Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - A completely honest column... apparently
Submitted by Pt2 on Wednesday, May 23, 2007 at 3:16 AM EST





Welcome once again to the column that denies physics, chemistry and biology and hits you straight between the ribs with a dose of jericohol, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man, back from the breeches of the dead to declare war on all those that hate everything that is right and good in the world of Professional Wrestling, and I intend to start doing it… now.

Before I do though, congratulations are in order to LOP's newest round of call ups. For those about to call themselves Sheepster and Degenerate, we salute you.

My primary topic for this column is… Hulk Hogan. So if you don’t like him, leave now. Right now. He’s all that is going on here, and you won’t get another chance.

You gone?

Good.

He isn’t coming back to WWE, as far as we can tell. I for one, even as something of a Hogan mark, think this is a good thing. Hogan is years past his prime, and now, when it comes to WWE audiences, he is reaching the point where he is pushing his nostalgia prime. Don’t understand what that means? Book Don Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka 10 weeks running. The week it begins to get boring, tell me. You’ll be onto something as regards things getting boring in the world of pro wrestling.

But lets be fair, who would he wrestle in the WWE these days? Edge? Cena? You’ve got to be kidding me. These matches would only be slightly more interesting than the match that he had with Randy Orton is his last WWE PPV. The fact remains, that barring him losing, as I can imagine he would only do for Steve Austin, Hogan actually has nothing more than Nostalgia value to offer the WWE.


So what can he offer the second tier of wrestling in America?

Name value, and very little else.

I am literally, looking at the TNA roster as I speak, and as far as TNA are concerned, Hogan is literally a no brainer; you leave him alone. Barring a one on one contest between Hogan and Angle, there is nothing else that could even begin to interest anyone in the whole roster; does anyone want to see Hogan bury Christopher Daniels? Or AJ Styles, or Chris Sabin? The fact is that TNA is the wrong roster for Hulk Hogan. He will not spark the nWo again in TNA, he will create a situation in which and old man with Dodgy knees is taking away time from those who can make a name for themselves. And to, his credit, Hulk Hogan has acknowledged this.

Yes, Hogan has acknowledged that being in TNA is a bad idea. I can only assume he means for himself and the company.

Hogan isn’t retiring though… not by a long chalk! For those of you who think that wrestling ends in North America, think again! We’re running through Hogan’s potential opponents in Japan! Yes, the rumour is that he will fight under the banner of Antonia Inoki!

First up, is the rumour that he will fight Brazilian MMA southpaw Lyoto Machida. I’m guessing this will be a wresting match. An MMA contest would be embarrassing, considering Hogan’s edge and physical condition. Machida is undefeated in MMA competition, representing an obstacle to overcome for Hogan’s pro wrestling media train.

Rumour has it, that he could face another Inoki MMA competitor. Again, considering Hogan’s age, the assumption must be that the contest will be a pro wrestling bout. This time, the idea is that he will face Tadao Yasuda. He has a record of 2-4-0 in MMA, and as someone who has competed on Inoki cards in the past, is a strong possibility were Hogan to compete on an Inoki card in the future.

The other options are much more in the wrestling domain. Brock Lesnar has been touted as an opponent, but with his further transition towards MMA, and his disdain for the Pro wrestling schedule, that makes it more and more unlikely. Brock Lesnar is likely to try and accept Royce Gracie’s training and make a name for himself in MMA rather than put himself back into a sport that he has, in his mind, left behind.

That leaves two big choices for Hogan.

Kurt Angle is one. The big problem is that he is under TNA contract, a company that he has decided against working for. Ultimately to make that match happen, Hogan has to do a deal to appear on TNA Programming – a deal that could make TNA Major league, and would certainly end any lingering association Hogan may have with the WWE.

Alternatively, there is a Hogan vs. Paul Wight match. Paul claims that the Big Show is a disparaging name and that he is not to be known by that ring-name any longer. Until I hear otherwise, I will respect that. Ultimately, this is probably not a terrible choice. Paul Wight has wrestled Hulk Hogan several times before, and given a good account of himself in those matches. For a big wrestler, he has acquitted himself in matches against Hulk Hogan.

He is not my choice. Frankly, I believe that Hogan’s next match will take place in Japan. Many of Hogan’s most memorable matches have happened in Japan, against Japanese opponents. I’d hope for some more. I hope that Lyoto Machida, the undefeated MMA specialist with wins over Rich Franklin (on an Inoki card) and Vernon White, can come to a deal to wrestle Hogan. Otherwise, I must go on the record and say…. Out of the available options, when you consider the practicalities of each, I like the idea of another Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Wight contest. Sure, it may be old news here… but they love it out in Japan, and that means that for the show offs, it’ll be a classic here, in two years time.


Short? About a thousand words. My apologies, It would be longer, but I am in the middle of quite the hectic period. Feedback can be addressed to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com and I will endeavour to reply to all mail received, as time permits.

Until then,

Keeping loving our sport of kings,

Pt2.









She's Doing It AGAIN! Must See New Karen Angle Shots!

• Quick Links -
  [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]