DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu #280 – Gail Kim, Football + Unforgiven Predictions Submitted by DaveyBoy on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 12:12 AM EST
THE WRESTLING MENU #280
Welcome one and all to the 280th edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.
I almost wrote on what I initially thought was a rather humorous topic today, but the subject fizzled out unfortunately. A loyal reader of mine, Ed ‘The K’ Motley’, brought to my attention that WWE had some strange rules regarding some of their sweepstakes prizes on their website. Apparently, Canadian winners would have to answer a math question before being able to be declared a winner of the contest. We both initially felt this could be WWE simply not wanting to pay for shipping and handling to Canada. They probably thought that 75% of wrestling fans wouldn’t know what 11 x 12 was or some equation like that! That wasn’t a Canadian joke folks… Although, they do often boo the faces & cheer the heels!
Anyway, I had a quick chat to LOP Forums’ resident Canadian and Super Moderator Terry, who pointed out that it was actually some kind of Canadian law that required any company such as WWE to do this. It sounds strange to me, but I am certain there is some kind of reason for it. Maybe the Canadian Government wants the people of their nation to be clever. I dunno. But I’d love to know what kind of math question is involved, so if you are Canadian and have been a lucky winner of any competition, please let me know if you had to answer a math question and what was it like.
Maybe it was 500 – 220. The answer to that is 280 and that is exactly what edition of ‘The Wrestling Menu’ we are up to. So without doing your head in with more maths, let’s get on with the show…..
APPETIZERS – Gail Kim
Most of you will know that I am not a huge fan of jumping the gun and writing on topics concerning happenings which have yet to be confirmed. There are a lot of rumors floating around the internet on everything professional wrestling and I have seen many columnists get caught out on writing about subjects which have never happened. Even worse, professional wrestling promotions don’t mind swerving the internet wrestling community nowadays and it occasionally leaves us columnists with just a little egg on our face.
However, the recent talk surrounding ex-TNA Knockouts champion Gail Kim leaving Orlando and returning to WWE is not only strong, but seems to be logical and make sense for the most part. For this reason, I think it is almost a certainty that Gail will indeed be a WWE roster member before 2008 is out and I think it is fairly safe for me to proceed and comment on the switch here.
When Gail Kim initially started wrestling for WWE, she was pushed to a title win practically on debut. It was a strange creative decision in all honesty as while she is arguably very attractive, she seemed to be a little on the shy side and not a diva that would create a storm right from the outset. Kim slowly worked into her role without setting the world on fire, but looked to be steadily improving and fitting in well. Youth was also on her side, as was her want for learning. It was this latter characteristic which saw her add many submission holds to her offensive repertoire later on in her WWE tenure. More importantly though, these submissions were actually rather original and impressive.
Considering all of the above factors, it then came as a huge surprise when Gail Kim was suddenly released by WWE. I actually remember commenting on this in my column not long after it occurred. Basically, it just didn’t make much sense at all and the only thing I could put it down to was WWE thinking that her average microphone skills were never going to allow her to be the #1 female in the company.
So off Gail went to TNA and that is practically what she became; The company’s #1 female. And she did a pretty darn good job in what was a difficult role too. It cannot be forgotten that the Knockouts Division had only just been created at the time and those early months were going to be all-important in the success or failure of the division. Television ratings now prove that the Knockouts Division has indeed been a success for TNA and Gail Kim is responsible for that to a significant extent.
WWE occasionally do release wrestlers whom they want to see improve elsewhere, knowing that they have the financial clout in the future to outbid opposition promotions for their services in the future. I wouldn’t doubt that this is what occurred with Gail Kim. Not only did she prove in TNA that she could spearhead a division, but she also added character and improved microphone work to her impressive resume. For these reasons, she will undoubtedly be a huge loss for TNA and a significant gain for WWE. As fans, we can now only cross our fingers and hope that WWE use her properly and allow her to use the talent that she possesses.
MAIN
3 Part Football’ing Wrestlers Series
In last week’s column, I named what I felt was the best possible soccer team out of all current WWE wrestlers. In this weeks 2nd part of this 3-part series, I direct my attention down under to the wonderful game that is Australian Rules Football. I know that many of my readers will have little idea as to the game, but if I could sum up the kind of person that could play the sport, I’d almost consider summing it up in one word; Anyone. Seriously, the sport has near 7 footers and also players under 5 foot 6 inches tall. It has the skilful and quick, and also the solid and rugged. There is a position for everyone in this game… Although the ability to run does possibly exclude those over 350 pounds in weight.
Ok, I hope that helped a little for those not up with the sport of Aussie Rules. If not, give the sport a watch if it crosses your path in the future. If I can follow and watch NFL and the English Premier league regularly, then I don’t see why anyone can’t look overseas for some sporting entertainment. I personally do not think you will be sorry.
WWE’s Aussie Rules Team
Backs: Chavo Guerrero – Randy Orton – Shad Gaspard
Half-Backs: Chris Jericho – Kane – Shelton Benjamin
Centres: Jeff Hardy – Shawn Michaels – Paul London
Half-Forwards: Matt Hardy – Edge – MVP
Forwards: Batista – Triple H – The Brian Kendrick
Rucks: The Undertaker – John Cena – Rey Mysterio
Interchange: The Boogeyman – Mr.Kennedy – Cody Rhodes - JTG
EXPLANATIONS
CHAVO GUERRERO (Back Pocket): Chavo predominantly annoys me as a wrestler and I think he could do the same thing annoying the hell out of an opposition’s small forward. He wouldn’t have the talent, pace or skill of his opponent, but he would somehow get by holding and scragging his way to mentally get on top and play his role for the team.
RANDY ORTON (Full Back): Orton is the best option for this position in my opinion as he has the necessary height and (probably) strength to combat the opposition’s goal-kicker. Just as importantly, I think he would have sufficient pace to be able to stick with full-forwards on the lead, while his excellent reach would allow him to spoil from behind well.
SHAD GASPARD (Back Pocket): Possibly a weakness for the team, I have chosen Gaspard to play the role of taking the oppositions 3rd tall forward. While he may have to play a little taller than he is and stamina may be a problem, he has decent agility and strength for a fairly big man to allow him to get by.
CHRIS JERICHO (Half Back Flank): Being the do-it-all man that he is, I think Jericho could ably fill the role of the half-back who could both play on the talls and smalls. He would also be able to recognize when he is required to play defensively and when he could counter-attack and begin offensive moves from his position on the ground.
KANE (Centre Half Back): This would be a risky move as Kane would struggle stamina-wise if the oppositions centre half forward could run all day. Otherwise, I think he could fulfill this role well enough as he could successfully match it strength-wise with the bigger fellas, while also being sufficiently agile to move around. Obviously, he and Orton could be required to swap roles depending on their opponents.
SHELTON BENJAMIN (Half Back Flank): All good Aussie Rules teams have at least one attacking defender who could run with the ball and then penetrate forward with long kicking. Benjamin’s athleticism and pace would rank him right up there in being the best WWE man to successfully play this position with effectiveness. His in-between height would also help in being able to compete defensively against all opponents when that was required.
JEFF HARDY (Wing): Jeff would be the prototypical outside wingman. He would run up and down one side of the ground like the daredevil he is, capable of being the team’s hero on some occasions, while completely going missing and being the villain on others.
SHAWN MICHAELS (Centre): One of the 4 important players in the centre square, HBK would be the perfect role-model for this position. His veteran experience would allow him to know when exactly to take the game by the scruff of the neck with flashy offensive play and when to knuckle down and get down & dirty.
PAUL LONDON (Wing): Pretty much see the comments for Jeff Hardy, except for the fact that London is younger and less proven.
MATT HARDY (Half Forward Flank): All good Aussie Rules teams also have a mid-sized forward flanker that can play both a tall and small role in one, while also working hard in attempting to keep the ball in the forward line. Matt is the definition of WWE’s hard-worker and his in-between size fits the bill perfectly here.
EDGE (Centre Half Forward): I was tempted to use Edge in one of the key defensive positions, but just get the feeling that he would benefit the team more as the lead-up Centre Half Forward who would run his guts out in continuing to provide an option for the midfielders. Placing him next to Matt Hardy may be questionable though!
MVP (Half Forward Flank): The prototypical forward flanker who flashes in and out of a game, sometimes being the team’s hero and sometimes being the villain who goes completely missing. His decent size and agility should have him competing sufficiently whether the ball is in the air or on the ground.
BATISTA (Forward Pocket): Batista would be the perfect option to play deep in attack as the team’s 3rd tall forward. He would probably have trouble stopping his opponent from running off of him, but if he can isolate them in the goal-square, then he would out-strength 99% of his opponents and become very dangerous as a potential match-winner.
TRIPLE H (Full Forward): If he could remain fit, I think H would make a great full-forward. He is the perfect height for the position and this spot on the field should give him more than enough occasions where he can use his strength to out-muscle his opposing full-back. While H isn’t exactly grease lightning pace-wise, he does give the impression that he could be quick off the mark in short bursts, allowing him to be effective on the lead up to the 50 metre mark.
THE BRIAN KENDRICK (Forward Pocket): The prototypical confident goal-sneak who opposition supporters love to hate, Kendrick is perfect for the role of the pacy small-forward who could turn a game around in the space of 10 minutes. He wouldn’t need many kicks to do this playing this close to goal.
THE UNDERTAKER (Ruck): I don’t think there is a standout ruckman on the WWE roster at present, so decided to choose the man with the experience and knack for being in the right place at the right time, as well as lifting for all the important games. ‘Taker obviously has the height to play the role and while his pace would obviously be a weakness, the aforementioned veteran knowledge would hopefully compensate for this.
JOHN CENA (Ruck-Rover): Cena could play a similar role to Michaels in the centre square, but add just that little bit more height & strength that is required in this day and age. His above-average athleticism, pace and stamina would also suit him well here, while he could easily play a more team-oriented defensive role if the coach required him to do so.
REY MYSTERIO (Rover): Who else would be chosen to fill this position for the team that is usually designated to the smallest and fastest player. He may get knocked around a little, but that would be only if an opposition player was to catch him!
THE BOOGEYMAN (Interchange - Ruck): Yeah, I was tempted to place The Great Khali in this role, but it is a prerequisite that you are able to run to be able to play this sport. I think Old Man Boogey can indeed do that, while being very intimidating in centre square contests in back-up to The Undertaker. Mouth-guards clearly would not be necessary for him!
MR. KENNEDY (Interchange – Forward): Kennedy would be a handy player to have coming off the bench as his in-between height would allow the team’s coach to plug him in a variety of forward roles depending on the match-ups against the opposition’s defense. He could probably play any forward position and be a potential match-winner on occasions.
CODY RHODES (Interchange – Back): The young defensive back-up if some extra height is required down back or one of Gaspard, Orton or Kane is struggling with their opponents. Having good height, agility and reach helps, although he could get out-positioned by stronger opponents in 1 on 1 contests.
JTG (Interchange – Midfield): Seemed like the best younger small man still available that would be able slot into a number of positions, whether it be a midfield role, or as a back or forward-flanker.
DESSERT
’Unforgiven’ Predictions
CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE vs CRYME TYME for the World Tag-Team Titles: Is this the first time that Cryme Tyme have received a pay-per-view 2 on 2 tag title shot? It seems like their push has been coming forever and it may finally be here. There is a decent little feud developing between these 2 teams, but it isn’t anything spectacular. Nor will this match be anything special. It would not at all surprise me to see the faces score a title reign here just for something different, but I am more inclined to feel that WWE are building up Rhodes & Dibiase as long-term champs. Winners: Rhodes & Dibiase
MARK HENRY vs MATT HARDY vs CHAVO GUERRERO vs FINLAY vs THE MIZ in an ECW Title Scramble: Oh, there is an ECW Scramble as well, is there? I hadn’t realized, which probably says something about my viewing habits of late. Hey, The Miz made it in! John Morrison must have had a prior engagement for the night or something. (Davey refreshes himself on the rules of these darn scramble matches). This could get real messy and I can see Matt, Chavo & Finlay doing most of the work to keep it from getting too bad. Henry & Hardy should hopefully be the only men who get pinfalls, although anything can happen since WWE explicitly stated that wrestlers who gain a pinfall during the bout will not be recognized as having a title reign. Personally, I’d have Matt pin Henry, then Henry pin Matt back and then… Winner: Matt Hardy
MICHELLE McCOOL vs MARYSE for the Divas Championship: Is it an understatement to say that Maryse has the look that WWE like…??? Actually, to give her some credit, she has improved in the ring and she definitely has a character that does create an audience reaction on most occasions, so I am certain that has worked in her favor as well. Of course, she has nearly no chance of emerging with a title around her slender waist here though. Winner: Michelle McCool
TRIPLE H vs SHELTON BENJAMIN vs JEFF HARDY vs MVP vs THE BRIAN KENDRICK in a WWE Championship Scramble: As soon as I heard of the 4 challengers for Triple H’s WWE Championship, I was a little surprised and possibly smelled a rat. Rumors have suggested that the winner could face The Undertaker later in the night, filling the role of the card’s main-event (as there does not appear to be an obvious one). I’m unsure that will occur as giving away an impromptu and premature Triple H vs Undertaker title bout would be a little disappointing in my opinion. Oh and you better believe that H will indeed be emerging from this bout as champion. It’s just a matter of whether anyone else is able to get a pinfall or submission during the match, as I would not at all be surprised to see no decisions at all here. If anything, Jeff Hardy may sneak in a pinfall for crowd reaction purposes. Winner: Triple H
SHAWN MICHAELS vs CHRIS JERICHO: With HBK’s recent arm injury, this match-up looks in severe jeopardy, which is a real shame as these 2 don’t steal the show when they are in the ring against each other, they own the show! Even if the bout does go ahead, the booking and ultimate result of it could very well have to change as reports suggest that Michaels will miss months of action. That could obviously come from some kind of post-match beat-down after a HBK win (a’la SummerSlam 2002), but I guess that the safe money is now on a Y2J victory. Winner: Chris Jericho
CM PUNK vs REY MYSTERIO vs BATISTA vs KANE vs JBL in a World HeavyWeight Title Scramble: Presuming there isn’t any kind of impromptu match-up, I think this may be the bout that best resembles a main-event, while also being the most unpredictable of the scramble matches to predict what is going to occur. Even as I am typing this, I have no idea how this match will play or who will be the ultimate victor. It wouldn’t actually surprise me to see all 5 men be in pole position some time during the 20 minute duration here. JBL & Batista should definitely get that chance at the very least. Oh boy, I am really undecided as to who will emerge with the title, although I would suggest Punk & Batista are the front-runners. I flipped an Aussie $1 coin and it happened to come up tails which shows a group of kangaroos. Kangaroos are animals, so that is enough of an omen for me. Winner: Batista
Ok, so there is the 2008 version of ‘Unforgiven’ as it currently stands. To say it is relying on the gimmick value of its 3 scramble matches for potential buys is an understatement, as HBK vs Y2J is the only other match that appeals and there is a question mark hanging over that bout occurring. That question mark could also determine whether any other match is added to the card as I think the above 6 bouts could possibly fill in the time due to 3 of them being guaranteed at least half an hour each (including entrance themes and aftermath). Either way, The Undertaker is sure to play a role somehow, whether it be in a segment or match. Ultimately, I cannot say that I am really looking forward to ‘Unforgiven’ and I just hope that the scramble matches come off successfully.
Ok, that was all longer than I expected it to be, but anyway. You know the drill. If you wanna, then email me. Please be warned that I am still catching up on replying to emails from when I was ill, so please be patient for a reply. My e-mail address is DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com, but if you are an LOP Forums member, it would be much appreciated if you could leave feedback on my thread at http://www.lopforums.com/showthread.php?t=159
Next Wednesday in ‘The Wrestling Menu’, I will include my review of the ‘Unforgiven’ pay-per-view, as well as finishing off my 3 part series on WWE’s football teams. I think that there would be rioting in the streets of New York & LA if I said the conclusion would concern rugby league, so you can indeed expect my NFL team of WWE wrestlers in a week’s time. My column will be posted at the same Wednesday time on the same LOP channel next week. Until then, this is DaveyBoy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.
