Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - A forced hand
Submitted by Pt2 on Thursday, October 4, 2007 at 7:09 PM EST





Welcome once again to the column that steals Christian’s jar of ass cream, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man who asks “who the hell calls their product Ass cream?” on a nightly basis, Pt2, back once again from the tepid plausibility of the week to talk about all things concerning the majestic delights of professional wrestling.

Many thanks to everyone who contacted me following my 150th column last time out. It did seem to get people thinking I was quitting, but hopefully the presence of this column should quell some of those rumours!

For some time now, probably since… oh, I don’t know…. around November, 2006, we’ve been speculating when, and to whom, John Cena would lose the WWE Championship. For some people, it must have seemed like he was never going to lose it, as the months racked up and he eventually passed the year mark.

But the WWE’s hand has been forced. John Cena has lost the WWE title. Not to a fellow wrestler, but to injury. And he’ll be on the shelf until next summer.

This creates something of a dilemma for the WWE. I don’t think anyone would disagree that Cena is their number one guy at the moment, in their eyes if not in the eyes of the majority of the fanbase. I also think everyone would concur with me that Cena was never going to be too far from the title scene between now and Wrestlemania, and probably beyond that, as far as the summer of 2008 – now believed to be his return date.

So a certain amount of re-arranging will have to be done concerning the WWE’s plans for their RAW main event scene. I wrote in my last column that the odds of seeing HHH spending a great deal of time on the WWE Championship were slim; I imagine those odds got a hell of a lot shorter with Cena’s injury – but I’ll get to HHH in a minute.

First up, is the man who I think will be leaving No Mercy as the Champion – Randy Orton. This may not be the soundest idea in the world, as Orton doesn’t seem to have ironed out all his *professionalism* issues at times, but three things stand in his favour – he’s already involved in the program, the McMahon’s love him, and he’s the hottest heel in the company right now. I figure Orton will leave and hold the Championship, possibly right up until next year’s Wrestlemania, depending on who the WWE has in mind to win the Royal Rumble.

Orton could also be put on the title due to the ready built feuds he has with RAW’s top babyface in Cena’s absence, HHH. Obviously, there is their Evolution days – I’m sure everyone remembers Orton winning his first title, and losing it shortly thereafter to HHH, who had turned on him after Orton’s victory. The role’s are now reversed, so they’d have to be a bit careful if they were to take that tack. Fortunately for the writers, they don’t have to – they have a much easier road to travel.

One of the “legends” that Orton has “killed” is HHH’s partner in D-X and real life friend, Shawn Michaels. I’d expect a feud based around that could be very high in the minds of the senior staff right about now. It rights itself, it puts the top face and top heel together, and is a program that could run until the Rumble, or until Wrestlemania – depending on how quickly you book it, naturally. While, as I mentioned earlier, Orton could conceivably hold the title until losing it to a babyface at Wrestlemania, if the feud with Hunter begins earlier, rather than later, I’d expect to see him win the title around Decemeber time, and head into ‘Mania as Champion.
As for the other contenders? I think it’s come too soon for Mr. Kennedy. I know Mr. Kennedy will be a star of the future, but when I think of him as WWE Champion, my overwhelming thought is one of “not yet”. They called Kennedy the “fastest rising star on Smackdown!” but in my opinion, MVP is closer to being WWE Champion with his superior ring and microphone skills. The fact that Kennedy recently got done serving a suspension for violation of the welfare program won’t help matters. I think it’ll be after Wrestlemania before Kennedy gets to work a program on the title, where – if Wrestlemania follows the usual trend – he will lose to whoever becomes the new champion at that event. Of course, the WWE could ruin this section by rushing Kennedy, but I hope they will not, and I think after the failed Orton/Carlito debacles of the past, they have learned a lesson about rushing their future stars.

Beyond that, there is Lashley – who, in my opinion, doesn’t have the necessary prowess with the microphone to carry the title were he able to wrestle currently. With him not returning until December at the earliest, I can’t see him actually making any impact on the title scene until next summer at the earliest – when he will also have Cena to contend with. I wouldn’t be too surprised to see him moved to Smackdown! upon his return to get him back into the title picture sooner. While he would be out of the limelight on RAW, I could easily see a Wrestlemania face vs. face main event between Batista and Lashley for the Smackdown! brand coming to fruition.

After that, the options become a little less believable. Jeff Hardy is a name the company are throwing around, but popular as he is, he really isn’t main event material – and if he was, he would have become a top player now. Don’t believe me? Edge and Christian started at the same time, and both have become World Champions in the top two promotions in North America. Hardy has been around long enough now that if he was going to go the Scott Steiner/Shawn Michaels/Bret Hart/Edge route and become a breakout singles star, then it would have happened. In that sentence, I was of course referring to Steiner when he was good… seems an eternity ago now, doesn’t it?

There is an outside bet on Umaga, but with rumours of him heading to Smackdown! soon, that does become very unlikely. If, as we’re hearing, his replacement is Mark Henry, all I can say is: I don’t think they are that stupid. Then again, they have been stupid enough to keep him on the roster when he has done nothing of any note except constantly get injured in his 12 years with the company. Even so, I think they have sense enough to know that a Mark Henry title reign, even a Mark Henry title match, does not equal ratings.

And that’s about it. With King Booker out, and Shawn Michaels apparently not returning any time soon, that exhausts the options. There are people that could be thrown into the mix short term, such as Shelton Benjamin and Ron Simmons, who’ve experienced some levels of success in the past, but realistically after the names mentioned the next most likely candidate is actually Vince McMahon. We’ve been there before and we didn’t like it. Not one bit. If that happens again, I predict a riot. The amount of crap thrown in the ring when the nWo formed and when Jarrett beat Raven combined will be nothing compared with the devastation done to that ring if we see another Vince McMahon title reign. So please Vince, think of the children.

Actually, there is one other name – I neglected to mention him, since he’s not currently active, but if he were to become so, he’d play a huge part in the next year. I read a column by my fellow columnist Davey Boy mentioning this gentleman, and the thought of his return actually got me pretty excited, for the first time I’ve got excited about a return since…. Probably Shawn Michaels.

That man is Chris Jericho, and though it’s only speculation at this point, it would be just the tonic the WWE needs. Jericho is one of only a small number of wrestlers on the planet that are legitimately main event. His charisma is through the roof, his mat skills are legendary, and as a result of both can carry not only a worker, but also a feud. Given a proper run with the ball by the WWE, Chris Jericho can be the man for some time – until that next Hogan/Austin/Rock mainstream star emerges.

As for Jericho’s options? Well, there’s HHH for starters. I know the last time out was something of a disaster for Y2J, but I’ve got to believe that they would have learned from the mistakes of last time. A chance to revenge the Wrestlemania 18 loss could do big money, especially if HHH were to turn heel by that point.

I think in Cena’s absence, most of Jericho’s better options come as a babyface. While there is a match with HHH (either with a turned Hunter or Face vs. Face match), he could also work with Kennedy, Carlito, King Booker, Regal and Coachman, and significantly, Randy Orton. As a heel, his options are more limited – HHH still remains an option, though a less appealing one. Jeff Hardy would then be the next best option, followed by… believe it or not… Cody Rhodes. Alright, maybe I’m slightly exaggerating there, but the truth is, there is so much more for Jericho to do as a face, and he also gets to get involved in the title picture with Orton.

My own personal choice would be to put him in, almost as a straight swap for Cena – it’s not like he’s a unfamiliar face, so he doesn’t need months of build up. He can go straight into the feud, and work with Orton, probably producing better matches than Orton would have had with Cena, and also injecting his own style of humour into the feud, which has always proved to be a hit with the fans in the past.

This does also set up something quite nicely for the WWE. Cena vs. Orton has always been slated as a future Wrestlemania event. Now, with Cena out for next years, they could make that a massive main event for Wrestlemania XXV – as long as they don’t shoot their load too early, they could have a feud with 18 months of build up going into that one. It could be, quite simply, huge.

So the WWE’s hand has been forced. But it could just open the way for a bit of diversity in the top tier of the RAW brand – something some fans have been calling out for, for a long time.


I’d like to take a liberty if I could, and ask for your help with my next column. Everyone knows that Ric Flair and Bret Hart don’t exactly see eye to eye. Both have accused the other of being repetitious in their matches, and generally not being as good as they are cracked up to be in-ring. I’m also pretty sure that anyone who has been a fan of one or both of these stars has an opinion on this. So, I’d like anyone and everyone with an opinion to e-mail me with the answer to “Who is the better in ring performer: Bret Hart or Ric Flair?” Please limit your answer to matters concerning in-ring work, because I think even the most rabid Bret Hart fan would admit his charisma and microphone ability was lacking in comparison with the Nature Boy!

You can send answers to this question, and any feedback regarding this column, to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com

Until next time,

Take care

Pt2










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