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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Monday, April 9, 2007 at 9:56 AM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – The Last Word On Wrestlemania 23 So, there I was at work, and feeling down. Man, you miss two weeks, and it seems like everyone is saying I’m done. Over. Out. Why? Why do I keep doing this? I’ve got a good legacy. I’ve written over 250 columns. I’ve even done a few audio shows. I hit the wall, and got back up, and for what? What am I doing with my life? Maybe I should just hang it up. And that’s when I heard the voice. “Wevv!” Who said that? And then I saw him, floating in a haze of red and yellow above me. “Brother, let me tell you Wevv Mang, people said I was over and done! They said I would never main event another big show again. They said I was gone for good when WCW folded. They said I was over when I did the job to Undertaker. They said I was finished when I put the mask on as Mr. America. But let me tell you brother, Hulkamania will never die! And I came back! Don't give up, brother! You keep doing what you do!” But Hulkster – “Don't “But Hulkster!” me! I believe in you brother! And all the Hulkamaniacs around the world are counting on you!” Really? ‘They need some one to keep the faith! And you’re the only one willing to stand up for what they believe in! They need you Wevv! And you still got it! You keep writing, and who knows? Maybe someday, you too could accomplish the dream!” You mean? “Thanks right brother, you too could pin Shawn Michaels in the middle of the ring. 1. 2.3” Wow. Man, that would be sweet. Thanks Hulkster! “No problem brother. And remember – “ I know, say my prayers, and take my vitamins. "That too. But I was going to say that you can buy my Hulk Hogan Ultimate grills for 3 low, low payments of $49.99” Uh, no thanks, I got a George Foreman grill. “Damn. Well, how about stocking the soda machine with Socko Energy Drink?” We have a company that does that, but I’ll make a request. “Thanks brother. Well, I gotta go. My agent has booked me to appear on grilled cheese sandwich in Memphis. To help promote my match with Jerry “The King” Lawler. Good luck Hulk! "Brother, luck has nothing to do with it” And with that, he was gone. My heart was filled with peace and contentment. I will keep writing. And someday, I WILL pin Shawn Michaels. And then reality intruded. “Um, excuse me. Is there something wrong with the air-conditioning? “No, sorry sir. I thought I felt a drip. Will that be all for you today? Ah, Perverts Of the Caribbean, The Secret Of the Black Pearls. Good choice. You want to know what the secret is?” “It’s not a dude is it? I thought I was in the right section…” “No sir! This is straight. No, the secret is, and I’m not really spoiling anything, you find out in the first five minutes, is that the Black Pearls are black Ben Wa balls, and the perverts have them stuffed up their…” Greetings! And welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! I’m back, on my usual day and hopefully, right on time! There’s plenty of wrestling news to talk about, so let’s get right into it. Wrestlemania 23 Full recap can be found here, courtesy of Chad Matthews Over three hours of wrestling, long matches, with a few shorter, change of paces matches thrown in. Some big spots, and lots of spectacle. WWE put long term angles in play and I think it made a world of difference. You got what you paid for. The matches got the attention they deserved. The skits were enjoyable. Even the Vince and Stephanie one, if only for the fact that it was a traditional Steph skit. Meaning, it was overplayed, creepy, and made me laugh. Come on, Vince telling his infant granddaughter what he’s going to do to Trump, in that evil Vince voice? That’s comedy. Unintentional comedy, but still comedy. The Cryme Tyme Block party? That was fun. Hell, even Shane O’Mac got to show up and he can STILL do the Vanterminator, in jeans no less. Trump no selling Boogeyman? Classic. All the matches that didn't feel that special, like Kane vs Khali got enough time to tell their story and get the F out. The chick match had all the Divas at ringside, and they looked good. The match itself was solid and Melina won, which was the right call to make. MVP vs Benoit, which I thought was an underplayed angle, surpassed my expectations. The “Big” angles got plenty of time, and did their job. Which was to either wrap up angles, start new ones, or breathe life into the ones that were to be kept going. The last one was HBK and Cena. That angle has been going on for months, and was dying out at the end. But on Raw, it showed new signs of life. Taker and Batista saw a title change hands, and that can lead to some interesting feuds, especially now that Kennedy has the Money In The Bank. Vince got his head shaved. Basically, Wrestlemania 23 didn't disappoint. Was it the greatest Wrestlemania of all time? No. But it was much better than last years. When it was over, I didn't feel like I had wasted my money. I felt like I had seen a good show. And that’s all I was really looking for. Considering that it costs $50, and expectations for it being a Wrestlemania, and with the long angle build-ups, that’s not an easy task to achieve. Some other thoughts about the show: I saw some articles about the set up for this show. Looking at the show, you can tell that a lot of work was involved in building that sucker. It was huge. Apparently, it was the biggest set that WWE has ever had built. The show as in a stadium, and that played a big role. If I remember correctly, Raw takes about 14 hours to set up, while the set for Wrestlemania took a week and hundreds of people. And next year, Wrestlemania will be in an open air stadium. That’s a whole new challenge. Right off the bat, there’s no roof to hang lights from, and all the cables will have to be run in. Better start planning it now, because that’s going to be a bitch to put together, if WWE wants to top what they did this year. The Hall Of Fame was also pretty good I thought. It may not have had the big name star power, but all the inductees seemed important. JR was the surprise superstar. I would say that King stole the show, however. His line about the billionaires running their fingers through their hair was classic. USA or the WWE production team, however, made the show seemed rushed, as in jump cut edits, and chopping off parts of the speeches. It was a rush job, true, but a little more attention to detail couldn't have hurt. Heck, it could have aired Sunday as a prequel to Wrestlemania if more time was really needed, and that could have also served the purpose of being a last minute promotional tool for the PPV. Final thoughts on WM23: A lot of effort was put into making this show special. The video packages, which, by the way, the Stone Cold one? Yeah, a kid chugging milk, just made me think that somewhere, some parent just gave their kid a beer, to “do it right”. That, or some kid snuck into their parent’s fridge and grabbed a six-pack. Anyway, the videos were well done. The graphics were excellent. The set looked amazing. The crowd seemed pumped. The angles were well written. For the biggest show of the year, one thing WWE does very well, is make Wrestlemania seem special. And I would say that they succeed. One last thing. ATTENTION HBK FANS! JOHN CENA, STILL MORE POPULAR THAN HBK. THAT IS ALL. - Well, according to the poll run on WWE, anyway. Raw Full Recap Info can be found at this link, provided by Chad Matthews The show started off with a promo by Cena and HBK. Is HBK heel? You know what, it’s kind of hard to tell. Being pissed off is not just a heel trademark. Cena and HBK, still tag champions, get to face off against ten other tag teams. Ten Team Battle Royal Cena and HBK win. Then they get to face off against another ten tag teams. This time, they lose. Because HBK eliminated Cena. Not really a series of squash matches, but if you think too much about it, it could be said that it took 20 guys to get the belts off HBK and Cena. And the only team that could beat them, was themselves. Yet, it wasn’t really a bad kind of squash. Teams got thrown together, true, but if WWE is serious about putting the tag division back together, well, the Hardys did win the belt, and teams need to be put together to face off against them. Sure, there are tag teams already in place, but more couldn't hurt. And hey, everyone that wasn’t one the WM card got on TV as well. Timbaland That dude was hammered. I guess he was trying to out party Ric and well, better men have tried. And Failed. Don't mess with Ric. HBK Speaks Very quasi-heel promo from HBK. He’s tired of losing. Well, I’m pretty sure he isn't tired of his 1.5 million dollar a year contract. HBK wants to prove he’s the better man. Orton showed up. Interesting. The title chase now has three people. Vince the Bald Nice skit of Vince getting ready to head to the ring. Ron Simmons is a classic. Vince gets to the ring, and speaks. He’s wearing a Bing Crosby hat. WE also got a match. Umaga vs Lashley. Vince keeps on talking. Hey, he shaved his head. He’s allowed. That and he own the damn company. He doesn't reveal the real reason he shaved his head, which was to show empathy with Britney Spears. Federline vs Cena II, it’s in the works. This time, Britney will be there. It’s not like the press from working with WWE will hurt her career. She’s doing that on her own. Lashley comes out, and rips the hat off Vince’s head. End of segment. Yeah, this angle really isn't helping Lashley, but I wouldn't say it’s hurting either. And on an interesting note. Vince tries to hide under Lillian’s skirt, and Lashley ripped it off Lillian. And Lillian became one of the most searched names on the net. There were a lot of skits. And more Timbaland. Ashley will be in his video. Melina and Mickie had a tussle. Vince yelled at Armando. Jeff and Matt spoke about winning the tag team championship. Mick Foley said something about Make A Wish. Edge spoke. I’m amazed he was even standing. Jeff Hardy landing on your pelvis from a great height, while laying on a ladder, that bent, can't be good for you. Edge wants a shot at the Heavyweight title. And then there were four. And that’s a good number. Edge, Orton, HBK and Cena, all trying to get (or hold) the belt. That’s some quality talent right there. It also puts emphasis and some great motivation for Orton and Edge’s feud. Umaga vs Lashley Lashley won. Not as good as their WM match, which, to be honest, wasn’t that good either. It was solid, but not that great. All in all, I thought it was a very good post WM Raw. Raw has a lot of angles in play, and this new direction for HBK is damn good. He’s not quite a heel, and not quite a face. In fact, I would say it all depends on who you talk to. HBK’s promos make him a face to his fans. See, they can’t be happy that he lost to Cena, and then top that off with the lingering bitterness over Hogan (Which I think HBK still feels himself, “brother”) that flared up due to Hogan trying to get on the WM card, and well, HBK has a point. Cena did get booed at the start of the show, but with Cena, well, he gets booed frequently when he comes out. Oh, when he wins, it’s all cheers, but when he comes out, it’s a different story. So, it could be said, that if HBK is a quasi-heel, that Cena could be a quasi face, and the debate can begin again over whether to turn Cena heel, or leave him face. Which raises the question of could Cena turn heel? Well, turning Cena heel isn't that hard, as all it would take is one heel promo from Cena. So, let me rephrase that. SHOULD Cena turn full-blown heel? He still has tons of marketing potential, and Cena does have a lot of young fans. Cena is also a promotional workhorse, and trying to make the publicity rounds as a heel could be a stretch, as he would have to explain himself, and that could ruin the whole heel turn. Much like Goldberg, when he turned heel. Goldberg had to keep telling people he was just playing a role. Mainly that was Goldberg’s choice to do so, but Cena does have a longer history of being a face, and the general media knows him better in that role. I would say it all really depends on what HBK wants to do. He could turn full-blown heel tonight. But I do like this HBK. The guy can act, and it’s about time for a true tweener. Trying to copy Austin for so many years, and getting a luke warm result has run it’s course. ECW Full recap results can be found here, courtesy of Lunchbox There’s one big problem facing ECW, though WWE seems to be working hard to correct it. That problem is a lack of star power on ECW. It’s been said before, but now, it’s a bigger issue. Lashley has no one he can face as an equal. Coming off a huge angle, that got a ton of media coverage, that angle being McMahon vs Trump, Lashley needs a name to square off against. ECW does have names, but those names are Rob Van Dam and CM Punk. Punk’s appeal is still not great enough for him to considered an equal when it comes to a match. Wrestling ability-wise, perhaps. But name-wise? No, at least, not yet. RVD could be the man for Lashley. But it will take some angle tinkering. And building, and there may not be enough time to put it all together. Lashley needs some one now. He could keep facing opponents from Raw or Smackdown, but the key is to have the big matches on ECW. ECW is working to correct the problem and the New Blood angle is working, but it’s do so slowly. Which is for the better. They’re not ready yet, and the longer they have to grow, the better they will be down the road. It’s building for the future, say, WWE One Night Stand, which is months away. CM Punk is part of that angle, and it’s better for him. He did well in ROH, and in OVW, but WWE is a different animal. He got the straight shot promos down, but now, he needs to learn how to play with others. He shows promise. But then again, Punk needs names to work against, and that’s where the New Breed comes in. They have talent, but need the name recognition factor as well. It’s cyclical, but it has to start somewhere, and hopefully, all come out of it better than they went in. RVD and Timbaland Just can't help playing with fire, can you WWE? Is this dude ever sober? I guess dealing with the wrestling world is hard enough to cause a rap star to drink. Or other things. Man, those wrestlers have got to be glad they just did a wellness test… Snitsky You know, I’ve been waiting for some explanation of why WWE shaved Snitsky. I don't care whether it came from rumors, or the WWE writing actually bothered to come up with something. But the dude looks terrible. I mean, I’ve had a few laughs with my buddy about Kane going out in public, but Snitsky? Dear god, how does he even get to be allowed to sit on a plane? Unless, they stick him next to suspicious passengers. Guarantee, if Shave Snitsky is sitting next you, you’re gonna behave. I don't care how loaded you get, one look at that dude will calm you right the fuck down. If only so you don't pass out and wind up looking like him. New Breed vs Originals Damn good match. I just wish WWE would come up with a name for Monty’s Pounce. It’s got a name, but WWE is not going to use it. But it should be called something. There’s plenty of options, I mean just check out thesaurus.com. And New Breed wins. Smackdown Starts off with Kennedy. That guy is gold. And we get a match. Jeff Hardy vs Mr. Kennedy Well, so much for doing something with the tag team belts. Still, it’s early in their reign, and this is just after WM. Still, a better use for your new tag team champions could have been found, other than singles action. Otherwise, what’s the point of having them tag team champions? But, it was a good match. Afterwards, Hornswaggle appeared, and Finlay took advantage and jumped Kennedy and told him to leave Lil' Bastard alone. Teddy Long and Krystal Teddy and Krystal continued their flirtations. Kennedy interrupted, and said he wanted a match. He wanted Hornswaggle. Now that’s funny. Great job by Kennedy in building up to naming his opponent. Teddy made a two on one match for next week. Finlay and Hornswaggle vs Kennedy. Benoit vs The Miz Miz has presence, and apparently, some skills. Benoit did a great job, but some credit has to go to the Miz. Match was excellent. Ending was MVP running out and pulling Miz out of the way of the Flying Headbutt. MVP timed it perfectly, complete with his hiding until the match was over, and Miz got the pin. Booker vs Matt Hardy Different pace of match, as Matt and Booker broke out the technical skills. Booker’s intent was to injure Hardy, giving up a few pinfall attempts to try and hurt Hardy. However, Matt got the desperation counter, and the roll up for the win. Sharmell enters the ring afterwards, and breaks up with Booker, for failing to protect her. Kane vs Dave Taylor Dave is back, and Regal came out with him. Both men attack Kane before the bell sounds, but Kane fights them off. So, there was a brawl, but no match, and Kane came out on top. Booker and Sharmell Booker tries to make up with Sharmell, but Sharmell is having none of it, and slaps Booker. Paul London and Brian Kendrick vs Chavo and Gregory Helms Very good match. Quick paced, and high flying. Plenty of time as well. End was Kendrick with a Sliced Bread on Helms, for the pin. Deuce and Domino were watching the match from their car on the ramp. Undertaker Speaks. Well, he doesn't, but Dave does. He says one sentence, and then leaves. Booker then jumps Undertaker, but gets beaten down, and for the finale, gets a Tombstone through an announce table. Very good show. The Smackdown PPV is two months away, but the main angles have all been set up. The tag division is looking like it might get another shot. There was even a Mark Henry promo. Wow. He really is coming back. That guy must have a great agent. I do look forward to seeing what Mark can do. Kane was rumored to be taking some time off for knee surgery. News then broke that Booker will be getting knee surgery too, and will be out for a while. So, that’s two men down. Mark could fit into one of their spots. Hey, some one has to feud with Khali. Better Mark than some one else, some one you might give a crap about. But there is an option. Booker is out, so, what do you do with Sharmell? Keep her out as well? Keep her on TV? She’s a talented manager. She can speak. Do you have her try and recruit some one to help her get her revenge against Undertaker? It could build up to a return feud for Booker, which would be a good thing. But against who? Mark Henry and Sharmell might not be terrible, but there’s no guarantee that it will be good. Mark could be used to just fill a slot, and at least with Sharmell, it stands a chance of being entertaining. Sharmell and Batista? Hah, I kinda doubt that one. But it is worth thinking about. Rey Mysterio will be coming back soon, and the rumor is still a planned feud with Vince. That means in all likelihood, that Rey will be going to Raw, and that creates another hole on Smackdown. That’s still months away, and Smackdown has done a good job of filling the holes. In fact, all the brands have covered well for fired or injured superstars. All the brands look like they have a plan in place. I'd give the build for Mania high marks, and it looks like that planning is being carried over to the next round of PPV’s. In fact, it’s not too hard to fantasy book the angles all the way to Summerslam. There are plenty of options, and twists and turns to keep things interesting. Will it all pan out into success? Well, anything can happen in wrestling. Only time will tell, and it’s still very early in this next round. But I will say that things are looking up. Wrestling is fun to watch right now, and there’s little need to over think angles. At this point, in the future? Well, Vince did shave his head, proving he’s willing to sacrifice for his shows. And now, when he gets a wacky idea in his head, it’s going to be harder to justify a reason for not doing it. Stick two developmental guys in a horse costume and give to the world Bucky The Wrestling Pantomime Horse, and there’s Vince, grinning, with a mad twinkle in his eye, and coming off his shaved head, and well, you better put down a long term payment option on a horse costume. It’s wrestling, and in a business where David Arquette can be World Heavyweight Champion, where Kevin Federline can pin your champion, and the owner of the company gets shaved bald, a man can have sex with a dead chick, and one crazy bastard can crash a funeral, and drag off the casket of the deceased, well anything can happen. Perhaps, even some net punk writer pinning Shawn Michaels in a wrestling ring. If Al Wilson can live the dream, why not me or you? And that’s all for today. Quick Plugs and that’s a wrap. QUICK PLUGS! LOP Forums Sports! Political Discussions! Video Games! Wrestling! Sign up now! LOP Column's Forum The next generation of wrestling writers. The Project Creative Writing, political discourse, social topcs examined, and a forum for intelligent discussion The Movie Bar IT'S BACK! Monkey has got his mojo going! Go and check it out! Leave some comments! The Rose Reports Excellent site for political information The PWA Best E-Fed on the net. Period. That's all for today. Thanks for Readin' and thanks for Ridin' Wevv Mang Please label all feedback as "FEEDBACK". Thank you. Email: MrWevv@mac.com *NEW GALLERY* Exclusive Photos of WWE's 12 Rounds Starring JOHN CENA!
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