DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu – Save Us From HHH & HH Y2J + No Mercy Predictions
Submitted by DaveyBoy on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 1:49 AM EST







THE WRESTLING MENU #247

Welcome one and all to the 247th edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.

Before I begin today, I would like to warn readers that I am going to be absolutely flat chat at work throughout October. My work colleague is going on vacation & I will be one out & doing overtime for the month. So not only will I be slow in replying to any emails, but my column may even be a little all over the place over the next few weeks. If I do get to post on my regular day of Wednesday, possibly expect my columns to be shorter than usual & maybe not even my usual 3 courses! You have been forewarned folks.

I move with the times… I follow trends… And the current big talking point in the professional wrestling industry is cryptic messages, so here is mine:

^%$^%$%#$&#%$%$TERRA$$%#%$$%%$%$%$RYZING%$#%#^%^^#$$#USUCK^%$%^^%^%&^%$%MAYTHEGHOSTSOF%^%$$%^^&^^%$%LONDON&KENDRICK%$^&^^%%^#^KEEPUUPEVERYNIGHT^%#$%$$^$%$$###^^^^%^%%$%$$SPARK%$%^^%^^%$PLUG%$%$%$$$#USUCK^%#$%$##$MAYGOLDUSTAVENGEHISBRO$%$##@$#@$#BYMOUNTINGUEVERYNIGHT^#$%$^@#@#SAVEUSY2J#@$#$@%$#@$@#@%PLEASESAVEUS#$#%#$@#@$#@

On with the not too cryptic show…..


APPETIZERS

Triple H & Hardcore Holly Suck

TRIPLE H

As stupid as the phrase sounds, every now & then there is some merit in the following saying; I can forgive you for punching me in the face, it is the treading on my toes as you were leaving that I cannot forgive. While the phrase can be interpreted in one of several ways & can often have several meanings, I tend to read it as when a minor thing causes someone more hate/disrespect than a major thing that has occurred just before it. And oh man did I have one of those moments a couple of weeks ago!

Over the past month, I have had some readers email me asking why I have so much hate for Triple H. Interesting question since I don’t… Or should that be didn’t? I went back & had a look at what I wrote that made some readers think I was a H hater & it was more a couple of off the cuff comments concerning promos on Raw. I do put the warning that my Raw reviews aren’t too serious before I write them, while my PPV predictions also have a little tongue in cheek contained within them sometimes. The bottom line is that Triple H has never been near the top of my hit-list as such. He has never been one of my favorites either, but it’s difficult to dislike the fact that when it came to the big match on pay-per-view, he usually delivered the goods.

BUT as a wrestling fan that hardly ever gets angry/furious about the product, I had one of those moments 2 weeks ago on Raw!!! It was announced earlier on in the night that Triple H would take on World Tag-Team champions Cade & Murdoch later on in the episode. A sort of a sarcastic smirk came across my face & if I had to put my money on who would emerge victorious from such a match, I would have placed my bet on Triple H. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not believe that 1 wrestler should beat the tag-team champions unless there is interference of some sort, but I have seen it happen enough times to be immune to it nowadays.

But what happened after the bout was unforgivable as far as I am concerned. To further their feud with Cade & Murdoch, Paul London & Brian Kendrick came out to even the odds (as Carlito was also beating down the face). They cleared the ring, the crowd was hot & then it happened… H pedigreed each member of the face tag-team. Please tell me why? I’m certain the defenders of the occurrence would say that it was because Triple H was stating to everyone that he needed no help & was solidifying the lone-wolf part of his character. My response to that is BULL$HIT. Seriously, there was 0% need for it & I believe it has hurt one of WWE’s best tag-teams to no end.

Some people will suggest that it may not have been Triple H’s idea to do it. That may be true, but I still don’t give a f**k as even if the rumors of his backstage power are exaggerated, he definitely has enough clout to say “no” to such a meaningless after-match occurrence. No-one wins out of this. Triple H had already had his super-human powers boasted by beating the tag champs, so anything else was unnecessary. And for those expecting attempted retribution by London & Kendrick, I laugh & call you naïve!

Of course, the next week, Triple H lost a handicap match, but who was it that technically beat him? Vince McMahon! We all understand now H; The boss & father-in-law can be put over, but hardly anyone else. Triple H… You now officially suck!!! I would appreciate it if you would prove me wrong.

HARDCORE HOLLY

The line of the month for September goes to my girlfriend while watching Raw last week. She usually wanders in & out of the room while I’m watching wrestling & had mentioned to me during the opening promo that she had noticed that Booker & Kennedy had gone missing of late. So I explained to her about the wellness policy suspensions & rattled off the 8 or so names involved. Then the opening match came along; Cody Rhodes vs….. Hardcore Holly! And then came this gem… “Are you sure there weren’t more suspensions because there would need to be if they have had to drag out Hardcore Holly?” That line was without prompt & I am almost certain that I have not shared my dislike for the former Spark Plug out loud.

A few readers have asked me in the past what is the major reason for my dislike of Holly. Most feel that it his regular stiff shots of young up & coming talent, whether it was on the usual WWE programming or on the series of Tough Enough that he was on. Or maybe it is his obvious sourpuss demeanor? But it is actually neither. It was actually something that happened down under when WWE were on tour here in 2002.

Holly was part of a tag-team match with Chavo Guerrero as his partner. The strange thing is that both these men who are more accustomed to playing the role of heels were 100% faces on the night. After the bout, which I think the 2 won (but that is irrelevant), Holly & Chavo were heading to the back. Being in an arena filled with 50,000+ people, the entrance-way was long. And Chavo smiled & high-fived his way all the way down it. Meanwhile, Holly basically jogged down it looking about as happy as a man who had just been told his mother was in hospital. I can assure you it was very very unprofessional. And how timely is this story IF the rumors are true that Holly is about to begin another FACE tag-team with Cody Rhodes! Good God, will WWE never learn?

Of course, Holly got his way back in 2002 & was turned back heel shortly afterwards. He is indeed a better heel. In that role, I’d give him a 2 out of 10 as compared to his 1 rating when a face. And in the 5 years since then, he has basically done nada apart from make a brave comeback from a reportedly serious elbow injury. Yeah, we appreciate that, but only to some extent as a one-off return to say “hi” would suffice.

The moral of the story is that everyone knows Hardcore Holly sucks! Seriously, unless he is used as an undercard jobber, then he serves no purpose to WWE as far as I am concerned. Hardcore Holly… You officially suck!!!


WE NEED TO BE SAVED


MAIN – Save Us Jericho

The cryptic messages have been all over WWE programming of late. All I see is bar codes & “Save Us 222” on it, but apparently there is all sorts of hidden messages in there & the popular opinion amongst the freeze-framers is that enough evidence suggests that these messages are heralding the return of ‘The Ayatollah Of Rock & Rollah” Chris Jericho. My guess is that the pundits are correct as the timing seems about right for a Jericho return. He has been mentioning for a while (even on national television) that he was not far from returning to pro wrestling. And he even suggested that he was mulling over a WWE offer from memory. Add that to the fact that roster depth isn’t high for WWE at the moment, I would have to say we are about to see the return of WWE’s first ever Undisputed Champion.

To be honest, it surprises me a little that rumors suggest he will return at the No Mercy pay-per-view. In a perfect world, it seems a little early to me, as WWE likes to really stretch these big returns out as much as possible, especially when it’s all supposed to be some sort of mystery & fan conjecture is high as it is here. Who knows? Maybe I will end up being correct & the only thing that will happen at No Mercy is for the clues to be expanded on. But then again, maybe I am wrong & WWE feels the reinforcements have to be brought in as soon as possible.

While some readers may have taken me a little too seriously with regards to my rubbishing of Triple H & Hardcore Holly (as well as my ‘We need to be saved” & “Save Us Jericho” comments), let me make it 100% clear that I believe that Chris Jericho will NOT be the 2nd coming of The Rock or Hulk Hogan. He isn’t going to lead to a ratings explosion or be the one that returns professional wrestling to its glory days.

However, Jericho will help WWE in quite a few ways. Firstly, he is simply another main-eventer & a wrestling promotion will never say “no” to that unless there are extraordinary circumstances. Secondly, he is a main-eventer that can genuinely wrestle & make his opponents look great. This actually is more important now than at any other time as many of the so-called main-eventers & upper midcarders at present are inexperienced with less than 5 years experience in WWE (EG: Kennedy, Lashley, Cena, Orton, Batista, Carlito & MVP).

But you know what I am most looking forward to with Jericho returning; FUN! Please Vince, let there be some fun… Even if it means some of your favorites (read: Triple H & Hardcore Holly) end up with a little egg on their face. Think back to when Jericho first debuted for WWE; Sure, he got embarrassed & had his a$$ handed to him verbally by The Rock, but the whole segment was fun & most of it was Jericho’s doing. And I hope I am not being too naïve by thinking that the fun will indeed return with Jericho’s imminent emergence back into the spotlight. Of course, how long the fun will last is another matter!

But Jericho’s return does beg the question of how he is best used. And I tell you what, it is not an easy question to answer at all! Would I prefer if he ended up on SmackDown? You would think I automatically would considering what I wrote a couple of weeks back. But I’m unsure that I would in this case as having him anywhere near Batista, The Great Khali or The Undertaker just doesn’t do anything for me. While a face Jericho vs MVP feud would indeed be excellent, I think it is fair to state that Jericho would best be suited to the Raw brand due to the greater diversity of star talent wrestling on Monday nights.

So the next question to be answered is should Jericho return as a heel or face? In normal circumstances, this is a 50-50 call. Usually, the theme or angle of such a return would give us hints, but in this case the “Save Us” campaign could be used to good effect either way. In all honesty, it doesn’t have to be tweaked much at all to make it a face or heel trait, especially when it’s in the hands of an expert such as Jericho. Either way, it should be fun to see as long as Jericho is given the necessary time & latitude by WWE.

So the decision should come down to where Jericho fits in best amongst the existing roster & where the most advantageous feuds involving him lie. If he was to return a heel, should he save us from Triple H’s monotony? Should he save us from Cena’s long title reign? Should he save us from Lashley’s lack of charisma? Or should he save us from Jeff Hardy’s face-paint & hair colors? If he was to return a face, should he save us from Randy Orton’s headlocks? Should he save us from Kennedy’s mic work? Should he save us from Booker’s regality? Or should he save us from Umaga’s vocabulary?

Looking at the potential feuders above, on face value it seems better-balanced if he was to return a heel as the strength of the roster is currently on the face side of the ledger. Because of this, I would prefer that Jericho returned a heel, but (& it is a bigger BUT than Umaga’s) will Triple H & Cena be allowed to get involved? Will Jericho in any way be put over in feuds with either man? If so, this is my preference.

But why do I get the feeling that WWE will deem it safer if Jericho returns a face? He can feud with Kennedy immediately… Then he can go after Orton’s title… And of course, there will always be the fall-back feud of face #47 vs Vince McMahon... I can already hear the Hornswoggle jokes! And now, Cena’s recent injury pretty much seals the deal; I think Jericho will return as a face on the Raw roster, even if I would prefer him as a heel in a perfect world.


DESSERT

No Mercy Predictions

NOTE: This card is a bit of a rabble. That’s what the WWE gets when they want to stack pay-per-views 3 weeks apart! Of course, injuries don’t help, especially at the last minute! Anyway, I’ll try & do these predictions as clearly as possible leaving any rumored or guessed bouts for the end.

REY MYSTERIO vs FINLAY: This is a prime example of where 1 extra week would have helped this feud no end. It has actually been built up well as an almost side feud to Rey’s verbal sparring with JBL & physical sparring with The Great Khali. Now I have no problems with indirect feuding laying the foundations for a feud as has been done here. But there needs to be at least 2 weeks worth of direct interaction between the 2 wrestlers leading into a ppv match. I am certain that will occur this Friday on SmackDown, but is it too little too late? I’d probably say it is. The match still should be decent on the night with Finlay most likely controlling the majority of the match by grounding Rey. Rey makes the comeback, the crowd goes bonkers & then it’s just up to WWE bookers whether or not Rey wins by pinfall or DQ. Winner: Rey Mysterio

CANDICE MICHELLE vs BETH PHOENIX for the Women’s Title: It seriously wouldn’t bother me if these 2 almost totally replicated last month’s ppv bout as it was better than what I had expected at the time. Obviously, a few adjustments need to be made, but I wouldn’t throw in too many curve balls as if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. The result is a tough one here. In normal circumstances, I would actually suggest bypassing a Beth Phoenix title run full stop & simply keep the title on Candice for a month or 2. But with the ppv leaning towards face results & Candice’s momentum spluttering a little, it may be more beneficial to have Candice chase the title for a while & then come out looking even stronger when she somehow wins it back. So I’ll go against my gut feeling here & say….. Winner: Beth Phoenix

TRIPLE H vs UMAGA: Let me play Jim Ross for a while & see how many adjectives I can describe Umaga with; Unstoppable, uncontrollable, crazy, monster, careless, Samoan…. Bulldozer! Call him what you will, he is going to get beat down here & probably beat as well. The only chance he has is if Triple H goes sledgehammer happy & gets disqualified. Or if Vince changes the bout to a 37 on 1 handicap match… & even then I am not so sure. #$@@#$SAVEUSY2J$#@#$@# Will the match be any good? It probably will be as the 2 can be entertaining & hard-hitting, while I am hopeful Umaga will be initially booked decently. Winner: Triple H

CM PUNK vs BIG DADDY V for the ECW World Title: It’s very old-school booking that’s being used with the top feuds in ECW of late. That’s not necessarily a bad thing at all, but it all lacks a bit of excitement… A bit of oomph. Nothing some spice like a hardcore match couldn’t fix. Does anyone even remember ECW Rules bouts…??? Anyway, it seems that Big Daddy V has been added to the equation here & that’s probably not a bad thing. Punk vs Dreamer would be yet another ho-hum face vs face match, while Punk vs Burke would be solid but way too predictable. At least BDV could in fact emerge victorious here. I have no idea how good/bad this bout will be, but I am guessing it will be short. I can’t see why they would take the title off Punk now. Winner: CM Punk

BATISTA vs THE GREAT KHALI in a Punjabi Prison Match for the World HeavyWeight Title: Put this simple picture into your head folks; The Great Khali climbing! Just climbing anything of any height… Say the 6 foot side-fence of your house! It just seems wrong & unlikely. And as far as I can remember you have to climb at some stage of a Punjabi Prison Match to win it. Sure, he could just knock it down by yelling at it, but that sort of defeats the purpose of the gimmick. This could be a train-wreck of a match, but if kept short, I suppose they can make it passable. Either way, Batista wins. #$#$@SAVE US Y2J$#@#$OOPSIMEAN$#@@$#$SAVEUSEDGE$#@#@$#@$ Winner: Batista

A MATCH FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP: I’m a trustworthy fella, so believe me when I state that I actually thought (to quote John Cena himself) that the time is now. But since Cena’s injury, we will have to change that to past tense & say that I believed the time was now. What I mean by that was that I was going to predict a title change in the advertised Last Man Standing match & suggest that Randy Orton was going to emerge victorious. And I was quite confident of that result too. To be honest, I really don’t know what WWE is going to do at the ppv & I am intentionally keeping it that way by not thinking of alternatives they may choose. I want to be surprised on the night, so no leaks please WWE! Sure, the savior may arrive & win the title immediately, but I doubt it. My guess is that whether it’s a singles match or a 6 man Hell In A Cell, the new WWE Champion will be….. Winner: Randy Orton

My guess is that there will be 2 matches added to the card & they will both have something to do with the tag-team titles of either brand. It would be a waste to put on a US title bout between MVP & Matt Hardy with little promotion, so I don’t think that will occur & they will more likely defend their tag titles once more. If they do, I think it’s now about the correct time from them to drop the titles or at least lose a match (unless they are against a dud team) & head towards a showdown at Cyber Sunday. On the Raw side of things, Cade & Murdoch could defend against London & Kendrick again, or in a triple-threat including The Highlanders. Either way, I expect the cowboys to retain their titles.

Overall, this card is such a rabble that WWE may as well take some risks & make the most of it. I don’t think too many expect the show to be very good at all, so why not mix things up & surprise us a little? If not, expect this to fall into the unmemorable category that Unforgiven did or maybe even worse.


Ok, that’s edition #247 of ‘The Wrestling Menu’. I am creeping ever so closer to the milestone edition of #250, but before anyone asks, I will answer; NO, I am not planning to do anything special that week. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed today’s column & any negativity didn’t shine through too much. If you would like to provide feedback on anything I wrote about today, then shoot me off an email. My e-mail address is DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com. But if you are an LOP Forums member, it would be much appreciated if you could leave feedback on my thread at http://www.lopforums.com/showthread.php?t=217&page=8. Either way, please remember that it may take me a while to reply.

And while you are on the LOP Forums, why don't you check out my weekly contributions to the Album Review thread. So far, I have reviewed multiple albums each by groups such as My Chemical Romance, Muse, Rise Against, Razorlight, The Killers, Kasabian, The All-American Rejects, Kaiser Chiefs, AFI, Panic At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, Jet, Hinder, LostProphets, Trust Company, Orson, Taking Back Sunday & The Fratellis. These can all be accessed by clicking on the following link & scrolling down: http://www.lopforums.com/showthread.php?t=99&page=3.

Next Wednesday in 'The Wrestling Menu', I will be here with my No Mercy Review & who the hell knows what else. If I was to take a stab in the dark, I think I will have to discuss the implications from the recent John Cena injury, as well as any surprises that occur at No Mercy $%$@#$$#@SAVE US Y2J#$@@#$#@$#%. Hopefully… As per usual, my column will be posted at the same Wednesday time on the same LOP channel. Until then, this is DaveyBoy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.


DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu. 2002-2007

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