon becoming the *first ever* multi-time ROH Champ by defeating McGuinness. It's an unoriginal observation that, in some ways, McGuinness is the John Cena of RoH: a wrestler whose long run with the title has led to his character becoming stale, which has caused him to lose the support of those fans who once cheered for him. I think that's claptrap, personally, and found Morishima's run with the belt to be much less palatable. Nevertheless, he will have to relinquish the title sometime, and the rabid fanbase while need to be placated. Danielson is a huge crowd favourite, and the spectacle of him dethroning an arrogant and domineering champion may be too hard to resist. At odds of 7-2, I would shake your hand off. Apparently, TNA are to unveil a 'big surprise' at Bound For Glory. Odds on this being Hulk Hogan, looking to fund his impending divorce settlement: 33-1. There's no way in fucking blue hell that it's going to be Hogan. That said, 33 to 1 makes anything pretty damned tempting. Still, I think the chances that it'll either be a new match or a new championship are fairly high, so I'm going to pass. Speaking of championships, I'll set the chances that Matt Hardy holds the ECW one through the Royal Rumble at 8 to 1. I think I'll have to give that one a miss too. There is a fair bit of congestion at the top of the ECW card, and I just can't imagine that translating into a lengthy title reign for Hardy. If anything, I can see that title changing hands on every PPV between now and the Rumble. Chances that someone will pay over $20,000 on eBay for a date with wrestler/fetish porn star Shelly Martinez: 2-1 Hmm, does Dream have that kind of money lying around? If so, that's probably where the bidding would start. I think there's a decent chance it'll get that high, but at 2-1 the value just isn't there, so I'm going to pass and hold my head high if I turn out to be wrong. Big Finish Recently the WWF came out with the "Life and Times of Mr. Perfect" dvd. I don't recall ever being part of the organization, so how is that possible? If there is video footage of your life in existence, then McMahon probably owns the rights to it. The latest version of Internet Explorer will have a 'private' mode which hides your browsing history. How will they be able to advertise this feature without referencing pornography? Internet Explorer Version 1.8: With the ability to hide history of web sites that have been visited, our brand new privacy mode is just the thing for the superspy on your list! You know how you guys call soccer football? What do you call football? Your sport is not something which we like to refer to in polite company. The subject seldom arises, except in meetings amongst a few heretics who probably call it 'NFL', or something. One thing I have always wanted to ask a fan of US sports: what do you do if your local sporting franchise moves to another city? Do you continue to follow them, or do they become the focus of your resentment? Well, growing up I moved all the time, so I have never become attached enough to a place even now to care all that much, but generally speaking they tend to be hated by the city they have left; and the opposite tends to be true of players who leave for another team. Clay Aiken has come out and announced that he is, indeed, gay. First of all, duh. Secondly, how does this qualify as 'news'? I had to use Wiki to find out who he is. The line between 'news' and 'publicity stunt' is so blurred these days that it probably does qualify. I always assumed that you had to be gay to make it past the audition. I'm sure it doesn't hurt. If you'd like to send feedback to XanMan Click Here If you'd like to send feedback to aisce Click Here To email feedback to both of us or to send topics you'd like us to cover next time Click Here That's all we've got. We'll try to do better next time.
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