|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Randomguy#5 on Friday, June 15, 2007 at 8:31 PM EST
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly - TNA Impact Welcome back to the column that just saved a bunch of money on its car insurance by switching to Geico, The Nosebleed Section. Did I actually switch to Geico? No-of course not. But if The Project had the ad-agency that came up with the Gecko and the Cavemen, I’d be doing a hell of a lot more traffic, that’s for damn sure…. Oh yeah, I’m Random by the way, and thanks for clicking. Figures. I finally launch something of a column series trying to get myself back into writing regularly and what happens? The WWE churns out the best Raw of the year giving me a plethora of topics to talk about! S’all good in the ‘Bleeder hood, though. I’ll touch on a few topics this column, a few more in the latest installment of “Fact or Fiction” that’s in the works, and the rest in the next episode of Monday Night Countdown, which I’m hoping to record Saturday morning with my boy Morph and hopefully make available to you cats’ ears sometime Sunday before I head home to see the old man for Father’s Day. Tis a good time to be the Random One. --God I love the Draft. There’s nothing like a WWE Draft to get the mark in me swirling with excitement. Every pick sends me into a swirl of discussion, either with my friends or with myself about why it was done, whether it was a smart move, and what the ramifications for it are in the future. To me though, this isn’t done in a “smarky” way where I sit around and overly digest everything about wrestling to the point of non-enjoyment. No, it’s more like when your favorite baseball team makes a trade or your football team changes quarterbacks-it gives you plenty to talk about and makes it fun to be a fan again! --As I already mentioned, I thought Monday’s Raw was by far the best of the year. I’d dare say it was the best in longer than a year, but I can’t remember that long and I’m sure I enjoyed an episode last summer more, what with DX running amok and all. Still, what a concept-we’re going to have a compelling story with ramifications for future shows (The Draft) an endless parade of matches (which Raw almost never does) AND we’re going to tie the two together so that the matches mean something! Then, we’re going to end on the granddaddy of all cliffhangers… --First of all, if you’re one of the idiotic twat’s running around the ‘net thinking that Vince is actually dead…shutthefuckup. Seriously-people that dumb are what give us wrestling fans a bad name. No wonder everybody thinks we’re all stupid. (That, or the fact that we use words like “twat” when discussing with other wrestling fans, you figure it out). The “Vince is Dead” storyline will be without a doubt the biggest storyline of the year. It has already generated more of a buzz than anything else the WWE has attempted, including that god-awful Hair vs. Hair storyline. While this may not be capturing the amount of attention from non-fans, I can most certainly assure you that no storyline since the return of ECW or the return of DX has excited the wrestling fan base like this story has. Of course the key to it all will be, to me, two things…1) Who actually ends up responsible. If this sort of thing gets pinned on the those clowns from “Jackass” than it was a waste of space and will serve as a reminder to us all that maybe we’ve out grown this wrestling fandom thing. 2) It depends entirely on how Vince returns and how long it takes. Note to the WWE: Don’t rush this. There is a lot of room to maneuver here, and if it takes us all the way to Survivor Series to figure out who the man responsible is, I say-Kudos. Personally, I’m hoping that the “death” of McMahon leads to some sort of power-struggle atop the WWE that sees the WWE acknowledge the marriage of Triple HHH and Stephanie, perhaps with they, Shane, and Linda engaging in a some sort of three way struggle for the company. Hell maybe include some new guy as a sort of “majority stock holder” character or something. Survivor Series can give us a traditional team battle for the throne of the WWE until Vince returns a baby face to rip his company back…that would own! Either that….or it’s Steve-O and Vince is going to return claiming to have risen from the dead so as to portray some sort of quassi-offensive religious character. L The Monday Night Wars are over. Yeah, no shit right? Except some people just can’t seem to get a handle on that. They’re dead, and they’re never coming back. Total Non-Stop Action is without a doubt the unrivaled “#2” in the wrestling industry. No other promotion (sans WWE) is even close to the market share that TNA holds in North America (regardless of much the RoH marks might want you to think otherwise). Yet, as far as TNA is in front of RoH and every other promotion in the Western Hemisphere, they might be even further behind the WWE (no matter how much the TNA marks might want you to think otherwise). Consider this: On [b]their best week[/b] TNA Impact draw on average 70% fewer fans than what the WWE’s worst show draws [b]on a down week[/b]. Even after the cataclysmic ratings decline ECW has suffered since its debut, there are still weeks when they are nearly double the ratings of Impact. And before every adolescent hick south of the Mason-Dixon line floods my email about how TNA airs twice, and to get a true representation of their audience you have to combine those two ratings (where it just barely reaches ECW proportions, not yet even close to the ratings of Smackdown much less Raw) understand that a fair percentage of the re-run’s audience is merely spot monkey’s jerking off in a circle to Black Machismo with five TV’s turned on in their house trying to save the poor show’s ratings. Despite the venom I’m spewing however, TNA definitely serves a purpose and plays a pivotal role in to the world of professional-wrestling. Today, I’m going to take a look at that role while taking a look at The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Total Non-Stop Action. Alternative. That doesn’t always mean “better”. It doesn’t always mean “counterculture” or “grunge” either. What it means is something different than the status quo, and in the wrestling universe World Wrestling Entertainment is without a doubt, the status quo. TNA however built their company as being an alternative to what the WWE is/was offering and that is still in my humble opinion, the way to build a wrestling promotion in this country. I just don’t think anybody can come along and out-Vince, Vince McMahon. If that could have been done, Ted Turner and WCW would have done it, but even then when WCW was at its strongest it was serving up alternatives to what the then WWF was doing. TNA still holds the cards to do this. They’re not allowing the cruiser weight’s to fly? Cue up our X-Division. They’re only pushing beach-boys with a million dollar bodies who can’t wrestle a lick? Ladies and gentlemen we’ll give you Samoa Joe. Afraid to push the cultural envelope? LAX, 24-7. Can’t get enough “Extreme Rules”? Get a load of Monster’s Ball or King of the Mountain. Dig on Ladder matches? You won’t believe what you’re seeing with Ultimate X or Elevation X. (Ok, the last one might be a bad example, but at least the effort was there). And then there’s this business about all those great “could be” stars that the WWE just keeps casting off. Call it the island of Misfit toys, but I’m going to call Orlando the land of second chances for WWE castaways. While I’m sure there are those who will argue that TNA could and should be doing more with guys like Rhino or Kurt Angle, there’s no denying that TNA has taken all that built of markdom surrounding Christian Cage and unleashed into the star that the WWE just didn’t seem willing to let him be. The same could be said for Ron Killings, who went from the embarrassing K-Kwik in the WWE to the three time NWA World Heavyweight Champion as “The Truth”. After completely flattening out in Vince’s promotion, Team 3D has found new life as the tag-team champions of TNA, and even guys like Scott Steiner and Raven serve a purpose on TNA programming. There’s no doubt that TNA has made the industry stand up and take notice. Spike TV let the WWE walk two years ago knowing that they had the young, upstart promotion in the wings. Guys like Kurt Angle, Christian and (reportedly) Rob Van Damn are heading for greener pastures, the lighter work load and (again, reportedly) freedom from the oppressive, harsh nature of working in the WWE. Fans have more say in TNA as evidenced by the hundreds of gimmicky fan interaction contests and giveaways hosted on their website. There is further evidence that management seems to be listening to what the fans want, and in return they have the opportunity to be part of something from the ground up, to watch their beloved promotion grow from relative obscurity to making splash after splash in the industry and after receiving a better timeslot for their efforts last year appears in line for a second hour of programming later this year. Unfortunately for all those things that TNA does well, they don’t quite do them well enough. Yes, they’ve struck gold with guy Christian and they’ve had marginal success with Team 3D and The Truth. They’ve also missed the boat with Raven since debuting on Spike TV and failed to truly capitalize on landing one of the Top 5 wrestlers in the world in Kurt Angle. His existence in that company failed to substantially boost ratings and what they’ve done with him since the Samoa Joe feud has only driven away the handful of fans he brought down with him from Connecticut. In fact, it’s not just the WWE castaways that TNA seems to have mismanaged. Two years ago Samoa Joe was the undisputed hottest free-agent in wrestling, and TNA landed him. Despite a tremendous push, back-to-back yearly covers of PWI’s “Top 100” wrestlers in the world, and a sensational fan following, Joe has yet to hold the TNA Heavyweight championship. Fellow RoH alumnus Austin Aries (who’s name has since been changed to the embarrassing Austin Star) and also seem to have been misused. Perhaps it is simply evidence of performance based contracts, too large a roster, and only a one-hour show, but TNA is often mind-boggling crowded. As was reported several months ago, after watching an episode of Impact! Vince Russo reportedly commented “I don’t think I could tell you one thing I just seen”. The IWC often seems to echo these sentiments and thanks in large part to the misuse of talent that group of fans seems to be largely ignoring the promotion that has gone from Messiah to Punchline in a relatively short time span. As much as TNA had (and still has) going for it as the “alternative” to the WWE they seem to be doing more to mirror wrestling’s #1 promotion than separate themselves from it. Yes, they once had the best cruiserweight action on free TV, but they’ve since then turned their formerly proud X-Division into a side-show circus being led this week on PPV by a Chris Sabin vs. “Black Machismo” who for those not following is actually former Indy standout Jay Lethal doing his best Macho Man Randy Savage impression (though, admittedly it is pretty good). Rather than sticking with what’s made their PPV’s some of the most entertaining wrestling hours spent in 2005-2006, extended matches with exciting finishes, they’ve turned their free TV matches into storyline advancing skits or squashes, and their PPV’s have become at times comically bad, thanks in large part to…. The booking man, my god the booking! It can be at times nothing short of horrific! Seriously now, who’s idea was it to have an electrified cage match? Are they still employed? Yes? Now we’re getting to the root of the problem…it’s probably the same clown who thought that splitting up the greatest Tag-Team in the company’s history, America’s Most Wanted, was a great idea for a three month feud featuring a blind-fold match as it’s payoff match. And both of those were on the same card! How Vince Russo still has a job, I’ve no idea. I have however concluded that after an extended stint away from wrestling as a result of apparently “finding Jesus” he has either a) decided to let Jesus do the booking and apparently J.C. spent too much time walking on water and not enough time watching wrestling or b) has come back from religious sabbatical for the sole purpose of destroying the evil entity that is professional-wrestling. Jim Cornette and a handful of others are apparently involved as well, and while my wrestling history isn’t flawless I can’t help but think that a guy like Cornette must be on the verge of aneurism every time he’s forced to sit in a booking meeting with Russo, Borash and Tenay and dream up the garbage they put on TV. Beyond the nauseating state of the X-Division there is the main event scene which has gone from god-awful to passable over the six months, thanks in large part to the absence of Jeff Jarrett and the involvement of Samoa Joe, Christian Cage and Kurt Angle. Unfortunately TNA just can’t seem to keep all these guys away from each other, which means that each month the main event is some cluster-fuck of the same three-five guys. They would be much better served to exert some effort on organizing their main-event scene and strive like hell to get some fresh feuds there, preferably something resembling a one-on-one matchup every now and again. And last but not least, as bad as TNA has handled a few of the WWE acquisitions, and as bad as they’ve mishandled a handful of RoH talent, it’s a downright travesty what they’ve done with their homegrown guys. AJ Styles has gone from the future of wrestling to a glorified jobber. Christopher Daniels seems to be gaining some direction after years as the world’s only fallen angle to done khaki’s and collar’s on a regular basis. Abyss may be set for a serious push, and to their credit he’s been handled fairly well. Chris Harris, James Storm, Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin (the current X-D title holder) and Petey Williams have all been booked awfully at times as well and have been forced to give up TV time while TNA incessantly gives it away to worthless personalities like Bob Backlund, Don West, Ugly Naked Guy and boring semi-celebrities who do nothing to help ratings like David Eckstein (and I’m a Cardinal fan!), Jeff Torbourg, and most recently Frank Wycheck. Ultimately, TNA is going to go as far as they want to. Can they one day close the gap between themselves and the WWE? Many would argue that they are now, even still, though it’s happening in the tiniest of baby-steps. While there’s no doubt that external things like a better timeslot or a second hour of programming would help them, the majority of the issues surrounding the promotion can be resolved from within. The powers that be (Dixie Carter) need to realize that the solution to the performance problems of the company is not pushing Sting to the moon, letting Russo book unchecked, or putting the title on Jeff Jarrett. To their credit, two of those three circumstances seem to have been remedied in recent months. As TNA approaches it’s Five-Year Anniversary and officially separates itself from the National Wrestling Alliance they need to understand that the time is never too late to reinvent your product and they are still in the driver’s seat with regards to all things sports-entertainment in North America. All things that is, that aren’t ran by Vincent Kennedy McMahon (R.I.P.) Sanctimonious Son of a Bitch Donald Trump... I think I hate you. I wasn’t terribly happy with your presence on my wrestling television back in April and to see you again this week on Raw makes me sad. Not like, crying sad. More like, “Every time you’re on Raw a kitten becomes fried rice” sad. Stay away Trump. And take Bob Costas, Steve-O, and Snoop Dog with you, please. Cannon Fodder Nobody else could have been sacrificed for the greater good, or done the job any better, than what Vincent Kennedy McMahon did on Raw Monday night. The guy got blown up! Of course he wasn’t actually in the limo…or maybe he was but was in some sort of uber-fire safe bunker in the backseat. Hey, maybe Linda was in the backseat and the two took the opportunity to get a little frisky…that’s what I did in my only venture in the backseat of a Limo..get a little frisky. Not with Linda McMahon of course. That’s just frightening. No, my fiery experience in the back of a limo was after Senior prom with a dark-skinned sexy little captain of the school dance team. Ah, those where the days. Back before she became a raging bitch and started swallowing down that little cowboy mother fucker she hooked up with when I went away to college…I’m not bitter though. Cheap Pop One of the top columnists in the last two years recently made his return to the Columns Forum this week and you‘d be a damn fool for not checking it out. The latest edition of Pulp Wrestling by that bad mutha’ fucka Jules takes a look at the ten greatest DDT’s of all times, completely with pictures, animation, and other cool shiny tricks that us older columnists just can’t pull off (or don’t like to put in the time to make them work). Stop in and check out the column, it’s damn good stuff by a damn good columnist. That’s it, no more, the end! I’ve got a Monday Night Countdown to record and a Fact or Fiction to put together for your enjoyment so be on the look out for those. Also, if you’re a member of the Lopforums.com (if you’re not, why the hell not?) be sure to stop in and vote for the “Reader’s Choice” Award, winner get’s inducted into the Columns Forum Hall of Fame (Ssshhh..I voted for Boss Foxx!). You can check that out by clicking HERE! I’ll be back either next Saturday or the one their after with the next installment of “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly” but until then I bid thee a fond farewell. Thanks as always for visiting The Nosebleed Section-but next time, get better seats. Click Here to Visit the Lop Columns Forum! The second best place on the Internet to read wrestling columns!  New Episode on newsstands Sunday morning! Episode 26 -Hi-Fi Edition Episode 26-Low-Fi Edition --Hi-Fi Editions are slightly larger files and take longer to download but are better audio quality. Low-Fi are more dial-up user friendly.  Visit TheProjectLives.com and check out some great creative writing, social commentary, music downloads and pod casting including some familiar names you may recognize from Lop. Do some writing yourself? Jump in and give it a shot! Know somebody else who’d be better? Spread the word!  Free internet radio station ran by yours truly featuring all the best in hard rock and mainstream metal. If it seems like anything you’d be interested in listening to, give it a spin while you’re reading through some columns on Lop or The Project. We internet radio junkies may be in trouble so if you’ve got a few minutes to spare visit Live365.com and click on the “call your representative” link and try and help save Internet Radio. I’d appreciate it. *NEW GALLERY* She's Still XTREME! Hot New Pix of Former WWE Diva BROOKE ADAMS!!!
|
|