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Submitted by Pnk on Thursday, September 25, 2008 at 4:37 AM EST
 Thank You, Noc. Pnk's Thnks 8: The Pnk Is Thnkng Right Now Edition Guess what time it is! No, not Tool Time. That's whenever Edge or Kennedy get on air. Nah, its time for the girl who runs the gauntlet with whoever that wants this. Damn skippy, it's me, Pnk. How's everyone been? That bad? Well here I am friends, to make you forget your worries. I've had a busy week myself. I began courses to get Teaching Certification on top of my usual course load. Last week was also my sorority's rush week. I tend to take on more than I can handle sometimes and I apologize for my lateness. I know, I'm a slacker. I did however manage to catch some wrestling. So before we begin, let's ramble. Seriously, Santino and Beth are on fire. Their segments on air and Santino's Casa online are the best things WWE have comedy wise (unless you count R-Truth's entrance). Apparently the WWE loves free press because they are using Perez Hilton to get into mainstream news. For you non-girls out there, he's a celebrity blogger. You know, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I take all responsibility for starting this Santino/Perez deal. Perez has an email where you can submit news and I sent him the link of the first Santino's Casa I saw that mentions him. Next morning, there it was online. So on and so forth. You are welcome, WWE. If you'd like to compensate me, send John Cena to my address. Email me to get it. The whole Undertake/Big Show has been a yawner for me. I saw it coming since Show returned and I thought I'd enjoy it, but I haven't yet and I don't think I will any time soon. Does Vicky really have to be a part of it? I think that's the part that bugs me the most. Guess it's one of those you just gatta see where it goes. Just me, or the airbrushing of CM Punk's Pepsi tat gets annoying? I mean, we all know it's there. If Jay Briscoe were in WWE, would they have to airbrush out his Budweiser tattoo? That one manages to be slightly more annoying than CM Punk's and I accidently told him once. How was I to know he could hear me talking when he was waiting to tag in? Shouldn't he be paying attention to his match? Okay then, down to business. This week, we're gonna try a style I NEVER tackle. With a very special guest. Yall are smart, I think yall know who I'm working with. Enjoy. I knew I wanted you the second I lay eyes on you. The moment has been branded in the area of my mind that holds my most cherished memories. It's what has kept me going for so long. It's the reason I have waited and waited for you to finally be mine. All mine. I remember when I first started toying with the idea of you. I'd go to bed and think about how serious I possibly was about you, I would doodle notes about you when I was supposed to be writing about something else. Pictures of us etching themselves in my mind like an etch-a-sketch. I would go to bed with you on my mind, wake up with you on my mind. Anytime you called for me, I came to your side. If you were going to be in town, I was there. Seeing you.... That only made the feelings stronger. Any time I could see you, be near you, even smell you made me smile. I started working so hard to attain you. Sounds silly, I know, but being with you is my number one priority. I started taking classes, started working so hard to get to you. It was so hard. I would spend long days working towards my goal. It'd get so hard. You have no idea. I would wake up tired, go to bed even more exhausted. It sucked. The worst part was not even being sure you'd be there at the end of the road. I couldn't think that way though. Had to fight through it. And I did. There was the times I could barely drag myself out of bed. Partially because I was just so tired. Partially because mentally I was depressed. I felt like I was working for nothing at all at times. Then you showed me a sign. It was small. A handshake. An invitation to join you. In a small capacity, no promises. Just join you. Try my best to win your heart. That was even harder then when I was trying to get your attention. It felt like I was spending all my time proving myself to you. I hated it. I would show you how dedicated I was to you. To us. You'd smile, nod your head, then knock me down. Like when you forgot about me for months at a time, like when you embarrassed me in public, like when you shit talked me for all to hear. I'd get so upset. Not only because it was just embarrassing but I was working myself to the bone for you. It's not like I had much to show for all the hard work I was doing for you. So much work and you STILL acted like I meant nothing to you. Thing is I can't even hate you so much. You gave me so many good memories. There were moments when you cheered me on, pushed me, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I smiled during those times. I felt love I'd never felt before. I thought I'd finally stay in your good graces. You'd pat me on the back and tell me how great I was. If I kept it up, we were going to make it together. Then you'd shoot my back down. See, the thing is that you knew what you were getting into when you met me. You knew what I was about, and I've never been afraid to share my past track records with you. You've seen the hearts that I've broken, and even after all that... even after you sat down and talked for hours, crying and scared about what "we" were in for... you STILL gave your heart to me. You even had your friends and family telling you that I wasn't good for you, but you brushed them off like their opinions meant nothing to you. It's not that you mean nothing to me. That's actually far from the truth. You mean more to me than you'll ever understand. More than I'll ever be able to express. Without you, there is no me. Without you, I wouldn't stand a chance. I don't get vulnerable very often, so you should cherish moments like this. I just... I just have a hard time settling down. Like I said, you know about my past, and you know about the way I've treated people. Am I proud of some of those things that I've done? No. I know that I've hurt people. I know that I've used and abused people for my own personal gain, only to toss them aside like garbage when I've gotten all I needed out of them. Fuck it, I'm not perfect. Nobody is perfect… by themselves. You and I, together, though, is a different story. I dare you to tell me that we don't bring the best out of each other. Go ahead. Tell me. People say I have a psychological hold on you or something. That's bullshit. Those people don't understand me, they don't understand you, and they don't understand us. I don't have a "hold" on you like that. I haven't cast a spell on you. I don't have incriminating photographs of you. If you're unhappy with me, for whatever reason, you know damn well that you're free to leave. Honest to God, though, I don't see why you would. You say that you did a lot of work for me, and that is true, but what about the work I did for you? What about all of those nights we spent together? You know exactly what I'm referring to. Those nights were long, but I made it worth your while. I don't mean to be cocky, but I know that there isn't anybody out there that can make you feel like I can make you feel. I always make you crave more. You want it. You need it. Maybe you need to alter your expectations a bit. It's not my fault when you enter this relationship with expectations that are unfair to me. I don't know where you got those expectations from, but you were led astray somewhere along the line. You don't see me having unattainable expectations for you. It just isn't fair to be handing out blame to me like that, without sitting back, taking a look at the situation, and accepting some of the blame for yourself. Like any real relationship, we need a balanced "give and take," or else we'll end up like a lot of other relationships, and we'll just spend all of our time bickering and fighting until we don't want anything to do with each other. I don't want that to happen, and I know that you don't want that, either. Let's break that down though. You say that I don't understand that you need me to survive. Yeah, sure, how about the others? What? Think I don't know about them? And how you treat them? You tell me you need me then turn around and repeat yourself. Who are you telling the truth to? Hell, who are you LYING to? You make me feel like I'm disposable. Replaceable may be the better word. You know you use people but you keep doing it. Over and over again. Its like a cycle that you can't... won't break. I don't expect you to be perfect. I know no is. Hell, sometimes I screw up. Say things I don't mean when you anger me. Act out when I'm not getting my way. But I long for you in a way you will NEVER long for me. You DO have a hold on me. Nah, forget it, you pretty much own me. I try so hard to tell myself to leave you. I know the door is always open for me to go. But I put up with it all for you. God, you are SO cocky sometimes I want to hit you. There is no need to rub in that we have good times together. I know we do. But sometimes, it isn't enough. I am the flavor of the week sometimes and it hurts. Hurts. You never experience what that is like but I do. Constantly. I used to think it was something I could get over but I can't. I hate that I care for you so much. I'm half embarrassed and half upset. Because I do crave you. More than anything. You have expectations of me too though. Expectations I sometimes can't meet. What do you say about that? There are times you have asked me to do things I can't, I won't, do. You get mad about it too. I'll give and take if you do. But you don't. It's always your way or the highway. I don't want this to end. I can't. All my training. All my hard work. I don't want it to be for nothing. The times I didn't eat something because I was working on my body. The times I drove miles to be at a show for you. I need to know in the end, it'll be worth it. I want you to tell me you'll try to at least appreciate it. I just need you to tell me I'm not wasting my time on you. Alright, what do you want me to say? Yes, there are others. I'm sorry that I have needs. I'm sorry that there are things I desire out of life. I'm not lying to you, though, and you damn well know that. It doesn't matter what you "discover" or what you might think… I DO need you. What the fuck am I without you?! Huh?! Care to explain that?! You think you're replaceable? That's not even close to how it is. It's just like you to come to an assumption and run with it like it's the truth. No, you're not replaceable, but if you leave me, am I supposed to just stop going on with what I do? Of course not. Eventually, I'll find someone else to take your place, but you can't sit there and bullshit me. I know, for a fact, that you'd do the same. It may take you a while, but there would come a time that you'd find someone… something… to replace me. You really don't think I understand what its like to be the "flavor of the week"? Here I thought you understood my history better than that. There have been times when I was on top of the world, and then, almost without warning, people turned their backs on me. They wanted nothing to do with me, even after everything I've done for them in the past. I did them so many favors, and because of one incident, they treated me like a stepchild? One word… Benoit. You know exactly what I'm talking about. That's some "flavor of the week" bullshit right there. I don't want this to end, either. No way, no how. You've grown as a person since we've met. Even with the shit I know I put you through, you continue to show me how much "we" mean to you. There are things I can improve on, sure, and there are things you can improve on. Maybe I do have high expectations for you, but whatever expectations I have are there for a reason. I know what you're capable of, even though you may not see it yet. The training… the hard work… the long hours of driving… I see all of that. I don't care what you might think, but I DO appreciate that. Are you wasting your time? Hell no, you're not wasting your time. You're so close to achieving your dreams. I swear, just as sure as my name is Pro Wrestling, that all of your hard work will pay off in the end. Just have faith in me, like I have faith in you. *sigh* Look. I'm not going to sit here and bullshit that I'm not concerned. I am scared shitless this won't work out. That in the end, I'll be the one with egg on my face. But I'm a wrestler. I wrestle. It's been my dream my whole entire life. I worked so hard to get here, I can't turn back now. I guess I'll just have to take that leap of faith that eventually you'll give me what I need. Deserve, really. I have faith. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was Masterpiece Theater with yours truly and.... Hustle, where the hell you get at? I'm over here, getting roses from my adoring fans. Oh sweet baby Jesus, are you going to do one of those "For Your Consideration...." advertisements? I don't know if I appreciate your tone. Have you ever though? You're just mad I get to watch the new Backyardigan DVD before it comes out and you can't. Watch it? You're in the damn thing, Uniqua. You know… this is starting to look like an AIM conversation, isn't it? Who said this isn't an AIM conversation, hmm? Damn, can you imagine if we had to do this over the phone? Would have taken like... *thinks* at least 2 more months. How long have we been planning out this column any how? I believe I requested this from you sometime before the calendar hit 2008, so it's been a pretty long time, Ms. Busybody. *sigh* Seriously, I wonder why I work with other people sometimes. So, any last words before we wrap this bad boy up in a bow and send it on it's merry way? Well, first and foremost… you're welcome. Second of all, now that I've worked with my favorite writer, I don't know what else is left for me to do in my time as a columnist. Third of all.... Fourth of all, you know you had fun. Admit it. Yeah... it was a little fun. If you mean the longest planned column EVER! Not as long as R-Truth's entrance though. Man I hate that thing... and him. Real talk, though… it was an honor to be a part of this with you, and I appreciate you letting me be a part of Pnk's Thnks. If you need anything else, you know the number. Holla at me. Eh, I know, I'm amazing and it's an honor to work with a writer as ballin' as I am. You ain't so bad. Just next time let's try and not take.... 9+ months to write something we plan. Deal? Amazing isn't the word... oh, sorry... umm… what were you saying? Oh, yeah... definitely a deal. Jerk. Okay then, until next time ladies and gentlemen. Say goodbye, Hustle. Damn, I give you a compliment, and you call me a jerk. That sounds oddly familiar. Goodbye, Hustle, nah'mean? Ug, I have a headache. Well friends, gimmie two weeks and I'll be back with another priceless gem from the Thnks of Pnk. You know where to get a hold of me (Especially you, WWE. I want Cena here, ASAP.), PnksThnksFeedback@gmail.com.. You can also go here, LoP Forums. Feedback Thread over in the feedback area. If you ain't a member already, you may wanna stop being a slacker. Want more columns to read? LoP Columns Forum. Enjoy. Thank me later. This has been the one and only, With much love, Pnk <3 PnksThnksFeedback@gmail.com
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