FACT or FICTION - WrestleMania 23
Submitted by Boss Foxx on Friday, March 30, 2007 at 8:57 PM EST





Welcome to the WrestleMania edition of FACT or FICTION. This is like most other incarnations of this format that you've seen all over the place. We've got a few of the LoP regulars to chime in on assorted topics. With each topic, it's declared as a statement. The contributors then decide whether the statement is fact or fiction, followed up with an explanation why. I was hoping Morpheus was going to be able to chime in with his contributions, but real life ... or bears ... got in the way. At least he can take credit for coming up with a majority of the topics for this edition of FoF. So without further ado, let's jump right into it.

FACT or FICTION: WrestleMania 23 is shaping up to be better than WrestleMania 22, and possibly better than any Mania in recent history.

X-FV1 - If memory serves me correctly, all of the most recent Wrestlemanias have been marked by some special moment. Last year, there were some great performances by HBK, Edge, Triple H and Cena, but we had the sentimental Rey title win. A couple years ago, we had Eddie and Benoit, the first MITB and the Shawn/Angle match. It just seems to me that there is no one vying for their first title, or anyone who looks like they’re in a position to do something amazing. So, unless the WWE are counting on Taker’s streak ending, or a MITB cash-in with title change, I’m gonna have to say FICTION.

Sheepster - Absolute FACT. Seriously. Vince McMahon will be shaving his head. Picture that, folks. Vincent Kennedy McMahon Jr with absolutely no hair on his head. There's not one person reading this who wouldn't like to see that, and if you disagree, you're kidding yourself. This will be the greatest moment in Wrestlemania history.

1,000,000 BC - Hmmm. Hmmm... John Cena vs. an over-the-hill and broken down "DXer"? Check. The Undertaker vs. a musclebound, yet otherwise useless quasi-rapist? Check. No Hulk Hogan. Check. No Rock. Check. No legitimate draw potential? Check. Bobby Lashley in a poorly-conceived gimmick match nobody cares about? Check. Playboy Pillow Fight? Che... WHAAAAA?! Uh-oh. Close but no cigar, 23. FUN FICTION about the number 23: It's Torrie Wilson's waist measurement. You should see the look on my face typing that one.

Boss Foxx – FACTISH. It's a fact because I think WrestleMania 22 was a lackluster Mania in the broad scope of things. This year's event is genuinely looking better on paper than what we got offered last year. That being said, this Mania is nowhere near being the best Mania in recent history. WrestleMania X-7 still holds that accolade, as far as I'm concerned. Good luck to WWE in topping that one because this year isn't even coming close.

FACT or FICTION: The Intercontinental Title is being thoroughly discredited from it's former prestige, as we head into our fifth consecutive WrestleMania without the title being defended.

X-FV1 - The last time the title was defended at WrestleMania, it was RVD beating William Regal in a very quick opening match. A few months later, it gets scrapped altogether. While it has had some strong feuds since being resurrected, it’s also been demeaned so much that few people even care anymore. All those years of being ignored has already led to it being discredited. So, I’m gonna have to go with FICTION on this one.

Sheepster - Poppicock. I love the Intercontinental title. It has always been my favourite, and have often enjoyed Intercontinental matches more than the main events. With that being the case, and forgive me for seeming arrogant, I think that gives me more authority than most other casual fans to talk about the prestige of the title. It may have suffered in recent years, none more so than when it was merged with one of the heavyweight titles, but it is still a title that the midcard is built upon. It carries people up to the next level. I know it's a cliché, but Nitro, Carlito and Benjamin are the future. The feuds they were having between themselves gave something back to the title, and a simple omission from 5 straight Wrestlemanias will not tarnish it's unarguably great legacy.

1,000,000 BC - It's former prestige? Would that be the pantheon including future Hall of Famers like Dean Douglas, The Mountie, Johnny Nitro, CHYNA, Test, Mary Jannetty, Ahmed Johnson and of course the man most synonymous with the title, The Honky Tonk Man? Absolutely. It's a fucking tragedy. How dare WWE even present the mere concept of a pay-per-view without including the belt that they actually got rid of five years ago. Next thing you know, they'll create a Hall of Fame without inducting Bruno Sammartino. FUN FACT about the number 23: It's the age the youngest Intercontinental Champion won the title, Jeff Hardy. He later pawned it for blow.

Boss Foxx – FACT. I remember when the Intercontinental title used to mean something. After it was relinquished by the Ultimate Warrior in 1990, I was marking out huge for the tournament that followed and was won by Mr. Perfect. From there to guys like Kerry Von Erich, Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, Shawn Michaels, etc ... that title has had a lineage of some of the very best. There have been hiccups along the way like the Mountie, sure, but the belt had a luster to it that was unparalleled for quite some time. Then the Attitude Era hit and it went downhill with guys like the Godfather, Prince Albert, and Chyna holding the belt. Add that with the fact that the belt isn't showcased at Mania for five years running and you've got a thoroughly discredited title.

FACT or FICTION: With the "Battle of the Billionaires" match, WWE has finally found that "spark" to get Lashley over as a star with casual fans.

X-FV1 - I don’t care what anyone says, I think this is FICTION. This high profile match might get him noticed, and may even make people realize that his name is not ‘Lindsey’. But, I’d say there’s little chance of it getting him over. Bobby Lashley has little personality and even less charisma. His in-ring is generic and it always seems like he’s plain confused as to what he should do to get people behind him. If he can’t get regular fans to love him, I doubt he can get casuals to even like him.

Sheepster - Rubbish. The "spark" you are referring to will never happen. The reason Lashley isn't over with the casual fans is that he has the wrong eyes. Look into that man's eyes, even when he's angry. I mean, really pissed off. Are you scared? Heck no. Despite the enormous size of his terrifying deltoid muscles, he couldn't scare a puppy if he crushed it with his boot. It's the eyes. That man needs either an eye transplant, or a forehead augmentation, before he can be truly scary. And when he looks scary, he'll be over with everyone.

1,000,000 BC - Even if they found the spark to light his dartboard-like ass on fire, not even the nurses in the burn ward would care about him. He'd probably just lie there, moaning in agony through his bandages as those bitches took the Cosmo "Is Your Man A Cheater?" quiz. And to the two women who will read this... yes, he is. We all are. FUN FICTION about The Number 23: Jim Carrey excels outside of the realm of slapstick comedy.

Boss Foxx – FACT. Lashley is definitely being put over for the casual fans these days ... and it's working. There's a potential breaking point to it though, and if WWE isn't careful they're going to cross it. For the last few months, the ECW Champion has been pushed to a degree that not even John Cena can lay claim. Lashley is virtually unstoppable. He's hitting Goldberg levels of indestructibility. And with that, there's a point where fans will stop buying into the aura of an unstoppable champion and turn on the guy. It won't be a unanimous reversal of fortune, but if this pace continues for much longer, fans (at least the online community) is going to start rejecting this force-fed super push that Lashley is receiving.

FACT or FICTION: Interbrand matches have traditionally been a high point of WrestleMania for the past five years, but with all the cross-brand interaction that's taking place over the last several months, there is considerably less excitement and anticipation for the ones booked for WrestleMania 23.

X-FV1 - There is considerably less excitement and anticipation for the WrestleMania 23 Interbrand matches. Is it because of the cross-brand interaction? I think it has to do with the matches signed. In the past, we’ve had Michaels/Angle, Goldberg/Lesnar and Taker/Kane. Aside from MITB3, this year, we are getting Kane vs. the Great Khali, which is why people are not excited; this one is pure FICTION.

Sheepster - Piffle. Right problem, wrong conclusion. It's nothing to do with over-exposure. There is considerably less excitement and anticipation for the interbrand matches because they've been booked atrociously. I do not care about a single one of these matches, because they haven't made me care. I remember when Goldberg sidled up to Brock Lesnar backstage. That was at Survivor Series, a full 4 months before they met. The eventual match was rubbish/awesome depending on your viewpoint, but the build-up made it seem tantalising. As a great Irish comedian once explained, "It's the way you tell 'em".

1,000,000 BC - I'll be honest. I have no idea who's what brand anymore, nor have I ever cared. All I know is that all the blacks and Hispanics are on SmackDown. So I know where about eight people are. Anyway, I don't really believe interracial matches so cross-brand interaction holds no interest for me. FUN FACT about the number 23: Actress Jean Stapleton was born in 1923 and later portrayed Edith Bunker on All In The Family, which spun off Maude... which itself spun off Good Times... which had black people on it! Thus, 1923 was a good year for black people.

Boss Foxx – FACT. These Interbrand matches for the past few years have usually been those “dream matches” that fans clamber for. Whether they pan out in the execution is another thing, but the anticipation for them can't be beat. Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg colliding at WrestleMania 20 was a high point, Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels squaring off was another, and even Undertaker going against Randy Orton was something to anticipate. The quality of the actual matches is suspect in some cases, but the build up is almost always something to get behind. The same cannot be said about this year, as Lashley/Umaga and Kane/Khali don't exactly come off as those “dream matches” that we've all been waiting to see.

"FACT or FRICTION": Ashley Massaro is officially the hottest piece of WWE ass to grace "Playboy."

X-FV1 - That would be a big feat for Ashley. She has amazing ‘assets’, as anyone who saw the last PPV could attest to, but hottest piece of ass, she is not. Maybe it’s her previous appearance in Playboy, but I still think the hottest piece of ass award (if there was one) would go to either Candice Michelle or Torrie Wilson, making this FRICTION.

Sheepster - FRICTION? The only friction I'm getting is by scratching my head over this statement. Ashley Massaro may look pretty good, and I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed in a hurry. But I'm a Stratus guy. Always have been. I went through half a box of man-size tissues when I heard she was leaving WWE.

Eh? She's never done Playboy? Oh. Alright then. Whatever the question is, I pick Chyna.

1,000,000 BC - It's pretty bad when you're dating Paul London and you're the one people say has a bony ass. FUN FRICTION about the number 23: I don't actually get the "friction" thing. It must be some kind of a frottage joke though so... whatever. Is this almost over? I want to go jack off.

Boss Foxx – FRICTION. Ashley's cute and all, don't get me wrong. But Torrie Wilson remains the absolute hottest WWE Diva to ever grace the cover of Playboy. Ashley might be in the Top Three, but that's about it. She beats out Chyna at least ... then again, Vito would probably make a better Playboy Playmate than Chyna.

Bonus Question - "FACT or FINLAY": Who will be the stand-out performer in "Money In The Bank 3" now that Shelton Benjamin has been taken out of the picture?

X-FV1 - We’ve seen what Edge and the Hardyz can do in ladder matches, so we know we can expect something special from them. I don’t know if anyone can live up to Shelton’s MITB moments, but I doubt it will be Finlay, Booker, Kennedy or Orton. I’m really interested to see what CM Punk can do in this match, but when it comes right down to it, Jeff Hardy is still a 100% spot monkey, so I say he will be the MITB3 stand-out performer.

Sheepster - Are you kidding me? The Hardy Boyz are back, baby! That's all that needs to be said on the matter.

1,000,000 BC - Shelton "Hey, what's gravi-OOF" Benjamin sucks, has always sucked and will always suck. If there's anyone going to assume his role as the resident guy who jumps around like Black Warrior (if you're not a lucha fan, that just seems racist, huh?) on speed (REALLY racist), it'll probably be C.M. Punk, simply because he looks to be the most aerodynamic of the octet. That, and like Shelton, he's got no chance to move past the midcard level. I'd like to say it's not based on the color of his skin, but that Pepsi tattoo looks queer as fuck. FUN FACT (or Finlay) C.M. PUNK about the number 23 or something: 23 is the number of hours per day he spends online. Between that and the merciless shower rapes, it's a wonder he has time to actually wrestle.

Boss Foxx – Jeff Hardy. There is one thing that gets Jeff Hardy over with a crowd – killing himself. He hasn't managed to pull it off yet, but you gotta give the little spot monkey credit for trying whenever there's a ladder within arms reach. Shelton's role in the MITB was merely to leap off the top rope or ladder for the obligatory spot monkey pop. The only guy in the match this year who will come close to matching those near-botched spots will be Jeff “Do The Dew” Hardy. Everyone else will rely on actually putting on a wrestling match ... and that ain't Jeff's bag, man.


That's gonna wrap it up for this edition. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it. I hope everyone enjoys WrestleMania 23 as well, because it isn't gonna come cheap. In the meantime, you can get more out of each of the contributors to this column if you're looking for more.

Morpheus' column archive is here. You can also find him on the Monday Night Countdown with co-host, Randomguy#5.

1,000,000 BC's column archive is here.

Sheepster's column “Under The Fleece” and X-FV1's “Supreme Xperience” can be found in the LoP Columns Forum here.

And yours truly can be found in true Boss Report fashion here.








*NEW GALLERY* Very Rare Photos from MR. KENNEDY'S WEDDING!

• Quick Links -
  [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]