Raw Results 5/28/2007
Submitted by Donny Anderson on Monday, May 28, 2007 at 11:13 PM EST





After a tribute to the Troops for Memorial Day in the USA, Raw begins LIVE in Toronto, Ontario, Canada!

Immediately after the intro ends, Candice Michelle's music starts, as JR and King announce the Diva Memorial Day Bikini Battle Royal!

Memorial Day Bikini Battle Royal

We have Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Kayla, Candice Michelle, Mickie James, Maria, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool, Kristal, and Melina. Everyone starts fighting with beach toys, water balloons, water guns, and water balloons. They must be thrown to the floor to be eliminated. The crowd hates this. They're not the only one. I can't really tell you whats going on, because it's chaos - like a Picasso of silicone, hair dye, and collagen. Brooke is eliminated, followed by Maria. Layla is eliminated next, but I get the Divas confused, so I'm not sure who is eliminating who, especially with their make-up running from the water, it's hard to recognize them. Mickie James is eliminated next, when Jillian Hall eliminated Candice Michelle. After a two on one from Jillian and Melina on McCool, Jillian Hall was eliminated by McCool, and now it's McCool and Melina. Melina is beating McCool six ways from Sunday. Melina tries to dump McCool over the top rope, but McCool gets out of it, dropkicks Melina, and sends Melina out of the ring to win the battle royal.

Your Winner: Michelle McCool
(Match Rating: D+. Lowest match I've rated in my short tenure here, but this was pointless and took 15 minutes away from storyline progression and athleticism. It gets a "+" because McCool winning is a surprise, and there at least was some surrealism to the whole affair. The Toronto crowd gets an A)

Shane McMahon is shown in the back, and he will make a major announcement next!

After a break, Shane McMahon's music hits and he comes out with a mic in hand. He says that today is the start of summer. He says he's excited about his announcement, and that in 2 weeks time there will be the first ever tri-brand draft, and that no one is exempt. He says that this sunday at One Night Stand, Vince will beat Lashley and retain the ECW title. Speaking of Lashley, Shane says he will beat Lashley tonight as Lashley teams with John Cena to face Umaga, the Great Khali, and Shane himself. He says that Lashley will know why they call Shane "The Money". Shane does his little dance, and we go to a commercial.

After the break, The Hardys' music hits and the tag champs come out for an eight man tag match, to the usual huge pop. Cade and Murdoch's music then hits, and they come out to join the Hardys. The World's Greatest Tag Team's music then hits, and Haas and Benjamin come out, soon followed by Johnny Nitro and Kenny Dykstra.

8 Man Tag Match: The Hardys and Cade and Murdoch vs. WGTT, Kenny, and Nitro.

Nitro and Cade start off. Cade takes control with a shoulder block, and tags in Murdoch. Murdoch works over Nitro, and tags into Matt Hardy. Nitro manages to work Matt into the corner, and makes the tag to Benjamin. Matt manages to get Benjamin into the corner and tags in Jeff. They double team Benjamin, and Jeff tags in Matt again for a double axe handle off the middle rope. Matt works over Benjamin, but Benjamin tags in Haas. Haas gets taken to the woodshed by a flurry of quick tags involving Cade, Jeff, and Matt once again. Haas finally gets to Benjamin, who gets the offensive over Matt, and tags back in Haas. Haas is then beat down by Matt, who tags in Jeff, who hits a "poetry in motion" big splash on Haas in the corner. The Hardys are in the ring, and WGTT are on the outside recuperating. As WGTT regroups, Murdoch gets on the top rope and splashes both of them on the outside. Whoa. We go to commercial as WGTT is knocked out and the Hardys are still in the ring. We are back with Haas over Murdoch, when Murdoch tags in Jeff. Haas is hit with a "Whisper in the wind" but Shelton cheap shots Jeff, putting Haas back in control. Haas tags in Benjamin who goes to work on Jeff. Shelton tags in Kenny, who nails Jeff with a fist off the top rope. Kenny with a two count, and tags in Nitro, only to slingshot Jeff into Nitro's waiting fist. Jeff is held by Kenny while Nitro nails Jeff with a leg drop over the top rope. Shelton is tagged in, catching Jeff with a spinning wheelkick. Benjamin locks in a sleeper, as Jeff struggles to stay in the match. Benjamin tags in Haas, who hits a belly to belly, and another near fall. Haas now locks in the sleeperhold. Jeff fights back, only to get his hair pulled and slammed back into the mat. Kenny is tagged in now and gets a two-count. Frustrated, Kenny stomps Jeff and puts him in a chinlock. Jeff fights out of the chinlock, and hits Kenny with a drop-lariat. Jeff jumps for the hot tag to Matt Hardy, who slams Kenny with a clothesline into a bulldog. Matt gets a two count. Nitro interferes, and Matt hits a bulldog and scorpion deathdrop on both Nitro and Kenny. We now have Bedlam! All men are in the ring, but eventually Matt hits the twist of fate on Kenny, and Jeff nails the swanton for the win.

Your Winners: Hardys and Redneck Wrecking Crew

After the match, WGTT challenges the Hardys to a title match at One-Night-Stand. Hardys accept, but make it a ladder match! That should be pretty awesome with these talents mixing it up. Forecast is Clear with a Chance of High Spots; but Lord, don't let any of them get hurt.

(Match Rating: B+. This was a Survivor Series caliber match, with the action so fast that it was hard to type in sync with the chaos. It was exciting, fresh, and a good match by every competitor. Cade is a beast, and Murdoch is doing things that a man of his girth really shouldnt... which is great. All 8 men should be congratulated, as this made up for the ridiculous Diva debacle earlier.)

Todd Grisham announces that Cena will speak up next as we go to commercials...

We come back to Grisham speaking with Cena in the back. Grisham asks Cena if he's scared of Khali. Cena says he has no friends, only his word, and he never goes back on his word. He is not afraid of the Great Khali. Cena imitates Khali, which is hilarious. He says that he's not deaf, nor invincible, and he hears what people are saying. They doubt whether he can do the impossible. He says yes, he did make Khali tap, but there was doubt whether he won or lost. He says at One Night Stand, all the critics and doubters will be silenced, as he will beat Khali from the ring to the crowd to the beer stand down the street. He gives us his word; he can, and will, beat Khali.

We fade out for another commercial...

Maria is in the back with Santino Marella. Maria asks Marella about the draft, and Marella says as long as he is here, and he is Champion, he is happy. Maria asks if his accent is Italian. Marella says no, Jersey. Then he says he's joking, and leaves. After Marella leaves, Orton shows up. Apparently RVD got on WWE.com and trashed Orton, which led to the match tonight. Orton said taking HBK out was the second best moment of his career, second only to winning the belt. Orton said he respected HBK, but he doesn't respect RVD. Orton says he will enjoy what he will do to RVD.

The RVD music hits, and this match is next!

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton is pretty banged up - it looks like a cat attacked his right shoulder. The two men stare down, the bell rings, and they lock up. Orton gets behind RVD, but RVD reverses, and gets behind Orton. Orton reverses again, into a headlock on RVD. RVD tries to power out but is locked in the hold. RVD finally reverses into a hammerlock, but is met with elbows by Orton. Orton attempts to hiptoss RVD, but RVD blocks, and throws an armdrag takedown onto RVD. The crowd is chanting "TNA" audibly. RVD comes back, getting several near falls via rollup on Orton. Orton slides out of the ring, as RVD looks on. Orton gets back into the ring and cheapshots RVD in the gut with a knee. RVD puts Orton into the corner and hits his leg flip, but when RVD comes off the ropes, Orton catches him with another knee. Orton pounds RVD into the turnbuckles, and the two exchange blows. Orton whips RVD into the ropes, but RVD catches Orton with a spinning heel kick. RVD goes for the rolling thunder, but Orton rolls out of the ring. Both men out now, when Orton puts RVD back into the ring. Orton into the corner, but he leapfrogs a charging RVD. RVD catches himself, and goes for a moonsault, but Orton hits RVD with a dropkick that sends him from the top rope onto the outside guardrail. The match goes to a commercial as RVD is groggy, and Orton stands in the ring...

...after the break, Orton has RVD in a sleeper in the middle of the ring.

My laptop just crashed. Gonzo, catch as catch can journalism, folks. I apologize for this missing section, I was rebooting and freaking out.

RVD is in the corner, and catches Orton with a boot. Both men are down as the ref begins counting. Orton is up first, but RVD hits him with a right. Both men exchange blows, when Orton puts RVD into the ropes. RVD holds onto the ropes, Orton misses a dropkick, and RVD hits the rolling thunder. RVD in control, with two near falls. RVD slams Orton, and then hits a moonsault off the second rope. Orton thumbs RVD in the eye, but RVD hits the windmill kick on Orton. RVD jumps to the top rope, but Orton rolls out of the ring onto the apron. RVD then hits a flying kick to Orton on the apron, sending Orton out of the ring. That was awesome. Orton is back in the ring, and he DDT's RVD when RVD's legs were on the ropes. RVD is almost out, as the Ref asks RVD to talk ot him. RVD looks concussive, as Orton begins to stalk. Orton hits a hard shot to RVD's head, as JR begins to sell the concussion angle, a la HBK. RVD can't even stand as Randy kicks him right in the head. The Referee calls for the bell as RVD is out cold, eyes open, and tongue out of his mouth. As the bell rings, Orton hits the RKO for good measure, leaving RVD for dead.

Your Winner: Randy Orton

The Medical staff attends to RVD as Orton makes his way to the back amidst a mixed sea of cheers and boos.

(Match Rating: B. So long, RVD. Twas nice, no? Randy is getting a mixed reaction because he's so dang cool, but I'm sad to see RVD go out like this. I wish he'd break kayfabe and say goodbye to the crowd, but if he did, he'd never work in the WWE again, so maybe it's best to play along with his "concussion." Who else is leaving? My guess is that whoever it is will be the next victim of Orton's "Concussion World Tour 07.")

After a break, Ric Flair's trademark epic music hits, and he and Torrie Wilson come down to the ring for this inter-gender match. Carlito's music hits and Carlito comes out with Victoria.

Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson vs. Carlito and Victoria

Flair starts off by hitting some chops on Carlito, who manages to tag into Victoria. She slaps Flair, and begins to taunt him to slap her. Flair grabs her legs and flips her to the ground, and locks in the Figure Four. Carlito interferes, and Victoria flips the hold over. She then tags in Carlito who begins to work on Flair's leg. After a single leg crab, Carlito tags in Victoria. Flair tags in Torrie, and the two women begin to fight it out. Flair rolls to the outside, and is ambushed by Carlito. Torrie faceplants Victoria and covers. Carlito interrupts the pin, pulling Torrie off of Victoria. Victoria tags in Carlito, who kisses Torrie, and then hits the Backcracker on Torrie for the win. Flair tends to Torrie as Carlito and Victoria leave.

Your Winners: Carlito and Victoria.

(Match Rating: C. I realize this was a continuation of an existing feud, but this match had a "filler" feeling to it. Introducing Victoria gives her something to do, so that's good, but overall this match left a lot to be desired. Carlito's finisher has been renamed the "Backstabber," and he's successfully getting over as a heel. Disappointing match, but a decent feud going here.)

After a commercial break, the card of One Night Stand is reviewed. It looks like a decent PPV, but thrown together.

In the back, Umaga is yelling at Khali. This is hilarious. Shane shows up and calls them the "Worst Prom-couple ever." Shane tells Umaga to take out Lashley, and Khali to take out Cena. We go to commercial as Umaga and Khali begin talking again.

We come back to Maria doing the Kiss-Cam, but the whole segment is interrupted by Masters, whose new theme song is a remix of his old one, just faster. Masters challenges Santino Marella to break the Masterlock right here, right now. He sets up the chair, and calls out "Mozzarella." Masters says that this might be the last chance to see the Masterlock on Raw, and looks at Maria, hinting that he'll put her in the Masterlock. Awful italian music hits, and Marella hits the ring, attacking Masters. Marella hits some offensive, but eventually Masters hits a shoulderbreaker, and locks in the Masterlock. Santino begins to fight out of it as the crowd cheers on, but eventually he succumbs to the awesome power of Chris Masters.

After a quick commercial break, we're ready for our main event of the evening.

John Cena and Bobby Lashley vs. Shane McMahon, Umaga, and the Great Khali

Umaga starts off hammering Cena, much to the joy of the Toronto crowd. Umaga is doing his usual shtick, but Cena hits a blockbuster to get control. As soon as he does, Umaga hits him with a thumb in the throat, and Umaga throws Cena into the heel corner. Umaga tags in Khali, and Khali begins destroying Cena. The crowd is now split 50/50. Khali tags in Shane, and he begins throwing his foot into Cena's chest. Shane restrains Cena, and tags in Umaga. Umaga throws Cena into the corner and delivers right hands into Cena's face. Cena begins firing back, but Shane cheapshots Cena. Cena falls right into a Samoan drop by Umaga. Umaga gets a two-count, and continues his assault on Cena. Umaga tags in Khali, who delivers a big legdrop on Cena. Khali tags in Shane, who locks in a body scissors and pound Cena on the bak of his head. As Cena tries to struggle out, Shane rakes Cena's eyes. Cena just can't get to Lashley for the tag, but the crowd is going crazy in both ways. Cena picks up Shane finally, and puts Shane into the turnbuckle. Cena with a back suplex on Shane, and both men are down. Shane tags in Umaga, and Cena gets the hot tag on Lashley. Lashley hits a big splash on Umaga, and then hits Umaga with a DDT after a failed suplex. Lashley looks for the spear, but gets caught with a big boot. Umaga made the tag, and Khali attacks Lashley. Both Lashley and Cena now attack Khali trapping him in between the ropes. Umaga pulls out Cena and hits him with the samoan spike. Lashley grabs Shane, but is grabbed by a free Khali. Khali hits the chokeslam on Lashley, and Lashley is out. Shane gets on the top rope, hitting an elbow on Lashley for the win.

Your Winners: Shane, Umaga, and Khali.

Mr. McMahon comes out and congratulates all three men as they pose on the ramp as Raw fades out...

(Match Rating: B-. I was underwhelmed by the faces in this match, but it was entertaining enough. It had the feeling of the Survivor Series '91 finale (Warrior/Hogan/Tito versus 6 guys), albeit with a different ending. Lashley pretty much got the night off, as he did very little. It was nice to see Lashley and Khali face off, as I think that could be a lot of fun. The crowd, as all Canadian crowds seem to be, was a real treat to hear.)


Quick Results:

Michelle McCool won a Diva Battle Royal
The Hardys and Cade and Murdoch def. Nitro, Kenny, and WGTT
Randy Orton def. Rob Van Dam
Carlito and Victoria def. Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson
Shane, Umaga, and Khali def. Lashley and Cena


Overall, a lackluster Raw. The three-brand draft has my attention, but I'm trying not to get excited about it until next week. Two weeks is too much build-up for me, especially coupled with the hype of next week's PPV. Nevertheless, speculation is always fun, so next week I'll publish my predictions. Everyone run to the forums and weigh in what your thoughts are!

Match of the Night: The Hardys, Cade and Murdoch vs. Nitro, Kenny, and WGTT

Final Grade: B-





Next week, we'll see if One Night Stand gives birth to some new champions, and we'll see how the brand draft will be set up, hopefully. Who gets the first pick? Who represents ECW/Raw? What will happen? Tune in next week!

As always, any questions, comments, or concerns should be sent to DonnyAnderson@gmail.com. I read every email, but don't always have time to respond to all of them. I do take all suggestions into account.


In closing, for Memorial Day, thank you to all of those reading this who are in the Armed Services, or those of you who have family in the Armed Services. What you do can never be repaid; our debt is eternal. Thank you, and may God bless all of you today and everyday.

See You next week!








*NEW GALLERY* The WWE Developmental Divas REVEALED! Must See Shots!

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