TNA iMPACT! Results (05/31/07)
Submitted by Lunchbox on Friday, June 1, 2007 at 4:06 AM EST





Video package of last week.

Cornette's in the ring and says Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle qualified for the King of the Mountain match. Tonight was going to be Jeff Jarrett v. AJ Styles, however everyone knows that Jeff's been dealing with a lot of family issues and he wouldn't be able to compete tonight. Unfortunately that leaves Cornette with a tough decision. Cue Christian Cage.

He cuts the music and demands the spotlight on him. He asks Cornette what's wrong with the picture. If AJ said he needed family time, Cornette would be having a party. The Christian Coalition are having a party and he's not invited. He wants Cornette to take AJ's hand and raise it in victory over Jeff Jarrett and then they'll leave. However, Cage has to tell Cornette he's a joke in how he conducts business.

Cage knows what happened at Sacrifice, he wanted to make it five on one. Angle, Sting, Cornette and two referees against Cage, yet he still couldn't beat Christian Cage decisively. He throws Steiner and Tomko into a tag match with LAX, and the kicker is Cage still doesn't know who his opponent is. This is Cage's show and Cornette better not forget it.

Cornette apologizes for not doing business the way Cage wants it. He was going to give AJ the win by disqualification, but since Cage wants to come down and squawk about the bad business he's been doing lately, he's not going to do that. He's thinkin' that all the fans wants to see a match. Just because Cage showed him the error of his ways, he's going to make AJ wrestle ... against Tomko!

AJ starts hopping around and Cage tells him to calm down. Cage wants to know his opponent for the King of the Mountain qualifying match. Cornette tells him to worry about the bigger problems with his group, his posse, his Christian Coalition. He's going to be facing a guy that Christian has called a punk and is beneath him on every level, so not to worry about it.

Cornette leaves the ring and AJ and Christian argue with each other.
(Eval- Nice little segment, I'm loving how they're working the Christian Coalition against one another. Rating- * 1/2)

JB is in the back and says that in the past week there have been hiring, firings and wrestlers from other companies wanting to jump ship to TNA. If anybody wants it text straight to their phone, text "TNA" to 76000. Speaking of backstage news, he asks Daniels about him and Sting.

Daniels says that he went to Sting for enlightenment, and he sent him on the path he's on now. However, the strength of his convictions are too much for Sting. The thing about faith is you embrace your beliefs or you're consumed by them. Daniels has made his choice, now Sting needs to.
(Eval- Sting and Daniels need a match at Slammiversary. Rating- *)

Commercial.

Leticia is in Cornette's office with Eric Young. Cornette comes in and tells Eric to get out of his chair. Eric needs his help, Roode is making his life a living hell. Roode and Ms. Brooks come in and tell Eric to answer his phone when Roode calls. Roode slaps Eric in the back of the head. Cornette says that if Roode wants to slap him around, do it in a match at Slammiversary. Drop all the legal bull and paper work, if Eric loses, Cornette will fire him himself. If he wins, he's free from Roode.

Backlund comes in screaming for Alex Shelley. He passed the drug test, he wants Alex Shelley. Lying and cheating, it's disrespectful. Backlund wants Alex Shelley. Cornette says that if Backlund brings him documents saying he's clear to wrestle at 57 years old, so he doesn't get sued by another lawyer, he'll let him wrestler. Cornette walks out trying to find a peaceful office.
(Eval- Eh, I'm glad it's Young v. Roode at Slammiversary. This whole Backlund thing is getting tired. Rating- 1/2 *)

Match I : Rhino v. Christopher Daniels
(Note- Didn't we see this a couple weeks ago? There's 30+ more wrestlers that could be wrestling him.)
As Daniels comes down the ramp Sting attacks him. Multiple shots into the guard rail. Steel chair in hand, a shot to Daniels' back. Sting throws Daniels into the ring, Rhino tries to get to him but the referee blocks him. Sting with a big boot to Daniels, clothesline to the outside. Sting and Daniels fight through the crowd. Sting throws Daniels into two walls. Down the stairs and out of the iMPACT! Zone, Daniels is thrown into multiple guard rails, another wall then beaten with Sting's bat. Sting says something to him and walks away.

Back in the ring, Rhino has a mic. He came out here to knock Daniels' teeth down his throat, but Sting already did that. He's now issuing an extreme challenge to anybody in the back. He'll cut anybody in half with a Gore! Gore! Gore!. LAX's music hits.

Konnan says that it's apparent that TNA has a conspiracy against LAX. They put them in all these matches that they weren't familiar with to try and strip them of their titles. Then they put them in a hundred matches with "the Dudley Brothers" so they can take them away. Now they've got Rhino having beef with LAX. They're the nastiest tag team in all of wrestling. If he wants to get someone to come out and help him before they kick his ass, he can pick anyone from the back.

Konnan notices Hector Guerrero in the crowd. He tells him he turned his back on LAX and the Latino Nation because he sold out. He's washed up like money that's laundered. He asks Hector if he's going to run like a typical Guerrero or face him like a man. He says that Hector has no balls in Spanish. Hector heads to the ring with Rhino.

Commercial.

Match I.I Rhino v. Homicide
Reversal shoots Rhino into the ropes, Homicide quickly thrown into the ropes and back body dropped. Momentum throws Rhino outside. Homicide off the ropes, suicide dive flip. Hernandez with right hands to Rhino before throwing him back into the ring. Cover, two count on Rhino. Rhino off the ropes, spinning elbow by Homicide, two count. Rest hold has Homicide working on Rhino's jaw, Rhino fights back, Homicide pulls him down by his hair. Two count.

Snapmare takeover, Homicide up top, elbow drop. Two count. Homicide works on the back of Rhino's neck before Rhino fights back, reversals send Rhino off the ropes, shoulder block, knife edge chop and shoulder block to Homicide in the corner. Belly to-belly suplex by Rhino and he sets up for the Gore!. Hernandez distracts the ref then grabs Rhino's leg. Rhino swings at Hernandez and Homicide drops him.

To the opposite ropes, Homicide drops Hector Guerrero. Homicide up top, tries a tornado DDT but Rhino throws him off and hits the Gore!. Three count!

Winner : Rhino

Post-match Hernandez comes in and works on Rhino's neck. Homicide and Hernandez stand him up, Konnan with his crutch. Hector in and puts Konnan into the corner. Hernandez grabs Hector, Konnan hits the crutch on Hector, then on Rhino. Chris Harris with the save, off the ropes and a Thesz Press on Hernandez. Konnan hits Harris with the crutch. LAX gets the best of the men. Hernandez on Rhino, Homicide on Harris and Konnan mounts Hector.
(Eval- Wow .. I don't know what else to say. That entire segment and match was horrible. That was about twelve minutes that could have been used for a solid match with no storyline. Give me two X Division guys with no beef over this any day. Rating- *)

Backstage JB is with Samoa Joe. Quickly interrupted by Angle. Angle says that Joe should worry more about Angle than Tomko and Styles. Angle's never liked Joe. If he ever cripples someone, he'll let them know about it. Angle swears to Joe that he's going to cripple him. Joe says he better pray that he doesn't get to Angle first.
(Eval- I've always loved this feud. Rating- *)

Commercial.

Backstage the Christian Coalition are arguing. AJ asks Cage why he keeps getting in these predicaments. Cage asks if he's about to cry, he says no. It's not funny that he has to wrestle Tomko. Tomko's laughing. Cage says that Cornette is getting what he wants, he's working them against each other. They're brothers, they fight but the next day, they're brothers again. Tonight, they're going to the ring and they're going to wrestle, the best man will win. Then it all goes back to normal. They all put their hands in and Tomko grabs Styles by the neck. Tonight it's going to be short, sweet and painless.
(Eval- Good stuff. Rating- * 1/2)

Match II : Kaz v. Chris Sabin (Non-title match)
Lock up, Kaz with a wrist lock, reversal by Sabin into a side head lock. Reversal by Kaz, side headlock reversed into another one by Sabin. Kaz off the ropes, spit to the face by Sabin, jumping knee to Kaz's jaw. Sabin off the ropes, elbow by Kaz, standing drop-kick connects with Sabin. Kaz into the corner, leap frog, Kaz grabs the back of Sabin's hair and brings him to the mat. Two count.

Kaz sent to the apron, goes for a spring board but Sabin rakes the eyes. Elbow sends Kaz outside. Suicide dive by Sabin. Back in the ring, spring board but Sabin stops before connecting and lands on his feet. Fist to Kaz's forehead. Rear chin lock applied by Sabin. Kaz fights back but Sabin sends him down. Stomp to the back of Kaz's head. Right hand by Sabin, Kaz into the corner, flying elbow by Sabin. Sabin paint brushes Kaz, off the ropes but Kaz gets a boot up, Sabin catches. Leg sweep by Kaz.

Kaz spring boards off the middle rope, leg drop on Sabin. Drop-kick sends Sabin down. Back up, Kaz off the ropes, jumping front kick to Sabin's face. Two count. Kaz pulls Sabin's tights down to pull him back in, enzugiri by Sabin. Sabin sets Kaz up for the Cradle Shock but Kaz reverses into a twisting DDT. Two count broken up by Sabin getting his foot on the rope.

Both men up top, Sabin bites Kaz's head. Kaz with a running leap front kick to Sabin's face. Kaz up top but is distracted by Raven and Serotonin up in Raven's Nest. Sabin sets him up in the Tree of Woe, hesitation drop-kick! Cradle shock, three count.

Winner : Chris Sabin
(Eval- Wow, that was beautiful. Kaz needs to do more spots like this, both men were completely fluid. Rating- **)

Backstage with BG James. Basham, Damaja and Trick tried to cripple him. He'll cripple them. They've awakened the sleeping dog. They did what they didn't want to do, and that's piss off this redneck. He and his brother will ride them for eight, maybe sixteen seconds. They're in his backyard, and nobody leaves except a James. Get it, got it? Good.
(Eval- Ooo, the D O double G is pissed. Rating- 1/2 *)

Commercial.

Paparazzi Productions shows Jay and Nash backstage, Jay asks him how he likes his coffee. He says he likes it hot and black. Sonjay Dutt walks in and says that he needs to find himself. The Original Playa From The Himalayas is gone. Hopefully Jay and Nash will be there next week.
(Eval- Aww, I liked the Playa. Rating- 1/2 *)

Main Event : AJ Styles v. Tomko : King of the Mountain Qualifying Match III
Lock up, AJ over powered and thrown into the ropes. Christian Cage comes down to the ring with a chair and watches. Lock up, AJ once again over powered and tossed down. AJ goes for Tomko's leg but he grabs him and throws him away like a rag doll. AJ with a rake to Tomko's eyes. AJ off the ropes, shoulder block by Tomko sends him down. Tomko tosses AJ to the outside. Cage checks on him.

Commercial.

AJ works on Tomko's knees. Right hand by AJ. During the break Tomko comes outside and tells Cage to back off but AJ clips him from behind. Thus creating the offense we're currently seeing. AJ continues to work Tomko's legs, fires him off into the ropes then gets a one count. Shots to the back of Tomko. Tomko fights back with an elbow before Styles quickly gets a kick to Tomko's leg and sends him back down.

Angle comes down the ramp way, followed quickly by Samoa Joe who pushes past Angle. Back in the ring, AJ is working on Tomko's leg. Tomko with a power slam and a right hand to Styles. Styles into the corner, boot to the midsection, Tomko military presses AJ over his head, fall away slam. Two count. Tomko off the ropes, Pele! AJ sent into the ropes, once again over powered by Tomko. AJ off the ropes, flying forearm sends Tomko down.

Cage is up on the ring and distracts the referee. AJ to the outside, chair in hand, back inside he goes for a swing but Tomko with a boot sends him down. Two count. Tomko and Cage fight over the chair, AJ gets the roll up. Three count.

Winner : AJ Styles - Third King of the Mountain Qualifier.
(Eval- Nice match, however we all knew Cage was going to screw Tomko. Rating- * 1/2)

Final Analysis- Below average iMPACT!. Good X Division match, some good promos and an okay main event. Could have been better, couple storylines were continued. However, I'll say it again, iMPACT! needs two hours. 4/10. Goodnight folks.

Lunchbox
thelunchreport@columbus.rr.com








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