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Submitted by Hustle on Sunday, February 10, 2008 at 3:35 PM EST
 Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc Starter Lightning strikes the page.. monitor lights get dim.. supreme column writing is about to begin. Alright, maybe that was juuuuust a bit of overhype on my part. Oops. For those of you who know me, yes, do not adjust your flat-screens.. I am on the main page. For those of you who don't know me, allow me to introduce myself.. my name is Hustle. Well, it isn't my legal name, but you get the point. Coming straight from the hood (aka LoPForums.com's Columns Forum), I'm moving on up like George and Weezy. I'd like to take this time to give a shout out to big homie, Calvin Martin, for giving me this opportunity. Your check is in the mail, although I'd wait until the end of the month to cash it.. my bad.. I had a bit of a setback, you could say. Back to the lecture at hand, 2008 is a brand new year, and a little birdie spread the word that it's going to be the "Year Of HIPRN". Seeing as how I'm the mastermind behind HIPRN, that's good news for me. Goddamnit, before I ramble on too much, let's get right into it, why don't we? Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!! Unpredictable Ladies and gentlemen, let's be honest here.. what words can really be said about the 2008 Royal Rumble? As I type this, we're not too far removed from the event, and my high from watching the show has yet to wear off. For those of you who know me, you already know exactly who my favorite wrestler is. For those not caught up on the 4-1-1, let's just say it like this.. it turns out that you CAN see him, after all. (Credit goes to Mac for that one) Yes, folks.. that is correct.. I just happen to be one of the biggest John Cena fans you'll ever meet in your life. Originally, I was going to do a Royal Rumble Review and have it be part of this particular column, but I figured that people such as DaveyBoy do the "review" thing so much better than I could, so I scrapped that idea. Well, that, and it's a little late for a review of that particular event. I then decided I should go ahead and do a complete Cena column, but then I'd be writing that one forever and it would need to be presented to you fine readers in weekly installments. Finally, I decided to take the angle that a lot of people seemed to have brushed to the side.. how we, as the all-wise and all-knowing IWC, had the wool (Hi, Sheep) pulled over our eyes. As I said, the IWC likes to think that they know everything there is to know about the wrestling business, in the ring and behind the scenes. Because we're given access to things the "normal" fan isn't privy to, we think that we're something special, when in actuality, the large percentage of us have completely forgotten how to have fun watching the sport (hey, kiss my ass) that we grew up watching. We spend far too much time focusing on who happens to be in the "doghouse", who is talking shit on their MySpace page, and other things that really shouldn't be important when you stop and think about it. However, with Cena's return, an event took place that allowed folks to go back to the days when they didn't have every debut and return spoiled weeks before it actually takes place. Think back to the weeks leading up the the Rumble. Cena, being out with his injured pectoral muscle, was able to do different press for WWE, whether it be appearances or interviews of some sort. His interviews were being used to give everyone a status report on how he was doing. Initial reports about his injury had his return to the ring listed as WrestleMania (an early estimate) to sometime in May (a late estimate), and in the interviews he was doing, John stated that those reports were correct. He didn't sound like he was very positive about an in-ring return by March 30th (the date of WrestleMania 24, in case you didn't know), but he knew he'd be able to make an appearance in SOME capacity, maybe as a Guest Referee or something along those lines. People were upset. People were sad. Those who had bought tickets to WM24 so they could see Cena were reaching for the Pepto Bismol and the Pepcid AC. Enter.. January 27th, 2008. The pay-per-view hadn't exactly been what you'd call "spectacular" yet. It wasn't a horrible show, by any means, but nothing was standing out. It was starting to look like one of those shows that you'd forget about within a couple of weeks and when asked about it down the line, you'd have to hit up Wikipedia just to remember what matches happened. Sure, the New York fans booing Rey Mysterio made people talk a bit (I don't know why it was such a shock, but that's a different story for a different time), and Chris Jericho showed, for the first time since his much-heralded return, that he could be something other than a mid-card comedy filler act, but nothing REALLY grabbed people's attention. We should've sensed something was.. different.. once we saw that The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels were the first 2 entrants in the Rumble match itself. We didn't, however. If you asked 100 people who they thought was going to win the Rumble, approximately 85 of them would've given you the answer of "Triple H" or "The Undertaker", without a doubt. Hell, count me in as one of those 85, as I figured Taker was going to leave Madison Square Garden with a guaranteed title shot at Mania. Sure, there was a part of me that second-guessed that decision when I saw Taker's early entrance number, but I stuck with him. When he and Shawn Michaels were eliminated 30-some minutes later, within seconds of each other, I (along with everyone else) figured you could etch in stone that Triple H was going to win the match, especially after he drew the #29 spot to enter from. There was only 1 more spot left in the match, and we knew it was going to be one of the 5 "unannounced" entrants. Some people speculated that it would be a returning Big Show, while some people speculated that it would be another WWE Legend such as Jimmy Snuka and Roddy Piper, who had both been in the Rumble match earlier. The music of entrant #30 hit.. no.. it couldn't be.. not a fucking chance.. right? Right?!? It was John Cena himself. It was the man that had EVERYONE fooled. Across all of wrestling fandom, jaws dropped and eyes bugged out. I needed a change of shorts. Hell, even the MSG crowd.. the notoriously "smarky" New York fanbase that would probably cheer a live murder in mid-ring.. absolutely exploded when Cena came out. As a Cena fan, it was an absolute thing of beauty. Triple H's facial expression of "what the fuck are YOU doing here??" was a nice touch. My computer nearly slowed to a stop as my AIM worked overtime, message after message from people coming through.. asking if I'm watching the Rumble, asking if I see who is on the screen now, asking if I'm still alive, and even congratulating me (strangely enough). To say that I was happy would be the understatement of a lifetime. Before he even hit the ring, I knew that he was going to win the match. It just wouldn't have made any sense whatsoever to use the biggest and best surprise in YEARS, only to have him eliminated minutes later. Fast forward a few minutes, and we were down to 2 men.. Triple H.. and John Cena. Watching on television, you could just feel the electricity in the Garden as those 2 men squared off. The gigantic face pop for Cena had switched back towards his usual loud mixed reaction, with "loud" being the key word. Usually, when people say that they were on the edge of their seats, its just a figure of speech. I really was on the edge of my seat, however. When Cena eliminated Trips, I let out a sound usually reserved for 11-year-old girls at Hannah Montana concerts or LOLCats when they're given Cheezburgers (Hi, aisce). THE MAN was back, and he looked like he hadn't missed a beat. After the show went off the air, I carried on numerous conversations with people in the next several hours. Some on AIM, some on LoPForums.com, and some "in real life". It was during that time period that my mindset went from "Cena iz bacccckkkkkk~!" to "how in the bloody hell did this get kept private?". In an age where people get shocked at just how cynical the IWC is, something happened that the entire group fell for. John had a movie to film. His doctors were telling him not to rush back so soon. He was busy rehabbing. He was.. back. Wow. I would like to take this time to thank WWE, to thank the writers, to thank Vince McMahon, to thank John Cena.. thank you for allowing me to mark out like I haven't done in years. Thank you for having me forget, if even just for a short while, about any backstage bullshit shenanigans, bickering, and who-is-talking-shit-about-who. Above all else, thank you for helping this particular guy REALLY feel like a fan once again. Wolves Yes, we're a little over a month into the new year, but seeing as how this is something I've been thinking about outside of column-writing, I figured I might as well bring it TO my column-writing..these are my Top 10 "wolves" of 2008, as in "the Top 10 guys who could and should be the hungriest for success this year". Seeing as how this is MY column and MY list, it'll be based off of MY criteria.. a nice little hodgepodge of the following: how much I personally like the wrestler, what are the actual odds of it happening, whether the wrestler is ready, etc. This is for the "Big 3" companies (WWE, TNA, RoH), just to make sure I make all sides happy. For those who are fans of Top 10 lists, I offer you this warning.. they won't be very regular parts of my columns in the future. In fact, this is the only time I've ever done one of these. Feel lucky, I guess.  10. Samoa Joe - I'll be the very first to admit this.. I'm not a big fan of TNA. Not at all. Sure, there are things here and there I'll enjoy, but those things are usually few and far between. However, being a fan of Ring Of Honor, I do pay attention to the careers of the TNA talent that has any time with RoH in their pasts, from Samoa Joe to Homicide to "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal, etc. One of the main reasons why I can't bring myself to closely follow TNA as a whole is the way that Joe has been booked in his rise through the company's ranks. There is no doubt that the man has been over since Day 1 in TNA. They had him on a nice little undefeated streak to start things off, and that's all fine and dandy, but since they had Kurt Angle break the streak (don't get me started on that one), he's been bounced around like a basketball at Rucker Park. There was a long stretch of time where he may have set a record for "singles wrestler competing in the most consecutive pay-per-views without being in a singles match". Tag match, Triple Threat, Four Way Dance, 29-Man Reverse Chamber Barbed Wire Maggot French Fry Match, and so on. Even more sickening was the fact that he basically blended into the background with damn near every match.. he wasn't winning them, but he wasn't the one getting pinned or submitting, either. He was just.. there. He needs a strong 2008 to prevent from being "forgotten" by people. He seems to be having less and less "great" matches as time goes by, and even most of his biggest fans will tell you that he doesn't seem to be the same wrestler that he was as recent as 2006. There's always the on-again, off-again drama with his contract status and whether or not he'll return to RoH, head to Japan, jump to WWE, or become some sort of Monk. Those rumors seem to pop up every couple months, so be on the lookout for what wild and wacky stories get cooked up this time.  9. Erick Stevens - He seems to be the latest "it" guy in RoH, recently being booked to beat Austin Aries and Bryan Danielson on consecutive nights, only 2 weeks after beating Roderick Strong for the FIP (Full Impact Pro, RoH's "sister promotion" in Florida) World Heavyweight Title. I'm not the biggest Stevens fan in the world or anything, but he's pretty decent, seeing as how he isn't necessarily your "typical" RoH wrestler. At nearly 240 pounds, he has a big size and power advantage over a lot of the smaller RoH guys, and he does a nice job of using that in his arsenal. He needs to capitalize on his good start to 2008 and continue improving and continue building his momentum, possibly turning himself into a legit contender for the RoH World Heavyweight Title. Right now, I just don't see him being at that level yet, and from talking to several other RoH fans, they don't quite buy it, either. With another couple solid months, that should definitely change.  8. Chris Jericho - As I mentioned earlier, Jericho's match against JBL at the Royal Rumble was the very first time since his overhyped return that he showed he could be anything other than midcard filler. Sorry, Y2J fans, but his return hasn't been anywhere near what you all hoped and prayed for during the "Save_Us" days. He returned smaller than people remembered and had a more bland look to him with the short hair and the Chippendales outfit. He spent his time facing midcard opponents and doing comedic work on the mic, and it started to look like that's all he was going to do in his new run with the company. I was happy to see a "darker", more violent Jericho come out against JBL, getting himself disqualified. I'm not saying that I want him to lead the 2008 Ministry Of Darkness and have him try to embalm people or anything, but adding a little roughness to his character is a nice development. He's a lot easier to take seriously as a contender when he's not so.. so.. "meh". Hopefully, he can move on from his JBL feud sometime after WrestleMania and ascend to bigger things on the Raw roster. Hell, maybe he could even benefit from a move to Smackdown or.. *gasp.. ECW.  7. Umaga - I'm somewhat surprised that he doesn't get the respect he deserves as a capable worker. He isn't a Dynamite Kid-like technical wizard or anything, but he's not the talentless oaf that some people seem to think he is. He's somewhat handicapped by the gimmick he's been given, but he makes it work very well with his, no pun intended, savage style. While not a 7-foot monster like Kane or a 500+ pounder like Big Daddy V, he's a capable "monster" that can hang around the upper-midcard level of any of WWE's brands. I'm sorry, but I'd absolutely LOVE to see a program with Umaga and The Undertaker, and I think it'll happen as Taker seems to feud with every single "monster" that ever steps foot in the company. At the start of 2007, Umaga was feuding with WWE Champion John Cena, culminating in my pick for 2007's Match Of The Year, their Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. He even took part in what was probably the biggest match of the year, press-wise, taking on Bobby Lashley at WrestleMania 23 in the "Battle Of The Billionaires" feud between Vince McMahon and Donald Trump. From there, he seemed to fall of the map a bit. He can work well with bigger guys (Lashley) as well as smaller guys (Jeff Hardy), although I'm not calling for him to have a 7-month reign as champion or anything. I just think he needs to be careful, or else he'll wind up as a mere afterthought and get lost in the shuffle.  6. Tomko - During his time in WWE, the best thing you'd hear about Tomko was that people thought his facial hair was awesome or that his tattoos were cool. Hell, you might've even been lucky enough to hear someone say that his name rocks. That was it, however. People weren't raving about his in-ring prowess or anything remotely close to it. However, since he left WWE in Spring 2006, he's had time to hone his skills in Japan, competing for New Japan Pro Wrestling, and here in America, reuniting with Christian in TNA. His time in Japan, especially, helped him out tremendously. Watching him now compared to 2 years ago, you'd think it was a 10-year difference. He's wrestling with more confidence now, has improved on the mic, and is getting over with the crowd (although the Bird Flu could probably get over with the live TNA audience). His tag team with AJ Styles has been fun to watch since they began teaming up, as the "big man and little man" combination is a tried-and-true pro wrestling story. They've played well off of each other, but more importantly, Tomko has done well on his own, possibly setting himself up for a main event run in TNA. I hope that he can continue working on the vast improvements he's made in the last few months and place himself on the same level as Christian, Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, etc, in TNA.  5. Shelton Benjamin - If there was anybody on the Raw or Smackdown rosters who really needed a move to ECW, it was definitely Shelton. Style-wise, Shelton fit in perfectly with the bigger names on the ECW roster, and it was even a move that could hide his biggest weakness..mic skills.. as guys like John Morrison, Elijah Burke, etc won't exactly be confused with Dusty Rhodes or The Rock as far as being great talkers. There isn't anybody in WWE, period, with the blend of speed and athleticism that Shelton has. As evidenced by his appearances in Money In The Bank matches, he's as close to a "Human Highlight Reel" as there is right now. However, as evidenced by damn near everything else he's done, speed and nice "hops" does not a great wrestler make. Whether its a person to be his "mouthpiece" or some sort of faction to be a part of, Shelton needs something where he can just focus on his in-ring work and not have to fuck it all up by talking like a computer program from 1986. To me, its obvious that someone in the company, whether its Vince McMahon himself or someone on the writing team, wants Shelton to succeed. They keep trying to push him and give him shots at becoming some sort of breakout star. If he can't do it in ECW, he won't be able to do it with WWE, period. That's why 2008 is so important to him. Would it really shock anybody if he wound up in RoH or TNA by this time in 2009? It wouldn't shock me whatsoever. Hmm.. Shelton in RoH? Well, that's also a conversation for a different time and day.  4. MVP - He appears that he's being groomed for future greatness with WWE, and I couldn't argue that even if I wanted to. From the very beginning, he was basically pushed directly into the fire, feuding with big names like Chris Benoit (yeah, I said his name.. big whoop.. wanna fight about it?), The Undertaker, and Kane. His work with Benoit impressed the hell out of me, as well as a lot of other people. He, for the most part, out-wrestled the person who most people saw as the best wrestler on the planet, and his cocky "Terrell Owens of the WWE" character seems to fit him perfectly. He's indirectly suffering from Matt Hardy's recent injury problems, as their program could've been red hot by this point. The "feel-good" part of that storyline will obviously have Matt go over MVP and win the United States Title, but from there, MVP fully deserves a shot at the main event on Smackdown. Even if its a "test-run" and not a full-blown ride at the top, he deserves SOMETHING. He's got everything you look for in a big-time wrestler, and he seems to be on the verge of a Rock-like run, when Rocky Maivia became The Rock and ascended rapidly towards the top and eventually became WWF Champion. Count on it, folks. 3. There never is a three, ladies and gentlemen. For those new to the ooey gooey goodness of HIPRN, you'll realize that to be true. For all my homies and bitches, you recognize THAT phenomenon, as well. Is it a cop-out and a way to only make 9 spots on this list? Maybe so, but.. wait.. what's that over there?!? *runs away*  2. TNA "Knockouts" Division - Yes, the entire division. I don't know if it says more positively about the Knockouts or negatively about the rest of the TNA roster and storylines, but the feud between Gail Kim and Amazing Kong (not featured on the pictured DVD, for multiple reasons) was probably my favorite TNA feud of the entire year. They put on some REALLY entertaining matches, being given more time to work with than your typical WWE women's match. One of the newest internet rumors (so, take it or leave it, I guess) is that TNA is in talks to expand the Knockouts division and even to give them their own spin-off show to work with. It would basically take women's promotion SHIMMER and expand it to a national TV audience every week. I'd be selling the point short if I said they needed something along those lines. Hell, they've done it before, so they could easily dip into SHIMMER's roster for expansion talent, if need be, although I'd like to see SHIMMER be able to shine (pardon the pun) as they work alongside RoH. While she's obviously not a Stacy Keibler or a Mickie James in the looks department, Amazing Kong is absolutely perfect at what she does and with the role she plays. With Gail Kim, they make the ideal "anchors" to the Knockouts division, and here's to hoping they use 2008 as their springboard to continue outshining their male counterparts.  1. Jeff Hardy - Those who know me know that, months ago, I was championing the "Jeff Hardy For Main Event" cause, and there were a lot of people that laughed at the idea. Yes, Jeff was over with fans, but he didn't have great mic skills and there was too much of a concern that he couldn't have good matches that didn't involve any combination of tables, ladders, and/or chairs. Then, something clicked, whether it was with Jeff himself or with whoever was writing the promos.. he seemed to have a focus on the mic that he never had before, and he was working with the biggest names in the company without being outshined, even though it didn't always require a Swanton off of a ladder to get it done. Now, instead of having it be his only attack plan, they've switched the "hardcore" part of Jeff Hardy's wrestling as the "elephant in the room".. something that his opponents can't overlook because its RIGHT THERE, even if he doesn't have to use it 100% of the time now. With MVP, I mentioned how he may require a "try-out" run as a main event player. That happens to be exactly what Jeff just went through. He was given a test by the company to see if he could handle it.. give him a shot at the title, and while he won't win it, see how he steps up and see if the fans believe him in that role. He proved himself against people like Umaga, Triple H, and obviously, against WWE Champion Randy Orton. The fans obviously bought him as a big-time player, as he seemed to get more over as the weeks went on. He past every test with flying colors (perfect choice of words for Jeff Hardy, no?). Now, with John Cena's return to the company, and with the company's (rumored) plans to have some combination of Cena/Orton/Triple H main event WrestleMania, Jeff needs to make sure he doesn't fall back and become lazy and unfocused again. People are crazy if they think Jeff will get pushed back to permanent midcard status now. Crazy, I tell you. A John Cena VS Jeff Hardy program is total and absolute MONEY for WWE, and they're in the perfect position to pull the trigger on that piece of goodness for SummerSlam, or somewhere around that time frame. Jeff will win the WWE Title before your calendars hit 2009, people. You heard it here first. Campfire My loyal readers will laugh now, because I've brought this particular event up twice already in my column-writing career, but I'd like to introduce to my new readers.. The 1st Annual LoPForums.com WrestleMania Weekend Wrestling (W)Extravaganza. Why the "W" in front of the last word? Because alliteration is your friend, that's why. Anyway, this event, as you can probably figure out, is taking place during the week(end) of WrestleMania 24. For those of you living in the Orlando area, or for those of you heading to Orlando for WrestleMania, feel free to join up with a large group of us from LoPForums that will be taking over the city that week. We've got tickets to WrestleMania itself, some of us have tickets to the Ring Of Honor double-shot the Friday and Saturday night before WrestleMania, some of us will be looking to score tickets to the WWE Hall Of Fame ceremony, and some of us will probably wind up spending time in jail for assorted douchebaggery on multiple levels. Tickets are still available for Mania and for both RoH shows, and tickets will soon be on sale for the HoF ceremony. Hell, for those not wanting to go to any of those shows, its Florida.. smack motherfucking dab in the middle of Spring Break, so you KNOW there will be plenty to do, whether its people watching, going to the beach, shopping, club hopping, or whatever the hell it is you crazy kids are into these days. Male, female, American, non-American, tall, short, fat, skinny, drug-free, drug-lover.. our group is already about as diverse as it gets, so there's something for everyone. If anyone wants more information, either e-mail me at the address I'll post at the end of this column, or check the Forum thread at the following link: http://lopforums.com/showthread.php?t=66 You better act quickly, though, as flights and hotel accomodations are already being made from those in this group, as well as folks from all over creation. Not that you have to shack up in the same hotel as everyone else, but just a warning to let you know not to sit back and wait until the last minute. I speak on behalf of the rest of "the crew" when I say that we look forward to seeing you out there. Unless, of course, you're one of those icky Cena Haters, in which case I may have to chop you in your throat. We'll see how it goes, I guess. Life Changes Damn, that was a lot longer than I was expecting it to be (that's what sheeeee said). I've made it to the end of my very first "big-time" column, though, and for those of you still riding with me..its much appreciated. Now that I'm on the main page, I need to keep better track of the feedback that I receive. For this reason, I have created a new email account, solely for this column and its feedback. Got something to say? Ladies, wanna send me your phone number? To all my homies in Bruges (and everywhere else, for that matter).. you can reach me at: HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com Just to make things easier on everyone involved, if you're going to email me, have the subject line include something about the column, whether it be "HIPRN", the topic you're feedbacking me about, or whatever. Just something to catch my attention so that I don't mark you down as a dirty spammer. Eww. You don't want that. Trust me. For "insta-feedback", you can also hit me up on AIM at: KangstaKasoo Be warned, however, that I'm switched to mobile on AIM semi-frequently, so I may not always be immediately available, just so you don't get mad if I haven't responded within minutes. Hell, if you're a member of LoPForums, you can even send me a PM there, if it so tickles your pickle. No matter what way you decide to get a hold of me, I'll respond every time, so don't be scurred, as the kids used to say. The next edition of Hustle Is Posting Right Now will be out in about 2 weeks time, so let the countdown begin. Until we meet again, please check out the other main page writers here, as they're out to entertain you in their own way. If you're feeling adventerous, wander over to the Forums and check out the columnists there, as there's several very talented writers churning things out all the time. Super Bowl time? Who the fuck cares, really? This is Super Hustle time, as far as I'm concerned. I'm a Giant like Plaxico Burress. The "New Era" has begun. Alright.. I'm out like an Eagle Scout, nah'mean? Be easy, folks. From Paradise, I bid you farewell.. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa. Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com  ***DIRECT LINK*** Over 14 Total HIGH QUALITY Maria 2008 PB Photos! MUST SEE!
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