|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Wevv Mang on Monday, October 30, 2006 at 1:12 AM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – What About Wrestlemania? Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. The column that JBL wishes was about Finance, so he could plagiarize it and write another book. I did read JBL’s latest book. He suggests investing heavily in Enron. Good advice. That and Worldcom. Great investments according to JBL. I do have some financial advice for Bradshaw to give to his customers. Krispy Kreme. Great investment. Howdy folks! Welcome back to the K-Fed love fest. Well, the IWC was quick to point out that Federline's appearance did nothing to spark ratings this week. That’s not a bad thing. But it’s not a good thing either. It‘s right there in the middle. Why? Well, I’ll have some reader mail and my response in today’s very special OAW. And Halloween is right around the corner. So, will there be a Kane’s House? There just might be. But probably not. Let’s just get down to business, and take a look at this week’s wrestling. WWE TV – The Series Raw < a href=http://www.lordsofpain.net/news/2006_/articles/1161659619.phpRecap Courtesy of Chad Matthews The show is live from Chicago. And they get Kevin Federline right off the bat. Lucky bastards. K-Fed Speaks Federline says he wants revenge on Cena. He tries to get heat by insulting the Cubs, saying they suck, but more than anyone, Chicago knows just how true that is. The Cubs suck ass. So, no go. He then tries the Bears, and that gets a response. To help him get revenge, Big Show and Booker T come out. Booker speaks, Show speaks, Cena comes out, and Federline fades into the background, and just stands there. Basically, it was hype for Cyber Sunday. Tangent< Best part was when Ron Simmons came out. Only problem I had with it, was thinking how many people were probably wondering who that guy was. Still, good to see Farooq back. Melina vs Mickie Not bad. It’s weird, Chicago cheered the holy hell out of Mickie when she faced Trish at WM. This time, not so much. I think they dug the lesbo aspect of the angle, and the fact that Mickie plays a psycho chick so well. Now, she’s just kind of there. But, she’s supposed to be a face now. In the match, Mickie pretty much beat the hell out of Melina. Melina has some moves, but it must have been a while since Melina has wrestling. She kept up though. At one point, Mickie riled up the crowd, and started to do her finishing maneuver, but Melina countered, and the crowd faded away, even though Mickie got the pin shortly afterwards. Masters and Benjamin vs Carlito and Hardy Not a bad match, and these guys have been working together for a while now. Yet, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Match was based on the fact that all the guys want the title. So, hardy and Carlito had some confusion and Masters and Shelton got the win. Edge and Orton Speak Much better when it’s rehearsed. However, you lost last week. Orton did the J-O-B. Nitro and Federline, Best Buds K-Fed talks trash about Cena. Nitro tries to act hip. Both say some stuff, and it ends. Nitro vs Cena Melina and K-Fed are with Nitro. Basic match, with Nitro doing some flashy moves and selling. Cena is in control for most of the match, and it doesn't last long. Match ends when Cena hit his combo on Nitro. Cena chased Kevin, who fell down on the ramp, and then Booker and Big Show came out, and both men beat Cena down. Booker then turned on Show. Tangent So, we get the "can't trust anyone" vibe for the match this Sunday. Spirit Squad vs Cryme Tyme Cryme Tyme wins in about 3 minutes. Spirit Squad goes berserk. Kenny sounds off on his teammates, and leaves. He then says he will beat Ric Flair. Armando and Eugene, Best Buds Eugene is shooting T-Shirts into the crowd. You can guess what happened. Armando got nailed in the nuts with the T-Shirt gun. Umaga then beat up the retard. Eugene Aftermath Hacksaw gives Eugene a pep talk, and the retard goes berserk! Look out! Tard on the loose! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Kenny vs Ric Flair All the old crufters came out with Flair. They beat up the other members of the Spirit Squad, but not before Kenny got the win in record time. DX Speaks Some good comedy, and more cheap plugs. I chuckled a time or two. That’s all I got to say. Seriously. What? It wasn’t drop dead funny, but it was good. Vince shows up Vince says that the past is the past with Eric. He then gets a call from his broker. Probably telling him that the tips JBL gave him on the plane are costing him a fortune. He sends Coach and Bischoff out for the DX match. Orton vs H Orton wins, with a lot of outside help. Hell, even Eric got a shot in on H. A show short on wrestling, but long on angles. Not a bad thing, as there is one more week to go to hype things and try to lead the fans to make the choices that WWE wants. ECW Recap Info courtesy of Eddie Martin Show opens with a recap from last week. So that’s what I missed. Pity. RVD Speaks RVD says he beat show, and now he wants his shot, and wants to know when he’ll get it. Heyman comes out. Did you know, one of the guards is not a Basham. One of them is out with an injury. Which one, no idea. Probably the one dating Gail Kim, since she’s being kept off TV. I’d want to spend time with her too. Anyway, Heyman speaks, and well, it’s not his usual gold. It’s good, and does the job, but not at his previous levels of awesomeness. And we learn about the contract on a rope match that will take place tonight. Heyman's goons jump RVD, RVD overcomes, and we got a solid opener. CM Punk vs Matt Striker Good match, and Striker actually shows some moves. Solid match, and then Knoxx interferes and beats down Punk. Punk fights back and off goes Striker and Knoxx, and Punk wins with the DQ. Test vs Holly Brutal match. In a good way. Not a bad match up, and both guys worked stiff, but it was tough to keep the interest. It went too long in my opinion. Test works Holly’s back, and we get to hear all about the scar there, from the table spot. WE hear about it a lot. Test finally puts Holly away. Post match, Test beats on Holly some more. Marine Honestly, is this necessary? I really don't care who is tougher, John Cena’s movie Character or John Cena’s wrestling character. Rebecca and Sandman Sandman wants your vote. He got mine. Quite a few times. You can vote as much as you want this year. RVD vs Big Show A slow paced match, and since Big Show is hurting bad, after getting the snot beat out of him all summer, I can sympathize with him. So, it’s a slower paced match, but still a damn good one. Rob wins, and gets the contract. When will the match be? Tune in next week! A pretty good show, that only slowed down in the middle for the Test Holly match. Yeah, it had brutality, but it got old rather quickly to me. RVD and Show was solid, and Striker and Punk was surprisingly good. I think Punk showed him some moves he wanted to use. Still, it came off pretty damn good. Sad thing is, with the time change, ECW goes to 11 pm in Phoenix. So, it back to setting tapes, and well, that is a fifty-fifty chance of seeing the show. Damn you Daylight Saving Time! Smackdown Recap courtesy of Rudi Pavani Show opens with Batista. Batista Speaks Batista wants his title back. He’ll stop at nothing to get it, and that includes beating up Finlay. Heyman then comes out, and there’s the micwork from Heyman I’ve grown to love. Heyman points out that Batista is not a champion. Heyman then tries to recruit Batista to ECW. Oh, very nice. Tangent Batista in ECW? It could be good. It could be very, very good. ECW helped Cena tremendously, but Batista is a different animal, pun fully intended. Batista on a rampage in ECW could be good, but then again, if he just rolls over everyone, it could be very bad. But the upside is greater than the downside I think. Not that Batista would ever go to ECW, but it’s an interesting idea. Back in the ring, Heyman’s enforcers attack Batista, Big Show attacks Batista, Booker shows up to join the party, and then Cena crashes it and he and Batista run off the mob. Solid opening for the show. Lashley and Tatanka vs Regal and Taylor Taylor got hurt in this match. But the team still won. Sucks for Regal, and worse for Dave Taylor. Match was pretty good too. Big surprise was when Tatanka went full heel and laid out the ref, and then attacked Bobby. Benoit Speaks With Kristal, who is a backstage interviewer after all. Benoit plugs the Cyber Sunday poll, where he could face Umaga (Vote Sandman!), and then sees Vickie Guerrero off camera and goes over to talk to her. She ignores him, He says he doesn't know what’s going on with her, Chavo and Rey. That makes millions of us, except we know it has something to do with Eddie. Which is promptly brought up in the conversation with Vickie, as she leaves with the message for Chris that maybe he didn't know Eddie as well as he thought. Tangent Now, that’s just wrong. Why do this? Make it about the Guerrero name, not about Eddie. Is that really so hard to do? MVP, On Drugs MVP says he isn't feeling well, and before Teddy walked in, we see him popping pills. Teddy says MVP will be facing Kane in a No DQ match, and tough crap. Kennedy shows up and says he wants Undertaker tonight. Teddy says Undertaker is not here. So, he gets to take part in the No DQ match with Kane. Chavo and Vickie Vickie is talking with Chavo about earlier with Benoit. Chavo says that Benoit may suspect something, and tells Vickie to keep her distance. He then changes his mind and throws out the old saying, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. OK, what does that mean? No, not the saying, the angle. Hardy vs Helms Solid match. Very good. Way too short. Again. Helms beats Hardy by cheating. Backstage London and Kendrick are watching the match, and we get to see Ashley in her costume. Very sexy. Kendrick says that he was going to wear that outfit. London then has Ashley’s stocking that she has been looking for. She then leaves. Tangent WWE brings the creepy like no other. That’s right teenage girls who cheer for London and Kendrick! These two are not only good looking guys, they’re creepy as fuck! CHEER FOR THEM! CHEER FOR YOUR WEIRDO POSTER BOYS! BUY THEIR MERCHANDISE! Who wouldn't want to buy foot fetish merchandise? Normal people, that’s who. Kane vs Kennedy Pretty good brawl between the two. MVP charges the ring near the end, and gets beaten up. It’s two on one, and both the bad guys are working on Kane’s leg. MVP gets a chair and whacks Kane in the knee, and Kennedy picks up the win. Cena and Batista, Best Buds Cena chats with Batista, and fires off the shot that Batista has been slacking, and that Cena is going out there to FIGHT! YEAH! Let’s get those guys! Chavo speaks Chavo and Vickie are happy that Rey is gone, and they can move on. Benoit then shows up and the two leave. So, it’s not over. Divas Battle Royal Miz is your host. I got this email about what to do with the Miz: Hey Wevv been reading for a while but NEVER got around to it so I am now. In regard to The Miz its simple on what to do with him. Since WWE is living in the past why not bring back GTV and let Miz be behind it thus cashing in on his reality tv "celebrity". And when he gets caught catching candid moments on video he has a match with that person and gets the living shit kicked out of him until he cheats for the win. (It would be great for ECW mind you) and while all this happens he builds up his wrestling skills. Just a thought I had about that. And about the marine... Well... It sucked but it wasn't Cena's fault. Cena actually has all the tools needed to be an action hero (which the silver screen needs right now). The only real problem was the Writing and Direction and I think you'll agree when you do watch it. And yes pretty much if you've been watching WWE and all the Marine trailers then yes you've already seen the movie. Ok just wanted to pass that along.... And I think I'm in need of a Kane's House or Not Kane's House fix lol been a little while Keep up the great Column, Jonathan Thanks John, and that’s a damn good idea. Kane’s House will be making a come back soon. But for now, you can consider OAW a warm up to it. Just wait and see. Very quick match, as the chicks who can wrestle get thrown out right away. Then, Kristal has Layla on the outside and Miz pulls her off the apron and declares Kristal the winner. Then, it happens. BOOGEY MAN RETURNS! Yes, Boogey made a comeback and pulled worms out of his pants and ate them. He then drooled them on Kristal, who took it like a trooper. Kristal deserves some respect for that. She’s already earned mine. That chick is gold. Booker and Big Show, Best Buds? Booker was watching the screen, when Show enters and talks some trash to him, Booker gets upset with that, and Show puts him in his place and says it’s every man for himself on Sunday. Well done. Booker and Show vs Batista and Cena Good match. But it ends in the way you would expect it to. Booker goes for a tag, Show ducks it, and Booker gets the beating and does the job. End saw Batista and Cena being pals, as Big Show walked away. Good show. Well laid out, and no Vito, which is always a good thing. Some nice build for Sunday, and the matches. This week, I expect last minute pushes, but with a twist. See, it’s up to WWE to try and convince the fans to vote how WWE wants them to, and I always like seeing how WWE tries to steer it’s audience. In the past, it’s been pretty successful, only this year, WWE seems to have learned and limited exactly how much influence the fans have. There really is no match that the fans have a large degree on input on. There’s still time to make one more match. With the move to Sunday, and the hype really turned up, I’m eager to see how this show does. Not eager enough to buy it, but to see the outcome, definitely. Only one last thing to put up. And it’s about Dusty. I’m not sure WWE really wants people to vote for him. I mean, look at this mug shot.  Look at that mug. The guy looks more retarded than Eugene is supposed to be. I just find that funny. Anyway, on to OAW. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: The K-Fed Experience I have my own personal opinion on this matter that differs from yours on the issue of K-Fed possibly being a big splash or ever a moderate splash in pro wrestling. When you compare Federline's appearance on Raw to Tyson's, well, you can't compare the two. Let's first look at who they are: Mike Tyson is known internationally as being boxing's badass, one of the best toe-to-toe fighters in the world. A walking frontpage headline and controversial sports figure. This guy means business. People, at the time, looked at Tyson and were scared, intimidated, and interested. Kevin Federline is a leech off of a flogging career of a pop star who is a mediocre rapper. People look at Federline and laugh. Let's look at how they were introduced into WWE television: Mike Tyson was being announced as being part of the WrestleMania main event on Raw by Vince McMahon himself, it looked similar to a press conference with several WWE officials present. It seemed very real and exciting. Kevin Federline walked into the Staples Center with theme music and introduced by a midcard wrestler and a typical piece of ass diva. It was a lackluster event. Let's look at how their segments on Raw turned out: Tyson was about to be announced as the guest enforcer, but was interrupted by Steve Austin. Austin threw fighting words and the double bird at Tyson, and then it happened: a scuffle. 2 dozen WWE and Tyson representatives frantically separated the two until Austin was pulled from the ring. It looked real, and it got everyone talking. Even McMahon screaming at Tyson was exciting because of Austin "ruining it." It made newspaper headlines, hell even ESPN the next night showed it on sportscenter. It was an amazing 10 minutes of television. Federline entered the ring and began his "ghetto talk" and was about to bore the audience with quite possibly the worst rapping ever. Until John Cena interrupted. For once Cena did something productive on Raw. However, Cena proceeded to insult Federline, then give a lackluster rap session of his own. Until the segment ended with Federline being F-Ued by Cena. The entire segment looked forced and fake. It was just another part of the show. It was cheesy and it came off as a pathetic attempt to gain some national exposure. Tyson's 10 minutes on WWE television changed the tide of the Monday Night War. Federline's 10 minutes changed the tide of my dinner in my stomach. Let's look at how Tyson's tenure in WWE turned out: He shocked the world by joining DX, a role he would fit perfectly into. Now it seemed that Austin was doomed. A man he punked out earlier was now the enforcer of his title match and a member of the group his opponent was part of. In the end, Tyson betrayed DX and counted the fall. Tyson was part of history that night and the history of pro wrestling. Now, can we, as wrestling fans, honestly expect that a C-rate rap artist can do the same? That was from Angelo. Thanks for writing Angelo. Good points, and very valid. Hey Bossman, have read your articles for quite a long time but never responded about one before. I'm sure someone else has probably mentioned it to you but the WWE/K-Fed cross over is already being seen in the tabloids somewhat. On VH1's show Best Week Ever, where they talk about different celebrity gossip, this week they talked about him being on Raw and even showed a few clips of him from the show. They didn't make any kind of mention of a return appearance, but they were mostly spoofing on him about getting beatin up to promote his new album since he made an appearance on CSI as well. Just wanted to pass on the info if you weren't already aware, thanks, Randy. Thanks Randy. K-Fed made the low level tabloid rounds when he showed up on Raw, the first time. The second time, well, barely any, if at all, mention was made of him. I could have missed something, but I doubt it. So, K-Fed was turned into a non-factor. I mentioned a few. This last week, Federline was just kind of there. His purpose in working with WWE is to plug his album, that’s clear. His album drops on Tuesday. He’s also getting paid to show up. To the tune of $15,000. Not bad. But there’s more that WWE could do with K-Fed. I dreamed up this little scenario for Monday. Show opens with K-Fed K-Fed: What up people? You know what tomorrow is? It’s trick or teat for all you fool, which like to dress up and pretend to be something your not! Not like me! I’m the real deal! And I got a special treat for all you people! Yeah, you know what I’m talking about! Tomorrow is the day that my album, ‘Playing With Fire” drops in stores and all you people can go out and treat yourself to the best album to hit stores this year! Not like that poser crap that John Cena put out this year! I’m the Real Deal! K-Fed in da house, y’all! Respect! Boo all you want, but I’m going to give you people a little taste of what real rap is all about, here tonight! I know all you people came here tonight, hoping to get a little taste, a little taste of the hottest album! And I’m gonna give it to you! Tonight! Right here! Tonight I will be playing my soon to be hit single! Live! No need to thank me! I do it because I want to! Shot to section of the Raw entryway, where a tarp covers part of the stage. K-Fed: That’s right! It’s going to be off the hook! We even got extra security to keep you crazy ass fools in line! Tonight is all about what I want If I’m gonna rap for you fools, you gotta give me something back! ! And what I want to is put John Cena in his place! Coach has agreed to let me make a match! And tonight what I want is for John Cena to go one on one with my boy, Johnny Nitro! K-Fed: But that’s not all! I want my boy Johnny Nitro, with his fine girl Melina at ringside, and two good friends of mine, Big Show and King Bookah, to be in that ring, and I want them to kick John Cena’s ass so bad, he won’t even make it to Cyber Sunday! Only then, will I perform for you people, and I know you can't wait for that! The music of DX hits. HBK: Who is that guy and what’s he doing in our ring? H: I think he’s Mr. Britney Spears. You know, a guy who married into fame? HBK: Oh yeah. I’ve read about those kind of people. H: (Insert five to ten minute promo here. I won't try to write it.) K-Fed: You fools think I ain't got what it takes to make it on my own? You don't know who you're dealing with! I’m K-Fed! I’m the Real Deal! H: Just get out of our ring. Now. K-Fed runs off. H talks for another ten minutes. Later: In the back: Nitro: K-Dog! You OK man? K-Fed: Yeah, but those DX guys are ruining my night! Man, I can't wait to perform (Insert name of single here)! It’s going to be off the hook! People are gonna flip when they hear me! I don't want those punks harshing my mellow (* I never claimed to know the lingo. I’m from the burbs, just make up something that sounds hip, and put it there). Coach appears. Coach: K-Fed, my man! Listen, I’m so terribly sorry about DX. Let me make it up to you. Since I am the right hand of Vince McMahon himself, I have made a match that I think you’ll like. Tonight, we’ll have Triple H and Shaun Michaels, Degeneration X, facing off in tag team competition, against The ECW Champion, The Big Show, and Smackdown Champion, King Booker! And to make sure that nothing else could ruin your night, I, Jonathon Coachman, will be the special guest referee! How does that sound! K-Fed: That sounds tight, yo. Thanks Coach. Hey Coach, you got my set under guard, right? I need my gear, otherwise I can't perform! Coach: No problem, I’ve personally appointed a special detachment of security guards to make sure that no one messes with your stuff. K-Fed: Cool. Cuz I’m gonna have a very special guest out there with me tonight, and I want to impress her. You know what I mean? Coach: Um, no. But I’ll check on it now. Later After a Cryme Tyme match, JTG and Shad are making their way to the back, when they stop and look under the tarp. Shad nudges JTG, and they start to whisper to each other as they head to the back. Later: Some divas walk up to the guards keeping an eye on K-Fed’s gear. Small talk, flirting, and in the background, Cryme Tyme sneaks past the guards. Later: Cena comes out and makes fun on K-Fed. An angry K-fed comes out and confronts him with Nitro and Melina in tow. Cena makes this crack: Cena: I wouldn't stand too close to Kevin there. All the tabloids talk about is how that guy’s boys can swim, if you catch my drift. Stand too close and you could get pregnant. I’d keep an eye on your girl Nitro… K-Fed gets this line in. K-Fed: HEY! Don't make me rap at you! Cena wraps it up, and we go to commercial. In the back, K-Fed is yelling at Nitro about Cena. Vince shows up. Coach is with him. Vince: Mr. Federline, I am deeply sorry for what John Cena said to you tonight. It is an honor to have you on our show. K-Fed: (some hip hop slang for saying that everything is cool) Vince: Um, yes. Right back at you. My assistant Coachman made a match tonight, that frankly, he didn't get my approval for. He said it was a favor to you. However, I like the idea, but I don't think he went quite far enough. I’m not sure if you’re aware of it or not, but I have my own, personal, problem with Degeneration X. So, I’ll tell you want. I’m going to change tonight’s match, and since I am the Chairman, I can do that. Tonight, it’s going to be Degeneration X, The Game Triple H, and Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Kid, along with World heavyweight Champion of Smackdown John Cena, facing off against the seven foot tall, five hundred pound monster, and ECW Champion the Big Show, along with King Bookah, Smackdown WWE Champion, and with them will be, Former Intercontinental Champion, Johnny Nitro, with special guest referee, yours, truly, Vince McMahon! With, Special Guest timekeeper, Jonathon Coachman! And With Special ringside guest, you! Kevin Federline! How does that sound? K-Fed: That would be off the hook! Let’s do this! Vince: Happy to oblige. Now, your performance is up next! K-Fed’s performance: K-Fed: Awww yeah! It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Are you ready to hear the greatest single in the world? Let me hear you! K-Fed: before I get this party started, I’d like to bring out a special guest, to join me here tonight, put your hands together for the Real Diva, and a very special person to me, a woman with true class….MELINA! Nitro comes out with Melina, and he doesn't look pleased. Melina gets in the ring. K-Fed: Are you ready? I said are you ready?!? Now take a look at how a true star rolls! The tarp drops, and we see an empty space. Except for JTG and Shad lugging off a speaker. They look surprised at the sudden light, drop the speak and run off. And that’s all I have so far. I think a few more backstage segments can be worked in. Maybe something with Bischoff. More with DX. I’d have Edge and Orton do a taped segment, making fun of DX. For the main event, I’d have DX get beaten down, with plenty of shenanigans from Vince and Coach, and maybe even have K-Fed get involved. Perhaps do some more with Nitro and Melina, perhaps teasing a break up. And put Federline’s song on the WWE website. A video maybe, if he has one. Basically, what I wanted to do with these segments is give something for the press to talk about. Tease Britney Spears, and give the tabloid shows some sound bites. Federline can be news to them, especially since his album is due out soon, and he’ll likely be making promotional rounds. Might as well give him something to talk about WWE related as well. The more press the better. The point is how to use celebrities that show up on Raw. Use them correctly, and the payoff can be great. It all depends on how much they’re willing to do. But it’s a give and take situation. K-Fed may not be willing to drag Britney’s name onto TV. But that can be worked around. All it takes is a bit of planning. And that’s it for today. Time to wrap this sucker up. Quick Plugs and then another week of ball busting work. Oh, and Happy Halloween. On a side note, ECW will be airing on Halloween night. Is it too much to hope for the return of the Zombie? That would kick ass. All right, I’m outta here. QUICK PLUGS! LOP FORUMS New and Improved! The latest Sports, Entertainment news! What are you waiting for? LOP COLUMNS FORUM THE MOVIE BAR! Great place for reviews of DVD's, Music, and special video clips. Your one stop review spot. THE PROJECT LIVES! A creative site for creative people. Be sure to check out the forums! LOP'S PWA E-FED. Best E-Fed on the net. Period. That's all for this week. Thanks for Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com - PLEASE LABEL ALL EMAIL AS FEEDBACK. THANK YOU. *NEW GALLERY* Very RARE and Personal Backstage Photos of the WWE Divas!
[Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]
|
|