The Raw Report (03/12/07): Battle of the Billionaires Contract Signing
Submitted by Chad Matthews on Monday, March 12, 2007 at 8:34 PM EST





Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize in advance…I feel like crap tonight…the same week of my national boards, no less…


The Raw Report (03/12/07)

RIP Big Cat…

A recap was shown of the events surrounding HBK and John Cena from last week’s episode of Raw…


The show opened with WWE Champion John Cena coming to the ring sporting a new t-shirt. To a mixed reaction, the champ said he feels tension in the air. He said the past 6 weeks of his life, he’s had to ask himself if he trusts HBK…when is Michaels going to turn on him? On the door step of Mania, Cena said he was sick of wondering and wasn’t down with waiting to find out if HBK was going to stab him in the back. Cena called Michaels out. HBK responded and made his way to the ring. Cena halted HBK before he had the chance to speak and questioned his statements about having his back. HBK said he wasn’t trying to win “Good Samaritan of the Year.” He said his only goal was to become WWE Champ. Despite that, he’s kept his word about keeping Cena’s back. So, he can wonder all he wants, but what HBK wants to know is when is Cena going to turn on HBK. He said he knows Cena will do whatever it takes to remain champ and he digs that about him. However, as badly as Cena wants the title, HBK wants one more day in the sun just a little bit more. It appeared they might come to blows, but the Coach made his presence felt. The crowd didn’t like it. Nonetheless, Coach said there were a lot of tag teams that wanted a shot at their tag belts. So, HBK and Cena will face three teams in a gauntlet match…every one of which will be for the tag titles. In the event that they make it to the final match, it will be contested in a cage match. (CMV1 note- pretty good opening segment…nothing groundbreaking, but it ups the tension level a bit. I would assume that tonight may be the night that the two Mania main-eventers will lose the tag championships)


Donald Trump arrived in the parking lot…


Match 1: Final Qualifier for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match- Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton vs. Carlito
-(CMV1 note- this was an elimination match). Flair and Carlito went right after Orton. Randy fought his way out and tried to score a quick pin with his feet on the ropes, but to no avail. Orton backdropped and dropkicked Flair, but Carlito snuck up on him and rolled him up for a near fall. The Legend Killer dominated the early going before Flair and Carlito double-teamed him again and took control. They took turns hammering Orton in the corner. Then, they took turns trying to pin him. Orton raked Flair in the eyes and tried to get going again, but CCC caught him with a back elbow smash. Flair caught Orton with a chop block. Carlito followed with a springboard back elbow. They proceeded to get into an argument over who should beat Orton. CCC caught Flair with the Back Cracker. Orton tossed Carlito out of the ring and gave Flair the RKO. Orton defeated Flair at 4:06. Carlito came back with a dropkick. We then got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but I guess that was to be expected. Back from the break, Orton had Carlito locked in a Boston Crab. During the break, Orton planted CCC with a DDT while Carlito’s feet were on the second ropes. Carlito broke the hold, as we returned to live action. Orton continued to dominate, though, stomping away at Carlito’s leg and dropping his knee into CCC’s throat. Randy then whipped Carlito hard into the corner before applying a rear chinlock. Carlito battled back to his feet and caught Orton with a back suplex. As they reached their feet, Carlito blasted Orton with a series of right and left hands, but missed a dropkick. Orton then poised himself for the RKO. He went for the kill, but Carlito pushed him into the ropes and scored with a hurricanrana. CCC got fired up at that point and eventually scored with a running Million Dollar knee lift and a modified one-man flapjack (out of fireman carry position) for a near fall. He then went for a moonsault off the top rope, but landed on his feet as Orton ran under him. He scored with an enziguiri and followed with a springboard rolling Senton for a pair of near falls. CCC tried to keep the momentum going, but Orton crotched him on the top rope, followed with the RKO, and won the match. Orton qualified for MITB at 13:43. (CMV1 rating- ** ¼) (CMV1 note- pretty mundane in the early going, but the final minutes were pretty good)


A video highlight package of Lashley and Mr. McMahon’s interactions over the last couple of weeks was shown…


Footage was shown of Khali attacking Kane last week on SD…


Chris Masters was in the ring for the Masterlock Challenge. No one stepped up to the challenge, so Masters said it’d have to be Lillian. Before all that could get started, Super Crazy came to the rescue. He scored with a series of kicks and went for a wheelbarrow bulldog. However, Masters caught him in the Masterlock in mid-move. Crazy was unable to break the hold.


Mr. McMahon showed up in the parking lot. He told Trump’s driver to tell Donald that “mine was bigger than his.”


Foley hyped his book in a pre-taped vignette…


A tribute for Ernie Ladd was shown…JR, Jerry Briscoe, and Brother Love spoke about him…


Backstage, Orton approached Edge and told him that they were no longer opponents. Edge said that while that was really impressive, he’s been in 12 ladder matches and won more of them than everyone else in MITB combined. He’s also undefeated at Wrestlemania. Orton said the only reason for that was because he’d never faced him at Mania. He also said he was better looking…


On the Titantron, The Rock gave his thoughts on Wrestlemania’s Battle of the Billionaires. He said that “Finally, The Rock has come back to Monday Night Raw.” He said McMahon would get his head shaved at Mania. Rock said that Umaga, in Samoan, means shriveled up monkey penis…look it up. How does Vince plan on beating Lashley and Trump with a shriveled up monkey penis? (CMV1 note- that was a nice touch…who doesn’t miss the Rock? I wish he’d come back for a match with HBK)


Match 2: World Tag Team Champions HBK and John Cena in a Gauntlet Match
-(CMV1 note- remember that the last match will be a cage match). The first team they faced was TWGTT, Haas and Benjamin. The champs took control from the get-go, w/ Cena taking down Shelton with a jumping hip toss. After a mix-up, Cena scored with a fisherman suplex. Haas tried to get involved, but Cena blasted him in the face. The distraction allowed Shelton to kick Cena in the leg, though. Haas tagged in and worked over Cena’s lower back. He then backed Cena into the corner for a series of shoulder thrusts. Cena came back with a running one-handed facebuster and tagged HBK. Michaels scored with the diving forearm on Haas, an inverted atomic drop on both, and a DDT on Haas. He then clotheslined Shelton over the top rope. Cena tagged himself in and made Haas tap out to the STFU at 2:55. The next team was Cade and Murdoch. The two teams brawled as match 2 got underway. Cade and Murdoch wasted little time in singling out HBK and dropping him with an inverted atomic drop-big boot combo. Lance worked over his former mentor (in wrestling school). Murdoch tagged in and sloppily slammed HBK to the mat. Cade tagged back in and scored with a diving clothesline. He then applied a bearhug. The crowd chanted for HBK. Michaels used their enthusiasm to fight out of the hold and score with an enziguiri (eventually). Murdoch got the tag, but so did Cena. The champ cleaned house and took Murdoch down with the Prototype spinning back drop, setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena went for the FU, but HBK blasted Murdoch with Sweet Chin Music while he was on Cena’s shoulders. Cena pinned Murdoch at 6:26, but didn’t look happy that Michaels stole his thunder. As the cage lowered, we got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but that was understandable. Back from the break, we found that it was MNM facing the champs. The match was joined in progress, which is annoying. Nitro had Cena locked in a rear choke. Cena powered out and tagged HBK (yes, tagged…this wasn’t your typical tornado-style tag team cage match). HBK was unable to gain much momentum, as Mercury tossed him into the side of the cage. Nitro came back in and choked Michaels before scoring with a modified swinging neckbreaker. Mercury came back in and connected on a combination stomach breaker w/ Nitro. Nitro tagged right back in and went for a corkscrew moonsault off the second rope. However, he missed and tagged Mercury. MNM tried to keep Michaels grounded, but HBK resiliently escaped and tagged Cena. Cena, again getting a mixed reaction, cleaned house and tossed Mercury into the steel like a lawn dart. He then hip tossed Nitro into the cage. Michaels tossed a bloody Joey Mercury into the steel once again. Cena took another turn and rammed Mercury’s face into the steel for a third time. He went for the FU soon after, but ended up getting into it with HBK instead. Michaels superkicked Mercury into an FU from Cena. 1…2…3! HBK and Cena retained at 15:05. After the match, the other tag teams attacked the champs. It was 6-on-2, but the opponents at Mania overcame the odds. Cena grabbed a chair and nailed Haas, but it appeared as if he might hit Michaels. The champ stormed off and a pissed off HBK followed close behind. (CMV1 rating- **). (CMV1 note- entertaining enough…I wonder when the tag titles will change hands)


Match 3: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
-Edge came to the ring in street clothes. He grabbed a mic and came into the ring. Edge said that he’d love nothing more than to beat the hell out of him, but being as they are in Washington, home of the Redskins, he isn’t about to perform in front of a bunch of people racist toward Native Americans. He then introduced the Great Khali. (CMV1 note- is Edge injured? If not, I wonder where this racist thing is going). Khali stepped into the ring and gave Jeff one of his unstoppable chops. He followed with a big boot and a two-handed chokeslam. Kane showed up, though, and brought the hook on a chain that was featured in his movie. Edge hightailed it and Khali followed suit. Kane tossed the hook onto the announce table and pulled it over on it’s side. Jeff and Khali wrestled to a no-contest. (CMV1 rating- n/a) (CMV1 note- will that hook be involved in the Khali-Kane match at Mania? That’d be more interesting than the regular match).


Backstage, Trump got his hair primped by Vince’s stylist. He asked her if Vince’s hair was real…


The fifth member of the 2007 WWE Hall of Fame is Mr. Fuji. He had a long career as a wrestler, but was best known as a manager.


Backstage, Mick Foley was interviewed. Foley hyped his book, apparently a national bestseller already. Ashley showed up and offered to trade her Playboy for his book. He said he didn’t want to look, but she ended up showing him anyway. Ron Simmons showed up for a “Damn!”


An amusing “Tale of the Tape” was shown for Donald and Vince. It included Vince’s weight as “more than Bob Costas” and Donald’s as “less than Rosie.” Backstage, Vince asked his stylist who had the better hair: him or Donald. Coach ran in and tried to suck up, but Vince told him to get lost.


Match 4: Women’s Champion Melina vs. Torrie
-In a short match, Melina beat Torrie w/ a roll-up. After the match, Mickie attacked Melina. Victoria came to Melina’s aid. Mickie got the best of her and attacked Melina again. Ashley came to the ring and got a piece of Melina, as well. (CMV1 rating- ½ *) (CMV1 note- Melina has better chemistry with Torrie than she does Mickie…weird)


Backstage, Edge told Vince that he should book Lashley vs. Orton for tomorrow night…Vince agreed. Edge said that if Orton happened to no show because of some sort of professional jealousy, then he ought to be thrown out of MITB…Vince agreed…(CMV1 note- interesting…)


Tomorrow night on ECW, the Originals face the New Breed in an “Everything goes Battle Royal,” plus Mick Foley appears…


Next week on Raw, it’s JBL vs. HBK and Benoit vs. John Cena on “Wrestlemania Reversal” night…(CMV1 note- nice! JBL returning to the ring!)


Contract Signing - Vince came to the ring, which had an office table and two chairs on either side of it. He slipped on the apron and got an earful from the crowd. He said they wouldn’t be laughing at Mania…at least not at him (they’d be laughing at Trump). Vince said the contract Donald was about to sign would not be a good deal for Trump. He said that wrestling is his world and that he wouldn’t be embarrassed…thanks to Umaga, who proceeded to make his way to the ring w/ Armando. With Team McMahon (so to speak) in the ring, we awaited the entrance of Donald Trump. McMahon teased what Donald must be thinking. Eventually, Donald made his way to the ring with Candice and Maria on each arm. Donald grabbed a mic, as the crowd chanted his name. McMahon told the crowd to shut up. Trump said that Vince’s grapefruits were no match for the Trump Towers. He told Vince to hold back Umaga because he’d be facing the test of his life at Mania. At that point, Trump introduced ECW Champion Bobby Lashley. Lashley came to the ring. With both Team McMahon and Team Trump (so to speak) in the ring, we awaited the entrance of Stone Cold. Vince told Lashley to back off. Trump said that they loved Bobby. Vince signed the contract, as the crowd chanted for Austin. Trump said that Bobby would kick Umaga’s ass and signed the contract. Vince brought up that 95% of the celebrities that they asked wanted to see Trump’s head shaved. Trump said that the people wanted to see Vince get his head shaved. At that point, Steve Austin finally showed up and saved what had become a sleep-inducing back and forth conversation b/t Trump and McMahon. Austin did his usual four-corner poses. He grabbed a mic and asked the crowd if they thought McMahon would shave Trump’s head. He then asked if they thought Trump would shave Vince’s head. Austin told Trump that he was standing in his ring and he hoped that he understood that. He said Trump better not try to fire him…that he shouldn’t get under his skin or piss him off, or else he’d whip his ass. The “WHAT?” chants ran wild. Austin noticed that Vince was enjoying his verbal assault on Trump, so he walked over and gave him a piece of his mind. It was 9-after at that point. Austin asked Vince if he had a problem with bald-headed people. The camera scrolled to Austin’s head…and then to Lashley’s head. Stone Cold grabbed Vince by the tie and told him that no matter who wins at Mania, someone would get their head shaved at Mania. Austin drank some beer and left. Vince re-iterated that he’d shave Trump’s head. Trump showed a picture of Vince with a bald-head. He asked Vince if he wanted a piece of him. He told Bobby to leave and taunted Vince. He said Vince about 300 times during the segment. It was 14-after at this point. McMahon stepped into the ring and poked Donald in the chest. He took his jacket off, but Donald pushed him across the table and sent him tumbling onto the mat. (CMV1 note- Wow, that was long and, despite a fairly entertaining promo by Austin, terribly boring. It went on and on and on some more and just never seemed to end. It was like the end of the last Lord of the Rings movie…every time I got up to do something else, it just kept on going)




All in all…This was an okay show that was, for a second straight week, hindered by a bad closing segment. There were a couple of decent matches on the show and some decent advancement of the Orton-Edge and HBK-Cena storylines, but that contract signing really sucked the life out of me. My God that was boring! Austin was good with his promo, though. I’m intrigued by Kane bringing out that hook-chain…I hope that, or something, gets used as a gimmick for the Kane-Khali match that we appear to be headed for. I’m giving this show a 3/10 and calling it a night…





Become a part of the United Wrestling Front:

United Wrestling Front Forums

Email me for details…



If you have any feedback for me, please email me at magicirish10@hotmail.com









• Maryse Looking as Sexy as Ever in Hot New Poses!
  

• Quick Links -
  [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]