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Submitted by Pnk on Tuesday, September 2, 2008 at 4:31 PM EST
 Thank You, Noc. Pnk's Thnks 7: Bah Bah Bah!!! HI! Wow, I feel like I JUST posted Pnk's Thnks 6 and yet here I am again, two weeks later, posting yet another amazing edition of Pnk's Thnks. I am your hostess with the mostest. I stomp shit with or without an accomplice. Everyone good? I had a very... interesting past couple weeks. Let's just say that sometimes you can't please everyone and usually, it isn't your job to do so. But you gotta dust that dirt off your shoulder, folks. I'm the same me no matter what. Gatta say, I got a lot of emails about the last column, most to tell me I left someone out. Sorry about that pals, I really could have gone on and on, I was given a hell of a lot of options. Someone I know kept trying to sneak Norman Smiley into conversations, like subliminal messages. It was cute, but alas, he didn't make the cut. Sorry, Sir. I'll pay more attention next time. [Editor's Note: Big Wiggle FTW, motherfucker!] Apparently, I also mention Cena too much. I promise to tone that down a tad. Just hard not to mention the superhero, ya dig? So let's talk some randomness, shall we? Starting off with... get this... *looks side to side*... Cena! (I break the rules, pals.) Batista over Cena.... Well, we now know who won the "Kiss Triple H's Ass" contest. I'm joking... ish. But really? Now mind you, I'm a Batista fan. I kinda dig the old man. But let's all be honest about one thing; Batista looks like an overgrown ape and sounds like one on the mic. A handsome, overgrown ape, but ape nonetheless. Would you rather listen to Cena, who can actually form complete sentences, or Batista, who can only grumble really loudly and threaten pain? Exactly. WTF, WWE. WTF. Of course, though, Cena is now injured so maybe it was meant to be. BTDub, I'm on a hunger strike until Cena returns.... well, it was a hunger strike until Orton AND Cena come back but I guess the work I've done so far paid off as the dick with ears is back to make me laugh at his evilness. Orton coming back FTW. In other news, Mysterio lent Kane one of his 10,000,004 masks in an attempt to give the dude something to do. Yeah, I said it. Kane needs SOMETHING to do. Kane is so underutilized. SO underutilized. The Big Red Machine just doesn't seem to live up to his name anymore. He's still big. He's only half red. (Let's all come to terms with it, the top half of the outfit is never coming back, my friends. Never. Burnt in the fire with his mask, his hair, and his credibility.) And he is no longer the machine that tears down all in his path. He's just a man. A big man. Intimidating in demeanor, but no longer the force he once was. So they gave him Mysterio. I'm not saying Mysterio is the best thing ever created on Mexican soil. (That would be Lucha Libre, mi amigos. And horchata.) I actually prefer Kane to Mysterio. Hell, I love Kane, but facts are facts, and WWE has run him down to the ground. As was mentioned in a conversation I had about the subject a friend, Kane is most likely not going to benefit from this feud. I'm rooting for the guy, but I just worry this isn't going to go in his favor. I'll try and keep the faith though. Just for Kane. Someone has to. Okay then, kiddies, enough of the blabber. Seriously, if someone asked me if I prefer TNA or RoH and you didn't know which one I was going to choose, I'd be a tad worried you've been reading a different pink fonted wrestling column this whole time. Worried and disappointed. RoH has brought me everything I need from wrestling. I get Steeny (Kevin Steen for those not familiar with my love affair with the man.), Lacey (So NOT a crack whore. That's Tammy's job.), Larry Sweeny, and Age of the Fall. And BxB Hulk. They brought me one more thing....  You don't know who he is? Dang, well you've been missing out my kiddies. Now he doesn't only work for RoH. Delirious also works for CHIKARA. For today's purposes, we're going to focus on the Ring of Honor Delirious, the one I love. He is currently the Campeonatos de Parejas with Hallowicked in CHIKARA. You may have caught him in a couple appearances on TNA between 2003 and 2005, last seen wrestling Samoa Joe (another RoH alumni). While still not as big a name as he should be, he's one of my favorite wrestlers. There are a hella bunch of reasons why too. This is pretty much the best breakdown of why I love the Delirious persona. I didn't write all that, it was borrowed from Delirious' own website. I think it does a great job at really analyzing the reason for any wrestler to wear a mask. In my book, before my Delirious loving, I had three guys I looked at as great wrestlers. Rey Mysterio was always okay to me, though I thought the mask was unnecessary. It maybe just me, but the mask doesn't do anything for him. No big cover up there. Just a small high flyer in a snazzy mask (gatta love the Louis Vuitton version). Kane, ironically, pulled it off best after Rey, but the purpose of his mask served more to scare us into thinking that underneath it there was a scary, scarred freak. What a let down that one was. Finally, Mankind used to top my masked wrestlers list. Guy didn't let the mask wear him, he wore the mask. Fit the character, fit the man. Delirious on the other hand.... In poker (Hey Jetset!) one very important element is the bluff. If you can throw your opponent off by wearing a mask, a mask to hide the thoughts you are thinking and how you are feeling, you are taking away an advantage your opponent may have had on you. Now in poker, it's almost never (unless it's a costume party game of poker) a physical mask, but the fact remains the same. Some people wear shades (guilty) during poker games, others pretend to be drunk, others just joke the whole game through. Delirious' mask is a transformation into someone else. It is a symbol for who he becomes. Mysterious and dangerous, a force to be reckoned with. That's not to say he's not a little wacky, but that just goes with the territory. Speaking of transformations.... You will take note that Delirious is similar to another wrestler we all know.  We've all seen Festus go from a catatonic blob to a beast as soon as tiny hammer strikes bell. Great gimmick huh? Well, he wasn't the first to work it, Delirious has used a very similar gimmick, long before our biscuits and gravy eating pal ever did. WWE sure know a good idea when they see it. Unfortunately for them, however, Delirious does it a whole lot better. He comes to us from the "Edge of Sanity," entering the arena past the curtains on his knees, circling the ring yelling "Bah" every now and then (I'll take about the rambling later on pals) along with other random gibberish. For the most part though he is calm, collected, and focused. But little by little, you can begin to see that the moment is approaching. The moment where he is capable of taking anyone down.  All he needs is the sign. He waits in the corner of the ring for it, couched like a Jack in his box. As soon as the bell rings, Delirious is a new man. A crazy force to be reckoned with. The mask takes over. I love seeing the mask be a symbol for what Delirious is to become. Wild, crazy, a little kooky. Come on now, look at it.  Look at it! You know you couldn't resist. It's simple, yet makes a statement. I remember thinking how stupid the long parts that hang off were at first. But they grew on me. A whole lot more than the weird little tips that stick off Rey's, I must say. I like the green version a million times better than the red version from when he went all evil. Though, now that he's heel again, aligning himself with Age of the Fall, I'm sure the red will be back in fashion soon enough. So, we've been over the mask and the gimmick. Now....  Watching Delirious in the ring is awesome. He has agility and strength and comes off as a genuine threat when between the ropes. Kane can only do power, Rey can do high flying, Mankind takes pain. Delirious does all three. Well. No half assed attempts here, sirs, the man can flat out wrestle. So well, in fact, that he is currently the head trainer for Ring of Honor's wrestling school, passing along the training he himself gained via Gateway Championship Wrestling. He's also trained, most notably, Daizee Haze. Funny, too, as they have recently been involved in a love triangle storyline which ended badly for Delirious ("The flame of love is now just a cold loneliness." -Uniek Swain), resulting in his recent heel turn. Of course when he wrestles as a heel, the technique undergoes a couple changes, as he adds the spitting of red mist, (No Hornswoggle green. Jeez, WWE, stop being copy cats.), and more of a brawling style. In the green, as a face, you can expect more things to be done to garner a reaction from the crowd, such as clothesline after clothesline, shitloads of reversals. He does, however, have a couple ace cards hidden up his sleeve. Allow me a closer look at his repertoire, if I may, specifically two of his moves. Chemical Imbalance II is a pumphandle into with a facebuster. I'm a huge fan of all kind of 'busters, especially the ever so amazing "Brain Bustaaahhh!" (Especially when said in such a manner.) It really does show off Delirious' strength and power. Yet nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to Shadows Over Hell. Need a couple reasons why? Don't mind if I do. A) It's a fucking awesome name for a move. Awesome. Fucking sick. Some may not agree, but it's far superior to the Mic Check (Anything is, really, and I will state this for the rest of my life). B) It's a splash off the top rope. Oh me and my high flying fetish. Simply put, he's a great wrestler. Period. If you get a chance, you need to see this guy at work. Alright, let's see what we've got so far. Mask? Check. Gimmick? Check. Wrestling? Check. Ah, but there remains one more thing. As I mentioned earlier, Delirious is a best known for rambling incoherently (word of the day), and I dig it muchly. We've already mentioned his tendency towards screaming "Bah" before, during, and after matches. When I saw him live, 4 rows away from the ring, it was hilarious just to listen to him taunt his opponent (singing the Mickey Mouse song in his normal gibberish, to my delight). Needless to say, that's something a character like Festus lacks. Then we have the ones nobody understands, much like the indecipherable "words" that one would hear from a Khali or Umaga. Khali has to rely on a his manager to speak. If not, well, he just looks ridiculous. Okay, so he always looks ridiculous, but would even moreso were it not for his very welcome, and much needed, translator . Khali on his own has no legs to stand on (and if rumors are true, he soon won't) when it comes to the mic. Umaga faces a similar issue. Without Estrada (and those who "know Samoan"), no one would ever know what the Samoan Bulldozer is saying. He'd go on and on and we'd just keep on assuming he was talking about how pretty the birdie outside the window this morning was. Delirious doesn't face this issue. While he is in fact speaking gibberish, he manages to get the point across in his actions and with the occastional mumble of a real word. They won't sound normal but the words themselves are there. I really can't help but love the man's promos and he has two really great ones. Delirious' Promo For CHIKARA Again, I'm not completely familiar with CHIKARA but this promo rocks. He's rapping and mumbling and it's just all there. Oh? Yeah, I said rapping. I wasn't expecting it either but there is is. I think this one best shows how he can use something rather silly and off beat to make a statment. There isn't just a guy blabbering to get a laugh or attempt to intimidate. There is a focus and a message. And then there are promos like this one.... Delirious and a VERY special guest. Click it. Now. Because you won't believe who's with him. Yep, my Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, Chris Jericho. Great thing about this is that Jericho doesn't over shadow him, explain what Delirious is saying, he plays along with it. In this Q&A session with Jericho, he himself explains Delirious and talks about how the whole thing came about. I really do. He's one of those guys you really have to see in action to really have an appriciation for probably. He's a change of pace, he's unique, and he's fun to watch. I do really think that there are issues that could arise form the gimmick, the ones Festus, Khali, Rey, etc. all suffer from. But I think the fact that he has pure wrestling ability, not to mention the fact that he has adopted the best parts of all those kinds of gimmicks gives him an advantage. It's the one issue I will always take with WWE. Guys like Delirious, who are the best of many different styles, would never get a real shot because he's different. Too different. He'd get a push but it'd never go anywhere. WWE can feel free to prove me wrong though, hell I'm welcoming it. RoH rocks for this reason though. They have all the different things I love not to mention seem to embrace those things a little out of the ordinary. And they have him. My Delirious. I leave this sections with two gifts for you. Delirious' website for one and this: Delirious Tribute Enjoy. I finish this as I sit in 18th Century Studies learning about Gothic Literature. I really am not one for graveyard poets and stuff but it was interesting to listen to my professor talk about the mind being an empty, darkened room and watching Jericho and Delirious talk in the corner of my screen. I really hope you all didn't mind learning about a wrestler not on TV (he so should be though). If I had to rank my 10 favorite wrestlers he'd be right there between Randy Orton and Jimmy Jacobs. Here: 1. Chris Jericho 2. Stone Cold 3. Undertaker 4. John Cena 5. Owen Hart 6. Randy Orton 7. Delirious 8. Jimmy Jacobs 9. BxB Hulk 10. Triple H Told you. Well that's all my friends. Until next week. Do expect a collaboration for my next edition, if not the one after. Those things take ages to finish. Especially with my sorority's rush week just around the corner. You just can't knock down a Gamma Sig though, I'll make it happen. You know where to find me, PnksThnksFeedback@gmail.com. There is also my feedback thread in the LoP Forums. You can also get more fun stuff to read at the LoP Columns Forum. I never leave that place. You won't want to either. Okay then, ladies and gentlemen. I going to bounce on outta this joint and onto the next. I'll be seeing you really soon. This has been the one and only, with much love, Pnk <3 PnksThnksFeedback@gmail.com
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