Take up thy wrestling boots and walk #165 - Farewell
Submitted by Pt2 on Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 12:30 PM EST



Welcome to the one hundred and sixty fifth, and last, edition of the column that kicks out at two and five eighths, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man who smells worse than the Nasty Boys in a Sauna, Pt2, back once again to discuss the treasure of delights that is professional wrestling.

It has been a while since I last posted a column, and in that time Triple H has regained the WWE championship at the expense of Randy Orton, who surprised almost everyone by coming out of Wrestlemania with the belt intact. It was confirmed on RAW that HHH will face Orton for the title in a last man standing match shortly. I can’t help but get the feeling this is just going to be Hunter beating Orton back for the last man standing match from October – some kind of ‘levelling of the score’ before going onto a big decider. Doesn’t exactly thrill me, to be honest.

Maybe I should run down some of the other changes since I last wrote a column?

Ric Flair retired. That’s the end of an era as far as I’m concerned. I first saw Flair at Wrestlemania VIII in 1992, if I recall correctly, and thus I missed him in what most people would call his prime, but through the wonders of video technology I have managed to catch up with several of his finest moments, of which most wrestling fans agree there are many. I became a fan again, after he’d left the WWE, when I started to have greater access to WCW in the mid to late nineties, when he was running with an updated version of the horsemen gimmick – his charisma, going hand in hand with the talent of Benoit and Malenko, made for must see TV a lot of the time and was one of the crucial factors in a decision making process of Raw vs. Nitro.

In hindsight, most people say I kind of got that decision wrong, all the time. I went with RAW until the Montreal Screwjob, and Nitro after it, until 1999 when it became unwatchable. I’m pretty happy with the decision though. WWF programming in 1997 was incredible, better than anything that would follow it in the next two years in terms of consistent ring work and angles – it merely lacked the gimmicky nature that the attitude era would develop to make it work. As for Nitro in 1998? Well, it was three hours long, and I still used to tape RAW, so it’s not like I really missed anything. Yes, I did used to watch at least a minimum of five hours wrestling a week, every week. To some people reading this that won’t seem like very much, I’m sure, but I’m also just as sure that a lot of people reading have lost a lot of respect for me right now!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I was running down all the things that have happened since my last column.

Apparently Dwayne Johnson is not the most popular man in the wrestling world at the moment. Saying that ‘The Rock is dead’ certainly won’t help matters in that regard, but I imagine since he hasn’t wrestled in what, four years now, and people still keep asking him about it, he needed to find a way to make the point more clearly. I’m as disappointed about it as anyone (well, perhaps not anyone as I am sure there are plenty of guys out there clinging on to hundreds of dollars worth of Rock merchandise while I own exactly $0 worth, but you get the idea), but the truth of the matter is he doesn’t need wrestling, and why would he put his body through the physical toll of wrestling if he doesn’t need to financially when he has a six year old daughter? I’m pretty sure the man has no regrets about wrestling, when he left he put over a couple of guys before heading out the exit door, and generally did pretty much everything right. The fact that he is not coming back should not detract from what was a memorable and enjoyable career.

By the way, did you know that Ric Flair apparently turned down the chance for his match to be the main event of Wrestlemania? He may not have always been the most classy guy outside the ring, but when it has come to the wrestling business, he’s always done the right thing and has undoubtedly been a class act.

Trish Stratus was kinda vocal on an internet radio show about ‘Bunnymania’, and said that she didn’t like the situation; and, perhaps slightly controversially (but not all that surprisingly), said she preferred the state of the women’s division in TNA to that of her former employers.

There was the Obama vs. Clinton debacle. I’m guessing I don’t have to add anymore.

People seem to be losing things. There was a robbery at Wrestlemania, Orton lost his luggage in transit, and Maryse Ouellet lost 15k worth of jewellery.

The King of the Ring is returning... again! You’d think they would actually make their mind up about this. I know I’d bring it back, in a heartbeat. Some of the most memorable things I’ve ever seen have happened in the king of the ring tournament. Bret Hart put on an absolute clinic in the first one, and the 1996 event was simply one of the best PPV’s that any wrestling company has put on, ever. It was a huge part of the WWE calendar, and the WWE was poorer for it’s omission for a couple of years. I know it is harder to work with the three way brand extension, but it is such a good concept that some effort should be made towards getting it back on, and for the love of god, keeping it back on.

Bret Hart went on the record in the Sun newspaper saying that if he could have some fun with it, he’d consider working with the WWE again. His book will be out in the UK in October 2008, so there is probably some hype going on there, get him back into people’s minds, but it wouldn’t be bad to see Bret on TV again, though I doubt he’ll ever do anything more than one off appearances, since obviously the physical element would have to be minimal… and let’s be honest, Hunter isn’t keen.

The Ultimate Warrior is returning to the ring in June. At the risk of tempting fate, I feel a Schiavone moment coming on…. Huh, that’ll put a lot of butts in seats.

Dave Taylor and Torrie Wilson have both been released by the WWE in the aftermath of Wrestlemania. Torrie has been told that if she wants to keep her health, she can never wrestle again. She had a pretty good run though, and was certainly one of the companies more popular diva’s after making the move from WCW in 2001. She would probably be the first to admit that she was never the greatest wrestler on the roster, but she was often the first girl the company turned to when they needed an ‘eye candy’ segment or a soap opera angle. With the diva search contestants coming through and her injury, it is probably the best time for all party’s concerned to call it a day.

All has certainly not been well in the Hogan camp. Following on from the break up of Hogan’s marriage, Nick Hogan has been sentenced to 8 months in jail, and then there is the business of those pictures with Brooke… Jesse Ventura, Hogan’s bestest buddy, couldn’t resist the opportunity to take a shot at him, suggesting that he is ‘pimping’ his daughter…..

You get the idea. There has been a lot of news breaking, and a hell of a lot more than I have mentioned here, since I last wrote a column. That is why this is the last. Yes, you did read correctly way back in that first line.

I’ve loved writing this column, and getting feedback from people. It has been a real source of pleasure to me. Unfortunately, real life eventually gets in the way. My workload has, since February, pretty much doubled. I’ve had to prioritise. Real life gets in the way, and it gets in the way because ultimately it has to come first. I don’t have the time to complete my work, sustain a healthy adult relationship, and dedicate enough time to fulfil my obligations to Lords of Pain.

It’s been five years. You’ll only see four in my archive, but I was writing for eleven months before that begins in the LOP columns forum, which if you have any inclination to write about wrestling, you should check out as it is nothing less than an incredible environment in which you can grow as a writer and share your ideas. Yeah, my first column was in May 2003, way back when. Although that column has long been lost in hard drive crashes and board resets, I can still remember exactly what it was about, and what had motivated me to write. TNA were starting to gather a little momentum, not much, but just enough that if you were craving an antidote to the WWE of 2002/3, which several people were, you were aware that this was definitely the best shot.

This was long before Samoa Joe was their champion. Fuck, he wasn’t even on their radar. The man who piqued my excitement, and really got me interested, was a former ECW vet. The title chase that drew me across to TNA was Raven’s.

It’s all history now, so any fans know how it ended. Raven didn’t win, Jarrett retained, and people threw shit into the ring. I wrote about it, my frustration that this wasn’t the way it was supposed to go, this wasn’t how TNA were going to get closer to the WWE and give us all the ‘competition’ that we’d been missing since the demise of WCW two years earlier.

It was a shit column, in all honesty. But it was a good little community, and I stuck around. Since 2004, I’ve had the chance to reach a much wider audience writing on the main page, and although that’s been a different experience, I’ve enjoyed it in those different ways.

I’d feel remiss if I didn’t thank some of the people who have helped me along the way, I hope you’ll indulge me for a minute.

Davey Boy is the first name that comes to mind. Without his encouragement, I never would have set foot into the columns forum in the first place. You’ve helped me as much as anyone and it has meant a lot coming from such a great writer.

Then I’d have to thank all the guys that have been writing in the forum. There’s so many people that I’ve seen come and go that there isn’t time to list them all, but taking it from the top I’ve got to say thanks to Dubzilla, Double Helix, Tinaali, Random, Winter, BC, Morpheus, Wevv Mang, Boss Foxx, Yourayatollah, Xanman, Sheepster, Zuma, Aisce and a whole host of others who I am sure know who they are. Thanks for the feedback, the constructive criticism, and helping whenever I have asked for it. They have all played a part in my being the writer I am, so at least some of the credit or blame has to be directed towards them!

Then there are the majority of the people who actually read this. My thanks also go out to you. Whether you are regular feedbackers whom I may have gotten to know a bit over the past four years, or whether you’ve just read and silently enjoyed the column, thanks for humouring me for the past four years! We write for ourselves, for our own enjoyment, but we also write for you. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it is undoubtedly true; first and foremost you have to enjoy your own work, have to enjoy the act of production, but there really is a tremendous amount of pleasure generated through sharing that work and finding that other people enjoy it, find some value in it, and simply get enough from it that of all the diversion available to them, they choose to spend the time reading your column. As corny as it sounds, it’s humbling when you actually take the time to think about it in those terms. It’s always felt fantastic, and I thank you for it.

Finally, I have to thank Calvin, and LOP, for giving me this medium with which to express myself. Without his efforts the site wouldn’t exist in the first place, and I wouldn’t have had this outlet to talk about what has been one of the biggest passions in my life. It has definitely been appreciated and I’ve had a lot of fun writing here.

Wow, this is all a bit sentimental, huh? I guess five years is a long time, so it is only natural. I’d rather this wasn’t my last column, I would have loved to have just kept writing, but I guess nothing lasts forever. I’ve not really said very much about wrestling in this column that you couldn’t get from anyone else. It’s all just news, all mere surface, and I’ve not really been able to offer you anything of substance, nothing with any depth, nothing to a standard that I would be happy with. I guess when your mind is on other things and you don’t have anything to say anymore, it’s time to leave.

There’s this odd sense of finality, but I guess it doesn’t have to be the last one. I can always drop into the columns forum if I have the urge and the time to write. That’d be kind of nice, taking it all full circle, back to where I started and all.

Until then though, thank you all again, but it is time for me to Take up my wrestling boots and walk.

Pt2.

takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com








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