TNA iMPACT! Results (03/29/07)
Submitted by Lunchbox on Thursday, March 29, 2007 at 9:29 PM EST





Video package recapping last week.

Paparazzi productions show's Sting talking to Mitchell. The woman we saw last week was Abyss' mother. She shot Abyss' father three times in the back because of him abusing her and Abyss. Abyss wiped her prints off the gun and stuck his grubby hands all over it, and did six years of hard time for his mother. Mitchell gets up and tells Sting that he can foot the bill for their lunch, it's the least he could do.

X-Division X-scape Match - Shelley v. Sonjay v. Lynn v. Shark Boy v. Starr v. Petey
They all begin attacking one another. Petey v. Shark Boy. Lynn v. Starr. Shelley v. Sonjay. Sonjay with two huracanrana's on Shelley, off the top rope moonsault on Shelley. Shelley with a suplex on Sonjay. Petey comes over, Shelley into the ropes, Shark Boy with a knee to Shelley. Petey gets Shelley in the Russian leg sweep, Shark Boy drop-kicks him into it. Lynn with five hip tosses on each competitor. Lynn clotheslines Starr, spinning back kick on Lynn by Shelley. Shelley into the corner, Shark Boy eliminates Shelley with the DSD.

Shark Boy on the attack against Sonjay. Sonjay drop-kicks Shark Boy down, senton roll into a back flip splash. Sonjay up top, tries to huracanrana on Lynn, Lynn power bombs Sonjay into the cage. Lynn then eliminates Sonjay with the Cradle Piledriver.

Starr sets Lynn up top, raking Lynn's back with his nails. Shark Boy attacks Starr, Shark Boy up top, trying to get the DSD on Starr. Starr rakes his eyes and flips him over. Starr eliminates Shark Boy with a brainbuster.

Lynn and Petey double team Starr, sending him into multiple sides of the cage. They trade blows on Starr. Starr with double thumbs. Double kick brought back against Starr. Lynn sets up Starr for the Cradle Piledriver, Petey begs him to let him do the Canadian Destroyer. Petey eliminates Starr with the Canadian Destroyer.

Lynn and Petey trade chops, Petey up top, Lynn catches him and throws him into the cage face first. Lynn begins scaling the cage, Petey quickly meeting him on the cage. They trade blows as they get to the top, sitting on the edge of the cage. Lynn almost falls as they climb to the other side, slamming each other's head into the cage. Lynn drops to the floor for the victory.

Post-match, Daniels comes in from the crowd and cracks Lynn with the bat.
(Eval- Nice match, I'm so glad Lynn let Petey hit the Canadian Destroyer, that move is fabulous. Rating- **)

Moments ago, Tomko showed up at the iMPACT! Zone. Christian comes in and asks him if he had a good time, ate some sushi and some little noodles. Christian answers his phone, Tomko walks off. Christian gets off the phone and yells at Tomko, telling him that's fine, they'll catch up in a bit.

Commercial.

Team Cage make their way to the ring. Christian says he'd like to take this opportunity to make the official announcement that Steiner is the third member of Team Cage. He welcomes Scottie to Team Cage. Steiner says to not forget the title shot that he deserves. Christian says they'll get to that later. He's going to officially announce the fourth member of Team Cage, Abyss. Christian says it's a pleasure doing business with a righteous man like Mitchell. He said Team Cage is complete. AJ says he doesn't know how they do it in Canada, but in Gainesville, Florida, that equals four. Where's number five? Cage introduces Tomko as the fifth and final member of Team Cage. Tomko is a no show, Christian assumes he didn't hear him. Another introduction, music is still playing. Tomko finally comes out, with a mic of his own. Since Tomko's come to TNA, Cage has made a bunch of promises, and they've all been a lie. He plays second fiddle to no one. Second, and most importantly, he owes him a title shot. He couldn't care less who else he's promised it to. Before he joins anyone's team, he wants his title shot. Tonight. Cage calls Tomko selfish, putting himself before the team. He's a man of his word, he will give Tomko a title shot, but not until after they beat Team Angle at Lethal Lockdown. Cue the good guys.

Team Angle make their way to the ring. Angle tells Tomko that Cage was never going to give him a shot. He's a liar. Tomko might want a piece of his former boss. If he joins Team Angle, he'll be able to kick his former bosses ass. Cage tries to speak for Tomko, Tomko tells him to shut up. Cue Cornette to screw all this up. This is a wrestling program, not a soap opera or a debate. It's going to be one member of Team Angle vs. one member of Team Cage. Whoever wins, wins Tomko. If Tomko agrees, Cornette assures him he'll get the shot Cage promised him. Tomko tells 'Jimmy' that he's got a deal.
(Eval- Excellent promo, Tomko's finally his own person. Steiner didn't talk, and Styles was like a kid in a candy shop. Rating- ** 1/2)

Commercial.

Video package of LAX and Team 3D from last week.

JB backstage with Team Angle. JB asks him who's going into the match tonight. Angle said it's him, he won't let his team mates down. He's a man of his word. He's had set backs the past few weeks. His fourth and fifth members were supposed to be Sting and Abyss, but obviously that won't work now. Starting with Tomko tonight, he'll get the fifth member. JB says that's only four, who's the fifth? Angle tells him that some things are best left unanswered.
(Eval- Nice little promo, kind of pointless though. Rating- *)

Commercial.

Eric Young v. James Storm
Eric tries to be friends with Storm, multiple attempts at a clothesline, Eric ducks. Hip toss on Storm, drop-kick by Young. Jackie grabs Eric's leg and allows Storm to pummel him. Kick to Young's midsection. Storm sets up Eric on the bottom rope, to the outside, running boot. Back inside, two count. Clothesline on Storm. Young into the corner, Flair flop, back in, belly to belly on Storm. Two count. Reversal, Eric into the corner, hops over Storm. Backdrop suplex on Storm. Eric up top, Jackie knocks him off right into a super kick from Storm. 1-2-3.

Post-match Gail Kim and Chris Harris run into the ring with a bunch of security. Insert pointless brawling through the crowd here. Young is still in the ring, Robert Roode comes down and tells Eric that was horrible and he's a disgrace to the sport. More importantly he's a disgrace to Robert Roode, Inc. Eric puts Roode into the ropes and threatens to hit him. Roode says he'll fire him and keeps taunting him. Roode asks for his Eric's friend. Petey with the save, multiple punches on Roode. Sets him up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Roode runs away.
(Eval- Nice match, Eric's finally getting to wrestle. Of course it couldn't last long, that would hurt the story arc. Rating- * 1/2)

Backstage, Christian says after tonight, Tomko might not be part of the team. He's nothing without him, never has and never will be. Cage says he won't wrestle Angle tonight, someone else needs to. AJ and Steiner both say why they should be the man to do it. Mitchell interrupts and tells Cage that Abyss will do the dirty work for him. He'll do it whether he wants to or not, because if he doesn't, he'll make a call to the authorities about his dear old Mom.
(Eval- I like where this is heading, however I'm predicting that Abyss turns on Team Cage at Lockdown. Rating- **)

Commercial.

Christy talks to VKM and Lance Hoyt via satellite. Christy says they're not prepared. Kip says she's got it all wrong, she's just in the way of what they want. The NWA Tag Team titles. There's still no room for women in wrestling, she needs to stop while she has her dignity. Christy says she has another team, and they'll be there at Lockdown. Kip tells her that if she wants to act like a wrestler, sooner or later, she'll be hurt like one. He's begging her to stop.
(Eval- Nice little promo, except Christy needs to not talk. Rating- *)

Abyss v. Kurt Angle - Winner gets Tomko on their team.
Angle and Abyss lock up, Angle tries to get around him for a suplex but is backed up by the ref. Angle goes for Abyss' leg and drags him down, twisting his left leg. Multiple kicks to Abyss' left thigh. Chop block to take Abyss back down. Back up, Angle runs in, Abyss clotheslines Angle down. Abyss comes back over, Angle grabs his leg and brings him down for the Ankle Lock. Abyss gets the rope, Angle won't let go. Cage comes down to the ring, Angle lets go.

Commercial.

Abyss has Angle in a hesitation suplex. Two count. Angle fights back with some right hands, Abyss gets him with his own rights. Angle flips around Abyss, German Suplex. Straps are down! Kick to Abyss' midsection, went for the Olympic Slam, Abyss throws him into the ropes. Abyss picks Angle up for the Shock Treatment, Angle fights it off and drops, rolling Abyss over and going into the Ankle Lock. Abyss rolls and tries to kick Angle loose, but Angle holds on. Rolling through, Angle is flipped into Earl Hebner, knocking him outside. Black Hole Slam! Rudy Charles runs in, COVER, TWO AND NO! Abyss sets Angle up for the chokeslam, rolls through, pin, 1-2-3.

Post-match, Tomko comes in, raises Angle's hand then catches him with the clipboard. Cage in, Tomko signs the Team Cage contract. All members of the teams run into the ring. Five on three brawl ensues, leaving Team Cage standing tall as iMPACT! goes off the air.
(Eval- Damnit, I was hoping our spoilers were wrong and Tomko was on Team Angle. That's what I get for wishing and not actually thinking. I'm sad. Match was also too short. Rating- * 1/2)

Final Analysis- Overall, an okay iMPACT!. Good promos, matches were a little lacking but were well put together. I'll give this a 6/10 hoping that within the next two weeks we actually get an explanation of Daniels v. Lynn instead of them just wrestling out of nowhere. Goodnight folks.

Lunchbox
thelunchreport@columbus.rr.com








*NEW GALLERY* Wow! The Amazing RED CORSET Bedroom Photos of WWE's Maryse!

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