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Submitted by Morpheus on Friday, August 25, 2006 at 5:37 PM EST
 Volume One – A Tale Of Two Champions 08/22/2004 Welcome one and all to the First Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. I am Morpheus, Master of the Dreaming, and I will be your guide through this land of Nightmares and Dreamscapes. Since this is my first attempt at writing a column, I will give you a bit of background information on myself for those of you who are kind enough to care. At the time of this writing, I am but a few days shy of joining the Quarter Century Club, as I will be turning 25 on Wednesday. I have been married for nearly a year now, and have no children, thereby proving that it wasn’t a shotgun scenario. I am currently employed as a Research Assistant and I am working toward my Ph.D. in Experimental Igneous Petrology and Geochemistry at Stony Brook University. Anything else you want to know, I guess you’ll just have to ask. Now, I will explain to you a little bit about how this column works. It is broken down into 6 major sections. First, Daydreams is a section of random thoughts on various news items or topics of discussion I have run across in the forums. These will usually all be wrestling-related, but occasionally something else may slip in. Second, Counting Sheep will be a Top 5 or 10 list that ranks a different subject, wrestling related or not, each week. Next, Dreamscapes is the main meat of the column and tackles the main topic of the week. Then Nightmares is a quick rundown of all the terrible to god-awful things that happened in wrestling this week; the things that should not be. Technicolor Dreaming is a quick multimedia review section where I give a quick synopsis of a DVD, CD, TV Show, or Website of the week, and why I think you should all check it out. Finally, Vanishing Vagaries are those final fleeting glimpses of the dreams you had from the night before that stick in your head when you wake up, and this will basically recap the major points of the column. Hopefully you will enjoy your trip through this Realm. Now, without further ado, on to The Dreaming!  - The ongoing situation with Steve Austin and his girlfriend GoldDigger really has me laughing hysterically. The brawl in the restaurant, the claims of a supposed setup, the lawsuits; they are all leading to the only way to resolve this entire situation. Two words for you: Jerry. Springer. - Kane. What happened? I think that the only possible way for Kane to salvage his floundering career at this point is for someone, whether it is Matt Hardy or Shawn Michaels, to interfere in the wedding next week, and in the brawl that ensues have Lita get knocked down hard, causing her to lose the baby. I know this is harsh, and stepping into taboo territory, but this would give Kane an excuse to go absolutely psychotic and destroy everything in his path, which is how he should be. It also gives Lita a decent reason for turning heel, or even disappearing for a while until V1 returns from his surgery. - So, Lesnar gets tied up, doused in water, and pinned by his teammates as part of a hazing ritual. Hey, it’s better than being sodomized by broom handles and pine cones like they do in Mepham High School down here on Long Island. - Taboo Tuesday? Did they run out of all other T words? Torture, Triage, Tumult, Tornado, hell even Tickle-Me-Testicles would all be better options. - Chyna needs to be put out of my misery. With all the money Vince has, and HHH’s pull, don’t you think she should’ve been whacked by now? And for the record, a videotape of Chyna having sex is frightening. A video of X-Pac having sex is nauseating. A tape of the two of them having sex with each other makes Dr. Kevorkian look like a good choice for my family physician.  Top Five Female Wrestlers This first Top Five list is a tribute to brochio66 who writes the Women’s Wrestling Update in the LOP Columns Forum. This one’s for you, killer. 5. Nidia – She still has a long way to go, but she has improved a lot over the last few months. The fact of the matter is, I would rather see her than the Man-Beast Jazz on my screen any day of the week. 4. Trish Stratus – Used to be awful, got a lot better, has been slipping of late. I’m not counting the time she’s been out on injury either. She needs to step it back up a notch to be where she was about a year ago. 3. Victoria – A few months ago, she would’ve been number 1, but the damn dancer gimmick has totally blasted her. She can be a phenomenal wrestler, but many of her moves only really work when she’s a psycho. She needs to go back there. Oh yeah, and get Stevie out of the friggin dress already. 2. Molly Holly – Always been one of my favorites, and with good reason. She’s definitely one of the most talented female wrestlers to ever live. She stays out of the number one slot though, because her character has started to get stale. Very stale. She needs a boost from the character side to match her in ring abilities, then she’ll be number 1 with a bullet. 1. Gail Kim – I hated her when she first showed up, and how she won the title on her first night out. However, she deserves another shot at it now. She has gotten damn good in the ring, pulling out moves I’ve never even seen before. She has gotten much better and much more fluid in the ring, and better on the stick as well. Definitely my all around pick for Number 1 at this point in time.  A Tale Of Two Champions Now as you all know, last Sunday at SummerSlam, Randy Orton won the World Heavyweight Championship from arguably the greatest wrestler in the business today in Chris Benoit. You also know that in June at the Great American Bash, John Bradshaw Layfield won the WWE Championship from another one of the best wrestlers around today, Eddie Guerrero. Now, while there are a lot of differences between these two men, there are also a lot of similarities as well, and their respective runs with their brands’ World Title says a lot not only about themselves, but about their brand and where it is heading. I tend to look at these two from the perspective of a wrestling fan, and I see two very different things arising from very different yet similar circumstances. When JBL became the #1 Contender, he didn’t have to win a match to do it, he got it just because. When Orton became #1 contender, he beat out 19 other people in a Battle Royal for the position, and a hard-fought one at that. JBL appeared on the main event scene seemingly out of nowhere, as did Randy Orton. While JBL did not win the Title his first time challenging for it, Randy Orton did. JBL went on to win the title in his second shot against Eddie, while Orton managed to retain it in his second outing with Chris (granted with the distraction caused by Evolution). In short, each man had his own path to the title, but arrived there in similarly quick and out-of-the-blue fashion. When JBL won the title from Eddie, my shoulders slumped and my head dropped into my hands. From what I gather this same thing happened to about 98% of all wrestling fans the world over. The man has some decent mic skills, but I’ve seen toddlers with more wrestling ability than this man exhibits. To have the title go from Eddie, who is clearly very over with the fans and has excellent in-ring capabilities, to JBL who just learned how to talk and has all of five moves in his arsenal that aren’t a punch or kick, is a god damn travesty. Seriously, five moves: Headlock, Fallaway Slam, Shoulder Block, Clothesline from Hell, and now a Powerbomb. Not exactly Championship material by any stretch. I know that when Orton won the title many people’s feelings were split on the matter, including my own. I think it sucked that Benoit lost the title, and if it were me, I would’ve had Benoit retain at SummerSlam and then pass it to Orton at Unforgiven. This would have given the feud and its participants more credibility in the long run, and allowed the storyline to better develop over time. However, Orton has some great skills on the mic, maybe not as good as some, even JBL, but very decent nonetheless. He is also very fluid in the ring, with a fairly extensive moveset. What he lacks in his own moves, he makes up for in his ability to sell the moves of his opponents, which is something not all wrestlers can boast. While he has a lot of room to improve, he has improved a great deal over the last several months, and in my opinion can only get better from here. And no matter which way you slice it, he’s light years ahead of JBL at a fraction of the age. When you take a look at JBL’s title reign, there have been very few good things, if any, that have come out of it (he played the Midget Card for God’s sake!!!). He won the title in a cheap manner, and every time he has retained it, it has been under shady circumstances as well. The only clean matches he has won are the ones where he’s fed a cruiserweight to destroy. His options for feuds are almost non-existent, especially since they turned Eddie’s focus toward Angle. It seems that the future of JBL’s title reign points in one direction only: The Undertaker. Now these two put on a match as SummerSlam that completely surpassed my expectations, largely because I was expecting a large pile of donkey crap when I first heard about it. The match was far from great, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. This leaves the question of the rematch. I would imagine that this rematch will have to happen at the next SmackDown pay per view. In order for this match to go over well it has to be some sort of gimmick match, and the Undertaker will have to win. I am not thrilled about him being the Champ again, but at least it’ll get the belt off of JBL and be one step closer to respectable again. JBL’s title reign has severely damaged that title, and it will take some work to bring it back up to what it should be. The fact of the matter is that JBL can’t cleanly win a match with anyone he doesn’t outweigh by at least 100 pounds, and that is totally destroying his credibility as Champion, and the credibility and prestige of the title itself. Things have got to change before it’s too late. It’s hard to say what Orton’s title reign will bring as it has only just begun, but there are many options that lay before young Randy that should keep it interesting. Granted, the face turn that he is seemingly undergoing does limit these options somewhat, but there are still many great things that can come out of his run with the belt. First of all, regarding this face turn, we don’t know for sure whether or not this is the route that will be taken, despite all of the rumors posted on the main page. What if the beatdown he received from Evolution only serves to strengthen his bond to that group, much in the same way Austin’s beatdown of Tazz did during the Invasion? What if Randy keeps his arrogant ways and remains a heel, just not associated with Evolution, and teams up with Benoit out of necessity to take down Evolution, only to screw him at the first opportunity once the job is done? Even if Orton does in fact turn face, there are plenty of options for him in that realm as well. I know it will be on shakier ground because his abilities as World Champion are untested, as are his abilities as a face character, but there are still plenty of good things that can come of this scenario. The major obvious one is teaming with Benoit and perhaps Jericho or a returning Shelton Benjamin to help bring down Evolution. There is an impending one on one feud with HHH that should bring out the best in both men. Outside of the Evolution front, there is always the possibility of face vs. face feuds with Jericho, Benoit, and others. He could also continue his feud with Edge, whether either man is a face or a heel. Any way you look at it, things look fairly bright for his future, and hopefully the credibility that Chris Benoit gave to that title will start to rub off on Orton and he’ll live up to the expectations that we as wrestling fans have of the World Heavyweight Champion, and hopefully he’ll be able to carve his niche in history, maybe not as one of the greatest champions ever, but a great champ nonetheless. The IWC reaction to these two men becoming champion has been very different with a few common similarities. Most people argue that it was just too soon for both of these men to be given the belts, and with that I tend to agree. However, many people I have come across and conversed with feel that JBL probably shouldn’t have ever gotten the title. Title shot perhaps, but only after a few more months of development, but he should never have been given the belt. I tend to agree with this opinion, mainly because I can’t stand him assing up my TV on a weekly basis. I have seen very few people in support of JBL as champion, and many members of the IWC want to see him out as quickly as he came. Peoples’ opinion on Orton tends to be split down the middle as to whether he deserves it or not, but most feel that given more time he could be great. One thing that is interesting to note is that his title reign has sparked a huge amount of discussion in the Forums. While JBL’s win did too, most of it was “He shouldn’t have gotten it.” The discussions on Orton are true debates where people are fighting both sides of the argument, and at times the debate has become quite intense. In my opinion, this is exactly what the WWE should want to do in this type of situation: spark interest, make people want to watch and see what he does next. Half of the people may be hoping he falls on his face, while the other half hope he becomes one of the greats, but either way we will all be watching to see which route is the one he takes. This is yet another line that divides the two current champions. Many people seem to have hopes that Randy can and will be something great, while just as many think he’ll fall on his ass and be an embarrassment. However, most feel that JBL is past his prime and should not be in the title picture, and his very presence there is causing the credibility of the title to drop tremendously. In this writer’s opinion, he has worn out his welcome and needs to step aside before the prestige of that title is damaged beyond repair. Bottom line? JBL has done more to ruin the credibility of the top title than anyone I can remember in recent history, with the possible exception of David Arquette. Hopefully in two months time I will be able to look back on Orton’s title reign after about the same amount of time and be able to say just the opposite.  - At SummerSlam, Undertaker threw a punch at JBL outside the ring that totally missed, but JBL was looking right at him and made absolutely NO attempt to sell that punch whatsoever. The only person who tried to sell the punch was Tazz on commentary. That is truly frightening. - Kane and Lita getting married Live on RAW next week!!! I knew this was coming, but when I saw that invitation with Kane’s badly dubbed voiceover, I started to cringe in fear. I actually literally had a nightmare about this crap. If it takes up more than about 10 to 15 minutes of my TV time, I will be uber-pissed. - I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I actually enjoyed the Diva Search segment this week on RAW. Something about them all annihilating Carmella got me all giddy. They need to boot her off ASAP. Anyway, the reason this is a nightmare? It scares me that I actually didn’t mind this segment that is usually a waste of precious TV time. Somebody call my therapist!! - JBL in a neckbrace = funny. JBL taking up about 15 minutes of TV time just TRYING TO GET INTO THE RING so he can talk for another 15 minutes is a god damn nightmare. - Kenzo Suzuki was on my TV again. I want my mommy. - Honorable mention: Chyna and X-Pac having sex. Picture it… Now cry.  Dream Evil – The Book Of Heavy Metal My first exposure to this band came in the form of a collection of copied CDs my friend Steve gave me as a wedding present. They were extremely good, so when I saw this new album I figured “What the hell,” and picked it up. Damn good decision. Any fan of Metal music needs to get this one ASAP. The singer can hit the high notes with the best of them, Halford and Tim Owens included. The drum lines tend to be simple, but extremely driving and worthy of fist pounding. The guitar lines are phenomenal and really showcase the awesome talent of the guitarists. The title track always gets me going and leads to a little bit of Lead Foot Action while I’m driving. Other noteworthy songs on the album include Crusader’s Anthem, Tired, Let’s Make Rock, and Sledge. Definitely an awesome album all around, and a must have for any die-hard fan of true metal. Check it out, and hopefully you won’t regret it! For those of you who have heard it, let me know whether you agree or disagree, I’m always in the mood for a good debate!  Well, that about does it for this First Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. The alarm clock is blaring, and it’s time once again to return to the waking world. Any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated and can either be posted here, or sent to me via email at morpheuslop@gmail.com. So until next time, thanks for reading! And don’t forget, I’ll see you in your dreams. *NEW GALLERY* New AMAZING Candid Photos of Karen Angle on BLTS! WOW!
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