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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, July 23, 2006 at 8:04 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – I Miss Jericho Greetings! Welcome to another edition of…whoops! New Flash! The Punjab Prison match that was originally supposed to feature Khali has been changed again. Hours ago, the plan was to use Big Show in that Spot. But after a long night of discussion, word has leaked out that another change has occurred. One hour ago, Vince called a meeting according to my sources. The match will still be a Punjab Prison match, but Big Show has been taken off the card. The word is that Undertaker was unhappy with Big Show being added, and has insisted that since this will be his 9th match this year, he wants to make it special. So, a handicap stipulation has been added. More word on the developing situation as it comes in. Well, that’s a surprise. I’ll keep you folks updated as my source text messages me. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. The only column that Vince turns to when it hits the fan. I am pleased to say that the call for stats has been answered not just by one kind soul, but two. We also have another edition of Not Kane’s House, from loyal reader Stu. And then there’s plenty of wrestling news to talk about, so let’s hit the stats now, and then a very special look at TNA. Because I actually remembered the show was on, not once, but twice. It’s a miracle. Undertaker Stats From the one and only, Sheepster: [---QUOTE---] Undertaker shows up on TV!!! It truly is a night of miracles! OK stat boys, I have a favor to ask. How many times has Undertaker been on TV this year? Not video clips, actually in the ring. A separate stat for matches would be appreciated. Because it's time for more fun with math. [---END---] Aloha, Wevv! Stat Sheep here... I didn't know if you were serious, but damnit I'm the Stat Sheep, and by god I'll take any half-hearted stat-request and make a challenge out of it. Undertaker has physically shown up 10 times this year, including Saturday Night's Main Event. He's only had 7 matches. Sheepster Thanks Sheepster! You da Sheep! I got another one. From Kyle: I read your column earlier tonight (I'm a longtime fan, first time writer of feedback. I never had any nitpicking to do or anything to contribute, and I assume you get enough "Great column this week" emails that I chose not to waste your time), and I saw that you wanted the information on how many appearences Undertaker has made on WWE TV this year. Well, I was bored after Raw (I was also pretty bored during Raw, but that's another issue entirely), so I reviewed all the DVDs I've burned of WWE events since the beginning of 2006 and have compiled what I'm pretty sure is a complete list. As of Saturday Night's Main Event the other day, his appearances have been as follows (I've separated appearances and matches, but I have also counted the times that he did nothing other than wrestle a match as an appearance as well. Hence, things like Judgment Day and WrestleMania are in both categories): Appearances 1/29/06 (Royal Rumble) 2/3/06 2/10/06 2/17/06 2/19/06 (No Way Out) 3/3/06 3/18/06 (Saturday Night’s Main Event) 4/2/06 (WrestleMania 22) 4/7/06 5/21/06 (Judgment Day) 7/14/06 7/15/06 (Saturday Night’s Main Event) Matches 2/10/06 (vs. Mark Henry)* 2/17/06 (with Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry & MNM)* 2/19/06 (vs. Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Championship)* 3/3/06 (vs. Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Championship)* 4/2/06 (vs. Mark Henry in a Casket Match) 4/7/06 (vs. Mark Henry)* 5/21/06 (vs. The Great Khali) * This match was the main event of whatever show it was on So there you have it. A grand total of 11 appearances in six and a half months, only 7 of which did he actually wrestle at. I didn't count times when his voice came over the PA or anything like that, only times he was physically in the arena. It's worth noting, in my mind anyway, that 6 of his 7 matches in 2006 has involved either Kurt Angle or Mark Henry in some way. I hope this list helps you, and sorry if someone already has provided you with one. Either way, at least maybe I can show it to my girlfriend and convince her that it is not OK for her to like the Undertaker. She's nostalgic for the old days when he actually showed up once in a while, which I understand to some degree, but those days are long over, and I also feel that if she had actively watched WWE during the days of biker Undertaker, she wouldn't be so nostalgic now. Keep up the good work on your column. The only thing I can say I would like to see different about it is more coverage of TNA. I'm the only person I know who watches it actively, so I have no one to talk to about it, but I feel like if you covered it more in your column, at least when I read it I would be getting someone else's opinion on the goings-on, instead of just my own. But either way, consistently great job, keep it up. -Kyle Thank you gentlemen. I truly appreciate the work you folks put into digging up those stats. So, with eight matches under his belt, since the beginning of the year, let’s have some fun with math: Let’s say Undertaker is paid a million a year to wrestle. That’s $125,000 per match for 8 matches. He does wrestle house shows, so, let’s say that Taker is paid more than a million per year, since he’s been around so much. Now, appearances on TV works out to: Roughly $80 grand to show up on TV. Once. Now, the thing that really bugs me is the house show deal. Taker and some other big names wrestle house shows, dark matches and the like. But the house show business has not been that good. In fact, it’s up from previous years, but not markedly so. So, paying Taker to work house shows is not really worth it, in my mind. That fifty grand or so you're paying Taker to work a house show could be better spent on, oh, say promoting the event. For 10 grand in radio and print ads may have the same effect as saying Undertaker is going to be there. But dammit! He’s won his Wrestlemania match 14 years in a row! Because Vince said he would! Show some respect Wevv! And, with that in mind, I have another request for my stat friends. Who has worked the most matches, and been on TV the most? Just off the top of my head I would say: Raw: John Cena Edge Smackdown: Rey Mysterio Fit Finlay Yes, the best workers, in terms of constant matches, of high importance, would be the guy most say can't wrestle (John Cena) and a guy who risks his neck, after having spinal fusion surgery (Edge). On Smackdown, the champ who gets no respect (From WWE) Rey, and the guy who wasn’t supposed to get over (Fit Finlay). Now, these are just guestimates, and if my stat loving friends who be so kind as to provide me with some data, we’ll find out. It’s a big job, and I thank you in advance for trying. Now, let’s take a look at the TV this week shall we? WWE TV – The Series Raw Recap courtesy of Chad Matthews Only a few talking points this time. DX Well, they turned it around to a degree. Vince is still a total putz. Shane is now his patsy. And H? Well, who got to wear to cool DX shirt? See, that’s my problem with this whole angle. It’s nothing but H. Seriously, even Vince is getting the short end of the stick. H is the one who gets the attention. He’s the one who gets to make the saves. HBK does most of the in-ring work. It’s the H push of 2002-2004, only difference is that now, WWE wants you to cheer for H. The Spirit Squad has been completely crushed, just as they were really making strides. In fact, the news broke that the Spirit Squad is being broken up. That’s pathetic. This match showed the Squad looking fairly strong. They got to beat up HBK, but the big turning point came when HBK countered the High Spirits. In one hell of an impressive move. He landed on his feet. That was a ‘WHOA!” moment. H then ran in and cleaned house. Oh, and did anyone notice that when H came in for the save, he took out two guys, and then sold a low blow that was late, before he rolled out of the ring? Yeah. So, now that the slightest degree of revenge is being called for, it’s bye-bye Spirit Squad. They win the belts, and then job for months, and now, it’s over. Good luck Highlanders. I’m sure you’ll get the belts, since you’re new, but getting the belts means nothing but jobs. There is no balance in this angle. The material has gotten better, but it’s not good enough to cover up that fact. In fact, it’s far from it. It’s just highlighting that fact. Vince and company lose matches. Vince and company lose the verbal sparring. Vince, who for months was portrayed as unstoppable, is now completely powerless. And stupid. And there’s no rhyme or reason for that, except it’s H. I know the HBK marks are rooting for this angle. No problem with that. But for myself, who is not a HBK mark, I’d rather see an actual battle, not a squash. I’m willing to give H a shot, but so far, he hasn't given me anything to root for. I’ve seen the H squash jobs. I didn't like it then, and I still don't like it when it’s Vince. Who needed a good squashing two months ago, when he was going against HBK and Cena. Now, you killed that in the second week WWE. Time to try and restore the balance. But I guess asking to sell for the Squad is too much for H. Now, who could take that place? Hm? Who is getting a Vince Pet Project Push, and is actually making some progress? Umaga vs Cena Umaga won. It was by crook, but the Samoan Bulldozer got the win. Good luck with DX. There was some good stuff on this show. Some really good, and some just good. Foley Best promos so far this year. Great job Mick. Ric got some time to think about his material and turned it up a notch. Carlito vs Benjamin vs Nitro With Trish and Melina added to the mix. I like the action. Carlito has been showing off, and Benjamin now has two people he can really work with. Some great things could come from this, but if WWE is willing to put the Kibosh on the Squad, I’m not going to let my expectations get too high, as previous experience has shown me that if something starts to overshadow the “Stars” Well, that’ no allowed. Orton vs Hogan Just a couple of questions. Is it a good idea to have some one with emotional problems play a very disturbed emotionally character? On the other hand, DDP would be proud. So, people hate Hogan. Does that mean they are now Randy Orton fans? It’s Randy Orton people. You really think Hogan, no wait, scratch that. Do you really WANT Hogan to put over Orton? So, a show that’s in a building process. Towards Summer Slam. Some good stuff, and some bad stuff. The good stuff does a nice job of balancing out the bad, so a decent show in my opinion. ECW Recap Courtesy of David Slade Kelly, Sandman, Knoxx So, Knoxx got to beat up the Sandman. A big deal? No, not really, Sandman has to take a tumble sometime. Better now than later, where this can be an actual feud. With a hot chick involved. The chick did learn a few moves, but not enough. Which leads me to this: ECW NEEDS CHICKS!!! ECW needs to get involved in the Divas Search. With Paul E actually working the segment, it will get better, and be more acceptable to wrestling fans. How? Simple, Paul offer the winner of the Divas Search the job of being the ECW Queen Of Extreme! Where they do things… a little differently. Hell, take three of those chicks, and let the fun begin. Jen would be good. She already has the instincts. Layla would be better in WWE proper. Milena would be good. Give the old Dawn Marie role to Rebecca or JT, and you got gold. The Divas Search could benefit from some ECW, and ECW could REALLY benefit from some Divas. CM Punk and Prince of Punk, and Balls OK, so we’re getting to know these guys. CM Punk is by far the best of the three. That guy means business. What does CM stand for though? I have a sneaky suspicion it could be…..CHAD MATTHEWS!!! Yes, that’s right. The hardest working man in recapping is the hardest working man in wrestling. Shannon Moore, well, it’s funny. WWE started this whole Prince of Punk thing, fired his ass, and now brought him back when he went over the top. His mic time will be crucial though. And Balls. He’s a bad ass. No doubt about that., but eh. VAMPIRE! Well now, they finally did something with the Vampire character. I’m intrigued. It could be good. Big Show vs Taker Well, it started off OK. Then Khali had to come out, since Taker just couldn’t do a clean job. And well, who was the guy standing over Taker with no sign of the other guy, and it’s his show? Pun fully intended? Yep. And---Hold on! News Flash! This just in! Reports are now leaking out that tonight’s Punjab Prison match will indeed be a handicapped match! WWE is flying in, at great expense talent from around the globe. Words came from Johnny Ace that we need more than just two people, to fill Khali’s spot, and that WWE is actually looking for more! More on this as it develops. Eh, the show was better than last week, but not by much. Rating came in, and even though the show as delayed an hour, it did a 2.2. Which is almost as good as Saturday Night Main Event. Smackdown Recap Courtesy of Jason Mark Henry Out eight months. Batista is acting like Mark is faking his injury. Which is an interesting way to go. Could it all be a work? Who knows, but it’s a very slim chance. Booker, Rey, Chavo I like that combination, but I see no reason to turn Chavo on Rey. It’s the swerve everyone is expecting. Chavo working against Booker seems like a better long-term plan than having him work against Mysterio, which could be a good Survivor Series angle. Giving away the match before the PPV? Surprising, but I’m hopeful that means that Vince wanted to know what kind of match they can work, since he doesn't even watch house shows. So, my hope is that Rey and Booker are given a lot of time. They just showed they can bring the goods. Lashley and Finlay A really good match, and these two have worked against each other for a long time. Time to mix it up and see what they can do against separate opponents. And well, lookee here. Bobby just got suspended. For medical reasons. Man, what is it with liver problems? Psychosis and Super Crazy These guys work a great match when they are allowed to work some of their moves in. I like Sugar Shane Helm’s role. He’s a great cruiserweight champion. Final show before the PPV. Mark Henry is out, so the plans changed. Then plans changed even more after the show was taped. Now, it’s anything can happen. I kinda like that. It’s going to be an interesting PPV. In who Vince decided to hand the ball to. And since the roster is pretty thin, this is a good chance for the undercard to step up and earn a more permanent spot. Sorry Stu, but the column is running long, so your Kane’s House piece will have to wait until next week. I’ll just say that I read it and liked it and I think it’s well worth the wait. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: The Vacuum Well, Smackdown just took another hit. And then they got hit again. Mark Henry, out eight months. Bobby Lashley, out indefinitely, Khali, since they already had the card and magic markers out, out as well. Reason? Enzymes. Big Show? In. Well, at least he was. Benoit? Out. Angle? Out. RVD? Out. So on and so forth. Seems like everyone has some health issues. And the good news is, they’re being caught before they get too serious. That’s a good thing for the wrestlers. It may give them a hit in the wallet short term, but it means more to their well being in the long run. It’s times like these when we could really use Jericho. Remember Jericho? He’s the guy who was the first ever Undisputed Champion. Of course that was way back in the day, before Steph took over completely and utterly. Back when Rock was around. Yeah, way back then. Jericho was the guy the WWE used to get their idea of The Next Main Eventer over. Jericho was the Midcard Stepping Stone. He worked with Edge, masters, Batista, Benjamin, Carlito, Hassan, and so on, and so forth. He was the guy that got those guys ready to play in the big time. Jericho had talent, and plenty of it. As one of the last guys to have a regular “Show” on WWE TV, he was the guy who set up angles, and gave them that little something to make them exciting. The “Highlight Reel” truly was a highlight, nine times out of ten. Jericho knew how to work a main event style. His matches were good, and as the genius behind the Money In The Bank, he gave WWE an annual event that would lay the groundwork for a long angle, to make sure that all the pieces were in place before taking that final step. Yes, Jericho was the guy that WWE turned to when they needed a spot filled. Jericho was the guy who spent the most time in the Elimination Chamber matches when they first debuted. Because Jericho could work with just about anyone. Jericho could speak. Jericho had charisma. Jericho had the complete package. Sure, maybe his charisma wasn’t on the level of the Rock or Hogan. But he had a loyal following. He was one of the IWC chosen. A guy who never got the big break. And it seemed from this end of the TV that it was management holding him back. But, he got to leave in a way he wanted. He did the job, got Cena ready, and boy howdy, did he. His work with Edge seemed to rub off on Edge. Christian became a stronger personality because of his own talent and his work with Jericho. So, who took Jericho’s spot? No one it seems. The basic plan is still there, and has been filled by a rotating cast. Kane was the guy, but he’s on the outs. Edge was the heir apparent, but Edge turned up his performance a notch, and with talent fading, he stayed on top. Carlito was a spot filler, but Carlito has too much charisma. And in ring talent. On Smackdown, it looked like JBL would get that role, but JBL knows politics too well, and when it came time to do the jobs, well, it didn't happen. Mark Henry was the closest. He was a credible threat. And his mic work got a lot better. But the injury bug set him back. Indeed, it seems like management is willing to give opportunities. And it’s outside circumstances that hamper the movement. But what of Jericho? Will he ever make a return and finally get a shot at a world title? Well, Chris seems pretty busy. He’s acting. He’s got his own radio show. He’s still got his band. He’s working improv comedy dates with the Groundlings. And now rumors are swirling that he’ll write an autobiography. Jericho always was media savy. Even back in the day, when the H media push was in full out attack mode, Jericho managed to get gigs on TV shows. VH1 in particular. Heh, I’d love for Jericho to show up on Hogan Knows Best. That would be a hoot and a half. But this is wrestling and one truth stands above all the others. Never say Never. I’m sure that Jericho will be back at some time. Same with Rock. It’s too much fun to pass up. But the situation has to be right. For them, not WWE. That’s what WWE never seems to grasp. Rock would come back, if in the original pitch the words “ …and then you’ll lose, and H will beat that guy the next night”. The deal with Austin last year, when JR was fired was an eye opener. It shows that WWE is still very petty. Austin came back, willing to work an angle, and then that angle went south, as personal amusements won out over sound business. Jericho got plenty of that in his time with WWE. I still shudder about the Undisputed Champion picking up dog crap and running out to get Steph hand lotion. It’s something I’m sure Jericho hasn't forgotten either. But Wevv, you might say, what about TNA? Well, here’s the deal with TNA, and I’m even going to go extra long for it and make a special bonus section. WEVV REVIEWS TNA IMPACT 7-20-06 OK, I saw Impact. Here’s my opinion of one show. I know some of the background angles from infrequent watching and reading recaps. What I liked: Daniels and Styles First two minutes of their promo. When they came out as champions, and looked like champions, and had the championship air, it was good. It didn't last. Team 3 – D Great promo. Better than Rhino’s “I HATE WWE” speech. Seriously. They explained everything, kept it real, and make it current, and relevant. Bobby Roode Great promo package. I don't expect less from Dave, but Booby came across as a real star. The wrestling. Good, fast paced stuff for the most part. My biggest complaints about the style of TNA has been that they hit finisher, after finisher, after finisher, and then pretend it never happened. A good devastating looking moves needs time to sink in for the fans., Bouncing up and doing another move that “nearly killed you!” makes it look fake. ROH fans may make notes and take stats, but then again, they can sit through five hours of wrestling in one sitting. Not many fans can do that. In fact, I’ll say that ROH fans are mutants. And a very small minority of the over all fanbase. What I didn't like: Jeff Jarrett And now I’ll tell you why. The gasoline angle is stupid. Why gasoline? Did he light Sting on fire? No? Then making appoint of using a flammable liquid makes no sense. Jeff wrestles very methodically. He has to think about what moves come next. And I swear, at one point during this match, when Jay Lethal took a huge back body drop, Jeff looked right into the camera, smiled and said “ Hey! Did you see that! Man, I look good!”. He also has no clue, after all this time, of how to do run ins for his match. They are blatant, obvious, and again, I swear the ref had to actually MAKE A POINT OF LOOKING AWAY to not see it. That’s horrible. Just horrible. Jeff is a Midcarder getting a H push. Jeff is annoying. From his music to his promos, to his look. You wouldn't mind seeing him getting his ass kicked, but not at this level. And on this show, Jeff was saying he’s a victim. No one buys it. It’s been three years. Give it up. You just got that belt handed to you, and management is out to get you? How stupid do you think the fans are? And that is why I hate Jeff Jarrett and can’ watch this show. Because TNA thinks their fans are morons. Case is point: Gail Kim yelling about how tired she is of the Big Chick. Big Chick just showed up. Also, while is Gail Kim black? I thought she was Asian. Daniels, Styles and LAX Man, this was just sad, for everyone who watched became stupider after seeing it. You don't have an envelope for us? Yes, we do. There’s no contract in that envelope! Yes, there is. See? I can't read it from here! We’ll take it to you. I don't have a pen! GOOD GRIEF! RUN YOU MORONS! That was one of the worst skits I’ve ever seen. Made worse because in the first 30 seconds, it was great. They were champions and at the end, they turned them into morons. WWE will probably steal that idea this week. Rhino and Samoa Joe Samoa Joe sounds a bit like Elvis when he talks. That’s a good thing. But their stare down, pull apart was badly booked. One week would have been fine. They didn't need to get physical. So, to sum it up, TNA has some good booking ideas, but they come across as generic. I like sports entertainment. I like the wrestling, but the sports entertainment is my gravy. And TNA spoils it. Seriously, I was getting pissed, and that hasn't happened since WWE in 2003. Sting is just lost. This is the same company who thought bringing in Sting and then telling you he was not coming back was a good idea. That really says it all. Christian was on fire, and that move just killed the momentum for both Sting and Christian. So, Jericho, I would say stay away unless you can get creative control. You’ll need it. And that wraps up today’s column. Quick plugs…and wait a second! NEWS FLASH! This just in. Word has leaked out of WWE about the planned Punjab Prison match., After some last minute debating Vince has made the final call. There will be a Punjab Prison match, but instead of Big Show, he will be replaced with his weight in midgets. Big Show as heard over saying ‘What the Fuck?!?! I flew in for this?”. Undertaker was said to be happy about this change, as he can finally get his hands on Matt Hardy for leaving the ring after his big squash back in February. Vince is said to be pleased, but Johnny Ace is said to be frantic. Midgets have been in short supply, and getting them all haircuts looks to be a big task. OK, thanks for that anonymous source. Quick Plugs and that’s a wrap. QUICK PLUGS! LOP FORUMS LOP COLUMNS FORUM THE MOVIE BAR! Great place for reviews of DVD's, Music, and special video clips. Your one stop review spot. THE PROJECT LIVES! Looking for submission of creative writing. A great way to get your work published, and noticed. LOP'S PWA E-FED. Best E-Fed on the net. Period. That's all for this week. Thanks for Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com - PLEASE LABEL ALL EMAIL AS FEEDBACK. THANK YOU. *NEW GALLERY* Vince & Stephanie McMahon Playing with the NEW BABY!!
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