DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu – No Way Out Review + Best Mic Worker Poll Results
Submitted by DaveyBoy on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 at 12:01 AM EST






THE WRESTLING MENU #219

Welcome one and all to the 219th edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.

Another Wednesday & another DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu. It’s been a busy week, but then again, every time I mention the word “poll”, it tends to be a busy week. Oh well, I got through it & I think I even responded to everyone.

It’s all happening in the WWE right now & the build-up on the ‘Road To WrestleMania’ continues. I don’t think it gathered any momentum via ‘No Way Out’, but that’s a topic I will get into in a moment.

Before I get into my column, I have to mention a prediction that a reader of mine sent in to me for my column #215 four weeks ago. Jason Jrg sent in the following: “Little Ba$tard will turn into Little Boogeyman”. Well, not quite, but damn close there Jason. Good get & who knows, Li’l Ba$tard could be forced to join the dark side soon. Or is he already on the dark side since he seconds the heel? I think the more relevant question is why the hell am I thinking about this?

On with the show.....


APPETIZERS – ‘No Way Out’ Review

For those that cannot recall my previous PPV review columns, this is the key that explains what the final PPV Rating means:

<50: Ask for a refund for not only your money, but also your time. [F] (Armageddon '04)
50-54: Mediocre & disappointing. [D] (EG: December To Dismember '06)
55-59: Average. [C] (EG: Cyber Sunday '06)
60-64: Worth A Watch. [C+] (EG: No Mercy '06)
65-69: Good event that was worth the money. [B] (EG: New Years Revolution '07)
70-74: Very good. [B+] (EG: Royal Rumble ‘07)
75-79: Make sure you add this ppv to your video or dvd collection. [A] (EG: One Night Stand '05)
80+ : Make sure that the video or dvd is locked in a safe & cannot be erased. Memorable. [A+]

CHRIS BENOIT & THE HARDYZ defeated MVP & MnM: All 6 men get to see action in the opening 2 minutes of the bout as Benoit chops away at MVP & Mercury says “no” to a tag. Jeff attempts to increase the pace, but ends up playing the face in peril to many heel double teams. A Whisper In The Wind allows him to tag brother Matt, who also increases the pace, only to fall victim to the cheating heels also. The hot tag is finally made to Benoit who cleans house & even hits a double German Suplex on both MnM members. A face finisher bonanza occurs next as a Poetry In Motion, Twist Of Fate, Swanton & Swan Dive headbutt has Mercury out, only for MVP to make the save. The bout breaks down here & no-one is sure who the legal men are. A messy ending involving a Snapshot attempt, sees Mercury eventually tap to Benoit’s crossface at the 14 minute mark.

Solid opener, but it didn’t flow as well as The Hardyz vs MnM tag matches of the past few months. The addition of 2 extra men probably didn’t help & it definitely wasn’t made any better by the fact that there was no history at all involving Benoit, MVP & the 2 teams. The lack of a reason for them to be involved really made me not care as much about the bout. This was surprisingly a little messy even & some of the key sequences looked a little too rehearsed for my liking. Still good though. Match Rating… 7

CHAVO GUERRERO defeated JIMMY WANG YANG, JAMIE NOBLE, GREGORY HELMS, SHANNON MOORE, FUNAKI, SCOTTY 2 HOTTY & DAIVARI in a CruiserWeight Open to Win the CruiserWeight Title: This was an 8 man Gauntlet match and Scotty 2 Hotty & Daivari were the first 2 men in the ring. Daivari gets little offense before Scotty hits the Worm for the opening pinfall within the first 2 minutes! Helms is surprisingly in next & takes out Scotty within another 2 minutes, before eliminating Funaki even quicker! Moore is out next & actually hits some nice high-flying offense, before falling victim to a superplex & a knee to the face. Jimmy Wang Yang is the next entrant & after a couple of decent minutes, he eliminates the champ with a head-scissors pinfall! Jamie Noble then brings his unique offense to the bout & the 2 mesh quite well. Yang progresses though with a nice moonsault.

At this stage, the commentators & ring announcer act as if Wang has won the title. That’s strange, since Chavo Guerrero was actually advertised for the bout. And here he comes entering last. Just short of 4 minutes of solid back & forth action follows before Yang misses a corkscrew moonsault & Chavo hits the frog splash for the title win at the 16 minute mark. The first 4 entrants practically could have been left off here & all those quick pinfalls really hurt the credibility of the match. There was definitely some good action scattered here & there (with Moore & Noble a nice slice of variety), but the match was never allowed to really settle down. Overall, it seemed rushed & had practically no story to it. And the finale was totally anti-climactic with a not so secret Chavo entering last & winning the title. Whoopee! Watchable in the usual cruiserweight way. Match Rating… 6

FINLAY & LITTLE BA$TARD defeated THE BOOGEYMAN & LITTLE BOOGEYMAN: Old Man Boogey dominates Finlay in the opening minutes & actually puts together some nice moves (shock horror)!!! He then takes a break by eating some worms as Little Boogey kicks Finlay while he is down. Little Ba$tard finally rolls up his sleeves (literally), but it’s Finlay who kicks the teeth out of the worm-eating little fella. In a nonsensical booking move, Finlay then wrestles with Little Boogey for a minute or so, even applying an arm-bar! The 2 larger men then go at it for a little while before Finlay cracks Little Boogey with his shillelagh for the pinfall at the 7 minute mark. Not as awful as it could have been, but still pretty bad. Little Ba$tard was fairly entertaining, while Boogey actually wrestled a little. But there was a lot of time-wasting & the Finlay vs Little Boogey stuff was ridiculous. I thought about passing it, but I can’t. Match Rating… 4.5

KANE defeated KING BOOKER: Lots of punches, kicks & clotheslines begin the match as Kane starts off dominating. A trip to ringside sees Booker get in some offense & he follows up in the ring with a nice top-rope missile dropkick. An armlock resthold predictably follows before Kane fights back with more punches, kicks & clotheslines! Kane then goes for a top-rope clothesline, but Booker nicely counters with a back kick. The King follows up with a nice flying forearm for a 2 count, before getting the same result with a side-kick. Booker then misses his finishing Ax-Kick, which allows Kane to hit a big clothesline & a dozen or so punches. A top-rope clothesline follows & a chokeslam finishes the bout at the 13 minute mark. Pedestrian & overlong bout where these 2 really seemed to be going through the motions. Booker hit a couple of nice moves, but even he can’t seem to string moves together these days. I am a fan of Kane, but he really phoned this one in with nothing but strikes. Far too little action for 13 minutes worth. Barely passable. Match Rating… 5

PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK defeated DEUCE & DOMINO to Retain the WWE Tag-Team Championships: Some nice intensity between Domino & London kicks things off before Kendrick quickens the pace. London is eventually isolated in the ring by both heels who regularly tag in & out. The hot tag eventually comes to Kendrick, who runs around like a headless chook while hitting moves galore. He gets a close 2 count with a unique rollup, but is successful a minute or so later after narrowly avoiding a Doomsday Device & gaining the pinfall at the 8 minute mark via a roll-through. Decent tag-team match that was badly let down by a lack of crowd involvement. D & D have potential & garner decent heel heat, but still have a little while to go. They really could do with better build-up in their feuds & even some more mic time. London played the face in peril for too long in such a short bout, while this match should have been more back & forth, allowing the face champs to get in more offense. Match Rating… 6

KEN KENNEDY defeated BOBBY LASHLEY by Disqualification in a Match for the ECW World Title: Kennedy attacks Lashley before the bell as the 2 wrestle in the entrance-way for a minute or so. Back in the ring, Lashley begins to work his way on top with punches & clotheslines before gaining a 2 count with a delayed vertical suplex. The champ even breaks out a torture rack, before KK dropkicks Lashley’s knee & goes to work on it. He breaks out that unique submission hold that he used at the Rumble, before using other various leg-based restholds. This only makes the crowd act even more as if this is a heel vs heel match, as they are silent while appearing to be busy doing other things. Following minutes on end of Kennedy offense (including a 2 count from a DDT), Lashley gets his knees up on the Kenton & then hits a couple of throws before gaining a nearfall with a torture rack into a backbreaker.

A subsequent ref bump allows the heel to score with a low-blow & a chair-shot, but Lashley then scores with his own chair-shot for a DQ loss at the 16 minute mark. A’la the corresponding bout at the Royal Rumble PPV, a weak Lashley aftermath fails to save face for a disappointing finale & result. Overlong… Especially for a match that practically had no build-up to make the fans care about either man in the feud. While the KK leg-work was decent, it lasted way too long. Minimal crowd involvement was the result & that hurt the match badly. These 2 surprisingly didn’t seem to mesh well at all, and the anti-climactic & unoriginal finish capped off what was a very disappointing bout. I’ll be nice & pass it, but only just! Match Rating… 5

DIVA TALENT INVITATIONAL Won by Ashley Massaro: The Miz hosts this talent contest of sorts as Extreme Expose kick things off with a dance routine, before Jillian Hall talks for what seems like an eternity around singing a line or two of a song. Somewhere in her mindless babble, she offends Candace, Maria & Ariel (Torrie must have been off being annoyed by Mitch), so they run down & start a catfight. Why the ECW trio were on Jillian’s side is beyond me! Ashley then enters & stops this crap by basically flashing her breasts (covered by bunny-shaped tape). Even they couldn’t save this horrible segment though! 10 minutes in length & it’s not difficult to work out how I arrived at my segment rating! Segment Rating… 2

SHAWN MICHAELS & JOHN CENA defeated BATISTA & THE UNDERTAKER: Long entrances for each man precede Batista using his greater strength to get the better of Cena early on. He even hits a jackhammer for a 2 count! The Animal continues the momentum against HBK & then tags out to ‘Taker who works on Michaels’ arm to set up old-school. Cena gets tagged in & hits a nice superplex on the dead man before tagging out to HBK, who gets press-slammed out of the ring! A (Deuce-like) running big boot to the face by Batista gets a 2 count as HBK goes into full face in peril mode. A DDT by Michaels out of nowhere leads to a hot tag to Cena who gets a nearfall with an impressive top-rope fameasser. Undertaker then upsets an F-U attempt, while HBK plays spoiler on a Batista Bomb attempt. HBK then gets a 2 count on Batista with an enziguri, as the big fella gets busted open. Cena locks on the STF-U, only to have The Undertaker break it up. HBK is then tagged in & hits his top-rope elbow-drop, but misses Sweet Chin Music, leading up to the hot tag to the phenom who cleans house.

The action is everywhere following this, with the SmackDown duo taking control. But following a simultaneous chokeslam & spine-buster, Batista turns on his partner with a spine-buster that leaves ‘Taker open for Sweet Chin Music & an F-U for the pinfall at the 22 minute mark. Exceptionally solid main-event that was booked very well, if a little unimaginatively. All men were used well & no-one hindered the bout at all, as the dynamic between the 4 was good (which is a good sign for both singles matches at WrestleMania). I liked the structure of the match & the good length seemed to fly by. The semi heel turn by Batista was a nice touch to finish things off. Match Rating… 8

PPV RATING (43.5/80) = 54

Looking at the key, I have basically given the 2006 version of 'No Way Out' a 'D grade & said that it was ‘mediocre & disappointing‘. I really can’t think of 2 better words to sum up this pay-per-view to be honest. It’s definitely not the worst ppv event ever, but it was so disappointing that I could see how some fans could consider that. Maybe my expectations were too high & with the lack of build-up to most bouts, maybe they shouldn’t have been. But with The Road To WrestleMania progressing well, it was hard not to expect a good show. The WWE must learn that they can’t just throw match-ups onto a ppv card at the last minute & expect fans to care. It’s as simple as that!

But here, even a bout like Kane vs Booker, which had been built up sufficiently, failed to deliver. The opening & main-event matches were solid & that was about it really. The rest was predominantly sufficient & nothing more, leading to the event just gaining a pass mark overall. Just to top it off, poor Michael Cole did all he could do to trudge through commentary while practically losing his voice. Towards the end of the broadcast, JBL basically took on the role as lead commentator & that didn’t really suit him. Not to mention that JBL wasn’t on top of his game on the night anyway. The best example was his “I may learn to speak Spanish” line only moments after his complaint of “tell the Spanish commentators to speak English!”


MAIN

Best Mic Performer Poll Results

As you could probably tell from the introduction to this column, I received a good amount of votes for this poll. It wasn’t quite up to the record of 360 votes that I received for my ‘Best Entrance Theme’ poll that I held last May, but it was still a decent amount.

At the end of the day, I fell about 3 votes short of 300. I decided to round it up to that figure by asking 3 LOP Forum members that I knew had not voted, so please keep in mind that 300 votes was the total number received when noting how many votes a wrestler received. Those votes were spread over 23 men.

So… Did the results surprise me…??? I have to say that they did. I did expect the winner & I did think it would be by a clear-cut margin, but I couldn’t have imagined how big a margin it would be. Plus, I could not have imagined that the superstar in question would receive over a quarter of the votes! That’s astonishing!

Just a couple of housekeeping points before we get into the results:

- Many people used different criteria for their choices, but I think the broad consensus was that those who could work as both heels & faces, as well as in different situations, were the ones who stood out.

- Some people were not certain whether you had to be a wrestler to be eligible. I never stated anything about this & therefore, I had no problems with non-wrestlers receiving votes. In fact, one top ten place-getter is fully deserving to be in that spot.

So without further adieu, here are the poll results to the question: Who is the best ever mic performer...??? I will list & briefly comment on the top 10 mic performers who received over 10 votes, while only listing those superstars that received less than 10 votes.

(1) – THE ROCK = 84 Votes: Yep, you read that right; 84 of the 300 votes received went to Rocky Maivia. Wow! That’s quite a phenomenal result. The detractors stated that The Rock was catchphrase happy, which is difficult to argue with. But looking past that fact, The Rock had it all otherwise. He could work as both a heel & a face (although he was better as a heel in my opinion), while adapting to different situations perfectly. Meanwhile, he had that unbelievable ability to talk at an amazingly fast pace, while still being very clear & not tripping over his words.

(2) – Mick Foley = 33: Gaining 11% of the vote, this was a great result for Foley. The main reason he received so many votes to reach 2nd place in this poll is because he worked the mic well as so many different characters, in so many different situations, for so many wrestling promotions. That’s a reasoning that’s difficult to argue with! Detractors state their annoyance at his cheap pops, while others also feel that he required lots of time to get his point across. Foley was arguably responsible for 2 of the best ever promos during his ECW tenure.

(3) – Chris Jericho = 24: This man’s popularity continues to surprise me. He polled better than I thought he would in the entrance theme poll & does even better here. I’m not saying he is not top 10 material, but being voted into 3rd position is very high. Whether as a heel or a face, Jericho’s mic shtick never failed to entertain. Obviously, many fans want to see him return to the wrestling ring sooner rather than later.

(4) – Hulk Hogan = 19: I actually wasn’t certain how well Hogan would poll here as it’s quite difficult to split his mic work from his obvious charisma & ability to connect with audiences. The other thing against him was that he was the wrestler who probably has had the most mic time ever in the history of the WWE. Did he get the most out of that time? I suppose these results suggest he did to a large extent.

(5) – ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper = 18: Similarly to Hogan, it’s difficult to split Piper’s character from his mic work. Personally, I felt that Roddy was tremendous on the mic (prior to the 1990’s) & he was used in the upper half of a card partially because of his ability on the mic alone. He often turned what could have been ho-hum feuds into show-stealers just because he made fans care. This was especially the case as a heel, but he also did have some success as a face.

(6T) – ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin = 17: I personally found a lot of Austin’s mic work at the height of his career to be over-rated. He was booked well in some hot feuds, while his character took off. But I wouldn’t have said his mic work was exceptional. Yet, it was probably under-rated before that, so I suppose he adapted to the different situations well. One huge negative from my perspective was the annoying “What?” chants that still frustrate me occasionally to this very day.

(6T) – Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts = 17: Almost everyone that voted for Jake stated that efficiency was the key here. Jake could pretty much convey any emotion that was required so effortlessly. Many of the extras on his DVD prove this & he deserves such a high rating here. I do believe that Jake also worked well as both a heel & a face because of his efficiency on the mic.

(8T) – Ric Flair = 16: I must say that I thought Flair would be higher on this list, simply due to his longevity. I also think that his better promos are right up there with the best of all time. Maybe he has given so many promos that the good have mixed in with the bad to produce some sort of average overall result. The one thing that was great about Flair was that he could really make you believe & get involved in a feud.

(8T) – Shawn Michaels = 16: HBK is a tough one to categorize for mine. He probably doesn’t stand out like some others above him on this list, but he does his job on the mic satisfactorily & consistently. It doesn’t really matter what the situation is, HBK can do it. He has been further tested of late with the return to the DX shenanigans & now another face vs face feud with John Cena.

(10) – Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan = 12: It’s really great to see Heenan on this list & if I had specifically mentioned non-wrestlers last week when asking the poll question, I could see him gaining a few extra votes. Whether it was as a manager or commentator, Heenan’s command of the microphone was exemplary. The fact that he often overshadowed the wrestling talent pretty much sums up how good on the mic he was, as that was pretty much all he had to get over.

(11) – Eddie Guerrero = 8

(12) – John Cena = 7

(13) – Triple H = 6

(14) – Edge = 5

(15) – Ken Kennedy = 4

(16T) – Kurt Angle = 3
(16T) – ‘The Million Dollar Man’ Ted Dibiase = 3

(18T) – Bret Hart = 2
(18T) – Raven = 2

(20T) – Carlito = 1
(20T) – Terry Funk = 1
(20T) – ‘Road Dogg’ Jesse James = 1
(20T) – ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage = 1

So there you have the results. If anyone is wondering what my personal opinion is, I couldn’t look past The Rock as well. His command/control of the microphone was unequalled & the man could do anything on the mic if he put his mind to it. I’d probably have Piper just ahead of Foley for 2nd position. Piper was a personal favorite & I think he did a lot of the difficult nitty-gritty work on the mic throughout his career. I have yet to view his DVD though, so my opinion could change (either way) on him in the future. As for Foley, he deserves a mention from a variety perspective. So many characters, so many situations & so many wrestling promotions.


DESSERT

The Progress Of Mic Work

I indirectly received a very good idea for a column topic related to the ‘Best Mic Performer’ poll from a reader (thanks again Bryan). It basically came in question & answer format & pretty much asked whether the microphone abilities of wrestlers have got better or worse as time has progressed. It’s actually quite a tough question to answer & needs some time to reach a conclusion. And even then, I’m unsure there is a clear-cut answer!

I think the immediate response that most fans would give is that mic work has generally gone downhill as the years have passed. I have nothing to back that opinion up, but it’s just the overall feeling that I get. But thinking about it more deeply, I’m unsure that this conclusion is correct. Even if it is, there are so many other factors at play that it’s difficult to draw a line through what is being compared to what. In the next couple of paragraphs, I will take a look at some of those other factors…..

I think the reduction in the number of managers plays a huge part nowadays. Mic work specifically by wrestlers may be seen to have been better in the 1980’s because the inferior mic workers were well-hidden by managers or other mouthpieces of some sort. Even if it was only for part of their careers, this is relevant. Look at someone like Bret Hart, who was very iffy on the mic during his early days in the WWE. Fortunately, his weaknesses were hidden by his manager Jimmy Hart. Then, as time progressed & Bret slowly became more confident on the microphone, he broke free form his manager & became his own mouthpiece.

But where are the managers today? Armando Alejandro Estrada does a great job for Umaga, while Melina helps out Johnny Nitro occasionally. But that’s about it. Even someone like Ashley Massaro, who accompanies London & Kendrick to the ring on many occasions, doesn’t speak for them. So basically, wrestlers who aren’t great on the mic these days either stink up a segment where they get to speak or are simply kept off the microphone entirely. Either way, it doesn’t help their careers at all.

This may sound strange, but another disadvantage for the modern day wrestlers is that they no longer have the old ‘WWF Superstars’ (or the NWA equivalent) television show to showcase their ability on the mic & attempt to improve. I was actually reminded of this fact last week on SmackDown when King Booker & Queen Sharmell performed their cheesy ‘At The Movies’ segment. This was a very hit & miss promo & I’m certain that some fans thought it funny, while others felt it was horrible.

But the thing that such a segment and many promos & vignettes that would be aired on the old ‘Superstars’ show would do was give an opportunity to everyone on the roster (from top to bottom) to show what they could do on the mic & attempt to improve. Sure, some of the promos were terrible. But at least we would then know for sure if that guy couldn’t work the mic. Right now, I wouldn’t know if a quarter of the roster were good or bad on the mic. We presume they are bad because they aren’t given the mic, but I’d rather see for myself. I use the example of Doug Basham here, as I always thought he did the little things that suggested that he would be good on the mic. But I can’t prove it because the WWE didn’t allow him the opportunity to prove me right or wrong during his tenure with the company.

The modern-day wrestlers have also had to adapt to different motives & objectives by the WWE of late. I get the strong feeling that the WWE simply want their talent to entertain these days. Proof of this is seen in the increased number of what I will call ‘wandering the locker-room’ backstage segments. These often seem to provide no real purpose but to entertain us. And, to be honest, I’m uncertain that they really help to markedly improve the talent on the mic. Sure, a great & natural mic worker, will always take these opportunities & stand out. But what of those that actually need to be taught & given time to improve?

I say go back to the good old days of straight-up promos & interviews… It wouldn’t even bother me if they were taped & not live. It would give many wrestlers the opportunity to improve their confidence on the microphone & who knows what can happen from there. Furthermore, I feel that feuds would be better built up & seem more important if this technique was used more often. And what an opportune time it is for me to state this opinion, seeing as though the build-up to the ‘No Way Out’ pay-per-view was what I would call below average.

Oh yeah, what’s my answer to the question of whether or not mic work has got better or worse over time? Ummm, after all that, I’m unsure that there is a clear-cut answer. Looking at the top 10 mic workers from my poll, I don’t think there is anything definitive there either. So leave me alone while I sit on the fence. Or better yet, my answer is that it has remained of the same quality. I think that should get me off the hook!


Ok, that’s #219 in the books. I hope you all enjoyed it. Whether or not it is regarding my PPV review, my poll results or my discussion on whether or not mic work has got better or worse over time, if you would like to provide feedback, you may do so by emailing me on DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com. But if you are an LOP Forums member, it would be much appreciated if you could leave feedback on my thread at http://www.lopforums.com/showthread.php?t=217&page=4. I should be able to reply to all feedback.

I have to be honest here folks, I have absolutely no idea what I will be writing about in next Wednesday’s ‘Wrestling Menu’. I think I have spoken enough on the WrestleMania 23 card of late, while also delving into the poll, DVD Review & general topic basket as well. And it’s a good 5 weeks before I can predict another pay-per-view! Don’t worry though, I’m probably still getting over this column & simply haven’t looked forward as yet. I will most likely continue my weekly streak by coming up with something. As per usual, my column will be posted at the same Wednesday time on the same LOP channel. Until then, this is DaveyBoy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.


DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu. 2002-2007

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