ECW Results (05/01/07)
Submitted by Lunchbox on Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 1:43 AM EST





For the fans of the Original ECW, and of The Lunch Report that read this weekly, please make sure to read the bottom after the entire recap. A big note from me.

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Video package of the 3-on-1 Handicap match at Backlash.

Bobby Lashley comes to the ring and says that Mr. McMahon finally got revenge, and he's the ECW World Champion. Outside of the McMahon family, he doesn't think there's a person happy about this. The ECW fans aren't nappy, the ECW Originals aren't happy and he damn well isn't happy. However, he has a way of making this all better. He will give Mr. McMahon a beating of his lifetime. He doesn't care if he has an injured shoulder or not, he wants a rematch right here, and right now. Cue Armando. Everybody listen, to him!

He says Lashley doesn't deserve to come out here and demand anything. He's not going to allow him to come out here and ruin this special night. It's because of him that Mr. McMahon got his head shaved, and it's because of him that Armando is in a wheelchair right now. Before Vince gets here tonight, he's supposed to deliver a special message. Lashley will get a rematch, but it's not tonight. However, he has been authorized to tell Lashley that unless he's physically provoked he can't touch Vince, Shane or Umaga. (Does that mean he can touch Armando?)

Lashley comes out of the ring and down to Armando. He tells him to say it again. He repeats, he can't touch Vince, Shane or Umaga. Or he'll forfeit his rematch. Bobby said he can't touch them, but what's Armando's name? His name Es Armando....He cuts off because he just realized why Bobby asked. Bobby asks the fans if they want Armando in the ring, they cheer. Lashley turns the wheelchair and runs it into the steel steps sending Armando flying over it.
(Eval- Predictable, yet entertaining enough. I like both these guys, Armando saved it though. Only problem is, this means that this feud and storyline will keep going. Rating- *)

Commercial.

The New Breed is backstage. Burke says that Punk set them up. He never meant to motivate them, and Burke deserves an apology. CM Punk turned his back on The New Breed. So tonight, they follow his lead.

CM Punk comes down to the ring, followed by New Breed. Burke says that Punk used New Breed and Burke for his own personal goals. So tonight, right now, he's going to fight. He's going to fight Thorn.

CM Punk v. Kevin Thorn
Lock up, back elbow by Thorn. Thorn off the ropes, drop-kick by Punk. Thorn dominates Punk into the corner, boots and fists send Punk to the outside apron. Thorn grabs his arm and yanks him back, causing his neck to bounce off the middle rope. Pulling Punk into the middle of the ring, Thorn applied a sleeper hold. Punk fights back, elbows to Thorn's midsection. Series of missed clotheslines before Punk's caught by Thorn and slammed down.

Thorn up top, coming back down by Punk gets his knees up. Offense by Punk sends multiple fists into Thorn, back kick. Go To Sleep! 1-2-3. The New Breed go backstage and Punk begs for them to come back out.
(Eval- Backstage promo wasn't needed, New Breed coming out and announcing Punk was fighting Thorn, also not needed. The match was okay for the two minutes or so it lasted. Rating- All together *)

Video is shown of the ECW Originals speaking about Vince winning the title.

Commercial.

Extreme Expose dances to Warrant's Cherry Pie.
(Eval- They just ruined a great song. The choreography was off, per usual. Sigh. Rating- n/a)

Backstage The New Breed is confronted by Thorn. He asks where they were. They said they watched him get beat by CM Punk. Thorn has no right to come back here question anything. Burke says anyone in The New Breed could have beaten Punk. Thorn tells him to shut up, as far as The New Breed is concerned, he quits.
(Eval- Thorn doesn't need a stable, he's a stable within himself. Good for Thorn. Rating- *)

Another video is shown of The Originals' views of Vince, this one was in more detail. Sandman said that now that Vince has urinated on ECW, he's gotten his wish, now it's time for him to live with it. Dreamer said ECW is the only thing he believed in, now he doesn't know what he believes in. RVD said that ECW died when Vince won, and all Sabu did was throw ladders around a hallway.
(Eval- I don't care if this angle is scripted or they're letting the Originals speak their mind. What I do care about, is the fact I agree with all of them. ECW died because of Vince McMahon. Rating- ***** just on principle.)

Commercial.

Matt Striker & Marcus Cor Von v. The Majors Brothers
Striker and one of them lock up, he flips around but Striker yanks him down by his hair. Striker off the ropes, he catches him with an arm drag takedown. Tag made, other guy in, trade a few blows. Alpha Male tagged in, but can't get in, the Major Brother knocks him down. Cor Von pulls him out and throws him against the ring, then back in. Military Press into a fall away slam. Two count broken up. Scoop slam by Cor Von, multiple forearms to the guy's face. Sleeper hold by Cor Von, stand up, but Cor Von's able to dominate an d send him into the corner. Cor Von misses the shoulder, tag to Striker and the other brother. Brother off the ropes, clothesline, another clothesline. Striker off the ropes, flapjack, two count broken up by Cor Von. Double team but the brother pulls a sunset flip on Striker, two count. Striker with boots to one of the brothers. Sent into the corner, springboard off the middle rope, cross body block. 1-2-3. The Major Brothers win!

Post-match Burke and Striker argue on the outside. Striker tries to say it was a fast count. Burke says he made him and brought him into the New Breed. Striker makes him sick. Striker walks away looking disappointed.
(Eval- An annoying match to try and recap, because the two brothers look exactly alike, and nobody made note of who was who, not even Joey or Tazz. Sorry for the sloppy reporting on that one. Rating- 1/2 *)

Video is shown of RVD's match with Umaga last night.

Commercial.

Vince comes to the ring wearing his do rag and mocking his own walk with a goofy swagger. Vince says he thinks he's about to do something he might regret, which he has never really done. For the first time in his life he's going to expose himself. So excuse him while he whips this out. He unbuttons his jacket and shows the ECW Title. He asks what they think of their new champ. Joey Styles says he reserves comment. Vince says Bobby has said some horrible things about him. He'll defend his title, but when and where he decides. Bobby's not the only one upset, The Originals are too. It's easy to say something behind somebody's back, little more difficult man to man. Let's see if The Originals have the gumption to come out and look him in the eyes and say what they truly feel.

The Originals come to the ring. Vince asks RVD man to man, what's he got? RVD says he killed ECW, him wearing the belt is a mockery to everything they stand for. They know what it takes to be that man. Vince says he's damn right, and he's that man. He goes to Sabu. Sabu doesn't say anything. Down to Sandman, Vince asks him what that smell is. Sandman holds up three fingers and says if he's so smart, to read between the lines. Before we get Dreamer's comments, Vince points out his golden boots. He says they're fly. Dreamer says he thinks he brought back ECW in his image? The fans demanded ECW come back, not him. His name might be on his paycheck, but the fans there and the ones at home pay his salary. They know about the spirit of ECW. Vince says they all seem worked up. Talk is cheap, which one has the guts to take him on. One on one.

RVD raises his arms, but all four of them are saying they want a piece. Vince says he'll have to choose. He looks at Sabu and says he doesn't know about that suicidal thing. He doesn't mess with drunkards and to dream on Tommy Dreamer. He comes back to RVD and asks him if he wants it. He says he's R-V-D. The Originals will compete tonight, and the winner will take on Vince next week. It's going to be a Four Way Dance. Vince demands a ref. Vince says before the match begins, in his own image, this will be an Extreme Rules Match.
(Eval- ... For the love of Christ .. all four of these guys need to give Vince and finger and quit. Rating- ***** By The Originals, n/a by the entire angle.)

Commercial.

Tommy Dreamer v. Sabu v. Sandman v. RVD
RVD poses for the crowd but Sabu with a roll up, one count. Sabu poses, Sandman with a pin, one count. RVD with a standing switch on Dreamer. Sabu off the ropes, sunset flip on Sandman, one count broken up by RVD. Sandman drop-kicks Sabu and RVD to the outside. Dreamer up top, cross body block on Sandman. Hands upon hands meet Sandman.

On the outside RVD sends weapons into the ring. Chair shot to Dreamer. RVD slides in, chair on dreamer, ROLLING THUNDER with Sabu with a springboard leg drop! Sabu off the ropes, leg drop on RVD. Sandman with a one count on Sabu. Dreamer with a trash can to Sandman. Sandman on the ropes, Dreamer off the opposite side, clothesline sends Sandman outside. Dreamer dropped across the barricade. Baseball slide by RVD to Sandman. Sabu sets up a chair, off the ropes, springboard sends RVD over the top and to the outside.

Back in the ring, Sandman hits Dreamer with a bulldog onto a trash can. Two count. Sandman climbs the ropes, Dreamer with a trash can to his lower back, racking him on the ropes. Dreamer goes outside, Vince hands him a chair. Sandman placed in the tree of woe, chair to his face. Dreamer from the corner, hesitation drop-kick! Dreamer turns around, drop-kick by Sabu. Arabian Facebuster on Dreamer! RVD picks up Sabu, back suplex. Two count. RVD with a chair to Sandman, then Van Dam-inator! Dreamer piledrives RVD, Sandman with a cane shot to Dreamer. Sabu with a chair shot to Sandman. Triple Jump Moonsault by Sabu on Sandman, two count!

Sabu outside, grabbing a table and sliding it in. Sabu sets up the table and grabs Sandman. Sandman placed on the table. Sabu up top but Dreamer rights him. Both men up top, Dreamer hits a vertical suplex on Sabu onto Sandman on the table!! RVD up top, FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH, THREE COUNT ON SANDMAN!
(Eval- Beautiful match, although you could tell that these four men were not giving it their all. I understand, they didn't want to damage one another when forced into this match. I say the only reason RVD won is Vince is still trying to secure him from going to TNA. Rating- **)

Final Analysis- The only good thing about this show was we saw a really good match by The Originals. It lacked and is really taking the fans out of it. The crowd was dead. Sigh. 3/10.

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After seeing Vince McMahon win the ECW title, and now seeing this week's show, I have come to a final decision. I will not be reporting ECW any longer. I may take this too seriously, or perhaps I'm the only one that thinks this way, but all of this saddens me.

The blood, sweat, tears, emotions, pain and sacrifice that the original ECW roster put into this business means a whole hell of a lot more than anything Vince McMahon can pay. I know everything that was said tonight by them was from the heart. I know Joey's reactions to certain things were also disgust.

It pains me to see these men, week in and week out, have to do something they're not loving, for whatever reason. Whether they can't get hired somewhere else, or whether they're afraid of leaving the safety net that Vince's money has created. I don't know, I just wish they'd get out.

ECW reports will probably be taken over by the new guy Jason that brought you the Backlash PPV results. If not, I know someone will be doing it. I'll continue to write TNA, trust me. Thanks for reading this every week, and sorry if this comes as disappointment to anyone.

Goodnight folks.

Lunchbox
thelunchreport@columbus.rr.com








*NEW GALLERY* Very HOT and Up Close Shots of the WWE Divas! WOW!

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