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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Monday, December 18, 2006 at 3:55 AM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Rumble In The Bank Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! The column that supports DDP against Jay Z. While it lasts. Suing rappers is never a smart thing, as countless music executives can testify. Or not. They know better than to open their mouths. Good luck DDP. I hope you left a last will and testament in a safe and secure location. Just in case you vanish. Meanwhile, I’m sure that Kimberly is looking forward to her appearance in a Jay Z video as a hoochie. Well, time is of the essence. The trip to Vegas was a blast, and won some money on the Bears game. Very nice. Now, for the next one. Just a reminder, but there will be no column next week. I’ll be in Chicago, my true home. No net, no cable, just as primitive as can be. But, when I come back, it will be the Fourth Annual Bossman Awards. The only awards column that looks more at Sports Entertainment, and real world happenings than match quality. And brother, we got plenty this year. Kevin Federline, WWE movies, and music, let us not forget the music. So much to cover, and I’ll have plenty of time to go back and relive the memories. And then write about it. That’s the future, and lets focus on the present. WWE TV – The Series Raw Recap courtesy of Chad Matthews Show opens with Cena. On a side note, the ratings breakdowns seems to have stopped being released to the place I used to get them. Oh, I get the finals and hourly numbers, but the segment by segment? Nah-uh. Hm. Wonder why? Oh, and I do get the Smackdown one, but that’s network TV. Cena Opens the Show. Cena is in the ring, and out comes Armando, Allejandro, Estrada. Armando tried to talk his way out of it, first by offering cigars, and then by giving Cena the watch off his own wrist, and finally, with cold hard cash. Well, Cena broke the cigars, broke the watch, and gave away the money, and then attacked Armando and beat him up in short order. A very good skit. Cena put Armando in his submission move, and Nitro came out to make the save. Carlito and Lawler vs Masters and Viscera Jerry has been seeing a lot of action lately. And you know what? I’m getting kind of tired of seeing Jerry beat up people week after week. It’s about time Jerry started doing some jobbing. Jerry has two hours every week to put himself over. He’s an announcer after all. Oh, and guess who won? Cryme Tyme Played Three Card Monty with the Highlanders. Charlie Haas spouted off, and Shelton showed up, and the Worlds Greatest Tag Team is back in action. Now that’s cool. Kenny begs And gets rejected. Which sparked this: Tangent I find it funny that once again, Edge has to save the career of another of H’s victims. Edge was brought in to bring some heat back to Cena. Because H was sucking the life out of him. Edge was brought in to revive Orton. In a way. Now, they have been saddled with a member of the Spirit Squad, who have been crushed utterly by DX. Now, it’s up to Edge to try and make something out of him, character wise. Randy is there too, but come on. It’s Randy Orton. Not known for his charisma. Ring work, and occasional promo, yes, but charisma? No. Anyway, I think it’s funny that DX gets Ric Flair, and Orton-Edge get Kenny, who has talent, but is being portrayed as a lackey, and goof. While with Ric, it’s kinda of the same thing, but Ric still has his aura. To build up DX. In other words, Ric, a plus, Kenny a minus. I think it should be flip flopped. Ric should turn heel, and Kenny should go with DX. Seriously, Ric turning on DX would be a huge boost to Rated RKO. Kenny turning on Rated RKO would do the same thing, all he would have to do is call them a bunch of assholes. See, I still think the goal should be to build up Rated RKO, not DX. DX doesn't need it. Tangent #2 I know, you probably read the above tangent, and thought to yourself “here goes Wevv again with his bashing of Triple H. Well, I happen to LIKE Triple H!” Well, good for you. See, I don't find fault with people liking H the wrestler. H can be a very entraining fellow. Both on the mic and when he wrestles. Like whoever you want to. Hey, like I can talk about people’s choice in wrestlers. I’m a Mark Henry and Big Show supporter from back in the day when it was very uncool to like Big Show. But my dislike is primarily based on his decisions about how the business should be run. H does have a say I them. H is management. H has a say in how matches go down, how they’re booked, and who gets what push. He does. Vince has the final say, but H is the guy sitting next to him on the corporate jet, right next to Steph probably. You know, when the decisions and plans are made. H is in those creative meetings. H helps run the show. And H is the guy who is laying out his angles. You really think it’s pure chance that H never looks weak in recent angles? Come on. That is my biggest beef with H. H could and should do more to help the business as a whole. He should be trying to make his opponents look strong. Instead, they look like pussies and incompetent twits. They get stuffed into a deep hole and have to try and claw their way out. Usually with H throwing dirt on them. Come on, when you heard that H was going to face Edge in a singles match, did you think that Edge was going to win? Beyond a brief flicker of possibility? Probably not, you thought Edge might get a fluke pin, and then DX would beat them down. Or that H would win, and then Rated RKO would beat them down, and HBK would rush in to make the save. In other words, not really. You’ve seen in before. It’s 2002 through 2004 all over again. And H, who should know better, and supposedly, has a good head for the business of wrestling, keeps booking himself on top. Almost the same thing with me about Undertaker. Undertaker has a lot of clout. More than people think he does. Vince thinks of him as the locker room leader, and that means that Taker is management is all but title. And people give Hogan crap for this. But H gets to slide. Cripes. At least Hogan makes the WWE money. WITHOUT the constant push. He just shows up. Edge vs H Slow match, with lots of punching and kicking from H. A minute and a half later, Orton runs out. H wins by DQ. BWAH-HA HA HA! A minute and a half? Jeez. Looks like H is suffering from Scott Steiner syndrome. Everyone else comes out and we get a six-man match. Finish was H saving the day, with his sledgehammer. K-Fed Was on the phone. Nitro then learned he has a match against Cena and was forgotten about. Much like real life with the tabloids. Ah, WWE, you should have pulled the trigger on K-Fed for Survivor Series. Back when Britney was showing her cooch. Jeff Hardy vs Umaga Brutal match, and solid action. Umaga beat Jeff so bad, the ref stopped the match. Cena vs Nitro Another good match to end the show. Cena won. Yeah, Raw had some good spots. A better show than last week, and aside from the DX goofiness, and over protection, it was a solid show. Even Ron Simmons saying Damn, and Torrie kissing Carlito (A Spirit Squad member? Come on honey. That can't be true.) And next week, we have a three-hour Raw, with a Royal Rumble. Yep, a thirty man battle royal. Gotta boost those ratings some how. Since WWE is getting bumped by the Dog Show. In February no less, but still. Ouch. ECW Has been moved to Saturday. Smackdown Recap Info courtesy of Rudi Pavani I pretty much just skilled the show. The first hour was pretty good, and then the rest of the show was hype for Sunday, and the PPV. So, I’ll just throw some thoughts out there. Cena Speaks And makes gay jokes about Michael Cole. Not that good. Thanks Chris, oops, sorry, CHRIS DEJOESPHS! Jimmy Yang and Kendrick and London vs Helms and Regal and Taylor No chick. She got fired. For having “Sable-itus” or something. Good thing they hired her in the first place. She can be replaced. The match was pretty solid, and Jimmy got some good moves in against Helms. Regal and Taylor just leave, and Jimmy gets the win. Matt Hardy vs Joey Mercury Another good match. Way too short, but good for what it was. I started flipping channels at this point. On my flip back, I saw Undertaker sitting in the hearse, laughed, and flipped away. Another flip back, and I caught glimpse of Vito and well, that was it. Sorry, but cable won out. Sorry, busy week. And I warned you Michael Hayes. Management is now paying close attention to your show. Good luck man. I did catch some of TNA, and what I saw, I really liked. So, TNA Recap courtesy of me. Bobby Roode opened the show He was upset with Tracy Brooks, who is pretty hot. Apparently, at the PPV, he lost. I didn't watch the PPV, so am not sure. And it gets hazy, because, well, just hold on. Angle Speaks Angle lost apparently, and has gone Just Plain Nuts. He chases Bobby and Brooks out of the ring, and calls out Samoa Joe. Samoa Joe tweaked his knee at the PPV, so he ain’t wrestling. Angle goes nuts after the Samoan tells him no on the screen. He goes after Don West. West said that Angle said he would give a rematch, and that would be it. West is cowering in terror, while Tenay looks on. Great camera work. And I saw West’s promos over the Thanksgiving holidays, and my opinion of him has risen. The guy is hilarious. Angle attacks Don, and slaps the ankle lock on him. West is writhing in pain, while TENAY CALLS THE ACTION! That’s comedy. Security comes out and watches Don writhe. It is impressive. We then get the opening credits. Close up of Mike Tenay, and Tenay is wooden, and says what happens and then we get a camera shot of Done West STILL WRITHING IN PAIN! Right in front of the fucking booth. Oh man, that cracked me up. I haven't laughed that long in long time. Priceless. Just priceless. So, what happens next? We get a match. Abyss vs Ron Killings More Russoisms, as a shot of Sting in the rafters keeps getting played. Ron goes after Mitchell and Abyss sneaks up on him and gets the pin. Sometime during this match, Don West is hauled out back and shot. I heard the guy missed on his first attempt. Poor Don. Jim Cornette joins Mike in the booth. Tyson Tomko and Christian get Interviewed Some hot blonde chick. I’ll say this about Russo, he knows about hot chicks. Maybe not how to use them, but at least he puts them on TV. Tyson is a badass, and so is Christian is the gist of it. Christopher Daniels vs Petey Williams Solid match. Sabin runs in. Then Jerry Lynn. Daniels sneaks a win. VKM They offer a million dollars for DX to show up. Or Vince. Not sure who, but they should show up and just take the money. Hey, that’s a Sting and an Angle. For a year. DX would get a million for five minutes of work. Take THAT TNA! We come back with a shot of So-Cal Val’s ass. I ain't complaining. Angle then attacks the chick and Cornette decides it’s time to stop this. He talks to Angle. Angle listens. Nice bit. Borash interviews America’s Most Wanted Dude has an eyepatch. I smell pirate gimmick coming. RUSSO GOTS AN IDEA! AMW w/ Gail Kim vs LAX w/ Konan Winner, AMW. On the manager scoreboard. Solid match, Konan is in a cage for some reason. Still laughing about Don West. Man, that was hilarious. I can still see Tenay standing in the booth, calling the action, while Don West just lays there twitching. That’s comedy. AMW loses the match and must split up. One of the cowboys turns on his partner, for no apparent reason. RUSSO! Christian Speaks Abyss has a secret, and Christian knows what it is. Does it involve a prom night, an unlucky deer and necrophilia? Because if it does, then I know it too. Abyss attacks and runs off Christian. Sting comes down and the power of Jesus compels Abyss to turn on Mitchell. OK, there was a lot of unintentional comedy in this show, and I loved every second of it. But, on the other hand, the terror of being Russoized seemed to spark some great work. Seriously, a lot of strong promos. A lot of solid action. The endings sucked, but before that, no complaints and some compliments. I have no idea where things are going. I mean, I see where they COULD go, but that means nothing with Russo. Damn, I can't wait until the next show. I was really hoping that an injured Don West was going to be forced back into the booth, and be moaning to Mike about not helping. That would have been classic. ECW Recap courtesy of Eddie Martin RVD vs Test Test wins. That’s just wrong. Matt Striker Speaks And is boring. CM Punk vs Bob Holly Punk wins, but it’s by DQ. Holly doesn't break on the refs count. Punk does get to beat down Holly. Tommy Dreamer vs Khali Yikes that thought is just scary. Davairi comes out instead, but Khali does come out and beat up Tommy. Lashley vs Heyman’s Enforcers Bobby wins. Yeah, nothing special on this show. The RVD match was pretty good, and Test was trying to keep up, but still, it’s Test, and well, good luck. Holly looks like he’s just hating life. It’s been a while since he’s wrestled this long. Moving the show to Saturday didn't help. It was a show that seemed to be trying to build something, but is using the wrong pieces. Hey, Armageddon results! AMRAGEDDON! Recap Courtesy of Chad “The Man” Matthews Kane beat MVP in an Inferno Match Fatal Fourway ladder match – Hardys vs MNM vs Regal and Taylor vs London and Kendrick SURPRISE! Something that would make you buy the PPV. London and Kendrick win. Boogey beat Miz Benoit beat Chavo Helms beat Yang Undertaker beat Kennedy in a Last Ride match. Cena and Batista beat Booker and Finlay. Oh, yeah, three hours tomorrow night. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Tournaments and Title Shots The Royal Rumble is just over a month away. It’s also that time of year when folks start thinking about year-end columns and awards are handed out. The end of the year is the time for reflection. One year down, another on the way, and where in life are we going? Well, at least until the booze kicks in, and the hangovers the next day turn the philosophical question of our existence to “How much did I drink last night?” and “ I did what?” January was once a month for wrestlers to get some time off, rest up, and for management to come up with some long term booking ideas, to carry them on to the big show. This year, it’s different. This year, there have been more PPV’s in a span on time than ever before. There have also been a lot of overseas tours, not just to foreign countries like Australia, but to Iraq. Those events, especially Iraq, take a lot of planning, at least in terms of travel, and take up a lot of time. The rest period has been reduced dramatically. Once, and still considered the first step on the Road to Wrestlemania, the Rumble winner traditionally gets a title shot at Wrestlemania. Planning went into angles that would be created previous to the Rumble and hopefully, last beyond, to fill the void between the Rumble and Wrestlemania. This year, we’re getting an early Rumble on a three-hour Raw. The winner of this match apparently gets a title shot of his choice. Just like the Rumble. Interesting that this match is taking place now. Of course, it may just be a test run for January. To see what kind of Rumble they may be looking at. The Rumble winner goes to Wrestlemania. This Raw Rumble winner can presumably take his shot whenever. I’m not exactly clear on that, and am too lazy at the moment to look it up. The ideal situation with the Rumble is to see which young talent gets to make an impressive stand. They may not win, but many Rumble participants get the start of a solid push coming out of the Rumble. The past two Rumble winners were solid, but this year, the crop of potential new stars seems thin. On Smackdown, the top guys all seem locked together. Batista, Booker, Finlay, and that’s about it. Lashley has gone to ECW, but over there, there’s only RVD to really match him. Sabu is there, but not really. On Raw, it’s the DX show. Cena and Umaga are there, but other than that, nothing has really been made of the title landscape. Masters was the chosen one, only a few short months ago, and now, he’s jobbing to Lawler. This pre-Rumble on Raw seems to have no purpose, other than the mentioned Royal Rumble preview. But I have been thinking more and more about a new tournament. The Money In The Bank match at Wrestlemania. That match has been used twice now to start impressive angles. Edge used it against Cena. RVD used his shot to jump start ECW’s relaunch. This year? There are plenty of stars waiting to break out, they just need a big angle to get them going. Guys like Carlito have been spinning their wheels. The Money In The Bank match is a narrower field than the Royal Rumble. It’s a select few. That makes a big difference. The past has been about guys being thrown into he match and taking it from there. They get a big stage to work on. Past Bank matches have delivered, while the Rumble really hasn’t. Now, with three brands to work with, the Rumble could be something different. It could be quite a mix of talent, and depending on who is actually in it, it might reclaim that surprise feeling. That moment of disbelief, that the guy who was getting the big push could win it all. That the Rumble could make a difference. And that difference, not just for the winner, could be made at Wrestlemania, where the Money In The Bank match could solidify a new star. The Rumble is about opportunity. About working with talent that a wrestler may not normally work with. About showing charisma on a crowded stage. Now, they may only get two minutes to do it, but angles and pushes have been resulted from less. The Rumble decides who the #1 Contender is. That’s basically it. Then the battle over that Contendership carries over to Wrestlemania. There is a PPV in February after all, and at this rate, there could be seven in that short month. So, after all this rambling, what’s the point? The point is that I’m trying to put a positive spin on things. See, this pre-Rumble might be WWE looking for that next big star. That fresh face who could carry the company through the next year. The one that the company builds around. Sure, it’s just a Raw Only Rumble, but with the entire brand-jumping going on, it could theoretically be anyone. But the best possible scenario is that by having an early Rumble, WWE will be able to plan out the Real Rumble, and make the most of it. Not just throw guys in there, and have their favorites throw out the rest, after they hit a few spots. Then, the guys who did show something, but not win, well, they can go on, with a nice push and angle development, on to the Money In The Bank match, where they can really shine and stand out, and from there, use the Summer, and the rating spike that time period usually brings, to build towards a brighter future. New talent has always been a rallying cry of the disgruntled and bored wrestling fan. We’ve had a lot of new faces show up and show us some potential. But WWE seems to have fallen into a rut. Cena has been on top for a long time. He’s still got plenty of life left in his run. Booker got a nice long time to really show what he can do when he gets a chance. Nitro was a damn good IC champion. Jeff Hardy has been impressive upon his return, but then again, he’s not really a new face is he? And there’s the rub. Title changes are few and far between now. How many “longest reigning champions” have there been? Quite a few. There was a time that the title changed hands frequently and fans complained. Then the title stayed on the same guy for too long. Now, a balance has been nearly, not quite, but very close, been achieved, with how long a champion should hold a belt. Title shots have been given out, but usually to the same group of people. Wrestling is a sport and sport is about competition. The Rumble is a big contest, with plenty of participants. The Money In The Bank is the cream of the crop, potentially. There have been tournaments, and challenges, but out of that, few have made it this far, when the spectacle of the tournament has worn off. Now, it’s back to competition, or at least the illusion of competition, and I’m not talking about the matches being predetermined, but about the potential for that guy you root for, who never gets a shot, to actually get a shot. Well, at least until the bell rings. And that’s all for today. No long goodbyes, just quick plugs and I’ll be back in two weeks. Happy Holidays Everyone! QUICK PLUGS! LOP FORUMS New and Improved! The latest Sports, Entertainment news! What are you waiting for? LOP COLUMNS FORUM THE MOVIE BAR! Great place for reviews of DVD's, Music, and special video clips. Your one stop review spot. THE PROJECT LIVES! A creative site for creative people. Be sure to check out the forums! The Rose Reports A great site for politcal news links. LOP'S PWA E-FED. Best E-Fed on the net. Period. That's all for this week. Thanks for Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com - PLEASE LABEL ALL EMAIL AS FEEDBACK. THANK YOU. *NEW GALLERY* Very HOT Photos of Alicia Webb aka X-Pac's Sexy Girlfriend!
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