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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Monday, October 23, 2006 at 2:56 AM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Mike Tyson vs Kevin Federline Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. The column that makes Triple H cry. And feel like a woman. So, after another week of wrestling, what is there to talk about? Well, there is some happening off camera to talk about, in purely entertainment business terms, some gossip to go over, and then there’s a week of less than stellar TV. So, without further ado, let’s just get down to business. One thing first, reader colt sent this in. hey my name is colt my sister works at the box office at celebrity theatre she told me that they sold 1700 tickets and only gave away 30 comps . Just thought, you would like to know. Big fan by the way So, the place wasn’t sold out, but still a respectable crowd. Thanks for sending me that info Colt. It is greatly appreciated. WWE TV – The Series Raw Recap Info courtesy of Chad Matthews It’s in LA, so that means a Hollywood theme. Of course. WWE apparently did get some stars to show up, for once. Good for you WWE. DX Skit It was bad. It was really bad. The whole segment sucked. That’s the truth. The material was not good. Orton was just plain horrible. Edge was mediocre. HBK was barely there. H, well, H was focusing on only one thing. Cocks. Big surprise there. He showed photos of a naked Randy. He showed photos HBK did for Playgirl a decade ago. The really funny thing was that those photos came out of H’s private collection. Orton then tried to speak, and failed. Then came blows and Edge and Orton running away. Well, that just set the tone for show didn't it? Tangent Here the thing about Orton. When his lines are scripted for him, he can do the job. When it comes to improvisation, Orton just sucks. Part of being able to cut a good promo is to go with the flow. Being able to cut away from the scripted lines and go off on your own is key. Orton doesn't have that. Also, during this skit, Orton acted like a complete tool. His instincts are just not there. He should have been pissed, not embarrassed. He should have laughed off the accusations, not accepted them with chagrin. It’s all up to you Edge. Good luck. Tangent 2 It had to happen. Why? Because there was supposed to be an Orton vs H 2, and H was supposed to lose! How dare H refuse to do the return job! One on one! Not some wimpy pin in some cluster match! Yeah! H owes Orton a clean pin! How dare he refuse! How dare he?!? Doesn't H have any respect for the business? - Note, so, Hogan is still the bad guy? HBK, five years, a million a year. Cryme Tyme vs Spirit Squad So, that’s Cryme Tyme. Shad is a generic big man. Lots of big boots, some clotheslines, punches, and so far, not much else. He’s the black Snitsky. JTG has some moves, and some personality. Match was nothing special. Spirit Squad tries to cheat, and Cryme Tyme uses the distraction to cheat to win. Finisher is a Samoan Drop, while JTG performs a neckbreaker. Not bad, but they need to practice it. Kenny Freaks After the match, Kenny goes nuts, and stalks off in a huff. I guess the plug is being pulled on the Spirit Squad. Still tag champs, but now the group is falling apart. Well, it is one way to jump-start the tag division. Spirit Squad breaks into two teams, one guy goes solo, throw in the Highlanders, Cryme Tyme, maybe Rob Conway and Hass, Val and Viscera, and you got a bunch of tag teams. Shelton Benjamin vs Jeff Hardy vs Chris Masters vs Super Crazy Nice match. Lots of quick action, and the guys in the ring changed often. Masters kept up. Super Crazy and Benjamin stole the match. Those two need to go to a brand where they can just tear down the house. I don't think they’ll get that on Raw. Masters was the whipping boy in this match, and he was the one who got both of Hardy’s finishers and was pinned. Booker T and Cryme Tyme Booker was at the show. Cryme Tyme showed up earlier and managed to steal his wallet. Booker also dropped the accent and went street. Later, Booker was talking with some police and said that all black people look alike to him. Yep, a black joke. Way to go WWE. You just gotta push the envelope, eh WWE? Nitro and Melina’s Special Guest And the Special Guest is….KEVIN FEDERLINE! That’s just amazing. Seriously, that’s a perfect surprise guest. And he did it well. Aside from keeping a hand on his dick nearly the entire time, but hey, if that was my claim to fame, I’d want to protest it too. He was backstage, he saw what was going on. You’d be nervous too. Kevin bashed the crowd and then threatened to rap to them. The crowd begged for mercy. Cena then came out to save them. And then rapped to them. So, it was a no-win situation. Until it got physical. Nitro attacked, Cena beat him up, K-Fed made his escape, Big Show came out, then Booker, and finally Vince. Vince told them to stop, before it started, and then made an announcement for Cyber Sunday. A title will be on the line, and the fans can decide who. Everyone left, except Federline, and Cena then gave him the FU. Nice. Tangent Interesting putting up a belt. Cena is popular, and people may vote for him, not realizing that means he could lose the belt, not keep it. So, if Cena’s title is on the line, if some one else wins it, which would make them a double champion, say, if Booker T won it. So, I guess that Cena should win. It’s an interesting stipulation, which could have interesting ramifications. OOOOO-MAGA! Steve – O and Chris Pontius, of Jack-Ass fame. They say they are willing to do anything. So, Armando comes out, back and forth banter, next thing you know, Umaga comes out and beats the crap out of them. Steve-O, who was probably loaded out of his mind, got up. So Umaga came back and clocked him. He still got up, but wisely, Umaga left the ring, and the cameraman just went with that. CHICKS! It’s a fatal four-way bra and panties match. Nice. Chicks lost half their clothes, but Maria managed to get Torrie down to her bra and panties and win the thing. Orton vs H Eh, it was a decent match. Edge came out, HBK was out with H, and it was interference, and a miscommunication, and H wins. One move looked pretty bad. When Orton went over the top rope, the way he landed looked like he blew a knee. He came back in and finished the match, but I’d keep my eye on that knee in the next few shows. So, what was the point of putting Edge and Orton together? To give DX some competition? Well, DX just punked out Edge and Orton on just about every level. This show was not that good in my opinion. A good IC title match, a lot of squashes, and one or two not important matches. So, a rather so-so show, that could have done a lot better. Two weeks until the PPV, so I guess it’s holding pattern time. ECW Recap Courtesy of Eddie Martin I’ll admit it now, I didn't pay a lot of attention to the show. There’s a good reason for that, which I’ll get to in a bit. Striker vs Sandman – Kane on a Pole match Eh, it was not that good to me. The “On A Pole” shtick is too Russo-like. I’d rather just have the cane in the match. Striker looks about done. Not as in out, as he peaked, and is now on his way back down. Striker gets the cane, but Sandman takes it from him and gets the win, some how. Sorry, I couldn't resist the Kane joke. CM Punk vs Renee Dupree Not a bad match. Dupree can wrestle, but this is pretty much all CM Punk. And that’s not a bad thing. Punk wins with the Anaconda vise. Rebecca DiPieto speaks with RVD Quick rumor, Rebecca is apparently Batista’s girlfriend. Damn you Batista. Test Speaks And I go to sleep. Test started talking about how he is the Most Extreme, and that’s just insulting. And boring. So, time to call it a night. Stick around for RVD vs Big Show? I tried. I set a tape, but got to the Test part, and BOOM! It was like a narcolepsy attack So, didn't see the rest of the show. Eddie is my hook up. Sabu vs Shannon Moore Sabu wins. Looks like Moore actually got some offense in. Rebecca Speaks Again This time with Big Show. Big Show plugs Cyber Sunday. Big Show vs RVD Wish I had seen it. But then I got to reading the finish and saw that Test runs in and give the match to Show. Hardcore Holly made a return as well, taking out Test. So, this match was just background for the Test vs Holly feud. Yay. You know what? I’m getting bored with ECW. The matches I like are too short, and the characters are getting stale to me. Test? Hardcore Holly? They aren't bad, but they were always just filler, not the main attraction. I know that the time constraints play a big factor, but still. Maybe once the Marine trailers are gone, it will get better, but right now, ECW is basically looking a lot like Heat. I would have said Velocity, but Velocity had some really good matches. I miss the high energy, fast paced matches of the ECW of old. You know what the kicker is? I read in the Observer that Kevin Dunn said the reason that the ratings are slipping is that fans don't know that ECW is a WWE brand. That’s hilarious. And so very wrong. Smackdown Recap Courtesy of Rudi Pavani We get opening credits! They look a bit different, or maybe it’s because I haven't seen them in a while. MVP vs Kane MVP starts off with talk. Kane comes out, and the ref tries to keep control. The match starts and Kane just beats the crap out of MVP. MVP gets in a low blow, and the match is over just like that. MVP then runs away. Yeah, off to a rockin’ start. Vito vs Elijah Burke Sandwich break. Apparently Elijah won, but with help from Sylvester Terkay. Hardy and Helms, Best Buds Matt hardy is getting a drink. Helms comes up, and we get some banter. Teddy shows up and lays it on Greg that he’s going to face the Undertaker tonight. Matt is happy for Greg. Nicely done. Regal Speaks Regal says that he is tired of being a joke. Which is a shame, because he does it so well. Regal lists his humiliations, and then says that he’s going to get serious. And he has a friend. Some jobber. Oh well. The guy’s name is Dave Taylor. Still don't remember him. Regal and Dave vs Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki Well, Regal and Dave must be winning. Pretty good match. Pretty much a squash match, but there was some nice offense there. Dave takes care of Scotty, and Regal beats on Scotty and Funaki after the bell. Short and to the point. Regal is angry. Chavo vs Rey – I Quit match Not bad, but nothing really great. The emotion was just not there. Well, for me, I knew Rey was going to get surgery soon. He put it off, and this was the result. Not a bad match. Rey and Chavo did some crazy moves. But this feud has dragged on too long. No Mercy should have been the end. Chavo and Rey brawl to the outside. Rey jumps off the ramp onto Chavo. Rey then gets tangled up in the entry light rigging, and Chavo attacks his knee with a chair. Rey finally says I quit. Good luck Rey, and get well soon. Sugar Shane Helms vs The Undertaker Undertaker’s entrance lasted longer than the match. Taker just squashed Helms. Helms did get some offense in, but not much. Taker then dropped Greg on his head. Seriously, it looked bad. Kennedy then ran in to attack Taker. No effect. Taker then chokeslams Ken, and poses, while Ken runs away. Tangent Well, that sure put a damper on the Kennedy vs Taker feud. Ken did get the win, but hopefully, it won't mean weeks of Kennedy running away and being squashed. You know, the usual Taker opponent booking strategy. If Taker needs his win back so badly, why not do the old tag team of the week victory? Kennedy needs to be made strong again. Divas Dance Off Miz is our host. Annoying as hell. Tangent Yes, that quickly. Honestly, I can't come up with anything to do with the Miz. Usually, I can think of something. Not this time. The guy is just too annoying. Even if some one came out and just squashed him totally, I don't think the crowd would cheer. Just heave a sigh of relief and mutter “Thank God that’s over”. But I would love to hear some suggestions. The guy has talent and isn't afraid to be on TV, which is a big plus. His wrestling skills are green, but they can be built on. And his persona, well, there’s something there, but for the life of me, I can't figure it out. We also get the Carter brothers. No idea who they are. Hey, I’m old. I think one was a Backstreet Boy or something. The younger one is just some punk. Both of them are clearly loaded. The chicks come out. Smashley is jealous of the Carters. Kristal looked amazing. Wrong look for Michelle. She’s hot, but she looked odd. Layla is smoking. The chicks dance and Kristal deserved to win. Layal can move, but Kristal does this dance that usually costs around $20. Miz declares Kristal the winner. The Carters said Layla, after the older one got wood and ran from the ring. Pussy. Ends in a catfight, so we all win. Booker vs Batista Big Show and Cena are at ringside. Pretty good match. Sharmell provided the constant distraction. But the ending was the same, tired old run – in. Finlay came out and attacked Batista. Guess I spoke too soon, as the match keeps going. So, the run-in was pointless. That’s even more asinine. Well, there was a DQ finish, as on the outside, Batista spears Booker, and the two men collide with Big Show, getting him involved. Batista takes over, and then Big Show gets in the ring and takes out Batista. Cena then runs in to counter Show. Booker escapes. Cena manages to take everyone out, but the match was long over. Show escapes, and Cena helps up Batista. Teddy then comes out and announces a match for next week. Cena and Batista vs Booker and Big Show. The end. Well, that was Smackdown. Can't say I’m really enthusiastic about the tag match. Why? Batista uber alles. That just doesn't seem right. I know it’s to set up Booker vs Batista, probably for Survivor Series, but still. That’s further away then Cyber Sunday. It just seems like Batista is being forced on the fans as the real champion, and the real champions are being used to build him up. Not a good idea. But then again, I could be reading too much into it. You know, too close to Friday. But Monday will set the tone for Friday, and I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: WWE Hollywood Blues Just saw the second weekend box office results for the Marine. The news is not good. “The Marine” dropped to number 10, and took in an estimated $3,725,000. A drop off of 48% from the previous week, in which it debuted. Yikes. Total take is in the neighborhood of $12 and a half million gross. A slow week at the box office? You could say that, but when the #1 film, first week in release, takes in more than your whole take so far, you can’t escape the fact that your film is not a hit. It could still break even, but it’s going to take a while. WWE spent $25 million or so making the film, and spent more on advertising. So, WWE is crossing it’s finger for high DVD sales, most likely. ‘See No Evil” made a small profit, and I have yet to see it in Blockbuster. Hey, it’s been released on DVD too! Damn, must have missed it. They probably pulled a “Dave Chapelle’s Block Party” on me, and only ordered one freaking copy. Luckily, that one went to cable fairly quickly. Hopefully “See No Evil” will as well. Back on track. Speaking of DVD’s, WWE changed their distributor this week. ALL WWE DVD’s will be released through the Weinstein Brother’s Genius Products. That means not just the movies, but the wrestling DVD’s as well. That’s a big change. I believe that WWE itself was in charge of distributing their wrestling DVD’s like Wrestlemania 22. Now, they’re going through a company that specializes in distributing. And not just any company, but the Weinstein’s, who happen to also produce real movies. The Weinsteins are co-founders of Miramax films. You know, the studio that made “Lord Of the Rings”, “Sin City”, and “Pulp Fiction”. Yeah, that Miramax. Now, this new deal doesn't mean that Vince is dealing with Harvey and Bob in person. Just that they are doing business with their off-shoot company. The story can be found HERE The story does add that now that Miramax and WWE are doing business to a degree, that there is the possibility that they could work together to make a movie. Which would be a good thing. The WWE Film arm has had a rocky start. Did you know that “The Marine” was supposed to be released before “See No Evil”? You remember when Cena got stabbed? He was off making this movie. Way back then. Since that time, the film has been pushed back again and again. Never a good omen. Now, the Marine has been pushed heavily on WWE programming. For weeks, WWE has shown the trailer released in theatres, a special trailer just made for WWE shows, behind the scene footage, like interviews with cast members, and directors, and so on and so forth. Basically, WWE gave their TV show viewers, the audience they wanted to go see the film, and everything they could have wanted to know about the movie. And that may have been their undoing. There was basically nothing left to see in the film. Now, I haven't seen the film, so I could be wrong. But my impression is that the film is a generic action film. Some big explosions, some hokey dialog, and that’s about it. Oh, there’s a hot chick, but so what? It’s a WWE film, so that means that I won't get to see anything. Nothing about the film was left to my imagination. So, why plunk down ten bucks to go see the film? That’s one possible explanation. But it’s something that WWE has done before, with TV shows, with movies, and other ventures. Over-hype kills the interest. It goes all the way back to the XFL, when WWE pushed the living shit out of that crappy football league. Expectations were building so high, but there was nothing to actually show the fans, when it came to game footage. So, fans didn't know what to expect. One 9.5 later, we knew it wasn’t good, and left. After that, whenever WWE told us to do something, the backlash of the XFL kicked in. Mistrust. Expected disappointment. Even years later, it’s still present, only WWE has backed up their threats of not delivering. “The Marine” could be great, but I’ll wait to see it. Because I’d rather not feel gypped. Again. There’s more potential problems for WWE. The fans aren't the only ones in danger of feeling cheated. From Yahoo Entertainment NBC Universal plans to cut $750 million in operating expenses by the end of 2007 by eliminating employees, cutting back on scripted shows, and slashing its news budget, according to a report Thursday in The Wall Street Journal…. What does that mean for WWE? Well, $750 million is a ton of money. And the cuts at NBC won't be just personnel, but also shows. And well, Saturday Night Main Event is a ratings disaster. NBC also got burned by the XFL, so they may be gun shy when it comes to WWE. NBC will be looking for cheaper programming, and a live wrestling show in prime time, (granted, on Saturday night), may not exactly fit that bill. Especially if it can't produce ratings, which can be translated into advertiser revenue, which means less money produced for NBC. Period. NBC may just cancel the remaining shows on their contract with WWE. Which would not be good news for WWE. Why? Simple. Football on NBC is really huge. It’s basically paying itself off. And it wasn’t cheap. Quite the opposite in fact. NBC will pay $600 million a year, for six years. They also get Superbowl 2009 and 2012. It’s not the first time NBC has shelled out the big bucks for a sporting event. NBC paid over that amount to broadcast the Olympics through 2012. But the Olympics are broadcast through all the NBC sister stations. Why bring that up? Simple, NBC is taking a long hard look at programming, with an eye for slashing shows from it’s schedule. Here’s an article about it. HERE . That sounds like justification. And if NBC is rethinking it’s deal with the Olympics, what chance does WWE have? Practically none. It’s been about a year since WWE inked their deal with the USA network, which is a NBC sister station, meaning that NBC’s parent company owns USA. The first SNME in this millennium aired on March 18th. A long time ago. Now, it’s easy to see why WWE would push to have SNME return to the airwaves, especially on NBC. Back in the day, SNME was a big show. It had ratings. It attracted viewers. In this new era, it’s anything but. But, back when the deal was first being completed, NBC was just sitting down the NFL to get the rights to their Sunday games. Idle speculation might suggest that NBC hoped that WWE would be a back-up plan, as they tried to bolster their sports programming. NBC was already not renewing their NBA rights. If WWE could provide some kind of counter programming, all would be well. With NBC. Frankly, NBC was getting desperate. And WWE failed to deliver. Now, SNME could be on the block. Well, let’s not beat around the bush, it’s probably near the top of the list of shows to be cut. WWE presented classy, by WWE standard shows for NBC. All their big names, but hardly any wrestling. You know, the stuff that wrestling fans actually want to see. Instead, they tried gimmickry to make viewers watch. It didn't work. WWE was looking to draw new fans to it’s programming. Not just SNME, but to all their brands. Smackdown included. SNME was supposed to be that magic bullet, building on the nostalgia kick, and making old fans watch again. Maybe draw in some new fans. And, again, it didn't work. Now, they may not get another chance. With three brands to promote, movies to hype, and web services to plug, a potentially giant stage could be lost. But WWE just got a kick in the pants. A potentially huge boost. In fact, it could be this decades Mike Tyson. What could that be? Kevin Federline. Yes, Tito and I agree on something concerning wrestling. It may indeed by time for Tito to retire, if he and I can agree on something like this. Tangent In OAW? Yes, here. Tito, I wish you all the best. We disagree on just about everything, but my respect for you has never waned. You are the man Tito. You got me to start coming to LOP. You presence will be missed. Good luck man. And Congrats on the wedding and house. Kevin Federline, husband of Britney Spears, and impregnating machine. The man with the million dollar sperm. Rapper? Yeah right. Celebrity? Only to the tabloids. But that may be enough. See, there’s one thing that needs to be understood about Federline and Britney. Every time I go to the Supermarket, the tabloids by the check out line have some story on Britney. And more often than not, on Kevin. Britney is one of the most searched celebrities on the web. Period. Who is Kevin married to? Britney Spears. So, what does WWE have with a C-List celebrity, crappy rapper, and part of a failed show with his spouse (Exotic, Erotic, Chaotic, whatever. Hell, I may be getting it confused with some perfume)? A goldmine. See, Britney wouldn't be getting this attention if people didn't want to know about her. Federline is only famous for being attached to Britney. IN other words, people that want to know about Britney are more than likely going to learn about Federline. And K-Fed’s appearance on Raw is gossip news. It didn’t make that big of a splash at first. I only read the celebrity news bits in the paper, and they usually have something about Spears. But not this week. However, a repeat performance, which is actually scheduled for Raw tonight, could do the trick. The pundits just need to research their material (WWE, no one has been paying attention to it for years, so, time to update, and boy, that should be a goldmine for them). But K-Fed was solid in the ring and on the mic. He may only sell a thousand albums out of all of this, but it could be worth it to him. And to WWE. See, here’s the thing. The people who read the tabloids are usually just some house fraus. An audience that doesn't watch WWE. But they will want to know what Spear’s husband is up to. They may set a tape to watch the show. Just so they can skim to K-Fed’s parts. Which means, their husbands may have to watch it with them. And who knows, they may like the wrestling show period. And the audience may grow. See, WWE is actually advertising that K-Fed will be at the show. Which they didn't do the first time. Now, people know he is going to be there. We’ll see what effect that has. K-Fed may be great for wrestling, Hell, the tease of Britney being should be enough to really boost the rating. She may even show up to support her man. And baby daddy. And just like Mike Tyson did nearly a decade ago, the shock factor could kick in. Only, this isn't a creepy shock. It’s a good shock. I’ve said it before. WWE has shown signs of having a plan. A good plan. It comes and goes, but more often than not, in my opinion, the last couple of shows have had some good to them. Now, WWE may have just found their magic bullet, in a guy made famous for knocking up a famous chick. Granted, it’s not the same as biting the ear off a guy, but it could have the same effect. And when those jaded wrestling fans tune it, along with their buddies they talked about wrestling with at the office, what will they get? H on top, just like when they left? Or would it be too much to hope, like last time, that the guys who were getting all the attention get overthrown, and the guys who have been doing well, but haven’t quite gotten the attention they deserve, get a chance? Stone Cold was just a gut, getting a nice push, until the fans saw him and really clicked with him, and said, hey, we like this guy more than we like DX. And guess what? DX is back….and the wrestling cycle could come full circle… Now watch, Federline will join up with DX and it will promptly suck. Nevermind me, just hoping for the best, and bracing for the worst. And that’s it for today. One quick newsblurb to throw out there and then quick plugs and another week of work. Torrie Wilson Rumored To Be Divorcing Billy Kidman Wow, for years I’ve been saying “Damn You Billy Kidman!”. Now, it may be coming true. I hope that tanning business is doing well. But poor Torrie. She’s available now! Or Soon! Whatever! But seriously, I feel for Torrie. Divorce is never an easy thing. You have my sympathy Torrie. And one last Damn You Billy Kidman! I’ll need something new. Maybe, Damn You Basham! Or damn you Batista? Just doesn't have the same ring… QUICK PLUGS! LOP FORUMS New and Improved! The latest Sports, Entertainment news! What are you waiting for? LOP COLUMNS FORUM THE MOVIE BAR! Great place for reviews of DVD's, Music, and special video clips. Your one stop review spot. THE PROJECT LIVES! A creative site for creative people. Be sure to check out the forums! LOP'S PWA E-FED. Best E-Fed on the net. Period. That's all for this week. Thanks for Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com - PLEASE LABEL ALL EMAIL AS FEEDBACK. THANK YOU. *NEW GALLERY* Amazing UP CLOSE Kelly Kelly Tease Photos! MUST SEE!
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