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Submitted by Xan on Sunday, August 6, 2006 at 2:30 AM EST
 "Capacity never lacks opportunity. It cannot remain undiscovered because it is sought by too many anxious to use it."--Cochran So, Sabu vs. The Big Show. That's what we want to see? That's the premier match-up ECW can offer us, huh? I don't think so, and furthermore I'm a little offended by the suggestion. I've got nothing against the Big Show and even less against Sabu. Fuck, that grammar was way too Cena-like for my taste, but you know what I mean. I'm not one of those Internet Wrestling Community stalwarts who thing big men and big man matches suck. Even after all these years of watching men like Big John Studd, Andre the Giant, and Big Van Vader I'm still awed by guys like Big Show, Kane, and, especially, Kane and The Undertaker. Am I a fan of every big man? Hell no, but I'm not a big fan of every average to little man, either. Scotty Too Hotty and Jeff Jarrett come to mind as guys I'd rather toss out a window than watch "wrestle" and morons like Nathan Jones and The Great Khali are on the other side of the ledger to balance it out. I've got absolutely zero problem putting Paul Wight as one of the big men that are well worth watching. In fact, I can remember a couple of times when he was the hottest thing going in professional wrestling. Many of those times have nothing to do at all with his actual wrestling skill and more who he was involved with, but nevertheless there's no doubt during his early years as a wrestler he was a hot topic of conversation. It all pretty much started at the same time he did and word floated across the internet that this 7 foot rookie was agile enough to throw both a dropkick and a moonsault. When I first read that it drew oohs and ahs from my mental mouth until the obvious realization sank in: Sure, he can throw them, but who the hell's going to catch them? Yeah, I don't know, either, or at least I didn't know back then. Remember, Wight debuted in WCW, not the WWF, and we're talking about back when Hulk Hogan was the only guy there that was even close to The Giant's size. You new school fans may not know this, but soon after Paul Wight became famous for having such rumored agility for a big man, he quickly became notorious for something that he had pretty much nothing to do with. See, when he debuted it was part of the faction that Kevin Sullivan had formed with the intention of destroying Hulk Hogan; kind of a poor man's version of the Heenan Family. Wight soon became the crown jewel of this faction and was given the moniker The Giant, which while an apt description of the man also led to the unfortunate storytelling decision of Sullivan declaring him to be the progeny of Andre the Giant. Soon afterwards, The Giant was known nearly universally across the IWC as TSANH or The Son Andre Never Had. Careers have been derailed by less, but not this one. The Giant went on to accomplish great things in WCW, and these were enough to help him overcome the sarcastic nickname and also keep him far away from the backburner. Just consider everything he did in a short span: his first two WCW World Title victories were over Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, he joined the blazing hot NWO and got the subsequent rub both on the side of and in programs against Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sting, and the new entity known as Hollywood Hogan. He's easily the best big man in the history of WCW, and, of course, once that well ran dry he left for the greener pastures of the WWF. Greener in the sense of the money he earned, but not in terms of remaining a megastar. Theoretically, Paul Wight should have been a better fit for the WWF than for WCW, but despite his multiple reigns as champion he's been largely a bust there. You could make the argument that a man of his size doesn't need to be anything more than a transitional champion to remain over with the fans and near the top of the card and you'd be right; it all depends on the booking and in Show's case, it's always been lacking with McMahon's organization. He came in with a bang during the main event of St. Valentine's Day Massacre, but pretty much everything since then has been a whimper...until now, when he's finally again getting a chance with someone who knows how to use him. "Problems are the price of progress. Don't bring me anything but trouble."--Charles F. Kettering Just as the booking around Show has always been lacking, much the same could be said about the WWF stint of Rob Van Dam. For the most part his time in the organization has been a huge disappointment. A man many--myself included--felt destined to be a major promotion main eventer and a true superstar in the business has rarely been above the midcard despite his obvious talent. When RVD arrived in the organization there were still big men there, but thanks to the efforts of Randy Savage, Bret Hart, and Shawn Michaels it was no longer the Land of the Giants and thus in this era a man of his stature and abilities should have been a huge success in the World Wrestling Federation. It hasn't worked that way and one has to wonder why. I'm sure some would make the argument that since RVD never made it to the very top of a smaller organization like Extreme Championship Wrestling it's unfair to expect him to have done better than that in the WWF. However, while it's true that Rob Van Dam wasn't World Champion of the original ECW and spent almost all of his time there in the midcard, it isn't the same at that place and time as it is in the WWF now. While I think the current 3-way feud between Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin, and Carlito is infinitely more entertaining than the John Cena/Edge program that's headlining RAW, it's clearly below it not only visually, but in the reactions of those that convey importance of angles: the commentators. That wasn't the case in ECW from the moment Rob Van Dam won the ECW TV Title. He held that strap for nearly two years and never jobbed it away. He only wasn't the champion any longer because he broke his leg in the middle of a match. Over that two years, he made the TV Title arguably more important and definitely at least as important as the ECW World Title in the minds of the fans, because he was so damned good, the matches he had were so damned good, and no matter how good his opponent was on any given night he was never beaten, yet the state of the World Championship was always in transition. There are other factors involved of course: his cockiness, his charisma and flair, his strong work-rate, agility, and the amazing way in which he was able to innovate moves we'd never seen before. All of these, combined with the fact that he was working for a visionary who was trying to run a different kind of wrestling organization and was willing to give him the creative freedom necessary to become the performer he one day would. Along with all of these is the simple fact that Rob Van Dam became the face of ECW for two very important reasons. The first is that when someone turned on ECW and said to their friends, "Hey, man, you gotta check ECW out to see this guy..." they were more than likely talking about RVD. The second is simply that when everyone left; Tazz, Raven, Sandman, etc. he was still there working his ass off even without getting a steady paycheck. No, I think it's safe to say that despite the fact he held a midcard title, Rob Van Dam was anything but in ECW. He was definitely the cream of their crop of performers and their #1 draw. It's a lot like the way the Intercontinental Title was back when Hulk Hogan ruled the WWF than what it is now. Not that Hogan wasn't the big draw back then, of course he was, but the Intercontinental Title meant a lot more then than it does now because there were so many guys that were basically main eventers competing for it, since Hogan held the strap for such a long time. No, I'm pretty confident in saying Rob Van Dam really was the main event of ECW, no matter where he was actually placed on the card. So why didn't this translate to success in the WWF even though he really caught on with fans during the wonderfully fucked up Invasion angle in 2001? Some suggest that it's because he doesn't have the mic skills the WWF requires of its superstars, but that's bull. He may not be absolute gold on the mic, but can the guy who once told HBK to call himself the showstopper because he's the fucking show and also called himself 3/4 of the tag team champs all of a sudden can't talk? Some say he's not a complete package in-ring and I offer any match he's ever had as evidence to the contrary. Even if the reason is that there were so many guys in front of him, that should have ended when the brand split occurred, but even then he was mired in tag team and intercontinental wars at least a year after he should have been World Champion. It still staggers the mind to this day, but the record was finally set straight this year when Van Dam hit the 5-Star Frog Splash to defeat John Cena for the WWF Title. "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."--Helen Keller Two days later, of course, he was awarded the ECW World Title and a couple weeks after that both of them were sucked away in a whirlwind of his own creation. That doesn't necessarily make the results just. First of all, is it really a shock to any of us that a professional wrestler would have and use painkillers with all the abuse they put their bodies through between four and six days a week? No. Also, is it any shock to us that Rob Van Dam would smoke mairjuana? Again, I have to answer in the negative. So, what's really the point here? That he broke this new "wellness" policy the WWF has in place or that he did it as champion of the organization? I submit that it was the latter and that he was fucking idiotic for getting pulled over for speeding with said illegal narcotics in his possession, but I will also state that I don't believe the punishments are logical in any way. I say this even though I have read the recent rumors that Randy Orton's suspension was due to being found with marijuana for two reasons: 1) Orton had a ton of behavioral problems leading up to this result and 2) I don't like Orton. Now, the second reason may seem pretty petty, and it definitely is, but when you consider the fact that Sabu got a measley(by their standards, definitely not mine) $1,000 dollar fine and Rob Van Dam got not one, but two titles he worked all his life for stripped away from him and a 30-day suspension without pay merely because Vince likes Sabu, I think the reason holds quite a bit of merit. In any case, here's what should have happened: RVD should not have been suspended and he should not have had to job the ECW World Championship away. I'm in complete agreement with his losing the WWF Title to Edge, because even though I don't think his offenses grievous at all I can certainly understand the desire to not have the man representing your company, the biggest wrestling organization there's ever been, being convicted of some sort of drug charge. But why strip him of the ECW Title? They are trying to promote this reincarnation as a band of bad-ass rebels with no regard for the laws of society and Van Dam was just legit arrested, so instead of promoting him more for it they take the title away? Not only is it senseless, it's a lost opportunity...with a new one gained that it appears they're also going to blow. I can remember several matches where The Big Show and Rob Van Dam have been against each other, but I can't remember them actually having a feud and they aren't going to now, either. And why? Well, because Vince McMahon likes Sabu and wants to push him. Nobody really believes Sabu's going to win the strap, right? So why even bother? Because they need to build Rob Van Dam back into a contender? C'mon, he's the Whole Fucking Show and now that ECW's going to the small arenas he's going to be back in front of the people that helped make him a star. He doesn't need to be built back up into a contender and they don't need to try to sell the story that Paul Heyman was trying to save Van Dam from himself because he defended the title too much. Big Show's defended the strap on every ECW show since he won it. We also don't need the build-up for these two guys to feud. As I illustrated, we have their similar backstories here. That and the fact that Van Dam will rightly be out for blood over what was stolen from him should be all we need to know, but instead they are going to do what WWF companies always do...try to drag it out. This is one time they shouldn't and it isn't just because we don't need months of build-up for them to sell us on that feud, but also because they should rectify the mistake they made by taking the strap away from him in the first place. Besides which, there's something else at stake here that's almost as important: Honor. Why move Paul Wight to a different show and have him keep the same crappy name and the same crappy music? The "show" label really only applied for a few months of his career when back in 2000 he would put on one for the fans by dancing around and imitating people. He's a big, powerful, mean destructive force now, right? So, why not have The Whole Fucking Show vs. The Big Show: winner takes the name. That way the one true show will be able to call himself that without challenge while being ECW World Heavyweight Champion and the other guy can have a new moniker that compliments his new style: The Big Nasty. That will conclude today's voyage on The Northern Star. For feedback, please email me atXanManX@hotmail.com, with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line or click here to leave it in the LOPForums. The Northern Star will rise again. Until then, Long days, pleasant nights
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