The Raw Report (03/26/07): Cena/HBK vs. Batista/Taker; Lashley vs. McMahon
Submitted by Chad Matthews on Monday, March 26, 2007 at 8:35 PM EST





The Raw Report (03/26/07)

The show opened with Coach in the ring, alerting us to the fact that the Lashley-McMahon match is No-DQ. Also, if anyone interferes in the match, they will be fined and suspended. At that point, Stone Cold Steve Austin made his way to the ring. After his usual 4-post posing session, Austin grabbed a mic and told us a story about his past week in Texas. He said that he got a truck full of presents from Donald Trump. Coach interrupted and said that those actions were typical Trump. Austin interrupted right back and said that he told the delivery man who brought all the presents to take them back to NYC. The delivery guy told Austin that the presents were from Stamford, CT. Thus, it would seem as if McMahon sent Austin gifts and addressed them from Trump. Austin wanted to know if Vince thought he was stupid. He wanted to know if everyone thought he should go ahead and shave McMahon’s head bald. Coach said that it was him, not McMahon, who sent the gifts. Austin made it clear that no one would play games with him…not here and not at Wrestlemania. He said that if either superstar didn’t listen to him on Sunday, then he’d whoop their ass. Coach said he got the picture, so often decided to leave. However, Coach tried kissing Austin’s ass, saying that bald was beautiful and he didn’t know why Trump and McMahon were so worked up over the thought of losing their hair. Austin gave Coach the Stunner and celebrated with a beer bash. (CMV1 note- nothing more than a way to get Austin on TV. It was nothing new, really. This feud reached it’s climax weeks ago…all that’s left is the match)


Backstage, Austin got in his big truck and tried to leave. However, a limo blocked his way. After some horn honking, Vince popped up out of the sunroof of the limo and asked who the hell…Before he could get the whole sentence out, he realized it was Austin and apologized on behalf of his driver. Austin flipped him the bird. McMahon got out of the limo and proceeded to drag and beat the crap out of his limo driver. He fired him…


Match 1: Playboy Cover Girls (Ashley, Torrie, and Candice) vs. Women’s Champ Melina, Victoria, and Jillian
-(CMV1 note- it was noted prior to the match that the women’s title match this Sunday would be a Lumberjill match, featuring all the other divas surrounding the ring). Candice scored with an early spinning wheel kick, but Melina and the heels took over soon after when Victoria placed Candice in the tree of woe. Jillian showed some athleticism in attempting a handstand into a leg drop, but Candice moved out of the way. Ashley got the lukewarm tag and used a tilt-a-whirl head scissor to take down Jillian. She followed with a hurricanrana on Victoria. The finish came when Ashley used a Victory Roll to pin Jillian. The Playboy Cover Girls picked up the win. (CMV1 rating- ½ *) (CMV1 note- short, but entertaining while it lasted. Ashley and Jillian showed some nice athleticism)


Highlights of the Trump-McMahon feud were shown…


Mania 23 is just 6 days away!


Match 2: CM Punk vs. Kenny Dykstra
-Kenny took control right off the bat, as the crowd chanted for Punk. Punk came back quickly with a Jericho-esque double underhook into a backbreaker. Kenny regained momentum when he knocked Punk off the top rope and sent him crashing hard to the mat. The crowd got strongly behind Punk, but Kenny kept on him with a jumping back elbow smash. Though Kenny continued to dominate, the crowd again chanted for Punk. Punk eventually kneed his way out of a suplex and scored with a jumping back kick to finally gain some momentum. The Straight Edge Extremist followed with a springboard clothesline and a bulldog. The finish came when Punk defeated Kenny nailing Go To Sleep. (CMV1 rating- * ¼). (CMV1 note- good, short match)


Immediately after the preceding match, Edge did a backstage interview on the Titantron to hype his Cutting Edge segment...which is next!


Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, CM Punk, Finlay, King Booker, Kennedy, and Randy Orton were guests on the Cutting Edge. The camera continually cut back and forth b/t Edge and Orton. The Rated-R Superstar welcomed us all to the Cutting Edge and reminded everyone that the Money in the Bank match returns to this Sunday. He also reminded everyone of his ladder match victories and his undefeated Wrestlemania record. One by one, he started to make his way around the ring interviewing his opponents. Matt Hardy was up first. Hardy reminded Edge that he had a lot of ladder match victories, as well. Edge said he was surprised that Hardy was even booked on the card. Hardy took a shot at Edge’s former on-screen g/f, Lita. Booker was next, and he declared that his title reign was very successful. Finlay interrupted and said he was tired of the verbal diarrhea. Orton grabbed the mic and talked about how Edge had been ducking out of matches for the last month. Kennedy backed him up, but then noted that he’d be the one winning. He tried to do his usual schtick, but Edge grabbed the mic back and said that it was real nice that he could repeat his name. Edge turned his attention to Jeff Hardy, who the Rated-R Superstar mocked and taunted. Jeff said that he would steal the show at Mania just as he does in every ladder match he’s involved in. Punk was last, and the crowd chanted his name. He said that Edge was addicted to running his mouth. Edge pushed Punk into the crowd of ladder match participants, causing a huge brawl in the ring. The host hightailed it and watched the melee from the ramp. Punk and the Hardys, meanwhile, cleaned house of all the heels and then ran after Edge. (CMV1 note- good stuff…I love it when Edge does those pseudo-shoot promos)


The HOF ceremony will air this Saturday at 12 ET/11 CT…


Backstage, Maria interviewed John Cena. Cena hyped every match and appearance at Mania in a round-about way, but then turned his attention toward HBK. He said that the dust will settle, the smoke will clear, and the two most controversial, intense, charismatic individuals of all time would step into the ring and compete for the richest prize in the profession. People will talk of the match for years to come…and they’d talk about one man who could say that he was the best…and that one man would be able to raise his hand high and proclaim “The Champ is here!” (CMV1 note- one of the best promos you’ll hear in the business today. Cena was on his game tonight and that was one helluva promo! He was intense, he was to the point, and he managed to get in the funny stuff that kids love, too)


Match 3: Mr. McMahon vs. ECW Champion Bobby Lashley
-Vince got on the mic before the match and said that he was going to embarrass Lashley by pinning him 1-2-3. Murdoch and Cade attacked Lashley as the match got underway. Lashley handled them pretty easily, though. Chris Masters came after him next and tried to apply the Masterlock. Lashley countered and disposed of him. Johnny Nitro got involved, as well, but took the running powerslam. Umaga was presumably the last bullet in Vince’s proverbial gun. The two representatives in the Battle of the Billionaires went toe-to-toe until VKM gave Lashley a low blow. Umaga followed with a Samoan drop, allowing Vince to get the win. The Samoan Bulldozer was instructed to continue his assault, though. Thus, Umaga went to the top and splashed the ECW Champ. He then dragged him into the corner and gave him a pair of running rear splashes before capping off the assault with the Samoan Spike. Vince pinned Lashley. (CMV1 rating- n/a) (CMV1 note- It was nice to see the interaction b/t Umaga and Lashley…nice change of pace to everything being focused solely on McMahon)


Backstage, Vince scoffed at the notion that his victory over Lashley was controversial. He said that Umaga would destroy Lashley again at Mania. Eugene, dressed as Trump, came into the picture and opened the door for McMahon…


Match 4: Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton vs. The Hardys
-Orton started off against Matt, who grabbed a headlock to start the match. Hardy eventually scored with an elbow smash off the second rope. Jeff tagged in and connected with a slingshot dropkick, but Orton tagged Kennedy soon after. Kennedy took control for the heels with a series of clubbing blows. Hardy came back with a head scissor, but Kennedy tossed him out of the ring, soon after. Orton tagged back in and lock on a rear choke. Kennedy came back in and placed Jeff on the top turnbuckle. Jeff ended up getting the best of the situation with the Whisper in the Wind. After a mulekick on Orton, Matt got the hot tag and cleaned house. Matt used a bulldog-clothesline combo to take down both Kennedy and Orton. Hardy used a pair of Side Effects to nearly win the match. He tried to hit the Twist of Fate on Orton, but Kennedy clotheslined him. The finish came when Kennedy pushed Matt into Orton’s RKO. Orton and Kennedy defeated the Hardys. (CMV1 rating- * ¾) (CMV1 note- good while it lasted, but too short to amount to much. Kind of a big deal that the make-shift, first-time tag team defeated one of the greatest tag teams of all-time w/o any hype)


Jim Ross will be inducted into the 2007 Hall of Fame…(CMV1 note- I got chills down my spine from hearing the superstars talk about Ross. I may not be that big a fan of the current version of JR, but he’s still easily the best in the business today and one of the best of all-time)…


The Great Khali was supposed to wrestle Ric Flair, but the “match” quickly dissolved into a squashing. Carlito tried to make the save, but both he and Flair ended up getting destroyed. Kane came to the ring and brawled with Khali. Using his hook, the Big Red Machine chased Khali out of the ring…


“The Condemned” hits theatres April 27…


JR and King ran down the Mania 23 card…


Backstage, HBK said that, as far as he’s concerned, John Cena represents every superstar he’s ever been in the ring with…every legend, every icon, every immortal. He said that so many superstars have, in the past, said that they wanted to be the best in the business, only to realize that they couldn’t get past the Heartbreak Kid. They all inevitably packed their bags and went home, but HBK still stands the test of time. At Wrestlemania 23, Michaels promised to become the WWE Champion…(CMV1 note- okay, so this and Cena’s promo were examples of the best you’d hear in the business today. When he’s on, HBK is still one of the best on the schtick)


Match 5: World Champion Batista and Undertaker vs. WWE Champion John Cena and HBK
-Taker attacked Cena to start the match. Cena came right back with a series of right hands and to a chorus of boos. Taker threw him in the corner and unleashed a barrage of his own. Cena got caught with snake eyes, but dodged the big boot and went for the FU. Taker countered and went for the chokeslam, but HBK came to the rescue. The tag champs tried to do some double teaming, but Taker countered. Batista came in and helped Taker clear the ring so they could get it on, but Cena came back into the ring just in time to prevent a Mania 23 WHC match preview. Taker ended up on the outside, where HBK repeatedly tossed him leg first into the steel steps. Cena and Michaels isolated Taker from that point. HBK caught Taker with a swinging neckbreaker and tagged Cena, who again got a strong chorus of boos. Taker came back with a jumping clothesline. Batista blind-tagged himself in and began to dominate the other champ. Cena came back with a running one-handed facebuster and tagged HBK. Michaels caught Batista with a flying forearm, but Taker took him out with a big boot. Meanwhile, Batista planted Cena with a spinebuster. The World Champ set Cena up for the Batista Bomb. Taker picked HBK up for a press slam, but instead threw Michaels into Batista and left the ringside area. Cena and HBK proceeded to double team Batista. However, after a double Five Knuckle Shuffle, HBK blindsided Cena with a superkick. Batista pinned HBK, giving he and Taker the win. After the match, HBK motioned to Cena that he couldn’t see him. (CMV1 rating- ** ½) (CMV1 note- very entertaining while it lasted. I know a lot of people haven’t really dug the Cena-HBK feud, but that kick was the culmination of what I think has been a great storyline. It played out at just the right pace and climaxed just at the right time…now, it’s time to dance)



All in all…A nice go-home show to give final hype to Wrestlemania. The mark in me comes out during this of year, and I can’t wait until the big show on Sunday. It’s the culmination of our year as wrestling fans, ladies and gentlemen, so try and enjoy the show whether you like the card or not, for this atmosphere comes but once a year. HBK and Cena each cut great promos to give the final push to their match, and HBK’s superkick was supremely well-timed (in regards to the feud as a whole). Batista-Taker got some nice hype as well, playing up to their recent chain of actions on SD. The 8-man interview with the MITB competitors was also very well done. In fact, not a single Wrestlemania match that was hyped on this show failed to be interesting…even McMahon-Trump. Thus, I’m giving this show a 6.5/10 and calling it a night…




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