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Submitted by Boss Foxx on Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 10:24 PM EST
 One wrestling news site reported on May 16 ... “Sabu was scheduled for ECW TV last night, but he arrived at the building looking to be released and walked out of the building with RVD. WWE then announced his release on their website. Sabu was one of many former ECW wrestlers who signed a one-year deal in April 2006 for the re-launch of the ECW brand. Sabu's wife was backstage in Orlando at the Impact tapings snapping pictures. Although RVD is advertised through the One Night Stand PPV on June 3, the word going around Monday in Orlando is that RVD would be free and clear after Tuesday's ECW TV taping in Baltimore.” Another reported on May 17 ... “Wade Keller is reporting that RVD is officially done with WWE as of yesterday. WWE felt that keeping RVD around and burying him on TV was not worth it and it was better to get him off TV as soon as possible. "His contract wasn't going to expire until late June at the earliest but WWE cut that short considering RVD said he would not resign and they had nothing for him until then. "He is expected to sign with TNA after a long deserved summer break, although he may end up back with WWE as the two are still on good terms. Never say never.” And another reported on May 17 ... “While we’re yet to be able to confirm whether or not Van Dam has officially left the company, it’s possible that this week’s edition of ECW was Van Dam’s final appearance for the company, despite having several weeks remaining on his contract.” Remember when I wrote on May 19 ... “The dirt sheets all over are really pushing the rumor that RVD was released this week as well, to the extent that WWE has “benched” him and won’t be using him at all, allowing his current contract to run out. I don’t buy it. Never did. RVD may well be on his way out, but you better believe WWE will job him out huge before he goes. I’ll basically guarantee that his DQ win against Snitsky this past Tuesday will not be his final appearance. Count on it. He’s going to be pinned by someone clean this Tuesday, and my money is on Snitsky. Don’t believe me? Time will tell whether I’m right and the 'reporters' are wrong.” Well, WWE.com’s ECW on Sci Fi preview reported from May 21 ... “On the next ECW on Sci Fi, Punk and Burke will continue their war in tag team competition when Rob Van Dam joins forces with the Straightedge Superstar against the so-called "paragon of virtue" and his New Breed teammate Marcus Cor Von.” I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. But in the wrestling “journalist’s” truest form, they’re back at it again this week. One more wrestling news site reported on May 22 ... “There was a net report last week that RVD was done and given a farewell party. That report was never confirm it and some people in WWE said that it never happened. "He was originally scheduled to finish up his WWE duties at the One Night Stand PPV in two weeks, but WWE is thinking about finishing him up tonight and taking him off of the road for the next month. "Word is there haven't been talks with him and TNA but if WWE takes him off the road it's to get him out of the public eye for the next month.” Why am I not surprised by this kind of reporting. They do it all the time. They pass off some unsubstantiated rumor as news, and when it turns out that they were wrong, they repackage the same crap again a week later. It’s the perfect strategy in a way - just keeping predicting the same thing over and over again until you’re eventually correct. It’s pretty much a given that RVD is not re-signing with WWE now, so these “reporters” are basically trying to pass themselves off as Nostradamus by predicting when we’ll have seen the last of him. I could predict that the Sandman is going to be released today, but I might be wrong. But if I keep predicting it day after day, logic dictates that I’ll have to get it right eventually. That’s basically what these guys are doing with RVD right now, whether they’re coming up with the stuff themselves or just regurgitating what someone else has already written. And since RVD wasn’t pinned on ECW on Sci Fi this week either, guess what ... WWE aren’t done with him yet. At this point, it’s pretty much a lock that RVD will face Snitsky at One Night Stand in his final match with WWE. While the hordes predicted that we’d seen the last of RVD yet again, I told you otherwise. As for this Tuesday, I’ll go on a limb and predict a six-man tag with RVD, Punk, and Dreamer taking on Burke, Cor Von, and Snitsky. It’s just a shot in the dark, but it seems that making those kinds of guesses are the norm in the IWC. Regardless of any involvement RVD may play at One Night Stand, Vince McMahon is in a bit of a bind when it comes to hyping this event and building a card that people will want to see. He’s taken an obvious step by introducing the fact that each match on the card will be contested under “Extreme Rules,” but it’s hard to lift someone’s skirt with a promise like that these days. TNA offers an all “Cage Match” event annually now, and the last one they had was atrocious. So, gimmick matches aren’t going to be enough to hide the fact that WWE is running on auxiliary Superstars right now. I mean, it was bad enough that WWE was working without the Big Show, Rey Mysterio, Triple H, and whoever else was injured (or gone) through the winter and spring. Then they end up losing King Booker, the Undertaker, and Mr. Kennedy. Now, they can add Shawn Michaels to the list of marquee names that are on the injured list. Take into consideration that Kane is rumored to be working hurt, RVD is leaving in June, Randy Orton is almost due to shit in someone’s purse again, Edge seems to be losing muscle tone month by month causing me to wonder if he’s working hurt again, and then Batista and Mark Henry are about as injury prone as is humanly possible ... take into consideration all of that, and the WWE’s main event is being held together by duct tape and bailing twine right now. Hell, now that I think about it, is it any wonder why the Great Khali is getting his main event push right now? He’s the only Superstar healthy right now that hasn’t already been buried by John Cena. Speaking of buried, what the hell was with their match at Judgment Day? Maybe I’m jumping the gun here, but it really felt like they dropped the ball on where to take that match and this feud between Cena and Khali. It pains me to write about this on account of my unadulterated loathing of the Great Khali, but since WWE insists on using him right now in the main event I think they should at least use him correctly. The way I see it, we saw the Great Khali come out of nowhere to demolish HBK, Edge, and Randy Orton just to get his shot at the WWE Champion. An unstoppable giant that has basically run roughshod over every single wrestler he’s faced, including beating the Undertake clean one year prior (and only one loss in a Last Man Standing match). He’s never been pinned, he’s never tapped out, and he’s rarely been knocked off his feet. He marches to the ring and basically destroys John Cena in a matter of a minute or two to announce his intentions. After that, he goes one step further and steals the WWE title belt from John Cena and carries it around as if it were his own already ... even mocking Cena to come take it from him. Cena’s intimidated and a clear underdog heading into their PPV match. The match quality is sure to be in the toilet, but the storytelling is at least respectable as we head towards Judgment Day. Then the moment we dread finally arrives, and Khali gets his main event PPV match. And what does WWE do? They make him tap like a bitch after knocking Cena pillar to post for fifteen minutes. What the fuck kind of horseshit booking is that? We sat through over a year of Khali stomping to the ring and walking over every WWE Superstar with ease, only to see him tap out within a couple minutes of being put on the defensive. And Cena gets his belt back as if he never lost custody of it in the first place. Really? Is that how you polish this turd, Vince? The potential booking for this feud was so simplistic that it was near flawless. Khali’s an imposing and arrogant wrestler with a belt that doesn’t belong to him, Cena’s the fighting champion who seems to have finally met his match against a man who can dominate him with seemingly little effort. The match happens and Khali is all over Cena throughout most of the match, with Cena periodically making comebacks. Cena actually starts to get the upper hand at one moment, but Khali cuts him off on the outside and looks to finish Cena off with a giant chokeslam on the announce desk (just as he had weeks earlier to HBK). Cena fights out of it though and sends Khali reeling. Realizing that he’s running out of tactical options, Cena grabs the WWE title and smashes Khali up side his skull with it. From here, either Cena is disqualified for his actions or he rolls back into the ring in time for Khali to be counted out. This salvages both characters and prompts for a return match at One Night Stand. Sure, I’m not paying to see the rematch any more than for the first match (I didn’t pay to see the first match, by the way). WWE is proceeding with the storyline, so they may as well do it right. However, they’ve opted to job out Khali and give the rematch this “Falls Count Anywhere” gimmick because Khali says he can beat Cena anywhere ... even though he couldn’t even beat him at Judgment Day, opting instead to tap out like a cheap whore. Crap booking for a crap match. I’m done with this feud. And wouldn’t you know that while WWE marks are scrambling to make excuses for the Cena/Khali feud, TNA marks are jumping up and down as if they’ve got something to brag about. Sorry, boys and girls, but TNA is heading into Slammiversary with one of the most convoluted clusterfucks of them all as the main event - King Of The Mountain. I have never liked that match. It’s one thing to have a reverse ladder match, and make the wrestlers compete to hang their jockstraps on the clothesline ... or hang the title belt on a hook, or whatever it is they do. It’s another to make it a fatal “fiveway” match, which is like a fatal fourway but with a fifth wheel.. Then they make it so that in order to even be allowed to attempt a climb up the ladder you have to pin one of your four opponents first. Then whoever you pin ends up in a friggin’ penalty box for two minutes. It’s one of the most ridiculous god damn match gimmicks I’ve ever been witness to ... and that’s saying something when you consider I’ve seen some screwy matches over the years. The two competitors so far are Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle. That’s fine, I guess. They’re both immensely popular with fans, though I question their prowess in ladder matches (no matter if they are in reverse or not). We’ve still got three more to qualify, and we should learn who they are this week with the next batch of Impact tapings - Maybe Stomper the Kangaroo will feed me some spoiler info, so that LoP can get the scoop. I’m not sure who the three will be exactly, but I think Christian Cage is a pretty safe bet considering he lost the title at Sacrifice. AJ Styles is another good pick, as he is at least sure to be a spot monkey for the match ... and spots will be needed to keep anyone’s attention in this kind of a match. The third spot is most likely going to ol’ Double J himself, Jeff Jarrett. Now, a lot of wrestling fans might be walking on egg shells right now when they consider criticizing Jeff Jarrett’s involvement in TNA right now, on account of the tragic loss of his wife. Granted, it’s a horrible time personally speaking for Double J, but I’m not going to tip-toe around anything here. Jeff Jarrett shouldn’t even be within a hundred yards of the TNA title, the main event, or King Of The Mountain. Just keep the “Chosen One” off my television screen for all I care. Point blank, Jarrett has won every single KOTM match he’s ever participated in, and he’s participated in all but one. And rumor has it that he didn’t take part in that one because he wasn’t slated to win it, Raven was. A bit shallow in the reasoning department, yes, but I wouldn’t put it past him. This is a guy that has had a pivotal role in the creative direction of TNA and always manages to find a way to make himself the center of attention. As much as I come down of TNA for sagging creatively, they’ve at least been kind enough to allow me six blessed months of Jarrett-free television, and I’ll thank them for that right now. Jeff Jarrett has been wanting to become TNA’s top babyface for some time supposedly, and this year he’s finally got his chance. Those Orlando rubes have finally allowed amnesia to set in - maybe it’s just the onset of Alzheimer’s - and are cheering Jarrett as loudly as when they booed him out of the building when he last won the NWA World title. Frankly, I think making TNA fans cheer for you is an easy task, as evidenced by their unwavering love for Lance “Test Lite” Hoyt. I guess they just don’t remember that when Jarrett was actively involved in storylines before his hiatus, he basically made Impact the “Jeff Jarrett Variety Hour.” Fans come down on Triple H plenty for his involvement, but at least he has the good sense to step out of the top spot for more than six months. That’s something I don’t think Jarrett has the ability to do. I think he’s starting to get the shakes like an alcoholic who’s gone too long since his last pint. If Jeff Jarrett wins the TNA World title, and I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that he will, I will have no problem pointing the finger of blame squarely where it belongs ... the TNA fans. Oh yeah, you read that right. TNA fans are one of, if not, the biggest problems going on with TNA right now. After ECW and WCW got shut down in early 2001, I was hoping against hope that there would be some way for someone to give Vince McMahon another run for his money. It didn’t have to be another Monday Night War, but just something to serve as an alternative to WWE. TNA is what we got. At first, it seems really hickish thanks to it being based in Nashville and Jeff Jarrett at the top of the food chain. It wasn’t great, but it was enough ... and the potential was there to really shake things up over time if they could keep their heads on straight. The TNA fans are so mind numbingly markish for the promotion though, they’ll cheer on literally anything that comes down the pipe. Sharkboy, Lance Hoyt, Ron Killings, Voodoo Kin Mafia, and a plethora of crap that has come along. But Jeff Jarrett takes the cake with those fans. They smartened up it seemed in 2006 when they caught up with the other wrestling fans of the world and started rejecting Jarrett taking up so much screen time when far more appealing wrestlers were being overlooked or just booked to put over Double J. When the fans bombarded the ring with debris after Jarrett won the KOTM last year, I thought they finally saw through the fact that Jarrett was never letting go of the top spot. Then after laying down for Sting and taking time off, I was shocked. It was too good to be true. Jarrett was actually relinquishing his stranglehold as the “top draw” for TNA. He’d turned over a new leaf. I was wrong. I found out later that he was taking a step back from hogging the spotlight because his wife was battling cancer. Fuck, I thought. The only thing that managed to get Jeff Jarrett off my screen for any amount of time was a tragic illness in his family, and that sucked in two ways. 1) Jarrett’s wife was in a fight for her young life and that’s something no one should ever have to go through no matter who you are; and 2) Jeff Jarrett hadn’t turned over a new leaf at all professionally and it was only a matter of time before he’d be back. Now he really is back and I fear these TNA fans are going to cheer Jarrett out of sympathy and pity rather than genuinely rooting for him to succeed as an on-air character again. Even worse, I fear that a tragic death of someone gone too soon will used as part of a storyline in order to get someone else over as a fan favorite. Eddie Guerrero’s name being invoked ad nauseum last year was torturous enough, but TNA may actually out do them in that department. I really hope I’m wrong. I truly do. The fact remains, however, that Jeff Jarrett is still the same wrestler that he was when he left. He’s the “King of the Mountain” and if ends up in that match at Slammiversary, it’s going to be deja vu all over again. And whose fault will it be? The TNA fans will have to look in the mirror and realize that they are a contributing factor in the stagnation and deterioration of what might have been a great wrestling promotion. They are served crap on a near weekly basis, yet lap it up and call it ice cream ... all while pointing and laughing at WWE loyalists for blindly standing behind a product that fails to live up to it’s full potential, in a bit of irony that is certainly not lost by yours truly. You may point and laugh and think a man a fool for standing idly by in a burning building like WWE, but how foolish are you when you’re doing that from inside the garage that’s also on fire? Well, that’s enough ranting for one night. Any questions, comments, or death threats can be sent to bossfoxx@gmail.com or you can post some feedback in the LoP Forums. In the meantime, I’d like to mention that the main page has some new faces you should check out. Degenerate, Sheepster, and El Dandy have joined us here as columnists. Well deserved promotions to the main page, I might add. Each brings their own unique flavor of writing, and don’t be surprised if there are a couple more new faces to hit LoP within the next couple of weeks. Until next week, I’ll leave you with what so many of you clicked onto this column to see in the first place ... your moment of Zen.  Maybe if Ultimate Warrior went for a bike ride with Iron Sheik, they could patch things up.
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