TNA Impact Results 8-24-06
Submitted by Jules on Friday, August 25, 2006 at 12:13 AM EST





This week we open with Brother Runt outside the Impact Zone with Jeremy Borash. He challenges Abyss to a ‘Ten thousand thumbtack match’ next week. The camera zooms up to Raven who is perched on top of a trailer in the back. Cut to a recap of last weeks Sting/Jarrett stuff and we’re off and running with the TNA intro video.

In the ring Shane Douglas has the stick. He puts over the Naturals and says it’s time for them to become the champions. He asks the fans whether or not they want to see the Naturals as the next NWA tag team champions. They don’t seem to mind the idea that much for some reason. Now out comes the team in question for our opening matchup of the night.

Match One – The Paparazzi vs. The Naturals

All four men start us off inside the ring. The Paparazzi gain an early advantage and send the Naturals outside the ring. The Naturals however ‘skin the cat’ back over the top rope and then return to the ring to offer up some offense of their own on Shelley and Devine.. We now cut to commercial as The Paparazzi have just been thrown to the outside in unison.

We return from commercials just in time to see the Paparazzi firmly in control of this match. They work the Naturals over for a good period of time until Johnny Devine misses the big moonsault allowing the Naturals to make the tag and switch the momentum back around to their side of things. The Naturals now go for a double team powerbomb on Devine, but Alex Shelley intentionally trips up Andy Douglas in order to let Devine score the quick pinfall victory. This provokes The Franchise to come out and browbeat his boys straight into the ground.

Your Winners: Devine and Shelley.

Jeremy Borash is in the back with TNA’s resident traveling magicians America’s Most Wanted (And their luscious and distracting little helper Gail Kim). They argue about some stuff, but then appear to make nice by cracking open some buds and clanking beer bottles. Christy Hemme pops up just in time to remind me why I love this show as much as I do. Thank you Christy. Damn you commercials.

A video recap of the Christian Cage heel turn airs. It’s basically the same thing they aired last week, just tweaked and shortened abit. A lone chair and microphone await in the ring as Christian Cage prepares to make his way to the ring to address his public. Mike Tenay syas Christian wasn’t at Impact last week because he wanted to let things ‘cool down’ abit before he showed up. Hardee Har Har.

Christian goes on a long rant about Sting, mocking his faith, and then proclaims himself to be ‘God’.. ( In a related note Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels are now both contemplating suing 'God' for no showing Backlash a few months back.) Rhino has heard enough of Christian’s crapola and decides to come out and do something about it. He demands some answers pronto! Christian reminds Rhino how he has always supported him in the past. He brings up various real life incidents in which he claims to have been there personally for Rhino. He reminds Rhino that Sting has never done jack for him. Christian hands Rhino a chair and then turns his back to him. He tells him to do what he has to do, but reminds him that he would be flushing down ten years of loyal friendship in the process. Christian goads Rhino, saying he lives in a bigger house, drives a better car and is a bigger star than him. Rhino throws down the chair. Christian says he’s the only one here with any balls apparently. Rhino responds saying he doesn’t need a chair to kick somebody’s ass. Rhino now goes after Cage and dominates him until a miscued gore into a chair sends him down. Christian now attacks the bloodied Rhino with the dented chair. Cage exits the ring and gets another chair. He places Rhino’s head on the chair placed on the mat and then wields another one over him and brings it crashing down on Rhino’s skull! CONCHAIRTO! Commercials.

A video recap of Earl Hebner’s recent insanity plays. Larry Z now appears to address the situation stating he has no control over anything. We all know the wig is really in charge anyway. Eric Young appears. Larry tells him that next week Eric Young has a match in which if he loses he is FIIIIRED!

James Mitchell joins Tenay and West and tells Don West that listening to him speak is about as much fun as bobbing for apples in a colostomy bag.. Strange to think someone would actually try that kinda thing, but to each their own I guess.

Match Two – Abyss vs. Cassidy Riley


Abyss dominates Riley while Mitchell sprinkles some tacks on the announce table. Mitchell calls for the doomsday device, Abyss hits the Black Hole slam and that is all she wrote for this little squash. Abyss spills some tacks in the ring and then starts punching at them! Ouch ouch ouch…..


Your winner: Abyss ( And the friendly folks at Ace Hardware)

We’re back yet again from commercials and we now officially have Sting’s answer to Jeff Jarrett’s career stipulation challenge. Sting will indeed agree to put it all on the line for one more shot at the gold. The production values on this promo are off the page. Jeff Jarrett comes out and takes the contract for the Bound For Glory match in his hands. He says next week we will see a public execution performed. He walks away with the contract, having yet to sign it.

A package for our LAX/Styles/Daniels main event plays.

Match Three – (Border Brawl for the NWA Tag Team Titles) LAX vs. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels.

The match begins fast and furious with all four men brawling visciously around ringside. Christopher Daniels now climbs up into the barrier over the announce position and takes a huge dive onto Hernandez as we cut to the obligatory post dive commercial.

We’re back from commercial and the brawl continues. AJ and Homicide duke it out on the outside while Daniels and Hernandez fight in the six sided ring. Homicide enters the ring now and LAX begins to beat down the Fallen Angel. Hernandez exits the ring and begins to brutalize Styles. LAX now goes after Daniels in the ring again but he fights them both off with a steel chair. Just when you think the champs have regained the advantage though Hernandez suplexes Daniels and LAX is back in control. A table is brought into the ring and set up by Hernandez.

AJ Styles who can barely stand somehow musters up a second wind and re-enters this ruckus. Daniels hits Homicide with an STO and AJ nails Hernandez with a diving planchas. Homicide now has Daniels perched on the top rope by the table. Daniels fights back and is about to hit an Angles Wings through the table. Konnan now shows up and slapjacks Daniels, thus allowing Homicide to hit the Gringo Cutter off the top through the table. Homicide covers Daniels in the shattered remains of the table for the three count.


Your winners and new tag team champions!: LAX!


Very good show this week. The Naturals seem to be sailing back down the card where they belong, Christian Cage cut another strong promo with Rhino. Every major storyline was advanced. The only thing missing really was Samoa Joe. Although the fact that we have NEW NWA world tag team champions in Homicde and Hernandez more than make up for that in my eyes.



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